


Bloodborn

by mercyandmagic



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Abuse, Bigotry & Prejudice, F/M, Freedom, Gender Issues, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, Kindness, M/M, Multi, Pregnancy, Redemption, Sexual Abuse, Sexual Slavery, Sleepy Cuddles, Survival
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-16
Updated: 2017-07-26
Packaged: 2018-10-05 21:53:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 20
Words: 72,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10317782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mercyandmagic/pseuds/mercyandmagic
Summary: After fleeing life as a Washuu breeding ghoul, all Nami wants is to craft a world where her unborn child can live in peace. But when her missions with GOAT land her imprisoned under the ownership of Juuzou Suzuya, the two of them find that healing can blossom in unexpected places. Suzuya/OC, Touken, Mutsurie, Nishikimi, and more.





	1. Chapter 1

 

**Chapter One**

**Black Lace**

 

**Please note that this story, as stated in the summary, deals with sexual slavery. I'll try to post warnings for content as they arise each chapter, but that's going to be a central issue throughout. Thank you for reading!** ****

 

            Special Investigator Juuzou Suzuya didn’t frequent this café, but then no one did, and they weren’t here for the food.

            The café was in a shit neighborhood, the once fancy, now dilapidated kind most people steered away from after dark. The kind assembled just enough for people to wonder what _happened_ as they hurried past chipped statues, peeling paint, and questionable movements down the dark alleys. And it was already dusk.

            All that considered, Juuzou wasn’t exactly going to refuse the overcooked croissant handed to him.

            In the two weeks since Sasaki’s treachery – oh, it hurt to think of him like that, and it wasn't fair – and the Washuu massacre, Suzuya hadn’t had much time for fun. So he was going to seize these few moments with his croissant and enjoy them.

            Sometimes he imagined Shinohara was with him. In his head, they had entire conversations. Shinohara liked him.

            He told himself that day after day, and usually he believed it. But if Haise could betray anyone, why couldn’t Shinohara? Was anyone safe?

            He ought to shut down his wonders. Business as usual had to happen. This was just how the job went.

Keijin sat to his right, sipping weak coffee, and Hanbee was two tables behind, reading today’s newspaper.

But it felt wrong. He missed Haise Sasaki.

“Hey! Your food’s really good!” Suzuya waved the half-eaten croissant around. The chewy, overcooked taste appealed more than he’d anticipated.

“Thank you!” The plump old woman grinned.

“Can I have my check?” He tapped his sandals against the tiled counter, swinging his legs back and forth, back and forth.

“Of course, sweetheart,” said the woman, pleased to finally have customers. She had the best food in the area, and she deserved more praise.

The bell above the shop door chimed, and a gangly man with a gaunt face and dark eyes wider than the universe entered. His suit was ill-fitting and his posture hunched, but his presence filled the tiny room.

“Hello, Hisen,” called the woman, sliding the bill to Suzuya.

As he signed his name, Suzuya peeked at the newcomer, though a subtle nod from Miyuki, positioned behind a book at the corner table, confirmed.

Hisen Inoue. The shop owner must hate him for never eating here.

Rated S+, suspected member of the Clowns, the tenant above this space.

At Inoue’s side, however, was a complication. She was a pretty female, dressed snugly in black lace, with hair the color of dried blood and enormous eyes that flitted from Miyuki to Hanbee to Suzuya, and back again.

She must know, thought Suzuya, but for now she played along.

“Don’t you think we should head upstairs?” asked the female, wriggling away from the hand wrapped tight around her hips.

“I think we both need coffee,” said Hisen, eyeing Suzuya, who shoved his bill at the old woman.

The female’s mouth parted, but she made no protest. Maybe she didn’t know how.

The café owner picked up the bill and gasped. More surprising than the generous tip or the young man’s red fingernails was the note scribbled across the bottom: _CCG –_ _Get out now._

Hisen’s eyes were already black as the lace on his female’s dress, his pupils red as blood.

“Nice to meet you!” chirped a smirking Suzuya.

“Can’t say the same.” Hisen shoved the female ghoul away from him and dove over the counter.

Suzuya yanked out Jason and swung towards him, only to stop so suddenly he lost his balance.

The old woman screamed as Hisen held her before the tensed Suzuya squad. “What’s happening?!”

“You’re going to be my dinner,” laughed the ghoul, licking her cheek. “Unless these dashing officers decide to let me pass.”

“I don’t understand!” she wailed. She worked for shit and nothing, because she liked it, and this ghoul would not take away her neighborhood now.

“Then I’ll make you. Stop playing stupid,” snapped Hisen, nibbling on her ear.

The woman gagged. She wasn’t food! She _made_ food! She felt so humiliated she briefly slitting her own throat with her chipped fingernails.

“Let her go,” said the short, blonde investigator with enough fury to remind her that her life had value.

Suzuya noted that the female ghoul, at least, would be easily dispatched. Mizurou’s Beef was already against her throat. She knelt, her only movement a slight quiver.

Hisen laughed, and on cue, his tangerine koukaku kagune erupted, shattering the glass pastry containers.

“Stop!” cried the female ghoul, but Hisen hurled the woman at Suzuya and dove over the counter. Salvation for himself before all others; how very much like him.

Across the café, Mizurou brought his quinque down, but to his annoyance, the female fought back, and poorly. She ducked, skirting the weapon by a centimeter at best.

Hisen flew past Suzuya, who deftly pushed the café owner towards Hanbee’s arms and scrambled after the ghoul. “Hanbee!”

“Got her!” His associate understood by his mere name.

As he blasted up the stairs, Hisen’s kagune swept out and knocked Mizurou back from the female.

 

 _Thank God_! Nami dove towards the door, wondering _why, oh why_ , was she too afraid to use her kagune.

A quinque sliced into her shoulder, causing her to lose her balance with a shriek.

She’d expected more force than that; she was already healing. Nami spun around to see the Dove wobble and fall to the dingy floor. He’d thrown his quinque in desperate effort to stop her flight.

He was lying there, already too weak to pull himself back up. His hands flailed behind him, struggling to grab the stool he’d been sitting on, anything he could use against her. He didn’t want to be eaten.

A crimson pool pulsated from his thigh, and his face was dead, dead white – just like Jiro’s must have been. And Iyo’s. And Tsuneyoshi’s.

Nami hesitated. She ought to leave now before they killed her. Death would be the easy option if she fell into their hands.

But there was someone _bleeding_ on the floor.

 _Someone save her from herself_. Nami dove for the Dove.

 

The café owner screamed again, unable to bear the thought of watching a human devoured.

“Calm down,” Hanbee ordered, whipping out Silver Skull. His palms were slick with sweat. He didn’t want to.

Nami took advantage of his hesitation, whatever the reason. With her teeth, she tore off a strip of black lace from her skirt and wrapped it tight around the barely-conscious investigator’s thigh. “I’m going to help you, okay? I promise.”

The shop owner whimpered as Hanbee inched closer.

“Wait! I’m trying to help him,” pled the female, noticing Hanbee’s approach. The Dove was still bleeding, albeit less. “He needs help.”

“Uh – uh – how?” He was bleeding. Hanbee knew that. So why did he ask?

“Hisen’s kagune must have caught an artery. He needs a doctor – I can – I mean, I don’t have good training, sir. I – uh – please – let me put pressure on it while you guard me, at least.” She trembled. “I promise I’m not going to hurt him, I promise.”

 

“You can’t run far!” Suzuya called, ducking through Hisen’s broken apartment door.

Draperies had fallen, and his kagune had swept his fine clothes from the closet to the shiny wood floor. The fragrance of broken cologne bottles permeated the air.

“But can you?” Hisen whirled around from his position by the window, which he hadn’t opened. He merely stared, kagune tensed, as if seeing the possibility of escape through that fragile glass was enough. In his hands he clutched a brass frame. “Can you run from your murders? Do you ever see our faces at night? Ha!”

“Shut up,” said Miyuki, noting the flick of Suzuya’s fingers.

“I don’t want to die,” cried Hisen.

“So surrender,” Suzuya said.

“You’ll kill me anyways, won’t you? I’m not valuable to the CCG. I’m only valuable to me, right?” He chortled, pressing the frame against his chest.

“Don’t fight us,” said Keijin.

“How can I not fight? This is my life!”

“I understand. But you won’t win,” Suzuya said carefully.

“Fuck, but you can’t either!” screamed Hisen. For a moment, the ghoul drew back as if he wanted to launch himself through the window, but instead he gave up, and lunged forward.

Suzuya feinted to the right and swung Jason into Hisen’s skull, which shattered with the same satisfying _crunch_ he’d felt from childhood. But today there was no reward for splattered monster brains.

“Well,” said Keijin, breathing in the relieving scent of death. “That was simple.”

“Yes.” Suzuya pounced on the frame that had fallen from the ghoul’s hands.

A younger Hisen smiled back at him, barely a teenager, with a taller girl who nevertheless seemed younger. The picture was torn and wrinkled even in its frame.  

“Any idea who the woman is?” Keijin squinted at the picture.

“No,” Suzuya said quietly. “Keep this. We should investigate her.”

Their childlike smiles struck him as eerie. Children, murderers, monsters. Not unlike he had been. But he could change, and they couldn’t.

Sometimes, the word _unfair_ niggled at the corners of his mind.

 

“We might have a problem,” said Nishiki, breezing into :Re.

“Oh?” Irimi kept polishing the counter, but Touka stopped in the middle of pouring Ayato’s coffee, drawing a scowl form her brother.

“Looks like Hisen Inoue is done for.”

Kaneki emerged from the back room as Touka burst out, “Was Nami there?”

Nishiki sighed. “Looks like she’s been captured.”

Hinami and Ayato exchanged glances.

“What does that mean for her?” Touka directed her question towards Hinami, but her eyes remained on Kaneki, pleading for him to open up. Just a smidge.

“It means if she cooperates she can buy more months alive,” Hinami said slowly.

“But she could tell on all of us.” Ayato slammed his fist into the counter. “We never should have trusted her!”

“She was suffering,” exclaimed Hinami.

“We’ll never regret helping her,” Touka said fiercely. “But we have to hope she doesn’t mention GOAT to them.”

“You know,” Enji said quietly, from his spot by the coffee pot. “When she showed up that night, she looked worse than any of you.”

“Yeah, so, what’s your point?” snapped Ayato.

“I’d trust her.” Enji shrugged. “What do you think, Irimi?”

“I think we don’t have a choice,” Irimi said with a sigh.

“The manager wouldn’t regret it,” argued Touka.

“He wouldn’t,” agreed Kaneki.

Touka still found his voice a relief, and from Ayato’s expression, her feelings definitely showed on her face.

“We can help her. Somehow, Goat will find a way,” said Kaneki, swallowing hard. “I believe in all of us.”

Like Irimi said, they didn’t have a choice.

 

Now that Hisen was dispatched, the image of Mizurou tumbling to the ground released into his mind. Hanbee was all alone with a human and a ghoul of unknown ratings. “We have to go back.”

Suzuya Squad scrambled down the stairs to find the shop owner crying on a chair, watching Hanbee hold Silver Skull over the female ghoul as she bent over Mizorou.

“What is happening?” Suzuya aimed Jason at the female ghoul. “I think you’d better get away from him.”

Nami felt another blade against her pale throat, and hated herself for the tears that sprang to her eyes. She swallowed, too afraid to move and end her life a second sooner. “But he needed help.”

Suzuya scowled.

The black lace was sound around Mizurou’s thigh. “I – uh – uh – Mr. investigator – he wasn’t going to last until you returned. I wanted to help him.”

“What kind of ghoul saves an investigator?” Keijin crossed his arms.

She doubled over, squeezing her eyes shut, pushing away from the memories. “No one else would help in time.”

For as long as she lived, she couldn’t look away. She’d spent so long wanting everyone to look away from her that now she didn’t want to look away from anyone.

“Why?” asked Suzuya.

“I just wanted to help him!” She wrapped her arms around herself as if she could shrink away.

A tear rolled down her cheek. She was scared. Jiro hadn’t saved her so she could throw their lives away. “I just wanted to help him. I’m not a threat, I promise.”

“Are you begging?” scoffed Miyuki.

Her eyes flashed. “Yes! Why is that shameful? I don’t understand you. Do all ghouls disgust you so much?”

Then she flinched, as if their disgust hurt her.

 _I don’t hate you_ , thought Suzuya. _This is just my job now_.

But the shaking girl before him hardly resembled Big Madam. And he knew what disgust felt like.

It made him uncomfortable, sharing feelings with a ghoul.

Haise’s face floated before him. _The only person who looked at me without disgust…was a ghoul all along_ …

“Who are you?”  
            She lifted her enormous eyes to meet his, a darker red to his scarlet. “I’m called Nami.”

“Do you have a family name?” Hanbee prodded.

She shook her head and reached out her hand to Suzuya. “Mr. Investigator…”

Miyuki answered her movements by raising his kagune, and she froze with a gasp.

“Wait.” Suzuya blinked back the memory of Shinohara’s smiling face. _I’m your new partner, Suzuya_. Her hands were much smaller and paler, and unmarked, as if she’d never done work in her life.

“Suzuya?” Miyuki hesitated.

“I just wanted to help him,” the ghoul called Nami whispered again, her voice childlike.

When she looked up, she saw the dainty investigator leaning over her, and her muscles twitched on instinct.

But though his eyes were voracious, they held curiosity, not lust.

He grinned. “I want ownership rights.”

Her face blanched. Ownership? Had she really gained freedom to lose it so fast?

“It means you won’t die immediately,” Suzuya said brightly, his face inches from hers. Sirens wailed in the distance, drowning out the shopkeeper’s tears.

“Is that…reassuring?” Nami queried with a nervous laugh.

“For now.” Suzuya smiled, pulling back. “You’ll just be our prisoner for now, Nami.”

“Back to … the CCG?” Her breath caught as the sirens blasted through her ears. More investigators poured in, more kagunes and guns, more help for the bloody man on the floor.

“It’s really your best option,” said Keijin.

Her shoulders slumped. “I understand.”

“Miyuki and Keijin, get Mizurou.” Suzuya pointed at them, and instantly their comrade was on their shoulders, being carried to a stretcher waiting in the twilit street.

“He’ll be all right. He’s strong,” Suzuya said, nodding at Hanbee. He forced a smile in return, and Suzuya turned his focus back to his new ghoul.

“It’s kind of remarkable. You’re not resisting at all. This means we have no idea how strong you are.” Suzuya stuck his face close again, and Nami stumbled back on instinct.

“You know I’m weak enough to surrender without a fight, don’t you?” Nami cringed as the long-haired investigator cuffed her.

“Could be an act.”

Hanbee put his hands on her shoulders, and his hair swung before her eyes, and for a moment Nami was in another time, alone with another long-haired man.

_You know it’s your turn. You have a fine body._

Nami blanched and tried to keep from gagging. “Ah!”

“What are you doing?” Suzuya whirled around to face her again.

Nami lurched away from Hanbee, her fact marked with terror. “Nothing! I just felt ill.”

“Was it whom you ate last?” Suzuya asked, tugging her outside. Maybe eating homeless men made ghouls sick on occasion. He’d often wondered. Now that he had ownership rights, he could find out!

“Um…” Nami blinked. She couldn’t tell about Touka’s generosity, Kaneki’s encouragement and Hinami’s hugs.

The shopkeeper watched her with narrowed eyes, the eyes of all humanity. She felt as if all the CCG agents saw her, too, and her skin crawled.

“I eat myself.”

“Are you serious?” Suzuya couldn’t help it. He laughed.

“Yes! Watch!” Maybe she’d give them a show! Nami held up her wrists and ripped off a strip of flesh. Agents murmured as her ghoul blood sprayed out, but within seconds her wound was healing. “It sustains me more than weakens me, and I – I don’t want to kill.”

“ _Have_ you ever?” Now Suzuya was just plain interested.

“I don’t know.” Why had she demonstrated? Why hadn’t she just been quiet, normal?

“How can you not know?”

“I don’t know. I just – I don’t know.” Her shoulders hunched over again, and she wouldn’t look at him.

“You don’t want to answer?”

Nami shivered as they hauled her into the CCG van. “Please. No.”

Now her tears were sliding free, and she hated that.

“You’re not going to die yet; why are you afraid?” Suzuya hopped next to her, Jason still in his hands.

“Hell isn’t always reached through death.”

He didn’t know what to say. He didn’t believe in hell himself, because he’d lived it. So had she, apparently. How funny.

Normally he knew ghouls faked feelings. But this one had backed her feelings by helping Mizorou. And sometimes, when he was overtired late at night, he lay awake wondering if Haise had felt as well.

He settled for an introduction. “I’m Juuzou Suzuya.”

Nami glanced briefly at the sweet-voiced investigator. His hair was a mess and threads danced along his skin. He certainly didn’t seem like a menacing human.

“Pleasure to meet you, Suzuya.” Nami grasped his fingers with her cuffed hands and shook them. Fear had given way to hysteria, and she giggled uncontrollably.

“Ha.” Suzuya couldn’t help but smile back. He wasn’t quite sure how else to respond to this strange, strange ghoul.


	2. Mourning Sickness

**Chapter Two**

**Mourning Sickness**

 

“She’s weird,” Suzuya said, munching on the frosted donut Mutsuki had provided for the CCG.

“And you don’t know who she is?” Mutsuki leant back against the counter in the break room, an untouched but cooled coffee cup in his hand.

“If she’s not cooperating,” Urie Kuki cut in, mouth full of plain donut, “you should just exterminate her.”

“It’s not so simple. She seems afraid to cooperate. And we can’t track down much information. She doesn’t even have a family name.”

“How do you she’s not lying?” asked Mutsuki.

Urie’s eyes slid to Mutsuki’s face. Good on Tooru, asking the same questions as he. And his fine eyes framed by those dark lashes, and that emerald hair –

 _Not now, Kuki_!

“Instinct.” Suzuya grinned, and the entire Quinx squad groaned at the reference. From the look on Saiko Yonebayashi’s face, she’d briefly considered hurling her chocolate donut at him, but who in their right mind would hurt a donut?

Well, except for Mutsuki. His face was blank. He was still upset he’d struck Akira, wasn’t he?

Urie wasn’t sure what to make of that. Mutsuki worried him lately. He behaved as if part of him had fossilized under Torso’s methods, and he was determined to keep it buried under the densest of rubble. And Urie Kuki wanted to be there with him, holding up the rubble with nothing but his hands if necessary.

“Well,” said Hanbee, “she was with Hisen Inoue. That’s at least one thing we can learn from her.”

“Exactly.” Suzuya swung his legs back and forth from his perch on the countertop.

Nami. Ching-Li Hsiao turned the pastry over and over in her hands, unable to take a bite. She remembered the shy girl who followed Furuta everywhere, the girl to whom she’d taught self-defense, only to have her break down in tears at the end of her lesson because she knew she couldn’t defend herself against the one person she wanted to. The girl who’d taught her math, because numbers came naturally to her. And now she was in CCG’s hands, perfectly capable of betraying the garden’s secrets.

Did Nami have the strength to light the truth on fire? Hsiao honestly wasn’t sure.

“Oh look, if it isn’t Matsuri.” Saiko shoved Urie out of view as the bulky, bespectacled man hurried into the office area, his chest puffed out like a bird during mating season.

“Is he still bitter that Furuta is taking the top seat in CCG?” Miyuki asked.

“I don’t think he cares. He’s preoccupied with something else,” said Suzuya blithely. Behind him, Hsiao and Saiko exchanged glances, and Urie flushed angrily.

Suzuya turned around. “Where is Furuta, anyways? He usually doesn’t miss an office gathering.”

Not that he minded – Furuta rather made his skin slither – but Suzuya had developed a habit of tracking all investigators’ idiosyncrasies. So he could lend them a hand, as Shinohara had to him.

 

 _He was here_. Of course he was. She’d expected nothing less.

Nami held her breath and focused on the spider dead in the corner farthest from her cell door. Could poison insects kill ghouls? Sometimes she contemplated trying it.

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t Little Nami.” Nimura Furuta crossed his arms as he beamed at the ghoul beyond the cell bars, huddled on a worn cot in the center of Corniculum Prison. Her face was either a welcome or an unpleasant surprise, and he had yet to decide which. “It’s been a while, hasn’t it?”

Nami pressed her back into the concrete wall. “Souta.”

            His face remained attractive, she had to admit. But there was a greed there she hadn’t noticed before. Or perhaps she had noticed, but merely ignored. Who could say?

“I’m Nimura Furuta now, actually.” Souta waved his hand around. “So, you did it, without my help. How’d you break free?”

Her heart slowed. Did he not know she had been there? Or was he playing her? Either way, the truth was her safest option.

Furuta shimmied. “I’m not sure I’m fond of waiting. You remember.”

Yes, he’d once pulled her hair when she’d fallen asleep instead of playing hide-and-seek with Rize and the other children. She’d found the pain heavenly, because he’d actually paid her attention.

Nami hung her head. “Jiro.”

“Ah.” Furuta’s eyes softened with something akin to pity. “So you did make it into my father’s house.”

Nami nodded. Agony flooded her. She was certain a thousand needles must be pressing into her reddened cheeks.

Her shame could be useful. Furuta waved the guard at the corner, just far enough away to be out of earshot. “Don’t worry about this!”

Furuta opened her cell door; the rusted metal yielded a screech rivaling a dying baby. He crossed the stone floor and took her hands in his. He bent over, pressed his lips next to her ear. “Do you know, Nami? I killed him. For you, for Rize, for me and everyone else he fucked.”

He would admit this so readily? Nami did her best to pretend. “I – I see.”

“Pity I killed Jiro, too. I didn’t know. The old man might have been able to help us.” Furuta straightened. He didn’t seem particularly sorry. “At least you’re here, right?”

“I – I – they’ll kill me here, too,” stammered Nami, clinging to his hand. His hands she knew and wanted to keep.

“Well, you’re looking at the new head of the CCG,” said Furuta with a wink.

“Not really?” Nami’s mouth dropped. Was she impressed? She seemed it.

Furuta smiled. _Yes, I was ascending a career while you lay on your back._ “Really.”

“That’s wonderful, Sou – I mean, Furuta,” said Nami.

His eyes focused on the small table to their side, the small table with the small bowl filled with untouched, bloodied flesh. “You’re not eating?”

Nami flushed. “Imprisonment does dampen one’s appetite.”

“I understand.” His mind whirred with ideas, though his hand patted her shoulder. “Don’t give up just yet. Perhaps we can come to an arrangement.”

He sauntered out, waving behind him. “Ta-ta!”

“Negishi.” Once down the hall, Furuta patted the guard’s arm.

Negishi was twice Special Investigator Furuta’s size and twice his age. He glowered down at this icy pipsqueak upstart. “Sir?”

“Has our lovely new prisoner has a medical examination yet?”

“No, sir.”

“Best hop on that.” Furuta danced his way out of Corniculum. She had to have been with his father for a few months. More than enough time.

As he burst outside, he clasped his hands together and squealed with excitement.

 

“Banjou says Akira isn’t doing well.” Kaneki clenched his fists as he strode into the kichen of :Re.

Touka looked up from the coffee beans she was carefully grinding, grinding as if they were a lover.

In his eyes, he was the same boy Touka had met all four years ago: scared and desperate to save others.

            “So what do we do? What can we do?” Nishiki leant back against the oven, then jumped back immediately as the smell of burning cloth erupted into the air. Despite herself, Touka bit back a smile.

            “I don’t know.” Kaneki squeezed his eyes shut. He was the One-Eyed King. He was the founder of GOAT. He ought to have a solution.

“Well, she was half-slaughtered by your former employees,” Ayato said, drawing an elbow from Hinami. “Ow!”

“I know.” Kaneki stared at the floor before spinning on his heel and walking away.

Touka sighed.

“That boy,” said Irimi, licking her finger to taste the coffee she’d just brewed. “Someone needs to get through to him.”

“I don’t think they can unless someone saves Akira,” Touka said quietly, ceasing her grinding. The grounds should be perfect about now.

Akira Mado, daughter of the man she’d killed, had to be saved.

“I think you can get through, so long as Mado lives,” said Enji.

Touka jerked.

“Oh don’t lie, sis,” said Ayato.

“Well, you’re going to help your sis help Kaneki, aren’t you, Ayato?” Enji smiled at the angry teenager. Despite his prickly nature, Enji and Irimi were thrilled to have another Kirishima among them. “You must know someone with connections. Someone from Aogiri.”

“What? No. They’re all dead and scattered,” protested Ayato.

“Not all,” Hinami said quietly.

“Who?” Ayato whirled around to face her.

“They’re not all dead, or CCG would have announced so,” Hinami said, taking his hand. “Come on. Let’s brainstorm. I – we have to do this.”

Her eyes pled _please help me do this_ , and Ayato could not protest.

An hour later, Ayato found himself mingling among the crowded streets, a letter penned by Hinami in his hand, addressed to Nico.

 

“Special Investigator Suzuya,” sang Furuta, blocking Suzuya’s path. His actions earned Keijin’s ire, but manifested no more than an enjoyable scowl.

“What is it?” Suzuya frowned.

“Your ghoul.” Furuta folded his arms, a smirk on his face.

“What? Does she want to speak with us?” Suzuya stood on his tiptoes with a sudden burst of energy.

Furuta sighed. _So innocent_. “No, but I don’t think we’ll have a choice soon. Seems the medical team found…complications. They wouldn’t give me more details, seeing as she’s yours.”

“Oh no.” Suzuya glanced to Keijin. “Uh –”

“You better go.” Keijin shrugged.

“Thank you, Keijin!” Suzuya waved as he skipped towards the office door. “I’ll be at Corniculum if anything happens.”

“If we find the woman in the picture, we’ll inform you immediately,” promised Keijin.

 

Suzuya crept closer to her cell, wondering what exactly Furuta had meant.

He didn’t precisely believe him. He suspect Furuta knew exactly what was wrong with Nami, but for some reason enjoyed the power of knowledge only if others were ignorant.

Furuta would be a terrible heir, but that wasn’t his choice.

He stopped before the specially smelted bars, listening to the unmistakable gurgles of retching.

 

“Akira’s can’t die. She can’t. She’s gonna die. She gonna die,” Seidou Takizawa muttered to himself, slumped in the hallway above :Re.

“Mind if I join you, Seidou? That is your name?”

Seidou looked up to see the man whose flamboyant clothing and blue hair practically condemned with the beige walls to decay. The ghoul who constantly grated his nerves. Perhaps because he saw himself in him.

“What do you want, Tsukiyama Shuu?”

“To talk,” Tsukiyama said cheerily, sliding next to him. “You’re taking this Mado really hard, you know.”

“She was my friend. I hated her for beating me in every class. She was always the reminder that I was always worse than her, and you know what?” Seidou looked at his warped hands and giggled. “She was right.”

“I’ve eaten more people than you,” Tsukiyama said in his annoying sing-song.

“You think you can compare? You didn’t betray those you loved. You didn’t betray your entire race,” growled Seidou.

“I think not. I betrayed Kaneki, because I equated love with food. I tried to have him eaten in the ghoul restaurant, and then I constructed an elaborate scheme to eat him while he was eating Nishiki’s human lover,” Tsukiyama said. “And you know, I never realized I loved him until he was gone.”

“What are you saying?” Seidou asked.

“Look,” Tsukiyama said quietly. “I know what it’s like to wait for love because you didn’t see it in front of you. Kaneki isn’t the only one I’ve betrayed because I didn’t realize.” He shook his head as Kanae’s soft, magenta eyes filled his sight. “And all I could do was tell her it would all be okay. I couldn’t even kiss her. She died that soon.”

“What’s your point?” Seidou asked, torn between impatience and – what was this – pity.

“Don’t wait. If you love that girl in there, tell her as soon as she’s better.” Tsukiyama jerked his thumb towards the door where voices rose and rose.

“I don’t…” whispered Seidou. Did he? Well, no, she loved Amon. She always had, because he was always second, the worst human of the three of them. And now the worst living being, because though Amon retained humanity, he wasn’t sure he did.

 _I know what it’s like, too_ , thought Kurona, listening around the corner. _Shiro_ …

She clutched her stomach and blinked back tears. As much as she fucking hated the CCG, they had better find a way to save this woman.

 

This was the worst possible timing – at least she could have had Tsuneyoshi’s pleased reaction before he died. Nami swore over and over.

_No – please – this can’t be happening._

“Please,” she gasped to no one in particular. Furuta had known, hadn’t he? He’d played her.

The cell door shoved her aside and Inspector Suzuya – her temporary owner – bounded in. “Hey, are you okay?!”

Nami gasped and whirled around, her eyes bloodshot and tear tracks down her face.

For a moment they stared at each other, and then her shock had lifted. _Oh no, he doesn’t._

Her hands snatched him by his cotton shirt and pinned him to the wall. A feral scowl plastered itself over her face, like a kitten pretending a tiger. “ _Tell anyone and I’ll eat your intestines_.”

“I’ll eat yours first,” Suzuya said automatically. His confusion stopped the moment he saw the medical chart thrown on the floor. “Uh –”

“ _Understand_?” she cried, her voice so tight it nearly snapped.

“You’re having a ghoul baby?”

Nami drew back, crying hard enough that gasps replaced her tears.

“Because if it were half-human that’s be really rare,” babbled Suzuya. “So I doubt it is.”

Her face twisted and she shook.

“What do you care?” she shrieked, her punch catching him by surprise. Then she was shaking him, barely able to eke out words. “Why do you care? Why? Just leave me alone, let me die.”

Suzuya frowned as she crumpled to the ground before him. In the next second, she forced herself to say, “I’m sorry I hit you.”

“Inspector!” Guard Negishi had his gun pointed between the bars, aimed at her skull.

“It’s not a problem,” Suzuya said, waving the guard back. “She’s a ghoul. I can handle a little violence.”

“Are you certain, sir?”

“I can handle her.”

“Well, she’ll get hers eventually, I guess.” Negishi backed down the hall.

“Is Hisen the dad?”

Nami’s frowned. Her face was nearly as red as her hair. “Must be.”

“You’re lying.” Suzuya eyed her sweating forehead.

Her face scrunched up. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

 

Nami lay on her cot, staring up at the cracks woven through ceiling.

Suzuya watched her nervously. She’d been silent for two hours, but he hesitated to leave. He’d flipped through the rest of her medical chart, and the nurse’s recommendation for suicide watch kept him here.

Not that he particularly wanted her alive. But if she became erratic enough, she’d spill her secrets, and he wanted them all. Besides, all he had left at the office was boring paperwork, and his squad could handle that.

“Investigator Mizurou is recovering well. The doctor said you did good to use a tourniquet,” he said, just to break the silence. Suzuya Juuzou did not like silence.

“I’m glad,” she whispered.

Suzuya was surprised to hear her speak. “Was it worth getting caught?”

Nami wondered if she should tell him. If she should say that the report’s claim of her as a “valuable specimen” and “unprecedented opportunity” scared her more than death. She didn’t want anyone touching her again, and now she was about to become a lab rat.

Her hand traveled down to her stomach. Something was growing in there, something not yet a ghoul, something that could perhaps emerge better than the rest of the world, if – oh, there were so many _ifs_.

And those _ifs_ could never it be, because it’d be imprisoned, just like she had always been. Tears slid down her face.

When Tsuneyoshi overtook her, she’d often lost herself to daydreams, dreams where her mother came back and fought to save her daughter.

 _I wish I could do that for you._ Nami wondered if the fetus even had a gender yet.

“Will this child ever have a chance at freedom?”

“Uh – Nami, it’d still need flesh.”

“But say – say there was a way that it didn’t need to kill. That there were foster parents willing to sacrifice a bit or two on occasion.” Nami rolled over to look at him. Or were all humans so cruel?

“It’s a ghoul. We couldn’t be certain it’d always be like that,” Suzuya said. “It’s a…ghoul.”

 _So was Haise_.

“So the possibility that this baby could be dangerous means it can never be free?” Nami grabbed the mattress and dug in her fingernails to keep from screaming. “I mean, Inspector Suzuya, you killed Hisen and I’m sure many more. What if I deemed you too dangerous to be free, and I locked you up because there was just the slightest possibility you’d kill someone again?”

Suzuya blinked. CCG had very nearly done that to him. Shinohara had stood between.

Could he – could he stand between this ghoul child and CCG?

No, no. He shivered. They were _ghouls_. They couldn’t change.

“I can’t,” he said absently, climbing to his feet.

“Did I upset you?” Nami cowered.

She acted more like one of the restaurant victims than the bloodthirsty ghouls. Suzuya shook his head. “I’m not going to hurt you.”

He was a man. More feminine than most, she had to admit, with beautifully tangled black tresses and eyes redder than any ghoul’s. But men made her into their puppet. Even Hisen would have, if Suzuya hadn’t interfered, and she’d accepted it for the sake of GOAT.

Yet those words were so welcome Nami found her eyes melting before him. “I wish you weren’t – I wish you weren’t so much.”

“What’s wrong?” Suzuya stood stock-still, scared of her flash flood tears.

“You’re – a male, and men are _cruel_ , and you’re CCG, and CCG calls me a science experiment. So when you say you won’t hurt me, I just – I wonder _how_? And I wish it were true.” Nami wiped her nose.

 _Don't hurt me. Stop!_ The screams of the guests echoed in his ears.

Maybe they were what provoked him to say the words he’d never allowed himself to say before: “But I really don’t wanna hurt you.”


	3. Lollipops

**Chapter Three**

**Lollipops**

 

**Contains LGBTQ+ slurs and references to sexual assault. :(**

 

“Beat her up or rape her, I don’t care.”

Hinami clapped her hand over her mouth. Beyond the door, Nico was confronting Banjou, Seidou, and Nishiki – and – and saying –

Ayato grabbed her free hand and squeezed it.

“We wouldn’t do that,” he whispered.

“What if I bet wrong?” Hinami hissed back. Roma didn’t deserve even a threat like that. No one did. Just whom, exactly, had she trusted?

Inside Akira’s dim room, weighed down with the burning scent of medicine and a collapsing life, Nico felt Nishiki’s glower before she even looked into his face.

Sure, Nishiki loathed Roma, but he did not appreciate Nico’s cruelty.

“You’re looking as wonderful as ever, Four-Eyes,” Nico continued, smiling. Her voice lowered. “I’d love to give you a favor or two…”

Nishiki’s face turned purple.

Now her eyes fell on Akira. “Hmmm…she’s going to die.”

Seidou jerked. He bit his tongue to suppress a scream.

“Banjou, you’ve never healed a human before, have you? It’s obvious. But, you know, when I was assisting Yamori’s tortures, I learned a thing or two.” Nico smiled at the memories of her former lover. He was gone, but she was here, and so a part of him remained. “So I know there is a way.”

Hinami gasped and pressed her ear against the door to ensure she had not misunderstood. Her heart pounded. She’d been right – this was worth it.

“It’s simple, really. Take her to a doctor.”

All those stupid men stared at her. After a moment, Banjou said what they all thought: “Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Well, you didn’t do a terrible job,” Nico said quickly. A quick compliment to an angry man, a teensy massage to his ego, and surely he’d retreat just like Yamori had. “But someone needs to remove her RC cells.”

 _RC cells_! Seidou shook. Akira was being killed by ghouls inside her body. Ghouls like him. He opened his mouth and hated his voice.

“We can’t take her to a doctor. She covered for me. A hospital will track her down.” Panic rose in him; internally or externally, ghouls would cause her death. He couldn’t – he couldn’t handle this. He’d kill himself. “You have to understand: she violated the Countermeasures Act!”

“Who said a hospital?” Nico rolled her eyes and placed her hands on her hips. Men, stupid men. Yamori was a lion, and they but kittens. “You just need a doctor familiar with the ghoul constitution. So I’ve got two choices for you dears: Akihiro Kanou – she’s be an easy fix for him, you know –”

“Shut up, faggot,” snapped Seidou, incensed. Look what Kanou had done to Kurona, to Kaneki!

Nico tried not to flinch. Even Yamori had called her that. All her lovers did. She just had to explain more, calmly. Nicely. With a smile.

“He might be cooperative.”

“No!” said Nishiki, shaking his head wildly. “Give us option two, Nico.”

“Well then.” Nico smiled at the bespectacled redhead as she took the card from her wallet. Yamori would have enjoyed this. Either that, or he’d call it silly and strike her for it, but she found personal webs amusing all the same. “Option two it is.”

Four-Eyes had no idea what awaited him, did he?

 

She frequently dreamt of murders. But the terror and splatter of blood never bothered her, for she could always rely on awakening to a guarded cell, a sunlit garden, or a warm room with a brocade canopy bed overhead.

            Tonight, however, things were different.

            The tall figure shaking her shoulders troubled her, but she didn’t awaken until a shriek pierced her consciousness like a kagune through an eye. Outside the room she shared with her breeding partner, her friend was crying “why” over and over.

            “Nami!” Jiro Kai clamped his aged, bony hands over her mouth. “Tsuneyoshi’s dead.”

Nami gasped and yanked Jiro’s hands away from her mouth. Had old age finally caught up to him? What would happen to her?

“The entire family is under attack.” As Nami’s eyes widened, Jiro dragged her out of bed and towards the bathroom. “It’s Souta.”

Souta? They’d been friends not so many years ago. She’d fancied kissing him, too, but he had eyes for only Rize, and besides she was a breeder for his father and wouldn’t that be a tangled web.

There was a crash and another wail. _Iyo_. Iyo was about to be murdered, likely at the top of the stairs, from the sound of fingernails scratching the brass bannister.

            Nami hesitated, her gaze on the door to the hall and every moral instinct demanding she run through it and send her kagune through Souta’s throat.

But Jiro tightened his grip and shoved her into the bathroom. “You know he’ll kill you too.”

            She felt too stricken to cry. Iyo – Iyo showed her kindness. They’d baked cookies together. She had to abandon her friend.

            Jiro gripped the doorknob. “He doesn’t know you’re here. Get out that window and run as far as you can. You will survive this.”

            “And you?” Nami knew the answer before she asked.

            “I’m going to die serving Clan Washuu,” said Jiro, shutting and locking the door.

            She stood frozen for a moment. She never got the chance to thank him. To confess she didn’t know how to be free.

            The bedroom door burst open, and she heard Jiro growl. “You bastard.”

            “Old man,” scoffed Souta’s voice, and his footsteps approached.

            She had to be practical. Even as she heard glass shattering and Souta’s laughter, even as she knew Jiro was likely breathing his last, Nami didn’t tremble. She yanked open the window and, grabbing the sill with her fingers, managed to close it before leaping to the ground below.

Suddenly, light streamed into the window above, and Nami pressed herself against the shrubbery that lined the wall. Her heart pounded under her thin nightdress. But then the light faded, and if she strained her ears, she suspected she’d heard a door slam.

Running would yield more attention than necessary, whether Souta, ghouls, CCG.

Nami wrapped her arms around herself and strode away at a brisk but calm pace. All but the immediate thoughts were blocked from her mind. If she was going to do this freedom thing, if she was going to process the meaning of anything, she had better start with proper clothing.

 

“Who’s the woman in this picture?”

Nami shrugged as Suzuya kicked his feet up on the lengthy table. During daylight, all she could think about was her secret, and at night, all she could dream about was the slaughter. Questions were not welcome in her exhausted state. “I wouldn’t know.”

Now Nami found herself cursing their intelligence as she faced the entirety of Squad Suzuya, including a recovering Mizorou, sitting across from her.

CCG’s interrogation room was dusky and heavy in atmosphere, as if haunted by the pleas of ghouls past. The door was behind her, as if she weren’t even allowed to see her one means of freedom.

“I think you do.”

“Well, you’re wrong. I don’t know her.”

“I think you should,” said Suzuya, leaning towards her. If his squad noticed his earnestness, they said nothing.

So he either wanted to help her, or he was a superb liar. Nami softened. “I imagine she’s Hisen’s sister. I mean, they look alike.”

“Do you have her name?” asked Keijin.

“No.” Nami hesitated.

“But you do know something,” prodded Suzuya. Urie’s words resounded through his mind. How could he keep Nami’s baby alive if she didn’t help him? And if she didn’t trust him, how could she believe he truly did want to at least meet a ghoul baby?

“He mentioned a deceased sister.” She met his eyes. “Maybe that’s her.”

“In what context? The dead sister, I mean,” said Mizorou. He gave her the most encouraging smile he could muster. Sure, Suzuya might be suspicious, but she _had_ saved his life. He couldn’t exactly hate her.

 _The smoothest lies are mixed with truth_ , or so Tsuneyoshi said when she’d pried into his work in CCG. “Hisen said she’d run off when he was young. She was going to China, and he tried to follow, but he never found her.”

“Why would he tell you that?” asked Hanbee.

“Because I wanted to leave. To go to China. To get away from Tokyo,” said Nami nervously, watching the picture as if Hisen and Rize yet lived. Hisen and Rize – named just like her daughter – smiled back like innocent children, children who’d never known their lives would end so short.

“I don’t believe you,” Suzuya said automatically.

“Excuse me?” Nami frowned. “What reason would I have to lie?”

“I don’t know. You just are,” sang Suzuya.

“I’m not,” she seethed. If she leaked such an explosive name, they’d be set on a collision course with GOAT, and she would not betray the only people who hadn’t used her.

“You are.” Suzuya smiled, seizing his chance. “But for the China information, I’ll at least uncuff you.”

 

“We were originally founded as a student organization.” Hisashi Ogura, self-proclaimed expert on ghouls, leant back in his chair. These visitors were real ghouls, his favorites.

 _Student…at Kamii University_. Kaneki had to wonder if Hide would have joined, just to learn more. If he himself would have, too, had he never met Rize.

 _Hide, vanished into air._ Kaneki swallowed.

Nishiki met his eyes and smiled encouragingly. To him, arriving back at the university where it all began felt like being dropped into boiling water. He could only imagine how Kaneki felt.

“We were eventually forced to disband, but our principle remains the same.” Ogura shrugged, but his eyes blazed. “We just happened to be born human.”

Tsukiyama lowered his eyes. Like he’d just happened to be born rich, and exploited that his entire life. Exploited people, too, like Chie, like Kanae. But at least he could still hug Chie, call her his friend. He couldn’t even tell Kanae his love or hand her a thornless rose.

“Persecutor and persecuted. If only that system were ended, perhaps we could begin to understand each other.” Ogura sighed, wishing he could bleed out to show how much he _meant_ it.

Kimi had said that, too. Her name haunted him here, everywhere. They’d made out in a music room like this and hooked up behind their mean biology professor’s office.

“That’s what our founder believed. She was a medical student researching how to cure ghouls.”

Nishiki stiffened. No, it couldn’t be.

“They say the man she loved was a ghoul.”

Nishiki doubled over and tried to suppress his tears _. Kimi. Kimi_ had done this. He fucking needed her face back in his life. God dammit, she had been trying to cure him. She hadn’t forgotten.

And he’d put her in danger once again.

“What’s wrong?” Ogura frowned.

“Nothing. Continue,” Kaneki said quickly, to Nishiki’s eternal gratitude.

Her loyalty was beyond his comprehension. And he…he’d never stopped loving her.

“We need an RC suppressor. As long as we have that, we can treat her like a normal human,” Ogura said.

“But isn’t that in a CCG lab?” asked Tsukiyama, noting Nishiki’s distress. “Any chance you have some lying around, _mon cheri_?

Kaneki growled. “We’ll raid the lab, then.”

“This isn’t ‘bring your friend to work day,’” snapped Nishiki. Her embrace wrapped around him, and he wanted to scream.

Tsukiyama stood. Nishiki’s angst mirrored his won too well. He needed a few feet between them. “Kaneki, my liege, if we got in, would you be able to identify it?”

“Yes.” Kaneki blinked back the searing smell rattling his brain. “That pungent odor…I’ve smelled it so many times before.”

Nishiki and Tsukiyama exchanged glances. For a moment, Kaneki had been back under torture.

They were al a mess, these ghouls. Indignation clawed at Ogura’s soul as he rose.

“I believe in all of you young men.”

“Do you?” Tsukiyama was almost amused.

“I do, and for now, I bid you adieu.” Ogura bowed, and as he closed the door behind him Tsukiyama had to smile at his atrocious French.

“Nishio,” Kaneki whispered.

Nishiki stiffened. Damn Kaneki and his observation skills.

“The founder of the Great Wheel Act, was that –”

Praise Kaneki and his empathy. Nishiki cleared his throat. The cold bangle weighed on his wrist. “We have this room for a while longer. Sing karaoke with me.”

If only singing would remove the screams stockpiled in his head.

He needed her love back in his life.

 

Two hours later, their interview was fading and Nami was miserable with nausea, and she could tell Suzuya knew it.

She eyed the red stick in his hand. “Is that a lollipop?”

“Yes. Guess you can’t have it, huh?” Suzuya unwrapped the candy to reveal a red sphere that glittered like a ruby. He promptly popped it in his mouth.

Nami kept her enraptured gaze on his lips.

“Jealous?” he asked around the lollipop.

“Really, I’d give up my kagune for that candy in your hands.” Nami laughed softly. “I don’t know what sweet or sour taste like. All I know is salt is that tingling you feel easting sweaty skin, and bitter is coffee.”

“Then you’re dumb,” called Miyuki from behind her as he rifled through papers.

“Well, it’s not like I never knew what a kagune was like. If I want to experience something new – I don’t think that’s dumb at all.” Nami crossed her arms to feign confidence. “Unless all you cared about was power.”

Miyuki raised an eyebrow, and Suzuya was once again surprised that he understood her. He almost wished he could offer her a lick – only a lick – of the lollipop.

“You have ukaku cells, correct?” asked Keijin.

“Yes.”

“What color?” Suzuya beamed at her.

“Pink. And a bit of orange.” Nami traced invisible memories in her mind. “A teacher once told me it was like coral, when I was younger.”

“Teacher?”

“Wouldn’t ignorant ghouls be more dangerous?” she challenged. “anyway, he’s dead now.”

“How convenient.”

“Where I’m from, ghouls don’t live very long,” Nami said sadly.

The door flew open.

“Is that the ghoul? That’s her?” Matsuri Washuu barreled straight for Nami.

He saw it in those eyes as she whirled around in a spiral of crimson hair. She recognized him.

 _Matsuri_ … Nami had expected him dead with his wife. Was there a chance for Iyo or anyone else?

She was so caught by her own hope that she didn’t notice Matsuri’s hands around her throat until she was gagging for air.

“Special Investigator Matsuri!” Keijin shouted.

Matsuri tossed the girl – no, ghoul – onto the hardwood floor as Suzuya shoved him away.

“I hardly meant for this, Matsuri,” said Nimura Furuta’s anxious tone.

So this was Matsuri’s means of killing ghouls. For a moment, Juuzou felt Shinohara’s hand on his shoulder again. _Show no more force than necessary._

He’d done more, much more, while an upstart. _Don’t die! Hang in there!_ _Hee-hee!_

Show was all he’d known. But he’d changed. And he didn’t think this fun anymore.

“But is it true?” cried Matsuri, quinque out and aimed at the petrified little slut who sprawled across the floor.

He wiggled his quinque into her chest, teasing out blood, the blood –

Her hands grabbed the quinque and thrust it away with surprising strength before Suzuya even had the chance to kick Matsuri in the balls.

Nami ignored the quinque slicing halfway through her bloody hands as she growled at him. She could regenerate her flesh later; right now she had to keep the quinque away from her throat.

She was shutting down again, just like before – all that mattered was living –

Suzuya gasped as her eyes clouded into an inky black and her pupils blossomed scarlet. “Stop!”

“I agree,” said Koori Ui, approaching with the Quinx Squad. “What on earth is this, Matsuri?”

 _Hsaio_! Nami gaped at her, momentarily jolted back to this world. But the Quinx frowned to feign ignorance, and she was glad.

“This ghoul will be spawning a baby ghoul,” growled Matsuri. “Isn’t that right, Suzuya?”

Nami’s eyes swam with memories; forget Hsaio. Once more she was locking herself away from people slaughtered behind her.

Suzuya hesitated. “Yes, but –”

“Oh my.” Furuta giggled behind her as the rest of the office’s mouths dropped.

He’d giggled then, too. _Old man._

She couldn’t stop slipping. Nami’s eyes filled with tears. She wanted to scream at herself, to be present _now._ This was her _life_.

She wasn’t here, she wasn’t here, she wasn’t here.

Urie sighed. “Well, you sure picked an interesting dilemma, Special Investigator Suzuya.”

“She doesn’t seem very threatening,” offered Saiko. Behind her, Mutsuki nodded enthusiastically, which caused Urie to give his begrudging assent.

“We should learn more before we kill her.”

“Well, we can’t have more ghouls brought into the world,” said Matsuri, glaring at the ghoul. She was carrying his half-brother or sister, no doubt, and enough information to wreck them all.

Nami swallowed her tears and held her eyelids open, forcing herself to look right into his face. She couldn’t lose reality now.

Reality was that Mutsuri wanted to kill her for her information. He was an enemy of ghouls and humans alike. Her tears spilled over – not from fear, but anger, as she kept her eyes open, as she stayed real. She would not surrender to him.

“It could be good for research,” objected Furuta. Behind him, Urie’s expression soured more than normal. _You stole my words._

“Say, Suzuya. Ownership rights are yours; I’ll let you decide.” Furuta clapped.

If pleading a child kept her alive, she would do it even though she wasn’t sure how she felt. No, if she was going to plead, she might as well love. _Please, help me love you._

Suzuya stared at Nami’s crumpled figure. Her shoulders heaved and her arms were wrapped protectively around her stomach. Her tear-streaked face lifted, pride be damned. “Please. Please don’t kill my baby. Juuzou.”

Hanbee was surprised to hear his leader’s personal name on her lips. Of course, a ghoul didn’t know protocol. Still, his name sounded almost sweet.

“Your _ghoul_ baby,” said Matsuri.

“Of course she’s staying alive,” said Suzuya, shooting a glare at Matsuri. Furuta was sure as hell better than this.

Nami inhaled with relief as Suzuya stretched out his hand. She grabbed it, then winced as blood oozed between their palms. “Uh – sorry.”

“It’s fine.” Suzuya giggled. “Get Matsuri out of here before _I_ eat him.”

“Gladly.” Ui snatched Matsuri by his bulky arm.

“This way.” Furuta smirked.

Urie stepped away quickly as the large man passed him. Nami frowned at the purple-hared investigator’s ire and Matsuri’s leer, the same leer Tsuneyoshi unleashed when he’d closed her in his room their first night. But when she scanned the faces around them, no one else appeared to have seen.

“Miss Nami, are you all right?” Mizorou asked.

“Um, yes.” She bit her lip.

“You’re aware you’ll have many more questions to answer,” said Keijin.

“I know.” Nami refused to look to Hsaio. She needed Ching-Li not to see her as a threat like Mutsuri or a toy like Furuta. Anger flashed in her stomach. Furuta was playing with her.

“Hey, watch this.”

Suzuya tapped her shoulder as he picked up the lollipop that had fallen to the floor. Heedless of her bewilderment, he rolled the candy in her bloody palm.

“Suzuya, you don’t give a lady food from the floor,” objected Hsaio.

“She’d not a lady,” Shinsanpei Aura said quickly.

Suzuya ignored them. “Here, taste this.”

He thrust the blood-coated lollipop into her open mouth.

Nami gagged and fell back. “Tastes like candy-coated vomit.”

“That’s insulting.” Suzuya licked the lollipop, then cringed himself. “Ew. Ew. Ew.”

“You ate ghoul food?” shrieked Miyuki.

Suzuya shrugged and wiggled his eyebrows.

“Now that,” Saiko announced, “is funny.”

“I wonder if it’d appeal to us,” mused Touma Higemaru. “Kidding, kidding!” He cringed at Urie’s glare. A lecture on the difference between a Quinx and ghoul was coming tonight, no doubt.

Mutsuki knew it, too. Urie’s lectures were another knife in his heart, another knife cutting off his legs, another person taking him as wife.

 

“I probably should keep you here as much as possible.” Suzuya apologized while guiding her towards her cell.

“I’d risk Matsuri’s brutality for a chance to walk around.”

“Do ghouls usually know us by our methods?” Suzuya swallowed.

“Just the cruel ones. Cruel _er_. Killing us for existing is cruel anyway, isn’t it? Even if I – I don’t blame you,” said Nami, glancing back just before the prison door swung shut.

“Do they know about me?” Suzuya held his breath. Blood splattered walls and eyeballs hanging out of their sockets flashed through his memory.

Nami cocked an eyebrow. “No…”

“Great.” Suzuya grinned with concocted happiness as he pushed her into her cell.

“Wait.” Nami’s fingers pinched Suzuya’s sleeve. She stepped close to him.

Her eyes were unfocused, as if remembering something. Suzuya waited eagerly.

But instead, Nami rested her head against his shirt. Her hair cascaded over both of them.

Suzuya stilled himself, fighting of the burst of adrenaline. She wasn’t going to bite him. Nami wanted to survive; she wasn’t that stupid.

With her hair cascading over both of them like a safety blanket, Nami met his eyes and whispered: “Furuta.”

“What?”

“Don’t trust him.” Her breath tickled his neck, and then she stepped back into her cell.

“Why?” Suzuya darted in after her. Furuta had obviously informed Mutsuri about Nami’s condition, but why? What did they have on each other?

Nami shook her head, just slightly. She had no evidence. She had nothing.

“Are you scared?” he asked her suddenly, using a wheedling technique Shinohara had taught him.

“Always,” she said. “Why aren’t you?”

“Because there’s no use for it,” he said. “I don’t understand fear.”

“Be careful, then. You’re rare.” Nami smiled and pushed him out of her cell.

Suzuya stared in after her. He’d get no more from Nami today, but –

She’d been warm and comforting. He almost missed her touch. As a thank you, Suzuya smiled and waved goodbye.

Ignoring him, Nami turned around, chanting in her head _Furuta can’t know, he can’t know._

“Psst.”

Nami screamed and leapt back. Pale, slim fingers wriggled through a crack in her ceiling.

“Who – who are you?” Nami craned her neck upwards.

An eye appeared above the small hole. “I’m like you, _liebling_.”

“All are ghouls here,” Nami said slowly.

“Yes, but not all are helpful, I don’t think,” mused the voice. “And it’s a pleasure to meet you. You’re the pregnant one, right?”

“How – ?” Nami’s heart pounded.

“All the doctors have been talking, and the guards, too. In prison, one learns to listen well. And occasionally have conversations with the objects in one’s cell. Anyhow, it’s you, right?”

Nami placed a hand on her anticlimatically flat stomach. “Yes.”

“Hmm. Looks like I’m not the only one at Furuta’s mercy.” The voice – Nami wasn’t sure if male or female – fell quiet for a moment. “My name is Kanae.”


	4. Thorned Roses

Chapter Four

Thorned Roses

 

“You said you needed to see me?” Juuzou Suzuya popped his head in Nami’s cell. “Oh!”

Nami sat stiffly on her cot, her eyes downcast, as a woman dressed in white held her head down.

The nurse started Suzuya’s presence and pulled a long thermometer out of Nami’s mouth. “I think we’re all set.”

“If you still need her, it’s fine,” squeaked Suzuya. He didn’t want to hurt Nami’s health. For science.

“Well, no matter,” insisted the nurse.

“Shouldn’t it matter, to make sure she’s okay?” Suzuya found himself surprised at the nurse’s clipped tones.

“She’s a ghoul.” The nurse shrugged. “But here.” She held out two fuzzy black-and-white images to Nami. “Ultrasound. Can’t see much yet. But it’s there.” She paused. “Almost cute.”

Nami took the glossy strips and dropped them onto her lap without a glance.

As the nurse strode past Suzuya, he couldn’t help but frown. Something felt wrong here, though he didn’t quite comprehend how.

The cell bars clanged behind them, and Suzuya pounced on the ultrasound pictures.

Nami cried out. Someone had touched her lap –

“Are you hurt?” Suzuya teetered back in surprise.

            Nami felt frozen. Finally she eked out, “I don’t like being touched.”

            She’d been fine when he’d cuffed and uncuffed her. She’d leant close to him not long ago! Suzuya couldn’t understand. “Why?”

            Nami colored. “Just … there.” She rubbed her thighs. “You could slice off my head and I’d find it less painful.”

            “No,” Suzuya said on instinct. What – oh.

Things like sex never really occurred to him. There was no point in a cut boy thinking of it. He tried very hard not to.

            Suzuya now had a very disturbing question about this father she refused to name.

            “I’m sorry.”

            Nami laughed, a biting edge to her tone. “I’m your prisoner. It doesn’t matter.”

            Suzuya knew he should agree and shut her up. But … he pitied this ghoul. Just like he pitied Haise. “I just wanted to see your baby.”

He squinted at the image. “Oh, there’s its head. It’s so cute.”

“You think so?” Nami brightened. Hesitantly, she stood and peered at the image herself.

“What do you think? You’re the mom,” Suzuya chattered.

Nami stood peering over his shoulder, her eyes wide and teary.

“Here, sit down. Investigator Mutsuki said rest is good. And to insist you eat.” He tugged her towards her cot.

Actually, in light of the increasing clown threat, he’d welcomed Mutsuki as a tenderhearted, even if brief, member of his team. Still, he hadn’t expected to discover Mutsuki reading three different pregnancy guides along with his breakfast.

“All I do is rest in this prison,” she said wryly, lying down obediently. Too obediently.

Suzuya sat cross-legged on the floor, just in case she didn’t like sharing her bed. His scarlet eyes shone. “So what did you call me for?”

Nami cleared her throat, unable to ignore the lavender eye staring down at them. Waiting.

“Were you familiar with the Rose Extermination?”

“Why?”

“I was, too.” Nami grabbed his hands. “There’s a rumor that the subject lives, and someone in CCG faked their death to use them later.”

“I heard –”

“Investigate that and I’ll tell you who the father is,” Nami promised.

Suzuya tilted his head. “What if I say I have and I’ve found nothing, but I’m just lying?”

Nami shrugged. “You could. I’d be sad. But, Juuzou, you’re like me. Practical. So I don’t think you _would_ lie.”

            “You think we’re alike?” Suzuya blinked back lollipops and her breath caressing his neck. He rather liked her comparison, and that scared him. She was a ghoul. “Don’t insult me.”

            “I was merely complimenting myself,” Nami said.

            “You don’t need to insult yourself either.”

            Nami’s eyes widened, and for a second he felt good solely because she did, for whatever reason.

            When had he started holding her hand? Suzuya dropped his grip. “I – eh –will get back to you.”

 

“Thank you, Liebling,” said Kanae. This girl had known Master Shuu, had told her of his recovery, and so anything else was kindness she couldn’t possibly repay.

“Although if he looks into me, I might be sent to extermination. Alas! “ She sighed. ’”Twould still be better than waiting forever, though. You know, Liebling, this place isn’t the most terrible I’ve been? It was Aogiri who sewed my eyes shut.”

“What?” Nami gasped. She was too short to reach through the cracked ceiling, but Kanae appreciated her outstretched fingers.

“They knew. I don’t know how, but they found out I loved Master Shuu. And so they used me.” Kanae’s voice thickened. She’d been a pliable fool, and every night she relived the needles on her eyes, on her mouth. How that investigator tortured himself willingly scared her.

“I miss him.”

He’d told her he cared. His eyes had, at any rate. But did he still? He thought her dead, so perhaps he merely pitied her.

“Do you think he’d come for you, if he knew?” Nami wondered at love. Sweeping love, the kind Rize had spurned and the kind Furuta desperately sought. The kind she doubted.

“I don’t know.”

Before, she’d have screamed _of course_! and defended him when he didn’t. But now she didn’t know. All she knew was that she was Karren Von Rosewald, and Shuu had, for one moment, accepted her. And so she would forever accept him back.

“But you love him.” Nami reached up again, as if by touching a being who loved might enlighten her.

Kanae brushed back a strand of violet hair. Someone saw. Did it mean anything?

Well, it did to her.

“You didn’t love him, did you? The father? ” Kanae tried to control the flush on her cheeks.

Nami wasn’t sure why she trusted Kanae, yet she did. Both were united against Furuta. Still, she felt her jaw clench. “I’m, uh, bred.”

“Bred?” Kanae’s bushy eyebrows rose.

“Bred,” she said tightly. She croaked in such a low voice Kanae strained to hear. “For the rich ghouls.”

Kanae’s eyebrows knotted together as the meager flesh in her stomach threatened to rise. “So you were a slave.”

“Please don’t.” Nami lifted her hands to her ears.

“Please don’t _blame yourself_.” Kanae rolled over and pressed her eyes against the crack. She peered down at Nami’s crimson waves. “Don’t you dare. Don’t you dare blame yourself for defying what you were bred into. I was supposed to save my line and let Master Shuu die, and did I? No, and I’ll never regret it, even though that fool Furuta has me as his secret plaything now. _Don’t_ be who you were bred to be. Be who you are.”

Nami shivered and tilted her head back to meet Kanae’s eye. “All I am is who they asked me to be.”

And then she’d joined GOAT, for a brief time, and tried to be useful, and gotten entangled investigating Hisen, and she’d lost herself trying to be useful for something other than children. She’d known the risk, but she’d done it – what was CCG compared to Tsuneyoshi fucking her until she struggled to walk?

“Then find who you want to be. I want to be both Kanae and Karren, and so I am. Master Shuu accepts me. That’s all that matters to me, to my heart. You find who you are, and be her.” Kanae’s complexion glowed, glowed for herself and Shuu.

She was shaking, wasn’t she? Kanae giggled. From passion, no less. She found encouraging someone who wasn’t Master Shuu intoxicating.

Unlike the rest of CCG, Furuta hadn’t needed to look outside. He could hear the approaching babble of clowns, hear the screeches of victims and crashes from people trying in vain to escape. And now Squad Suzuya and that freak Mutsuki faced a wall of clowns thirsting for their lifeblood.

“There are six wards currently being attacked,” Furuta recited to himself, opening a notepad, though he didn’t read off it. Instead his eyes focused on the fun outside. Tragic that he had to wait in the office. “As I predicted. Special class Kuriowa is fighting balloon clowns in the 9th ward. Civilians are panicking. Special Class Tanakamaru has the 18th ward. They’re not facing as many; they should suppress these clowns imminently. The 2nd ward has the aronist wards, but there are so many bystanders they’re running into trouble. The 22nd ward branch offices are under attack, but we’ve send Special Class Ui to assist. And now we’re here, the main office.”

He spread his lips in a grin. “Special Class Washuu is defending our rear. But at the front…”

Furuta bent over the rail and hollered into the wind. “Special Class Suzuya!”

Suzuya eyed him. The man who’d snuck an unregistered ghoul into Corniculum, if the paperwork he’d dug up was right. It’d been the most enjoyable paperwork of his life, at any rate.

“If they break past the bridge, they’ll invade the office!” Furuta waved his hand about to indicate the fearful cluster of investigators inside who would become dinner. And they didn’t know that _he_ was a ghoul himself; how exciting! “Defend that bridge with your life!”

These were people’s lives. And Furuta didn’t care.

In response, Suzuya swung Jason at a row of clowns. Heads flew, and several survivors stumbled back.

He held his quinque high. Shinohara had trained him well. This fool could not break him so easily. “Oh, it’s simple: I just have to kill them all.”

Furuta giggled. “Oh, yes. Please kill them all.”

If he thought Suzuya didn’t notice his wink, he was quite wrong.

 

Outside CCG’s laboratory, the mood was breathless and the air dark. People had fled and the dearth of clowns had the narrow streets eerily silent. The only motion now came from telephone wires swaying in the breeze.

“It’s been only twenty minutes.” Kaneki surveyed those he’d helped kill, colorful and hairy and bald and wiry and fat and all of them dead. For Akira, he hadn’t hesitated, and that worried him. “We can get to the lab quick –”

A suited man in a fedora leapt out of the building behind Kaneki.

Kaneki barely dodged the blade in time.

“Kaneki!” screamed Tsukiyama, but a glare from Take Hirako stopped him from running to his friend’s aid.

The man kept his head low so none could see his eyes.

One by one, suited men emerged from the shadows like cockroaches. They leapt from nearby roofs, emerged from sewers, careened out of nearby offices.

When their leader spoke, his voice was soft. “We are the main branch special investigators.”

Hirako jerked.

“You will be exterminated.”

“I’ve never heard of them,” fumed Rikai Souza.

“Well, that’s troublesome, I see,” murmured Tsukiyama in his obnoxiously cheerful voice. But he had to be cheerful – he had to, for Kaneki’s sake.

“I thought of them as legend,” said Hirako loudly. “The Washuu family’s secret aids. When CCG falls into great distress, they appear, or that’s what they say!”

“V,” said Kaneki, angry to mask his hammering heart. V. V again. Life-ruiners. Yoshimura haunted him. “Furuta’s lackeys.”

“Indeed,” said Hirako. He forced a shrug. “This is going to take too long. Go.”

Kaneki hesitated. The man’s lips spread across his face in a slimy smirk.

“Trust us,” said Hirako.

The man swept out his quinque again.

With a howl, Tsukiyama rushed forward and shoved Kaneki aside to swipe at the man.

 _He’s faster than me_ , thought Hirako. Impressive. Friendship could do wonders.

“No!” Kaneki shot out his kagune. Not another one of his friends would die. Not one. No one. He fought down the tremors that threatened to overpower him, even now.

Hinami was behind him– he couldn’t let them –

“Stop,” rang the clear voice of Irimi Kaya. She knew this boy, and she would use that knowledge, dammit. “Hina and I are nothing to laugh at. Leave them to us. If you choose to stand atop us, you _must_ rely on us.”

Kaneki wished he had time to cry, to scream that he wanted to be atop no one. He merely wanted to be by their side.

But he was a leader. This was his fate.

“Goat! I leave you under –” who was perpetually unfazed? “– under Tsukiyama’s orders! Strike down the black-clothed guards and these clowns. Show them we are here to stay.”

“Oui,” said Tsukiyama with a wink. Him, a temporary leader, how about that. He touched his mask to remind him of Kanae’s strength. “Oh, gentlemen and laides, it is time to let the earth shake with Goat hooves! In other words: time to dance!”

 

The firefighter didn’t even have time to scream. He merely gagged as a long, speckled kagune swung him round and round.

But Higemaru, oh, he had time to scream. “ _Uncle_!”

Urie blinked. Death was instantaneous. One moment an affectionate uncle, the next, a corpse.

 _Train this young man into a fine investigator_. Those had practically been his last words, and fine ones, they were.

 _I will_ , Urie vowed. “Subject is up there. We’ll cut him off at the top.”

Higemaru wrestled tears as he gazed at the tall, abandoned warehouse. The kagune was gone. Uncle’s body lay splayed on the asphalt.

And Urie had already spidering up the fire escape. _Shit_.

“I’m coming!” panted Higemaru, scrambling behind his squad leader. They could end this invasion of clowns. CCG was strong enough. And he was with Urie Kuki. He would be strong, for Uncle. He’d show that ghoul his uncle – humankind in general – was not a plaything.

If he had to guess, the kagune had come from the ninth floor. Urie motioned Higemaru to follow him down the dusky hallway.

His nose tingled, and he glanced behind him. Higemaru nodded; he smelt it too.

Urie thrust open the door to a cavernous room. A slim, leering ghoul with crosses over his eyes and gleaming silver hair stood far back, waiting for them.

“Meow. Looks like some kittens lost their way,” he purred, stroking the gauzy curtain behind him.

Urie’s heart pumped faster and faster, and Higemaru only knew enough to be terrified.

“Donato Popora.”

Child-killer.

And here he was, before him. And Urie was leading his second generation, his child if you will, right into his claws. His voice became brittle. “Higemaru, stay focused or die.”

 

“This can’t be good,” Nami muttered between the alarm’s pulsating screams.

“It is if we can escape,” Kanae replied dreamily as red lights flashed across their cells. They made her dizzy enough to imagine Shuu’s arms around her, his promises forgiving her.

“You know Furuta’s probably behind this,” Nami said, peering out of her cell. Only a few guards remained – the rest had been summoned to CCG.

Stones piled up in her belly – what if Furuta had done something to Squad Suzuya to halt their investigation? She’d hate herself.

“I wish I had kept my hair long so I’d have a pin right now. But I cut it so long ago. Do you know, Master Shuu taught me to pick a lock when I first arrived so we could investigate all the servant’s rooms?” Kanae smiled.

“These locks are electronic.”

“They wouldn’t stop me,” chuckled Kanae.

“Oh, I believe you,” Nami said, sinking onto the stone floor.

“That can’t be comfortable for you or the little peanut.” Kanae fell quiet. “Though I suppose being pregnant by your rapist isn’t comfortable on cushions or stone.”

“Don’t call him that!” Nami balled her hands into fists. “I didn’t – I wanted to, because I guess I didn’t know how not to want to –”

“Liebling, you mean you wanted an old man shoving his –”

“ _Stop_!” screamed Nami, clapping her hands over her ears. “Shut up! Shut up!”

“You’re worth more than that, Liebling.” Kanae found herself using the cold tone she’d always wanted to use with Shuu, but she couldn’t because his eyes were so, so sad and fragile.

Nami squeezed her eyes shut as the walls trembled.

An explosion ripped through her eardrums, and she was thrown onto her side.

Now her eyes popped open, and her palms met the stone floor, but she was too stunned to do anything but stare.

 

Urie unfurled his rinkaku. Vengeance for the children would be his –

“Urie!” cried Higemaru.

Urie blinked. “Where?”

Donato was gone.

“Impossible!” Or, at least, Urie meant to say so, but he never got the chance. The ceiling disintegrated, knocking Higemaru to his knees and Urie – Urie found himself entwined between a vile rinkaku kagune and the ceiling.

“No!” Urie howled as Donato pounced on a panting Higemaru.

“Oh, dear, this will be wonderful, won’t it? You’ll watch me dismember your man, watch from on high, and you won’t be able to do a thing. It’s so cruel, only being able to watch over others.”

The priest bared his teeth. “Taste how it feels, Urie Kuki! Taste how I feel!”

 _Snap_.

Higemaru screamed. His arm was being torn off and he – he was powerless – no, please, not like this – he wasn’t a toy –

 

Suzuya was desperately in need of oxygen, but there was no time for breath. Two ghouls charged him from the right – and Tooru Mutsuki leapt forward to hurl his kagune like knives into their eyes and brains.

Suzuya bent over and heaved in air.

“You’ve changed since the island,” said Keijin with a nod.

Mutsuki whirled around. Yes, yes he had – did they know? Did he read psychotic rapee and dismantled murderer to them?

“You can be aggressive _and_ a baby enthusiast,” said Suzuya, offering him a smile. “It’s great.”

Mutsuki smiled back. They thought his duality good. Perhaps – perhaps he ought not to fear it. Perhaps he could embrace it, and be a good person for these people.

A clown clamored to its feet and grappled for Suzuya, who sent his knife right into its neck.

And its mask came off – and Suzuya didn’t see red eyes. He saw tears and lips sewn shut, and as bad as he’d been with self-mutilation, he’d never sewn his lips shut. No one would willingly.

“H – human?” stammered Suzuya. _What have I done?_

“Ha!” A familiar ghoul leapt before a shaking Suzuya. “Well, we haven’t met since the auction, my pretty puppet.”

Suzuya’s eyes flashed. He was not pretty, and he’d never be Madam’s puppet again. He was – he was a killer, and an investigator – he was a special class investigator!

“How about I draw on your face this time?”

“Oh, no.” The ghoul giggled, deftly ducking to the right as Suzuya charged.

 

Mutsuki whirled around from the piles of humans – not ghouls, humans – and Suzuya knew, and he knew, but he couldn’t stop; they were aligned with the enemy.

He froze at the undulating ghoul dancing around Suzuya.

He knew that ghoul.

That one had made him a woman, sold him like the piece of meat he was. “Hanbee!” he screeched to the nearest investigator. “Suzuya needs you!”

 

“You think it was Haise Sasaki, Urie? He’s so famous. And clowns love fame.” Donato ripped out Higemaru’s collarbone. He made sure to sever it along the way.

“No,” Urie said furiously. He would not bend to Donato’s mind games. “No, it wasn’t him. I know him.”

“Did you?” Donato grinned.

“Urie, don’t,” cried Higemaru as half his trapezius was shredded off.

“How’s it feel to be outside after so long?” growled Urie. He could push back. He could force mind games to be his domain. “Is it everything you dreamed, Donato? Working for clowns?”

“Ha.” Donato clucked his tongue. “It’s not bad. But the women are too thin.” He grinned wide at Urie, sure to communicate that he knew women were not the type Urie would notice.

“And the children are imbeciles. Do you know how enjoyable it use to be to roll around those wisdom-filled eyed like candy?”

Urie choked back a gag. “So that’s why you ran the orphanage! You’re disgusting!”

“The orphanage was my place of peace, and it was stolen from me!” hissed Donato. “And you know who the investigator was? Oh, let me think, let me try to recall –”

He tapped his fingers on his chin for effect – his hands were away from Higemaru!

Urie screamed then, ripping himself free from the ceiling. He dove on Donato, biting and clawing, anything and everything to wreck his monster – he’d known, he’d always known –

“Do you know, Kuki Urie? His name was Mikito Urie! Your _daddy_.” Donato cast Urie into the wall like a doll.

_Daddy, I want to be an investigator like you._

_And he’d replied: Ooh, I look forward to working with you._

He hadn’t ended up like Dad had wanted. Would Dad hate him now, half a ghoul?

Urie growled and stumbled forward.

“Oh, you can still fight? Ha! Goodbye, weakling.” Donato smirked. “But thank you: I _have_ enjoyed the show.”

No – no –no – Urie had to pay him back. Pay Donato back, rip him to shreds for what he’d done to Higemaru, to Father, to the children –

All he felt was rage. Rage would make him strong. He must block out ever tender thought of Mutsuki, focus on the pain – he’d be able to kill him – kill – kill – kill –

 

“Suzuya, my boy.”

Suzuya spun around, nearly dizzy from this ghoul. Shinohara?

And there he was, staring at him with those fatherly eyes.

“What –?”

His calloused, stumpy fingers touched his face, like they had the night of the Owl Raid.

“No!” Hanbee screamed, hurling a knife straight through Shinohara’s face.

Suzuya shrieked. Not again!

“He’s an illusion!” Hanbee shook Suzuya. “Wake up, _please_!”

Everything Suzuya felt was a lie, a lie as sharp as glass shards.

 

“Kanae!” Nami scrambled through the gaping hole in the ceiling. She ought to ignite her kagune and fly up, but she just couldn’t. Not yet.

To her surprise, Kanae lay there unbloodied and unbruised, contemplating the sight of an open cell door.

Nami scowled. “What are you doing?”

“Is it right to escape? Or will I just hurt him more?” Kanae whispered with a shiver.

“You love him. Time to love yourself and escape to him,” Nami said immediately. She decided she couldn’t let herself care if she owed CCG, if her words betrayed Juuzou who’d saved her life.

Because she was back at eight years old, whispering those same words Souta as he cried over Rize’s escape. But he never had listened. If he had, would she be here? Would he have turned out happy?

Kanae leapt to her feet.

“You, too.” She seized Nami by her shoulders. “I’m sure Shuu would pay for your doctor.”

In the distance a guard screamed. A ghoul was probably ripping out his flesh – and surely he’d been planning on coming home to his wife and enjoying his own dinner instead of dying –

“They’re dying,” Nami said. Like Iyo and Jiro. Her voice broke and she lunged for the door. “I can’t!”

“Stop!” Kanae wrestled the smaller girl away from the cell door, now ajar and as off-kilter as her mind.

Nami had to think, fast. She’d never been strong enough to resist. “You wanted to bring down Furuta, right?”

“To help myself escape, but now I don’t need that damned rat!”

“I do! I need to know what ate him alive from when we were kids. And – and they’ll never stop looking for us, so you need his downfall, too.” Nami tugged away, but despite her wiry build, Kanae was strong. “Let me – go – I’m going to stay, and I’m going to help bring down Furuta and by it save us all.”

“Bringing down someone won’t save you.” Kanae, she’d been saved by bringing up Master Shuu. Without his affirmation guiding her happiness, she would never have survived long enough for Furuta to find her.

“Then I’ll find something that will. Now I’m going to start by stopping these guards’ slaughter.” Nami’s eyes blazed, and she felt as if she were slipping away again.

But this time, towards freedom, towards a freedom where she could choose to help her captors instead of something so stereotyped as hate.

Kanae removed her knuckled shackles. “Don’t get you and the peanut killed. My conscience wouldn’t accept that, and I’d get killed avenging you, and then where would we be?”

“Go kiss him,” Nami replied. Should she hug Kanae? When were hugs appropriate – no one hugged in the Garden. Only Iyo did, when she’d arrived at Tsuneyoshi’s mansion.

“Let’s go. I’ll help you as far as the door,” said Kanae, shoving past her. She giggled. “It’s been awhile. The rose has thorns!”


	5. Don't Go

**Chapter Five**

**Don’t Go**

  **Content note: attempted sexual assault.**

“I can’t stop it,” cried Kanae, pressing her fingers over Negishi’s thick throat.

Nami leant over his pallid form. “It’s…”

 _Carotid_. She couldn’t form the word. She didn’t want him to recognize it and panic. If there were any way for him to fade peacefully, she wanted that.

Kanae’s eyes softened, and to her own surprise, she found herself shutting the eyes of the guard who’d mocked her for her masculine behavior. She actually wished she could have kept them open.

“Most people have fled by now,” Nami said, surveying the bloodwashed walls and broken glass. The blast had struck the security center, opening all their cells, carving a window to the outdoors, and killing all nearby. Well-planned, Furuta had been.

She couldn’t even look at the body, could she? Kanae narrowed her eyes.

“And those who haven’t?” Kanae nodded at the bearded, bespectacled guard with a femur protruding from his thigh and a crowbar from his lung, and his smaller, unconscious partner whose luscious lavender hair stained with blood.

“I can’t leave them here,” Nami said through tight teeth. “They’re going to die.”

“So you’ll stay until Furuta kills you? I’m certain he’s thought of a way to blame you.” Kanae lowered her voice. “You have to know he’s using you as well as me.”

“No! I won’t roll over and let him – kill me.” She choked. “Not anymore. Believe it or not, I have a plan. Not a good one, but a plan.”

Nami clenched her fists. “You should go.”

Kanae hesitated. “It’s improper to leave you here, Liebling.”

“I have a plan, and it involves you seeing your lover again,” declared Nami. “Or, shall I say, he who will be your lover.”

Kanae’s cheeks tinged the color of wine. “You won’t think me greedy?”

“No, but I really do have to get these two to safety now, so please go, Kanae.”

“All right.” Kanae kissed the petite woman’s forehead. “I have faith in you, Liebling. You’re stronger than you know.”

Kanae smiled for a moment before before scurrying towards the moonlit hole in Corniculum’s wall.

Nami touched her forehead, for a moment stunned that a kiss hadn’t left her terrified.

_People were dying._

Nami forced herself to focus, drawing the woman towards herself with one arm and the male in her other. He moaned, and she wished she could comfort him, but she had to fight back a whimper herself.

She wasn’t supposed to use it.

He cried out, and Nami suddenly found herself screaming with him.

She hated making her own decisions. She hated her own risks.

Still Nami sunk her teeth into her lips, and a purple and pink ukaku emerged behind her.

 

Amidst the flickering lights and décor of ghouls encased in slumber, a creaking noise disrupted Ayato’s triumphant whisper.

“Ayato – ”

Kaneki’s eyes met Seidou’s. If both former agents were frightened, something was definitely wrong.

“What did you press?” Seidou could only stare across the cavernous lab as the center ghoul case cracked and shattered. A slimy body slithered out like an afterbirth.

“I –” Ayato cursed himself as he squeezed the RC suppressant in his sweaty hand. He was an eternal fuck-up, wasn’t he?

The ghoul burst into a kakuja behemoth, with wings and arms certainly too powerful for his ukaku.

 

“Urie, what happened?” cried Saiko.

Her Squad Leader writhed on the building floor, screaming the language of rage and pain. His kagune seemed to control his movements; his mind was powerless to stop it.

He flung out towards Saiko, and she dove into Hsaio to avoid being sliced in half.

For a moment, her limbs were too heavy to move. Oh, why was she short and fat and useless?

“H-h-help him,” moaned a partially shredded Higemaru. The sight of him hurt Saiko to see, but she would look, dammit.

Saiko couldn’t mask her shriek, but Hsaio clamped a hand on her shoulder. “We have this under control, Saiko.”

_We have to._

Turning to Urie, Hsaio scowled. “How _dare_ you turn your blade on Saiko. She was here as long as you, and she’s fucking important!”

What? Saiko gaped at Hsaio as the lithe girl hurled Urie to the floor with a well-aimed kick.

It was time to move. Saiko planted her feet far apart and opened her arms to the world.

“Take that! Kagune cancel!”

Urie whipped his head around to see her. His tongue snaked sharp out of his mouth, and his eyes glowed like red-hot iron. He was a monster – but she felt no fear.

 

“Ahhh!” Suzuya swung desperately at the fiend who’d desecrated Shinohara, but even though his muscles stretched and tore, he couldn’t give Jason its flesh.

 _He was playing me_. Suzuya ground his teeth. He didn’t care that Arima would have killed this ghoul already, or that he was supposed to be the new Arima. He cared that this ghoul had adopted Shinohara’s face.

“Haha!” After another dodge, the ghoul raised its hands and shimmied its hips. He teetered on the edge of the bridge they’d found themselves on, teasing Suzuya that sure, he could flee, but why would he when murder was so much fun?

Suzuya lunged forward again, but this time he threw Jason to the ground first.

The ghoul easily stepped sideways, but –

Now the little CCG boy had kneed him between his legs and his fingernails were tearing at his mask.

 _Exit time_.

With a powerful kick, Suzuya was thrown backwards, and the ghoul fell off the side of the bridge, graceful as a cat, as its beetle-like kagune emerged.

 _No_! Suzuya scrambled forward. He was going to get away, and he’d imitated _Shinohara_!

“I’ve got it!”

“Mutsuki!” cried Suzuya, but the emerald-haired boy had already dropped over the bridge. How to encourage him?

He dashed to the edge of the bridge. “Don’t take too long!”

“Okay!” Mutsuki dashed after the beetle.

Huh. Suzuya glanced around him, at the bodies and few ghouls left to struggle against the inevitable victors.

Even in the midst of battle, he’d thought encourage Mustuki. Suzuya watched Mutsuki slip from his sight. _I guess I’m like Shinohara after all._

That cretin could take Shinohara’s face, but he could never touch his effect on Juuzou.

 

_Amon._

Haise – no, he was Kaneki – doubled over at the sight.

This ghoul was “Floppy,” a defect of the Owl, a victim, a CCG investigator.

Of all the investigators he’d fought before becoming Haise, Amon was the only one who had acknowledged him. He’d seen him as a person. He mattered.

And now Amon was here, released by Ayato, free to kill them.

Kaneki gripped his hat as he stepped forward. He had to defend; defense was all he was good for.

His hands were stained with guilt blood already. What was one more?

But Amon had been kept as a guinea pig. An experiment. _He’s lost his personhood, and I’ll take more._

_Maybe just a little._

Kaneki swallowed his fear and hurled his kagune towards Amon, but the kakuja blocked it easily.

“No – it’s no use,” he gasped. _No, no, no. Don’t make me._

“Kaneki!” Ayato screamed from across the room. “We have the RC suppressants! Leave him!”

Amon screeched in response. His eyes bulged out of their sockets.

“I can’t,” Kaneki whispered. _Amon_.

 _Akira loved you._ And she was family.

To save his family, he had to hurt his other family. Kaneki fought the urge to vomit.

 _Is he really this uncreative_? Ayato scowled at Seidou, who shrugged in response.

How could Seidou have an idea? He sucked.

“Tsk, you half-assed idiot!” Ayato landed beside their leader, trembling with ire. How could he say enough? “You still have things to do, in case you’ve forgotten. I’m talking about things only _you_ can do! Tsukiyama and those investigators, those guys from Cochlea, even Naki and his pals, they’re all giving it their all for _you_! And – and back at the base, Banjou! And – God, I hate to admit it, but _I_ rely on you! And you know I don’t rely if I can help it!”

He forced a joyless chuckle. “Countless ghouls rely on you. We’re holding on because we have you!”

And now he would pull his trump card. Ayato seethed. “Even my sister is waiting for you! If you’re ready to throw us away for emotions, you’re a half—assed bastard!”

He remembered those steps away from Aogiri, all for Hinami. He’d never regret it. And Kaneki wouldn’t regret choosing Touka now.

Ayato grabbed Kaneki’s suit. “You’ve got to learn to let go!”

For a moment, Seidou felt second-best in class again. Ayato had granted him time for an idea. He didn’t totally suck.

“But, remember, the responsibility of choosing doesn’t fall to _us_.” He gestured towards Kurona and himself. “I’d…I’d find it an honor to fight with this investigator you respect so much.”

His creaking voice choked out as he looked desperately for Kurona’s tacit approval. Her silence was good enough.

“In the academy, they told us to lay down our lives for our superiors. What will we do if you die too early? We’ll knock sense into Amon, and drag him home, okay, King of Sheep? You head home and give that reeking liquid to Mado.”

Kaneki hesitated. Leave Amon to two unhinged ghouls?

Ayato held out the RC suppressant to him. It filled his nostrils. A chance to trust others, this was.

But he couldn’t.

Still, Kaneki found the medicine in his hands and his feet leading him out of the lab.

“Now, then, Amon.” Seidou crouched low, a disheveled grin on his face, as a solemn Kurona towered over him. “All of us half-done rejects should get along, right?”

 

“Haise…” Mutsuki stared at the ghoul toppled before him. Trees blocked the stars all streetlights were broken above them.

He felt it wasn’t him, and the smell was all wrong, but wasn’t Haise all wrong anyway?

Haise, who’d always shown him kindness, who’d cast them all aside like they were _nothing_ , just trash to rot away.

Haise, who’d stared at the blue-haired stranger in the coffee shop with a passion he’d never show Mutsuki.

Because Mutsuki was disgusting. Mustuki was trash.

 _You’re trash_!

Mutsuki gasped back a sob and pressed his shaking fingers against his mouth. “D-d-d-don’t go…”

Haise shifted, then, and Mutsuki screamed. “You left!”

The knife slammed down, into his perfect face, the fact that wasn’t even him but oh, it felt so right to stab him and yet so miserable.

Mutsuki’s breath came faster and faster, until he thought he would pass out.

The sounds that came out of him were garbled shrieks, like the tortured cats.

And then they softened.

And then they went missing.

He was dead. He had to be.

“All done,” whimpered Mutsuki, leaning down over Haise’s body. For a moment, pressed against Haise, he felt safe again.

“I’m…almost embarrassingly female,” he mused. Weak. Fragile. Driven mad all for love. Worthless.

More. More. He needed to be closer, to be valued, to be safe with Haise. Mutsuki’s paws grabbled for Haise’s belt.

 

The pristine, clipped architecture of the Commission of Counter Ghoul center was buried under the bloodied bodies strewn across the grounds.

Nami caught her breath. If she came across Matsuri instead of Suzuya, this might well be the end of her.

 _I’m sorry_ , she prayed to GOAT. Somewhere, they must be helping these people, but she couldn’t rejoin them yet. She would use this freedom thing to save her enemies, and maybe, just maybe, such actions would save ghouls in the future. God dammit, she was a fool.

Was that Hanbee ahead? Nami squeezed the wounded guards in her arms tighter. “Hold on.”

“Ghoul!” screamed a male voice, and Nami ducked to the gravel, barely twisting in time to avoid smashing the guards against the gravel.

“Please don’t!” she cried, grimacing at the already-healing abrasions she’d received. “These people need help!”

“From you!” spat the investigator, aiming a gun oversized for his trembling hands.

“No!” she shrieked, crossing her arms in front of her stomach. Not that her condition was noticeable to anyone yet.

 _Hanbee, Juuzou, someone hear me!_ She swallowed back her guilt. Perhaps freedom didn’t exclude the need for rescue.

 

Saiko pointed at Urie with all her confidence. Not that she really had confidence in herself or her body, but she knew she had to save him. And she could.

“You trained too hard, macho-boy! And look at you now!” Saiko laughed. _Keep his attention_. “Fight fire with fire, macho boys with macho boys, am I right?”

She caught her breath, puffed out her cheeks – and two enormous fists exploded from her back. “See, I’m macho, ha.”

Hsaio caught her breath. In this moment, Saiko was strong, strong and freer than any Quinx she had seen, and freer than Hsaio had ever been in her life.

So she placed as Higemaru’s shield and waited. She waited as Urie dove at Saiko, and her fists responded by toppling the wall beside them.

“Snap out of it, Kuki Urie! You’re our captain, ain’t ya?” Saiko smirked. “Hsaio, wake him up with pain.”

Hsaio didn’t even think or ask what Saiko’s plan was. She bolted towards Urie and stabbed him as Saiko yelled, “Just enough to get his RC cells towards healing!”

His comrades were stabbing him. Urie gagged. “Dammit – fucking Sasaki – Sasaki!”

He’d pushed everything onto him. Urie wasn’t ready to lead. He didn’t deserve promotion or help. He just needed to kill! He was strong!

But Hsaio had already jumped out of range. Urie staggered sideways.

“Stop lashing out on others!” screamed Saiko, striking him just enough to turn him around to face her.

“I am strong – I am strong – I am strong!” Urie howled.

“Look – at – me!”

“Look?!” bellowed Urie, rushing at her.

Hsaio gasped as Urie, her leader, pierced Saiko’s side.

“I’m looking,” Higemaru whispered, mustering every molecule he had to save the situation he had started. “I’ve been looking this whole time. _Saiko loves you_ , Urie.”

Urie froze. Love – love?

A green haired boy with one timid but smiling eye and a pale eyepatch, filled his vision.

Mucchan was scared to lose who he was and everything he had. And he was scared, too. But –

Arms wrapped around him, and a needle slipped into his back.

_Mucchan – my Quinxes – you’ll never lose me._

 

“Haise – Wait – Wait – Ah!” Mutsuki gasped as the wind blew a strange scent into his nostrils.

“Mutsuki.” Shinsanpai Aura’s large figure loomed behind him. His body was stock-still, his eyes afire.

Mutsuki for a moment felt nothing.

Then the wind tickled his bare breasts and he saw where he’d clawed the dead ghoul’s pants halfway down its crotch – only halfway, because maybe he was incompetent. Or did something in him still care?

Aura strode forward. He swiped Mutsuki’s shirt from the earth and thrust it towards him. “I saw nothing.”

His colleague wouldn’t kill him. His aunt worked for CCG. He was safe.

“Here. And I will help you kill that Haise.”

Mutsuki blinked in confusion. Aura seemed sincere. But – how did he feel?

He didn’t.

Aura pointed at the shirt. “Suzuya’s looking for us. We better find him before he sees this.”

Aura tried to emphasize his confidence. Mutsuki moved slowly now, as if weighed down by the planets. This little boy-girl was no threat.

He motioned for his confused friend to follow him.

Haise had betrayed all of them, but especially Mutsuki. If killing Haise meant keeping Mutsuki sane, and by it saving CCG, Aura would delight in killing.

Mutsuki stumbled after Aura. What happened? He could hardly remember – the agony of Haise was fading –

But he did remember. _Stop lying_.

Mutsuki squeezed his eyes shut. He was a monster, and he better embrace it, because everyone knew you didn’t return from necrophilia. Or dismembering cats. Or killing your parents.

Mutsuki opened his eyes again, but he could only see the ground. Thank God Urie and Saiko were not here right now.

 

“You’re pathetic, too. I’m taking you home, Amon!” yelled Seidou.

Their kagunes crossed, one strike down, one strike closer to victory.

“You once scolded me to behave like an investigator, right?” Seidou had to say it. “And now I’m Owl. I’m a ghoul, and so are you!”

_“Don’t eat,” Amon had told him._

_But he’d just given in – and then Kanou had whispered the truth with delight. They were his parents._

_He couldn’t handle this reality. That was when he broke._

_You hurt me, Amon!_

            Seidou blinked back tears. “I’ve already decided how I’m going to live. You – you always burned so bright, but me? I can no longer walk the straight an narrow.”

He’d eaten his parents. He’d ripped the head off a former friend.

“If I could, I would turn back time – I want to be like you, but I can’t anymore.” Seidou stood still and waited for his chance. “I’m a loose cannon. Different from a ticking time bomb, you know. I aim for one thing above all else. The one thing that holds everyone else in place.”

Akira’s smile filled his memory. Amon’s toast to CCG that night they all got toasted. The bond between Touka and Kaneki. Love, he was talking about love. Not for him. But he saw it in them, and it was worth it.

“And I’ll see it through.” Seidou lowered his voice as Amon approached for another strike “Because when your own future’s gone to shit, the only thing left is to live for someone else.”

For Akira, for Amon. For Kaneki and all his friends he hadn’t devoured.

Kurona hurled herself at his kakuja and jabbed the suppressant needle right in his kakuhou.

Amon stumbled, swayed.

“You did it,” breathed Seidou as the ghoul collapsed.

“When I look at you Amon, I…” Seidou slid to the floor in exhaustion. He couldn’t speak anymore. His heart hurt too much.

The last thing he heard was Kurona’s voice. “Good boys.”

 

“Nami?!” Hanbee dashed up. “What the _fuck_ are you doing here?”

He raised Silver Skull warily. She was out of Corniculum - she’d betrayed them – but her face looked indignant, not proud or shameful. And weren’t transgressors usually proud or shameful?

“Corniculum was blown to bits. It was stay in a freed cell or save these guards – they’re the only survivors.” Nami tripped over her words in her desperation to explain fast.

“Because you ate them,” insisted the investigator as familiar faces closed in upon them.

“Then why is she trying to save them?” Suzuya emerged from behind Keijin and pushed the investigator’s gun towards the ground.

Nami’s face shone with relief. “Juuzou…they need help.”

He stared at the mangled bodies. Was it even worthwhile? Neither was conscious, and both were ghastly pale.

She’d risked her life for theirs’. Again.

“Get them to medical.” Suzuya flicked his hand at the investigator and Hanbee.

He and Nami were left staring at each other; both dusty, bloody, and breathless.

 

_Us half-done rejects should get along, shouldn’t we? Us fuck-ups, is what he means._

On their way back to CCG, Ayato and Kaneki struggled to drag Amon’s heavy body, and Kurona had taken her fellow half-ghoul, who was awake but still too drained to speak.

Kurona couldn’t stop glancing at Seidou. _She_ didn’t feel like a fuck-up.

She liked being a ghoul. As much as she hated Kanou, he’d saved her from CCG, from a life of killing ghouls like Seidou without guilt.

Nashiro would be with her, though. A small smile touched Kurona’s lips. Would she give up all her knowledge for Shiro’s chance at life?

She didn’t know.

Maybe that did make her a fuck-up. But not because she was a ghoul. _You better learn soon, Seidou-boy. Or I’ll make you._

Kaneki panted and staggered under Amon’s weight.

“Guess I’m stronger than the king.” Ayato smirked.

Kaneki scraped together a half-smile. Did Ayato think him dangerous for Touka? Would he warn her?

So he was now overly pliant. Typical.

But maybe he could break his path with a joke. Kaneki couldn’t help himself. He shoved Amon towards Ayato.

“Agh!” Ayato nearly dropped Amon’s head on the concrete. “Okay, point taken, One-Eyed.”

He was headed home to Hinami’s smile and his sister’s coffee and his Uncle’s tacit approval. Thrills shot through him.

Kaneki coughed. What if he said more? “I’m ashamed.”

“Uh – what?”

Oh, that was right. Ayato did not emotion well. Kaneki cursed himself.

“Don’t you dare. You didn’t join a terrorist cult,” Ayato ordered. “And hey.” He smiled slyly. “She still welcomed me back.”

 

            “You’re crazy, risking your life to help us again.” Suzuya sat next to Nami – he was entitled to a five-minute break, and he deserved it.

            “I know, but I couldn’t help myself.” Nami shrugged. “Maybe I hoped you’ll be kinder if I do? I don’t know.”

            “You should just be kind to be kind.” Haise was, and Shinohara. Suzuya swallowed. And Nami, he liked to think.

            “What now?” Nami looked at him. “I don’t even know their names.”

            “I can keep you informed, but they looked dead to me,” Suzuya said quietly.

            “It wasn’t for nothing.” Nami shook her head at him. Tears sparkled in her eyes again. “It can’t be. I can’t believe that. Juuzou, what do I do now?”

            Suzuya stood. “For now – because we need help – you can help us clean up. I’m leading, and it’s my call that you’re not a threat. Not now, anyway.”

            He held his hand out to her and lowered his voice. “Did the Rose escape?”

            So he’d trusted her enough to discover the truth. Nami felt more tears arise as she nodded.

She took his hand to stand beside him. These tears were different.


	6. Hold Me Tight at Night

 

**Chapter Six**

**Hold Me Tight at Night**

 

“Going somewhere, lady?”

Kanae whirled around and glowered at the voice behind her. In an attempt to disguise her prison garb, she had taken off her drab gray shirt and tied it around over her breasts like high fashion. No doubt this creep saw an exposed stomach and wanted something.

He rose from the bushes – tall, with a lined face and absurdly casual demeanor for a pervert.

“Listen, schweine, I don’t know you, so I can’t imagine you’re important to me,” Kanae said, taking a step back. She’d really prefer not to slaughter a human directly after escaping prison. Besides, his blood would create a trail.

“I know you,” said the man, crossing his arms. “And where you come from.”

“Germany? Is my accent that thick?” Kanae fluttered her eyelashes.

He held out his hand. “I’m Isuki Marude. Former Special Class Investigator with the CCG.”

Kanae grabbed his wrist instead of his hand, throwing him to the ground. He barely grimaced.

“No, don’t tell me you didn’t foresee such antics from me. Though I do apologize for my manners; I fear prison’s had a terrible affect on me.”

Marude smirked. “No apology necessary, miss.”

Kanae squirmed. She didn’t feel quite like a ‘miss.’

“I’m the reason you escaped just now.”

Kanae dug her fingernails into his flesh. “Are you working with Nimura Furuta?!”

His laugh was nearly a bark. “I’m working against the Washuus, in whatever capacity.”

Marude fell silent long enough for Kanae to hear the distant sirens. “We don’t have long. Where are you going to hide, lady?”

“Even – even if you bombed Corniculum, why would I trust you? You’ve existed to kill my kind, haven’t you?” Kanae pressed her face against his. “You killed my family. All of them, and then hunted me like a dog. And I’ve given my faith to another who promised _freedom_ before, and all I got was needles in my mouth and eyes.”

 _Rose_. Marude hadn’t been counting on that. He’d been waiting for that Washuu mistress to escape, but of course Nami would never do what he wanted. “Rose, I lived my entire life working for ghouls in an anti-ghoul organization. I want to know the truth of this world and discover the real enemy. To do that, I will eliminate the Washuus and lend all my aid to an organization called GOAT.”

“GOAT.” Could he be her savior?

Kanae’s kagune wrapped around his arms, and she lifted him aloft by his collar. “Oh, Mister, I’m on my way there. But you’ll be their prisoner until we can trust you, and if you try anything I will impale you and drink your blood alive. Live blood has a dancing quality to it, quite unlike anything else.”

“I understand,” he croaked.

“There’s one more part to the deal.” Kanae smiled, patting her chest. “You’ll give me your jacket for cover. The air is cool tonight.”

“Yes,” he garbled.

“Well then.” Kanae dropped him to his knees.

“Shall I guide you to GOAT, then?” Marude squeaked, struggling to his feet.

“Yes, but first, your jacket.” She wiggled her fingers.

Marude limped forward, away from the sirens. He’d made this voyage before, another night not long ago.

 

_“Miss! Miss! Are you okay?” A wide-eyed man blocked her path._

_Nami stared at him. No doubt her clothing – or lack thereof – had caught this do-gooder’s attention, but the last thing she really needed was someone else involved._

_“Yes, yes, I’m fine,” she muttered, striding around him. “Please don’t worry.”_

_It’d been two days, and all she’d found was jeans in a dumpster. Not even shoes. She was scared to steal, be caught, and die._

_Souta … No, she oughtn’t think of that. Not yet. She had to focus on help. Surely she’d find another ghoul eventually._

_How was she so ignorant?_

_“I have to,” insisted the man, grabbing for her arm._

_Nami whirled around, her pallid skin even paler. She hated being touched._

_Somehow, this stupid human must have realized that. He backed away, his eyes suddenly nervous._

_Did he suspect? Ha, as if the CCG would result in any more danger. Nami darted around a corner, and another and another, until she was thoroughly lost, the only state she knew._

_The breeze carried the scent of the man behind her._

_“I recognize you.”_

_Nami spun around. “From where?”_

_“You were in Tsuneyoshi’s house.”_

_Nami’s eyes widened. She recalled the CCG party held there two months prior, and the shadowy faces she’d slipped past, but she couldn’t recognize him as much as she willed it._

_He leapt upon her, and she tried to scream, but his hand was clamped over her mouth._

_“Shh, shh. I’m not going to hurt you. I know their secret. So you escaped, then.” The man tilted his head. “Are you hungry?”_

_She shook her head. “I need help more than food.”_

_Relief shone on his face. “Well, if it’s help you’re looking for, word tells me there’s a coffee shop run that basically exists to help those harmed by this ghoul-human war.”_

 

“I’ll brew us coffee,” Touka whispered, pressing Kaneki into a seat. Kaneki, Ayato, Hinami –if she looked away for too long, they might vaporize – that fear slowly dissolved her and always had.

“I’ll help,” Yomo said hoarsely.

“No need.” Nishiki was already grinding coffee beans, but the fire in Touka’s eyes paused him. “Er, if you want.”

Touka took over the grinding. With all these people here, Re felt bright enough to burn her eyes.

“Seidou and Banjou are with her now,” said Kaneki. “And I suspect Naki and Miza will be back soon.”

“Hmm.” Touka eyed him. Silence was the best answer. He would speak when ready.

“Kurona is looking after Amon. She’ll be good. They knew each other at the academy,” Tsukiyama said, unable to stay quiet. He patted Kaneki on the shoulder.

His friend was tenser than he had been at the nadir of depression. “Don’t worry, Kaneki.”

Hinami squeezed Kaneki’s hands, and with a frown, Ayato reached out and grabbed her other hand. She didn’t need more stress.

Her mouth formed a perfect “O,” and in her eyes he found nothing but gratitude.

Someone rapped on the door.

Hinami squeaked and everyone froze save Touka, who sprung over to the window.

“I’ll get this.” Yomo clenched his fists.

“Kaneki, you should hide,” Chie Hori said quickly.

“No need,” said Touka, craning her neck. “Marude. He’s got another woman this time. We can manage this.”

“What if she sees us?” hissed Ayato.

“Maybe she needs help like Nami. Would you rather leave her?” snapped Touka.

She yanked open the door, and everyone sniffed.

A female ghoul stood there, an odd mix of lanky athleticism and delicate features covered in scrubs and an oversized jacket. Unlike Nami, who’d hunched over in an effort to shrink herself, this lady stood tall in a mad scramble for confidence.

“I heard you are friends of Tsukiyama Shuu.”

Kaneki’s pupils dilated as Tsukiyama caught his breath. That accent –

“Please.” She pressed her hands over her heart. “I am his cousin. My name is Karren von Rosewald.”

Tsukiyama wailed so abruptly Kaneki thought his friend was dying.

Then Tsukiyama was tumbling over himself for the door, where he wrapped the girl in an embrace and swung her inside.

“Well then,” said Marude, a smirk on his face.

“How?” he cried, pressing his hands against her face. Oh, it was her – it was really her!

“I thought I killed you,” Kaneki said, squirming.

“Thankfully, Herr Kaneki, you failed.” Karren turned her gaze to him. “I was furrowed away to prison by a sneak in your program – you know him, I believe?”

“Furuta,” whispered Hirako, and Karren nodded as she pushed past Shuu’s arms.

“And I met one Nami in prison – it’s a long story. But I know about you, and GOAT, and I will assist you as best I can, mein König.” Karren knelt before Kaneki.

“Nami? Is she okay?” Hinami demanded.

“How did you escape?” Hirako asked.

“This is beautiful!” Irimi clapped her hands together.

Touka said nothing, but her heart swelled. Life was meaningful, and love was destiny.

“Wait! Wait, wait, wait!” Nishiki waved his arms about to stop the commotion. “Am I the only one who sees what’s happening? Look at this drama queen! We now have two Tsukiyamas!”

Shuu winked at Karren. “Are you not blessed?”

 

“We should keep talking,” Karren whispered, leaning her head against his chest. They’d colonized Kaneki’s favorite the rooftop, to watch the setting moon among the stars.

“It’s 3 am, mon cherie.” Tsukiyama stroked her hair. Oops, more pain flashed in her eyes. “But, anything for you. What else?”

They’d already covered Eto’s torture – Tsukiyama had sputtered with rage before crying – and her imprisonment and escape, during which he’d held her tight.

They’d gushed over Nami together. Shuu refused to believe her dead and shivered with ecstasy at the prospect of a niece or nephew.

Karren had sat rapt as he described his transformation into a knight of GOAT.

And they both knew what came next.

“I – I – you know what I told you,” Karren said, her cheeks pink. “When we were falling.”

“I fell more than physically, then.” Another smile bloomed on his face as Shuu took her hand in his. “Love was right before me, and ah – I did not realize it until too late.”

“Even if I had died, it wouldn’t have been too late. You made me last moments joyous,” she whispered. “Or, at least I thought them my last moments.”

“Still, I thought they _were_ your last. And before that all I did was hurt you.” Shuu’s lips trembled. “I’m a selfish man, Karren. I don’t want to cause you any more pain.”

Karren’s lips fell open. “So you have changed.” The Shuu she’d known was not so introspective.

“Yes.”

“I love you more,” she said, forcing out the words because who knew if she might lose her chance again? God dammit, Shuu was perfect for her.

“No – ma chere rose – you cannot, don’t you see.” Shuu doubled over and heaved back a sob. “I am one who didn’t recognize the love in front of me.”

He pointed around the corner, to where Chie was hiding on the fire escape, his best friend whom he couldn’t understand. And then his hands rested on Karren’s.

“Karren, I cannot let you suffer with a selfish man.”

Karren laughed as tears filled her eyes. “I know who I am, and what I want. I’m Karren von Rosewald, and yet I am Kanae, and I am in love with you and ready to lose it all again.”

“Again? Rose, you deserve better.” Shuu smiled slyly. “Like someone who could buy you roses all the time – and feed you delicacies in the candlelight – and hold you at night –”

“So, you,” called Chie after Kaneki’s affirming nod. For half of GOAT – Naki, Miza, Ayato and Hinami, Touka and Nishiki, Irimi and Enji and Kaneki – were now gathered on the fire escape to spy on the lovers.

“Little mouse, you are not invited to this conversation!”

“You just pointed at me, Tsukiyama! Plus I’m glad she’s alive, and so are you,” declared Chie, moving into the light. “Now kiss!”

“We’re all here, just so you know,” Nishiki called, swallowing the sting in his eyes. This jerk deserved this girl, and he was still without Kimi.

“Everyone?” Tsukiyama sounded all too delighted.

“If it helps…” Touka shoved Kaneki out. She flashed him a grin, and his heart warmed.

Kaneki swallowed the tickle in his throat. “I think you two are a beautiful couple.”

Tsukiyama gasped. “Well, the king has decreed!”

“We all know you love an audience,” Hinami chimed in. “Kiss her!”

“Kiss _him_!” Ayato cried to Kanae, though Touka noticed his longing look towards Hinami.

Shuu swept Karren into his arms and tilted her to rest against his muscular chest. When he smiled at her, she swore she saw diamonds in his eyes.

“I’ve loved you so long!” Karren yanked his dark blue bangs down until his lips were on hers.

Did she deserve to be so happy?

“Ma chere rose,” he murmured against her lips, and she understood even before he added, “mon amour.”

 

A lanky ghoul lingered outside Re, listening to the tears and laughter above while drinking in the scent of coffee.

He’d had fun, but while cracking of human life he’d seen fascinated him, it also ate him alive.

He hadn’t expected the feeling of someone else grabbing him, trying to take his body. And he’dd gotten himself involved for sport. He oughtn’t feel upset, but he did. And Donato Porpora was a poor counselor, so here he was.

The man behind the glistening counter of Re turned around to stare straight at him.

Uta’s heart skipped a beat.

Yomo knew. Except he didn’t know about the hands grabbing him in places only Yomo had ever touched before.

Uta wanted to tell him.

But Yomo knew he was a clown. Yomo knew just how far his fear of being forgotten had driven him.

Uta dissolved back into the darkness, and Yomo had expected nothing less.

 

“Due to the reprehensible clowns’ ambushes, we have lost many, including Matsuri Washii. But now Bureau Chief Washuu will make an announcement about a new organizational system. Listen closely.” With his hand behind his back, Ui stepped off the podium.

His banner seared his chest. But now was not the time to think of Hairu –

Fortunately, Furuta, or Kichimura Washuu, as he had hence declared himself, was wearing a distraction enough to tear Ui’s thoughts from his loss.

His glasses were pink and glittery, with the words PARTY emblazoned above the lenses. A bushy mustache far too light for Furuta’s glossy black hair sat above his lip.

Ui’s mouth dropped. “Uh.”

Voices rose from the golden auditorium below, where the entirety of CCG had assembled.

“What is he wearing?”

“Is he putting on a show?”

“He’s insane! Furuta!”

Suzuya squirmed and exchanged glances with Urie.

Furuta was weird, but so was he. As much as he worried about Nimura Furuta, he didn’t want him judged for ridiculous party glasses.

Besides, Suzuya was too hot in this crowded room to care about anything other than water, and the fact that he hated audiences. Because he remembered being on display all those years ago to a babbling mass.

“What the hell are you doing?” hissed Ui, grabbing him by the arm.

“Today’s a party day,” Furuta replied slyly. “Ahem! This is your bureau chief speaking!”

Urie had to wonder if his promotion was worthwhile for the joke CCG was about to become.

“Today I will introduce a new force in the CCG.” Furuta waved his arms as a gaggle of children ran out.

Urie blanched, and Saiko had to muffle a shriek.

“What?” gasped Ui.

Suzuya felt like vomiting. Like him. Children like him. Used to kill.

 _This was for a purpose. For CCG_. Shinohara was part of CCG.

“These are the Oggai. They’re our new Quinx Squad, ay?” Furuta grinned. “Though there was a lot of objection, the fact that Quinxes have created such outstanding personal as Squad Leader First-Class Urie serves as solid proof of its utility and importance.”

Outstanding? Urie should have been pleased. But he felt numb. Mutsuki had been through worse and achieved more.

Furuta leaned back. “And so I took it upon myself to carry out the will of my predeccor, by taking the Qs project to the next level. They are that next step! _These Oggai_!”

The screaming.

_“Look: my new pet!”_

_And he ran forward, clutching a knife, praying his killing wouldn’t disappoint her._

Suzuya’s throat closed. He was anywhere but here.

“Now allow me to prove their merits.” Furuta adjusted the glasses. The word “party” bounced up and down. “Bring him here!”

There wasn’t much of a scuffle. The prisoner was limp and barely conscious, but that hair –

            Haise Sasaki was thrown before them.

            Urie gasped, and in the audience Saiko started “Ma –”

Hsaio elbowed her before she could finish.

Something was off. He didn’t smell right. Urie stiffened as Suzuya desperately glared at him. _Give me a sign. Is it Haise?_

It wasn’t right. He still had to talk to him, to feel answers.

Suzuya’s breath came quicker and quicker as Furuta chattered on. “Kick him!”

 _Stop_! Suzuya clenched his fists. At least give him a clean death.

But this was a show. The CCG had become the restaurant.

“This heinous traitor must be given peace only in death, as a token of my mercy.” Furuta spread wide his arms. “And these cute little children are our hope!”

A curved dagger raised above Haise.

Ui was sweating through his shirt. He ought to do something, stop this – _someone help me_! He needed courage. _Arima, Hairu, where are you?_

Urie’s face was blank now.

Suzuya swallowed. It wasn’t him. It wasn’t.

But Saiko was crying and Hsaio holding her.

Higemaru tumbled back and forth and fought tears. This traitor’s face looked just like his when Donato had torn him apart! Why was this okay; why didn’t he understand? Why was he a toy again?

Mutsuki looked numb.

 _Don’t you care_? Urie wondered. What was happening to Mutsuki – he seemed so lost and alone.

Aura grinned.

 _Out of my squad, fuckboy_. Urie growled.

The knife swung down.

And as blood splattered on their boots, Furuta screamed. “ _Our objective is the complete cleansing of Tokyo! The utter annihilation of ghouls! Please lend me your power – it’s time to strike back_!!!”

Suzuya now knew what death felt like. Numb. Alone. Shinohara was dead, as was CCG and he.

 

“Do you know what I am thinking, Kuki Urie?”

“I never do.” Urie eyed Suzuya as the small man trotted along beside him. The sunset was beautiful, but all he tasted was smog.

Suzuya stopped. “Was that really Haise?”

Urie stared straight into the sun. “Do you think it was?”

“At first, I did…”

“Then it was,” Urie cut in.

“You seem so emotionless, but I know you didn’t hate him.” Suzuya spiraled in front of him. “I was horrified. And people tell me _I’m_ emotionless.”

“Why are you talking about this? Someone died, isn’t that enough?” Urie glared down.

“No,” Suzuya said with that same queer smile. “Because our leader is crazy.”

“What are you thinking?” Urie felt cold. Open revolution? Assassination? Locking Furuta – he would never be a Washuu, because to his eternal relief, the Washuus were dead – in an asylum?

“It’s not safe for Nami.”

Urie lowered his brow. “Nami?”

“We’re in a great position to find out more about ghouls. And she wants to help us!” Suzuya bopped up and down.

_Oh. I see._

“But I’m scared for her. I see how the nurses and guards treat her – that surviving guard wouldn’t even thank her – and if Furuta is unhinged –”

“Stop.” Urie held up a hand. “You want to help her because you like her, don’t you?”

Suzuya seemed confused. “For a – for a ghoul – she’s not bad.”

“Yeah, well, that’s what we thought about Haise.” Urie wrapped his arms around himself.

“But Furuta is human,” said Suzuya softly.

Urie forced a laugh. “Sometimes I wonder.”

“Really?” Suzuya gasped.

“Sarcasm, kid, sarcasm.” Urie nodded. “But there are some back channels we can follow –”

“If two squad leaders think a superior is unfit to make a decision –”

“Technically, it’s _unfit_ , period, not unfit for one decision.” Urie tapped his chin. “It could work, though. But, God dammit, Suzuya, this means I’ll have to go through Takeomi.”

Suzuya beamed. “Maybe if you’re nice he’ll invite you to their wedding. I heard there will be cake!”

Urie’s face purpled. _Wedding_. He ought to marry before that dolt. Who’d be fit?

Was it appropriate for a first-class investigator to fall on one knee for his Squad member?

Urie felt a pang. First class investigator? _Mutsuki – Mutsuki with his beautiful, blank face – deserved this more than me_.

 

“Really, Takeomi?” Mutsuki crossed his arms.

He envied Kuriowa Takeomi such a small, stuffy office. A safe office.

“Do me a favor, _please_ , and I’ll open the girl’s cell for you. I mean, it’s for Yoriko, Mutsuki. If you loved someone, wouldn’t you make any deal necessary to save them?” The young investigator clasped his hands before him.

 _No, I would kill them,_ thought Mutsuki. But maybe – he might as well try to be the best person he could be. If he was damned, he could still try one more act of good.

“Perfect.” Takeomi sat behind his desk. “I’ll mess with the records and cameras in two hours. Tell First-Class Urie he’ll have twenty minutes to smuggle her out. But be forewarned –”

Mutsuki waited.

“If she kills anyone I’ll have all of you executed by Oggai.”

 _You actually like that_? Mutsuki scowled. _You’re just as bad._

Unless it was an act. If any man understood facades, he was Mutsuki.

 

“Thank you for bringing me here.” Nami slowly turned around and around, taking in his small but sunny apartment. White countertops and white walls and white doors – everything was light in here. “You didn’t have to. I know I’m…your enemy carrying more enemies.”

“It’s what Mr. Shinohara would have done.” Suzuya stared through the tiled floor, to wherever Shinohara’s soul resided.

Nami’s fingers brushed his shoulder. He didn’t hate her or see her as an enemy. With him, it was almost as if she was his job, and even if that wasn’t a quite person, she’d never been more than a possession to anyone before. Who was this Shinohara she kept hearing about? “Tell me about him. If you don’t mind.”

Suzuya caught her hand. “He…was my partner.”

Nami waited.

“He was kind,” Suzuya said loudly. “He didn’t hate me. He told me he would miss me if I died.”

Nami gasped. “Everyone would miss you, Juuzou.”

“No, they wouldn’t. I’m…I don’t fit.” Suzuya pulled up his sleeve and held out his arm.

Nami peered at the cross-stitch pattern. “Do you do this yourself?”

“Yes,” Suzuya kept his eyes on the floor. “I used to like hurting myself. Marking myself as a danger, because everyone else already did.”

“Why would they?” Nami traced the red threads. “I think it’s beautiful.” She smiled. Her face was so close to him Suzuya felt nervous and couldn’t figure why.

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Okay.” Nami nodded. “Well then, can you stitch my arm?”

“Really?” Suzuya blinked.

“Yes, really.”

“I’ll get thread!” Suzya darted towards his bathroom. “By the way, does that couch work for you? Hanbee said I should ask. It’s tiny but so are you.”

Nami plopped down on the threadbare couch. “It’s perfect.”

 

_“I’m disappointed. You’ve been a bad boy.” Shinohara glowered at Suzuya. Behind him sat Nami; the restaurant patrons screamed for her blood around him._

_His heart quivered and he fell to his knees. “No!”_

_“I’ll never be your Father.” Shinohara wore the same disgust of most CCG agents, along with the rage of Madam._

_“Wait!” Suzuya scrambled after him, but his feet moved too slow, too surreal. “I’ll change! I’ll ch-change!”_

“Juuzou!” Hands clamped upon his shoulders.

“No!” Suzuya cried, his eyes popping open.

Nami gaped down at him. “Juuzou.”

Her fingers were cross-stitched. He’d done that a few hours ago. He was home.

It wasn’t real. Shinohara didn’t hate him. He wasn’t a disappointment.

But the pain lingered like the dampness on his cheeks and the pounding of his heart.

Suzuya bent over and began crying again – mouth open, nose running.

“Shh. Shhh.” Nami sat across from him and rubbed his back. “It’s okay. You’re safe.”

Suzuya choked on brine and flung his arms around her.

“You’re okay. You’re okay,” Nami repeated, using her hair to shield him from the emptiness of his dark room.

She rocked him back and forth like a child as he sobbed, her heart beating against his to remind him of life. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

“M-maybe tomorrow. I should sleep,” he mumbled.

“Okay.” Despite the dark, he saw her reassuring smile.

“Don’t leave me.”

“I won’t,” she promised, laying him back on the bed and tucking his blankets around him just so.

She snuggled beside him, her arms continually wrapped around him. And in her arms – Nami’s arms – a ghoul’s arms, but Nami’s nonetheless – Suzuya felt safe again.


	7. Stitches

**Chapter Seven**

**Stitches**

 

Suzuya awoke to gurgling noises from his bathroom. Lightning reverberated through his nerves and he flailed about under his warm sheets –

but wait –

he knew who was here. He could calm down.

SWith a shiver, Suzuya slipped his feet in slippers and padded to the bathroom, where he found Nami struggling to keep her hair back from his toilet.

“Ah – I’m sorry,” she gasped, wiping her running eyes.

“What happened?”

“I tried – eating myself again.” Nami held out her left arm, where flesh was creeping back upon her serrated forearm flesh.

As fascinated as he was, Suzuya noted she’d avoided disturbing the stitches on her right arm. He had to smile at that.

Nami tried not to panic. She was just – hormonal – and angry that she’d wasted her own flesh. Soon she’d be able to stomach it again. She had to. If she didn’t – oh God –

“Let me help you up.” Suzuya pulled her to her feet and flushed the toilet. He didn’t even flinch at the chunks of flesh and blood swirling below.

“Thank you.” Nami realized she was leaning against him.

“Were you hungry? I thought you ate yesterday.”

“No, I just wanted to make sure I still could eat and heal at a useful rate,” Nami admitted. Her hands shook.

Suzuya saw the panic in her eyes. “Um, can you?”

“Not now.” Nami’s lips trembled. “I’m sure it’s just the morning sickness – I’m sure it’ll be fine in a few weeks. I’m not a danger, I promise.”

Suzuya’s mouth parted slightly. “I didn’t think you were.”

Nami chuckled. “You’re so weird, Juuzou!”

Suzuya felt as if he were in a falling elevator.

“I mean it good, I swear. You’re different and perfect for it.” Nami wiped her eyes and leant close to him, as if her sincerity could atone for her blunder.

“Everyone says I’m weird,” he said softly.

“It’s your greatest trait.”

“I don’t want to be disliked.”

“You aren’t by me,” she said, scuffing her shoes against the tiled floor. “I’m fond of you, Juuzou Suzuya. And I’m sorry if I upset you.”

Nami smirked. “If I had to be arrested by anyone, I would have chosen you.”

Suzuya giggled. Their eyes met, each full of secrets and curiosity and fearful friendship.

Nami broke the silence. “Do you want to talk about last night?”

“I should get to work,” Suzuya said uncertainly.

“Oh.”

“I’ll tell you tonight!” Suzuya shook her hand so fast her teeth rattled. He smiled again at her, and she realized he was weird, just weird. He hadn’t intended to dodge her questions.

She liked this weirdness.

“Don’t run away,” he sang.

“Isn’t that Keijin guarding me just beyond the door anyway?” Nami rolled her eyes and shoved him towards the door. “No, wait, you’re still wearing slippers!”

 

Akira sat in her room, watching the afternoon sunlight filter through, though she wouldn’t sit in its warmth.

Touka was almost…a friend. As if they could be friends, if she just let herself.

_Dad, am I betraying you?_

Akira lifted her face to the ceiling. _But you betrayed me too, didn’t you? You told me ghouls were evil._

But Hinami had hugged her. A child with bravery and forgiveness she didn’t have.

And Touka had owned her sins.

Could she? Had she even sinned?

Akira buried her face in her hands. She’d never let anyone see her doubts, because she’d buried them long ago. And now they were back, eating at her worse than a ghoul.

            _Amon, what do you think_?

            She was awake after weeks unconscious. She ought to be enthusiastic, but all she felt was misery.

Akira drew a shaky gasp for air. Not a sob. Surely she was older than that.

Everything she’d had was lost.

She needed to talk to him.

 

            Koori Ui had assumed the new bureau chief’s party glasses and use of child ghouls was surely the nadir of his beloved organization.

“It’s my pleasure to serve the Commission of Counter Ghoul.” The doctor’s skin stretched tight over his face – as if instead of wrinkling, his skin had simply shrunk with age. His smile was odious.

            He’d been wrong. Tears of shame pricked Ui’s eyes. This was a _joke_. A corrupt mad scientist was now a primary employee? And of all corrupt mad scientists, _Kanou_ , the one who’d started these hideous Quinxes in the first place?

            “Well? Do you think I made a good choice?” Furuta challenged as the doctor strode out of earshot. He tapped his fingers on Ui’s shoulders and grinned maniacally.

            “The Oggai. They’re children, sir. We can’t practice something so unethical,” Ui said, fighting to control his temper.

            “Oh, no?” Furuta wiggled his eyebrows.

            “Sir, Kanou is a monster.”

            “We fight the monsters, Special Class Ui, and Kanou will help us.” Furuta waved to the doctor as he passed the end of the hallway. He didn’t seem to notice, and Furuta didn’t seem to care.

            “Enough of your shit!” cried Ui. He could only hope such language would capture Furuta’s attention – it wasn’t every day he swore, after all.

All Furuta saw was that Koori Ui might need a little more, hmm, motivation. Such a silly, boring fellow.

“First your crazy performance, then you bring Dr. Kanou – the Kanou who worked with Aogiri Tree – _here_?!”

            “Kanou was kidnapped by Aogiri, so how could he refuse?” asked Furuta with a wave of his hand. He didn’t seem to care whether Ui believed him, or even whether it true. “Stop complaining. You stand to gain?”

            “Me?” Ui scoffed. He could never accept a bribe!

            “Follow me.” Furuta took Ui by the arm, his eyes glimmering.

And so Ui was guided him back to his chief’s office, past employees mulling about everyday tasks, as if a madman hadn’t taken over. Ui’s fury boiled with each step.

Urie. He could trust a Quinx if he had to. At least Urie cared about CCG, even if he’d disgraced himself by becoming half the enemy.

No, Takeomi. Takeomi was noble and one-hundred-percent human. Takeomi would help him.

            “Ghouls have an unusual life force, you know. Remember Noro? We have to learn about our enemies, and Kanou knows more than anyone,” prattled Furuta.

            “That has nothing to do with me – the Quinx Squad themselves are unethical,” spat Ui. He could hardly see straight.

            “Nonsense!” Furuta thrust open his office door and shoved Ui into the dark room. He dove forward and pressed beeping buttons while Ui flicked on the light switch like a proper human.

“Look what I took back for you!” Furuta swung open the safe and held a glass chamber aloft.

Vomit rose in Ui’s throat.

Her head bobbed there, staring back with an eerie smile. Preserved. She hadn’t rotted away.

But she couldn’t see him. Feel him.

“Hairu?”

Ui felt sweat break upon his forehead. Why?

And then Furuta said everything he’d cursed his dreams for. “What if she were to come back to life, eh?”

“We have her body, too.” Furuta smiled at Ui, who understood exactly what Furuta knew.

Furuta knew that Ui had broken his moral code for her. For Hairu. That he’d spent night after night entwined with all of her – body, mind, and soul.

_“I love you.” Hairu’s sweet face hovered above him, nibbling the end of his nose._

“How about them ethics?” sneered Furuta, his face inches from Ui’s. Light danced in the director’s dark eyes, a lie from the universe.

Hairu – she wouldn’t want this.

But he did.

But if he didn’t, everyone would know and the dead didn’t deserve a scandal.

Ui’s gaze remained plastered over floor, but he found himself nodding.

 

            “See you later, Mizorou.” Nami waved at her new friend as Suzuya strolled in the door.

            “Chess?” He frowned.

“It’s so much fun,” she said eagerly. “My friend Souta and I used to play when we were bored children. I rather think he just liked playing with me because he would always win.”

Souta had never played with Rize; she’d cherished her spot as his chess partner. But now she had to acknowledge he’d never played Rize because Rize would have demolished him.

“It was Mr. Shinohara’s favorite game. That’s his set,” said Suzuya. His wife had brought it to him as a housewarming gift. It was the only possession he cared about more than Jason.

Nami used the queen to knock the king back into the box. “How’s the search for me?”

“Urie’s given a few misdirections. But the Oggai are more distracting than one lost ghoul.” Suzuya sighed.

Nami looked as sad as he felt. Not even all ghouls, then, believed in using children for war.

“If you tell me about your nightmare, I’ll tell you the woman in Hisen’s photograph,” she said thickly, covering the chess box. Now that she wasn’t exactly imprisoned, perhaps Juuzou could help her quest.

            “I was going to anyways.” Suzuya sank into the couch, across from her.

            “I know, but I feel I should trade information.” Nami took a deep breath. “Her name was Rize. She was his sister…the first Rize. Her daughter was also Rize, the same Rize whose kagune was translated into Kaneki Ken.”

            “Kaneki! Do you know where Kaneki is?” Suzuya sat up straight.

            Nami shook her head. She had to lie. “I went to Hisen…because, because…I knew Rize. When we were children. We were raised together. It doesn’t matter where anymore.”

            Suzuya furrowed his brow. “Why did you talk to Hisen, then?”

            “I wanted to get in touch with my past,” Nami said, avoiding his eyes. “To close that chapter, so to speak.”

            She was an obvious liar. Suzuya wished he knew why. She wanted to run from her past, whatever it was and whoever had hurt her, whomever her lover had been.

            Was she working with GOAT? Suzuya wished he didn’t have to entertain such suspicions. Perhaps truth would move her.

            “Were you familiar with the ghoul restaurant?”

            “I’ve heard of it. It sounds awful,” Nami said, sincere again.

            “When I was little, I served a ghoul named Big Madam. I don’t remember life before her.”

            Nami remembered the name. The Garden had rejoiced when a liability like Big Madam had been slain.

            “She raised me to hurt people,” Suzuya said, rocking back and forth, and he wasn’t sure why his voice cracked. “I was her scrapper pet, and the more creatively I slaughtered each dinner, the more she liked me. She liked hurting me especially.”

Nami’s mouth hung open, and she barely breathed. No, not Juuzou.

Suzuya stopped rocking to rub his arms up and down as he stared at his lap. “She even – she made sure I’d be a little girl forever. That’s why I’m small and weird.”

            Nami choked. She knew what his nightmare was about now. He didn’t need to explain.

            “She _hurt_ me. Mr. Shinohara rescued me.” Suzuya doubled over.

            “Juuzou,” Nami whispered, sliding close to him. “I am so sorry.”

            “It’s okay.”

            “No, it isn’t. You didn’t deserve that.” Nami, oh, she knew what it was like to be someone else’s toy. Her fingers balled into fists. Tears streamed down her cheeks. “I see why you believe in CCG.”

            Suzuya gaped at her. But he didn’t.

            “I don’t blame you.” Nami pulled him to her. Her arms were warm and comforting.

            “Why are you crying?” He thought he knew, but he needed to ascertain.

            “Because you’re kind and good and lovely and you deserved so much better. I _care_ about you.” Nami sniffled. “I didn’t mean to hurt you earlier, but I know I did, and I’m so sorry. How – how dare she! And how dare anyone hurt you!”

            Suzuya wished, for a moment, that she were part of his squad. His family.

Nami drew back, heart pounding. “The truth is, I know what it’s like to live as someone’s pet.”

            Suzuya’s lips parted, and though a thousand questions bloomed, he waited for her to speak. Just as Mr. Shinohara had demonstrated.

 

“Knew I’d find you out here.” Ayato sauntered through the park as evening fell. The children were long gone, back with their foster father. Safe and probably eating the most exotic meat Mirumo Tsukiyama could scavenge.

Hinami sat motionless on the swings.

“What’s wrong?”

“I did it,” she whispered, turning her face to his. “I met Akira. And I hugged her, because it was the last thing I wanted to do.”

Ayato sat on the adjacent swing. “What did you want to do?”  
            “Run away.”

A normal ghoul would have said _kill_. Ayato smirked at his special, special friend. “Well, I’m glad you didn’t.”

“Me too.” Hinami swallowed and brushed a strand of light brown hair out of her eyes. “Do you think Mom would be proud of me?”

“I didn’t know her,” he said.

Hinami frowned.

Had he sounded cold? What was he supposed to say? Ayato’s palms were sweating. “Ah – I think – ahem – from what I know, your parents believed in peace. So yeah, they must be.”

“Can they see me?” She smiled at him as the moon rose above the trees, a perfect orb of white gold.

Ayato grabbed the chain to her swing and pulled her close. “I like to think my dad can see me. And that my mom is beside me when I’m scared for my life. Which is, uh, more often than she’d approve, no doubt.”

Hinami laughed at his sheepish face. Ayato was fire. He provided warmth and courage and a loyalty she couldn’t quite believe in, because she knew what it meant. “Why just your mom?”

“Because I’m still angry with Dad for leaving. Even if – I did the same thing to Touka. Leaving for revenge.”

“You didn’t leave me.” Hinami raised an eyebrow. “And you came back. Seems you’re learning.”

Ayato grasped her hands in his. “Even – even if Kaneki fails and we’re never at peace or if we die tomorrow – I’m really glad to know you, Hinami Fueguchi.”

“Then kiss me.”

Ayato started. How could she – were all his hopes reality – they’d never been before –

He scrunched his eyes shut and leant in. Hinami kept her gaze on him and waited as his lips brushed hers.

She grabbed him and pulled him closer in an embrace. “You’re so gentle.”

“I – I don’t know how to kiss,” he stammered.

“Neither do I.” Hinami beamed at him. “I loved it.”

 

“I’m a bred ghoul,” Nami repeated, shoving her fists into her lap.

“What does that mean?” Suzuya crossed his legs like a child.

“You were trained to kill for entertainment; I was trained to do one thing, too. Scientists concocted me in a _vial,_ ” Nami swallowed, “to train me to breed pureblooded, strong children for the head ghouls.”

For a moment, she was being wrestled onto a canopy bed and positioned just so.

_Oh, show some enthusiasm. You have a beautiful body._

Nami faded out. Her hand touched her stomach, which was just slightly thicker than normal. Most people wouldn’t notice, but Suzuya did, and it brought a smile to his face.

“This was my first mission. Then I would have gone to the head’s son, probably. And then back to the – the head. I don’t know. I don’t care to picture it.”

Suzuya knew he should ask who the head ghoul was. Nami was important, much more than he’d suspected.

But she wore the same dazed look he’d worn when Shinohara found him, sitting in an emptied arena. The look of someone too lost to run or cry. He sat frozen.

“I was nothing more than a beautiful machine to incubate their numbers.” Nami’s voice rose, and she wanted tears so much, but they wouldn’t come. “Maybe I still am!”

“I don’t think you’re a machine. I think you’re nice,” said Suzuya. _A nice person._

_She was a person, just like Haise Sasaki and Kaneki Ken._

_And she hadn’t wanted any of it, no more than he had._

Just like Madam had chosen he’d be a girl, they’d chosen she’d be a woman.

Suzuya pushed back his awakening and refocused on her. Urie might kill him for this, but hey, he was the new Arima, right, and he could ask what he wanted. “Do you want it?”

Nami’s eyes widened. Her baby.

He was giving her a choice. She didn’t have to breed for anyone – CCG or the Washuus.

“You’re not asking after the head ghouls?” She scrunched up her face. Tears finally arrive, weak but present. “They’re dead, but, ah, you don’t think I’m nothing?”

Dead? Interesting…

“No…”

Nami threw her arms around him, and to his surprise, he buried his face in her hair.

“I want this kid, Juuzou. For me. And my baby won’t be a pawn.” Perhaps it was selfish, but she had to hope that maybe, in raising a life, she could find her own.

At least she had a choice.

 

“I’m going for curry. You should come too. Even ghoul countermeasure violators deserve curry, right?”

Akira winced. Amon looked stunned, like he’d been hit over the head with a quinque.

Time to try again. “Okay, I guess that was pretty sarcastic of me. You like sweets, right?”

Blush spread across Amon’s cheeks. “Yes.”

Akira doubled over, giggling and giggling until she thought she would burst. Amon slowly approached her.

She straightened and whispered, “All the structures in this world I’ve believed in are becoming undone. And the longer I live, the more the world ties me down.”

Damn, she was supposed to wait until they were eating. But why wait and waste hot food? She remained efficient as ever, and that hurt even more, because she had nothing to be efficient for.

But Amon just waited.

“I met ghouls today. And I didn’t think of them as my enemies.” Akira blinked back tears. “Amon, you always knew what you were doing. Do you still know what we were fighting for?”

Her voice shook. “There’s no hatred left. I don’t know where to go.”

“Where do you want to go?” Amon asked softly, reaching a hand out but not quite touching her. “Akira, it’s ended, but you can go anywhere from here. We’re alive.”

“Easy words,” Akira countered. “Are we alive when we’re empty?”

“Then feel that emptiness.” Amon closed his eyes. “When Donato was done in and I entered the academy, I had nothing but hatred and rage. And then it left when – when I become a science experiment. And all I felt was hollow. But then I realized –”

He felt Scarecrow’s fingers pulling him towards freedom, saw Seidou’s rage tapering, gazed into the Eyepatch he finally understood.

“Not everything is gone.” Amon mustered a half-smile. “Emptiness itself is a thing, right? If you want to look at it, it’s terrifying and agonizing, but it’ll answer you. You’ll learn what you want in life. And I’ll…I’ll be there for you.”

Did she remember, when she’d almost kissed him? Did she know how he’d sobbed remembering in his cell, because he didn’t know if it was better to have not given her hope before disappearing, yet pitying himself for never tasting her.

“I can’t. I’m scared.” Akira bit her lip. Yes, she was scared, but she admitted so when she never had before. Did he notice?

Her heart raced. She rose to her tiptoes. “Don’t dodge this time.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.” Amon wrapped his arms around her and lifted her lips to his.

He opened his mouth and tasted her tongue and salty tears. “Do you know how long I’ve needed this?”

“Don’t leave me again.”

“Never.” Amon’s breath tickled her ear. “Do you want curry now?”

“Is your sweet craving satisfied?”

“No.” He kissed her again.

Around the corner, two figures slipped between a pile of precariously positioned trash cans.

Kurona shoved Seidou forward. “Look: I told you! Are you happy now?”

“I’m glad for them,” the pallid ghoul said, blinking in surprise. He envied their passion. But even he found something warm and comforting about their embrace.

“Good.” Kurona smiled nervously at him, and Seidou frowned. She seemed to care about him, and he wasn’t sure he liked that.

“We should let them be.” Seidou stepped directly into the trash cans, which clattered around them in a marvelous display that would have made Tsukiyama seem quiet.

“What was that?” Akira gasped.

“Time to go, Seidou.” Kurona grabbed his hand and yanked him after her, knocking over another can in the process.

“Where are we going? They’re going to be worried!”

“We’re having fun watching them have fun and doing nothing for an afternoon, that’s what,” Kurona shot back.

“But we’re making a mess!”

“We’ll clean it up later, idiot!” Shiro had helped her after losing their parents; she could help him after losing his humanity. She knew she could.

 

“I got it!” Chie dashed towards Kaneki as soon as he entered Re’s backdoor.

“Whoa, slow down, little mouse,” Tsukiyama said with a laugh, grabbing her away from smacking into Kaneki’s stomach.

“Is she okay?” Karren demanded from the counter she’d been sharing with Touka.

“Nami?” Kaneki frowned.

“Yes and yes, but the reports say she escaped yesterday,” said Chie.

“Yesterday?” Kaneki frowned. On one hand, Nami was alive. On the other, why hadn’t she returned? Had he failed to inspire her?

“She has her own demons to destroy,” Karren said quietly as Tsukiyama gave him an unwanted-but-appreciated hug.

Touka. Touka had asked for him. Kaneki saw her smile nervously at him, holding out a coffee.

Exchanging smiles, Tsukiyama, Karren, and Chie filed out.

 

 _Ah._ Here was the school address.

“What are you up to?” Saiko’s voice interrupted his flow of thoughts. She tried to sound cheery around Mucchan, but he seemed so bleak and lost to her. Hsaio had said to leave him be, but she _needed_ him to be okay. He was family.

“Nothing,” he said, shoving the stack of schooling records away.

“Mucchan…”

“What?”

“Do you want to talk?” Saiko asked helplessly.

“Me? I mean, sure. About what?” Mutsuki clasped his hands in front of him.

“You seem so unhappy.”

His eyes widened. He hadn’t expected that one. Criticism for his aloofness, an accusation of cruelty, an announcement of his arrest, perhaps. “I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not. You haven’t been since Rushima.”

Mutsuki’s eyes glazed over. He was limbless again, being fucked by Torso – and he hadn’t fought back. “I was kidnapped, Saiko. I will be okay, but it was a mite upsetting, you know?”

Saiko felt tears prick her eyes. _Open up, Mutsuki_! “Okay…but let me know if you need to talk or a hug or ice cream , or anything at all.”

“I will.” Mutsuki forced a smile. He felt so hazy and empty as he brushed past her, as he traveled to the 20th Ward High School and retrieved a copy of Touka Kirishima’s school ID photo.

And then he found himself staring at her – her! – and spinning around and spinning around, crouching in an alley after dark like a prostitute or an animal, feasting on dead flesh again.


	8. Reckoning

**Chapter Eight**

**Reckoning**

**Content warning: self-harm.**

 

The coffee shop was smartly decorated with soothing, cheery colors. If a building could be friendly, Mutsuki imagined this was it.

And it was run by one Touka Kirishima, friend of Yoriko Kosaka, a 20-year-old who’d fled the 20th ward four years ago.

Maybe she felt responsible for the imposter Owl’s demise and had erected this shop in memory to the human she’d thought he was. Or maybe she’d witnessed too much bloodshed. Either way, Mutsuki felt for her.

And it held his worst enemy, a pretty blueheaded vixen.

What a coincidence. Mutsuki shivered. His kagune tensed, ready to emerge. Hell, he’d eaten a man just before this to prepare.

He was strong. He could kill the woman Haise loved and save him from her clutches like a strong, manly hero.

 

A mountain of bodies flooded the street, with torsos and limbs speared around a grinning Furuta. The crowd, freed from the ghoul oppression they’d barely noticed, pressed in further, closer to the bloody carcasses.

Higemaru choked on his breath. Hsaio drew Saiko to her side before the blue-haired girl released her whimpers.

“This is madness,” Urie said aloud.

Saiko straightened. Urie had voiced dissent? Then she would press. “I’m scared.”

“I think we all should be.” Urie had to wonder what Furuta would do if he knew he’d broken his fifth frame. He’d be torn apart like these unfortunate ghouls.

The Oggai waved heads with smiling faces, crying faces, screaming faces, all dead faces, and the crowd cheered.

Furuta stepped forward, and the teenage girls in front squealed with excitement. “Welcome to our peaceful world!”

“People are celebrating.” Saiko’s voice broke.

“They’re celebrating freedom from ghouls,” Aura objected.

Urie glanced around them. He didn’t blame Mutsuki for refusing to come, but he really, really needed him here. To make sure he was safe.

“We should all be celebrating,” said Aura.

Urie’s eyes flashed. Oh. _Oh_. That was it. “All right, fuckboy.”

Aura was the taller of the two, but Urie was stronger. He wrenched the gangly man into the nearest alley with hardly a fuss.

Saiko, Hsaio, and Higemaru filed behind them, forming a barricade from view.

Urie hurled Aura into the concrete building. “You don’t think that once all ghouls are exterminated, we half-ghouls will be next?!”

“We’re _Quinxes_ ,” Aura said, gripping his bleeding head. _Shit_.

“Fat difference,” said Saiko. Behind her, Hsaio’s eyes shone queerly.

“If you don’t think that display won’t be us and those children in a few months, you’re a dunce who should never have become a member of my squad,” snapped Urie.

“Your squad?” Aura scowled. “ _Your_ squad?”

“Since Haise left, yes, it is.”

“Haise, the traitor you all mysteriously love, who’s left my aunt _in a coma_ ,” seethed Aura, clenching his fists.

“That’s it, then?” demanded Hsaio. “You’re letting your mommy issues divide us?”

“We’re your family, too,” said Saiko.

“Are you?” scoffed Aura.

“Yes,” said Higemaru weakly.

“Then why isn’t Mutsuki here?”

“He’s off investigating that girl for Takeomi. He found her, did you know? At a coffee shop in the 16th ward,” said Saiko.

And like a joke, Urie’s phone buzzed as Furuta’s voice carried over. “Uncovering several GOAT hideouts!”

A message from Suzuya. _Hideouts in 9 th, 10th, and 16th wards_.

“The 16th ward, you say?” Urie demanded.

“You can’t think Yoriko’s friend is a ghoul,” objected Saiko, staring at her own phone.

“I don’t care what she is. I can’t have a member of our family caught unaware. Come on, all of you.” Urie glared at Aura. “You too, fuckboy.”

Aura scowled, but he found himself taking Higemaru’s outstretched hand nevertheless.

 

“What did you want to talk about?” Kaneki swallowed back his fear. _She hates me._

Touka had been waiting for this conversation, but she’d never quite pinpointed how to begin. “Are you a virgin?”

Kaneki’s hand slipped, and coffee fell in a graceful waterfall to the floor.

“Uh – make sure you clean it up,” Touka said quickly, sucking in a deep breath. Not a good start. Cover with coffee. Yes.

“R – right.” Kaneki lapped up the remaining coffee – caffeine for courage! _Banjou, Ayato even, save me! Hell, Furuta, where are you? This is your sort of conversation, isn’t it?_

“You look like a dead man,” Touka tried again. Gee, she was less graceful than spilled coffee. _Keep going. Say everything_. “You know you’re the only one who thinks the world would be better if you were gone, right?”

Kaneki stared at her. _That’s because I know myself better than you all_.

“I’ll let you, you know.”

“What?” Kaneki was thoroughly confused. Sleep with her? Or die? Or both? Huh? Huh?

“But I need to say something. Why are you always bringing Nishiki and Tsukiyama with you, but not me?” she demanded. _In case you’re forgotten, I beat them both_.

Kaneki smiled back. “Do you remember? When Ryoko was killed and you fought the investigators, and I found you injured?”

“Yes?”

“I said then I’d be sad if you died.” Kaneki closed his eyes. The past shimmered before him, as if he could touch it. “Back then, all I wanted was the strength to protect all of you. But when Hinami vanished, and when we fought Tsukiyama, I kept finding myself looking at your back. When I was captured by Aogiri, you suffered a lot to save me. And I…I was so worried…I don’t want a world without you, Touka.”

Touka’s lips parted. “Kaneki, you’re the one trying to disappear.”

Kaneki cleared his throat. “Did you ask me these questions for a reason?”

“Ah.” Touka smiled then. “When you were an investigator, you kept frequenting Re. You’d pretend to read, too, but your eyes…they’d follow me. With the same kind of eyes you looked at Rize.”

“Oh.” Kaneki cringed. “Haise. I’m such an idiot.”

“I think I’m more the idiot. For being so happy about it.” Touka couldn’t look at Kaneki now. _I love you_.

“KANEKI!” Tsukiyama burst through the door, Karren on his heels. “CCG knows where we are!”

 

“You have GOAT?” Nami peered over a sitting Hanbee’s shoulder to read the message on his phone.

“Ah – uh – you’re not supposed to read these,” he stammered, shoving the phone in his pockets.

“I don’t care.” Nami rubbed her stomach as fear boiled inside her.

“You seem upset.”

“Why shouldn’t I be? Your director is a madman, and at least GOAT defies him.”

“We defied him for you.”

Nami bit her lip. “Maybe I’m selfish, but why is that enough?”

“I feel like you should have more respect,” Hanbee said nervously. He didn’t disagree, but he didn’t _know_ how to act on his own. He rarely did.

“You’re still scared of me, aren’t you?”

“Only s-sometimes.”

Her eyes twinkled. “You’re twice my size, Mr. Hanbee.”

He shrugged. “But you’re around Suzuya’s size.”

Nami’s mouth opened. “Are you afraid I’ll hurt him?”

“He cares about you,” Hanbee said evasively. “If you hurt anyone, you’ll hurt him.”

“Then I won’t,” Nami promised, her eyes wide. Care? Could anyone care about a breeding ghoul?

“He’s even searching for your friend for you.”

“Rize?” Nami breathed. Rize wasn’t quite a friend, but she felt bound to her. She had to rescue her.

“That’s the one.”

“Wouldn’t he kill her? What kind of present is that?” Nami clenched her fist.

“I don’t know,” Hanbee said softly. “At least you’d know.”

Nami eyed him. “I think he wouldn’t kill her. You’re trying to pretend he would to cover for him. Because he’s supposed to.”

Hanbee turned his face away.

 

Tokyo bustled about like any other evening, but Kaya remembered the smell of dread. But one person stood out, casually leaning against the front of the dry cleaners across the street.

She laid a hand on Koma’s arm. “Is that…”

Enji sucked in his breath. “Eyepatch.”

The green-haired investigator tilted his head, returning their gaze with one eye.

“He knows,” Kaya said, clutching her parcels to her chest.

“We can –”

“No.” Kaya wrapped her arm around Koma’s. “Kaneki can handle this. Let’s trust him.”

“Hasn’t worked out so far,” grumbled Koma.

“Hey, who saved our asses that night?” Kaya smirked.

“Besides that, Black Dog.”

“You can’t ‘besides’ someone saving your life, Devil Ape.” Kaya leant over to kiss his lips. “We’ll be no help if we get ourselves killed.”

She sashayed a few steps ahead of Koma, away from the investigator. “Believe it or not, I have a plan.”

            Koma’s eyes skittered around. The absence of any Doves but the green-haired kid gave him even more of an uneasy feeling.

 

The doorbell rang, and Kaneki dashed to answer it. “I’ll check.”

Touka frowned. She opened her mouth to demand he stop trying to get himself dead, but the door swung open before she could speak.

A green-haired boy with an eyepatch and disheveled clothing fell in, an unworldly smile on his face.

“Sensei,” whimpered Mutsuki, grabbing Kaneki’s arm and squeezing so he couldn’t leave. Never again. “I told you I’d go crazy without you.”

“M – Mutsuki,” stammered Kaneki, both horrified yet thrilled to see his friend. A salty smell crept up his nostrils. “Is that blood?”

“I told you I’d be crazy,” repeated Mutsuki. His visible eye was glassed over. “D –don’t leave us again.”

Relieved, Touka stepped into view. They could grab this poor kid and escape.

“Is CCG coming, or are you on your own, Quinx?”

She didn’t see the knife before it dove into her belly.

 

“We’re needed ASAP,” Juuzou said, strolling into the aromatic bakery where Takeomi and his fiancée were busy smiling at each other with half-shut lids, which seemed counter-productive to Suzuya. Shouldn’t they want the fullest look possible at each other?

“You’re easy to find, at least!” He laughed to cover his panic. He didn’t want to see Haise. Not yet.

“Ah – oh.” Takeomi moved back from the glass counter and checked his phone, as he ought to have done earlier. His voice sobered. “I see.”

“Is it dangerous?” The young woman asked worriedly.

“I’ll be fine,” Takeomi said as Suzuya answered, “Yes.”

“I’m Yoriko.” The woman smiled at Suzuya before glaring at Takeomi. “How dangerous?”

“The biggest operation since the Owl Suppression,” said Suzuya. When exactly was he supposed to state his name?

Yoriko’s lips trembled. “I see…”

“I know, your friend.” Takeomi hugged her. “I won’t leave you, I promise.”

“You better not,” she warned, leaning her cheek against him.

“We have Squad Suzuya, anyways.” Takeomi beamed at Suzuya, who fidgeted nervously.

“You’re Juuzou Suzuya? Here.” Yoriko grabbed a sticky bun and shoved it in Suzuya’s mouth. “You deserve a treat before battle.”

“What about me?” whined Takeomi.

She kissed him instead, which baffled Suzuya.

“This is really good!” said Suzuya, struggling to swallow the enormous bite. “It’s sad that my squad’s still minus Hanbee.”

“Why?” Takeomi asked. “Oh – that’s right.” He cringed at Suzuya’s glower.

“What’s wrong with Hanbee?” asked Yoriko.

“Nothing,” Suzuya said quickly. “He’s keeping my friend company.”

“She recently moved in with Suzuya. Pregnant and alone, so Suzuya’s having his squad look out for her,” explained Takeomi. See? Natural.

“Oh.” Yoriko’s eyes shone. “I know! I’ll visit her! And Hanbee can give you CCG agents more manpower.”

“No.”

“Excuse me, mister?” Her hands clamped onto her hips. “I need more friends; didn’t you say that earlier? Marraige is a partnership, not a commander and slave. I’ll bring her food; it will be perfect.”

“I think it would be fine,” said Suzuya slowly. He needed his squad, and Yoriko would be safe with Nami, who wouldn’t hurt anyone. Right?

“Uh – “ Takeomi evidently disagreed, but Yoriko was already raiding her pastry supply.

 

Kaneki screamed so loudly she almost didn’t have to.

“What the hell?” spat Touka instead, stumbling away from this madman.

“Don’t take him from me!” Mutsuki grappled for the knife, but Touka easily sidestepped him, the knife still in her stomach.

“You took him from us!” screamed Mutsuki, diving after her, before Kaneki’s kagune threw him to the floor.

“W – what?” Mutsuki’s eyes filled with tears. “Why did you hate us? I needed you!”

“Stay on the floor, or I’ll put a hole in you,” Kaneki commanded.

“You already did.” Mutsuki giggled through his sobs. “You were – the only one – who didn’t look at me like meat – I hate men.”

Touka slid the knife out of her stomach as she saw Hinami and Ayato come flying downstairs.

With her furious wave, they actually paused for once. Well, Hinami did, and her kagune wrapped around Ayato.

“Die!” Mutsuki released an evergreen bikaku before charging at Kaneki, swinging over and over.

“Mutsuki, no!” Kaneki pled, scrambling to avoid his increasingly frantic friend. He was – he was going to have to kill him, too, just like Arima. No – no – no –

“Stop!” Touka shouted, igniting her kagune as she rose above them. The blood dripped down, down, down onto the floorboards, but there wasn’t much danger – she was stronger than this. “I’ll fire on you if you don’t. You’re sick, kid, but even you’ve got to realize you’re outnumbered!”

“Don’t hurt my sister!” shouted Ayato, struggling against Hinami.

“I won’t be for long. The Oggai are on their way – I just – I just want one thing to go right. I want to kill you; please, _please_ let me kill you.” Mutsuki swayed.

The door flew off its hinges.

 

“Hanbee, shouldn’t you be with your squad right now?” _Killing Kaneki? Our only hope?_ Nami wrung her hands as she paced the small apartment.

“There’s not much I can do. Besides, I’m often better on the sidelines,” he said with a laugh from his position slumped on the couch.

“You sound miserable.”

“I’m not very brave, Nami.”

“I think it’s brave just to admit that.” Nami tilted her head.

“Um –”

The doorbell rang, and Hanbee scrambled to his feet. “Who on earth?”

“Hello?” called a pretty, bright voice.

Hanbee cracked open the door to see a lovely blonde woman carrying a basket of baked muffins, rolls, and croissants. “Hi! Is this Suzuya’s apartment?”

She craned her neck to see a stunned Nami against the farthest wall. “Ah, you must be the friend.”

Hanbee’s mouth dropped as the woman elbowed her way inside. “My fiancée told me Suzuya was helping out a pregnant friend who was new to the area, so I thought I’d stop by with food. And friendship, of course! I’m Yoriko Kosaka.”

 

“Everyone get on the ground!” Urie Kuki was out of breath and furious. Mutsuki was in danger – how could Haise –

Mutsuki’s tear-streaked face and bloody scent took him aback.

“Mucchan?” Saiko shook.

“What the hell?” Aura grumbled, as Higemaru elbowed him silent and Hsaio cursed under her breath.

“Urie.” Kaneki didn’t move. His ruby-red kagune curled dangerously close to Mutsuki.

And the female ghoul hovered above, her ukaku poised to strike Mutsuki.

Urie fought for calm. “What’s going on?”

“Your friend attacked my sister!” shouted Ayato from the stairs.

“Helpful,” Hinami hissed in his ear, to Ayato’s confusion. It was true, wasn’t it?

“Nice to see you again,” Urie said to the little butterfly ghoul, earning Ayato’s wrath.

“You pompous –”

“S – she’s a ghoul,” mumbled Mutsuki.

“Oh, no, you don’t!” scoffed Touka. “You’re not after me because I’m a _ghoul_. For your information, Mr. Quinx, Mutsuki here is out of his mind for love.”

“Love?” Urie’s heart stopped. Mutsuki loved Haise?

“Well, what he thinks is love. I’ll guess he thinks _love_ is merely being treated with respect, am I right?” Touka glowered at Mutsuki, who was hunched over.

Urie – and Saiko – they’s finally found him like this. They could find out. A sob rose in his throat.

No, he could fix this. “Let me kill him.”

“What? Mucchan, you don’t want to kill Maman!” wailed Saiko.

The heartbreak on the purple-haired man’s face was palpable. Mutsuki hadn’t denied a thing.

“Mutsuki…”

“Then I’ll kill you!” cried Mutsuki, spinning around to the Quinxes as Hsaio shoved herself before Saiko. _See! See how rotten I am!_ “You know I can – I killed my family before! And – and the cat – and Torso – meow –”

“You aren’t to blame for Torso,” Urie said shakily. “He tortured you, Mutsuki, though I don’t _know_ what he did to you, I – I can imagine. But you can tell me anytime, you know. I’ll always listen. B – because if anyone, it’s my fault. I failed to help the one I love. I’m _sorry_!”

Mutsuki squeaked in reply. Love?

Kaneki’s eyes pierced Urie, and he could feel the rest of his squad’s gaze. “I love you, Mutsuki.”

Mutsuki’s lips quivered. He hurt – he hurt so much. And yet he was numb.

“It’s never made me think less of you,” Urie said. “You’re not the sadist; _he_ was.”

“But he’s mimicked him,” Aura said reluctantly. Urie ought not to turn soft.

“What?” Urie glared at him.

Aura raised his hands as he stared at the ground. “I caught him assaulting a clown who’d impersonated Haise.”

“Assaulting? That was during the clown siege; we _all_ assaulted them,” snapped Urie.

“Not just with a knife…” Aura flushed. “Do you know what I mean?”

Saiko gasped, and Kaneki turned as green as Mutsuki’s hair.

Mutsuki, meanwhile, shook violently. He met Urie’s eyes – yes, Urie understood. Urie hated him, too. He was disgusting. He couldn’t love him now.

“I’m sorry,” cried Aura. “I put CCG first. I covered and said I’d help him kill Kaneki.”

“You fucker,” growled Urie. He could have talked to Mutsuki sooner –

“You put yourself first!” snapped Hsaio.

Mutsuki wanted to die. Everyone – everyone knew.

Ayato’s face turned mottled purple. “You’re – a backstabbing – a rapist –”

“No!” Mutsuki shrieked. His veins bulged from his neck, his forehead and even his eye. “No! I can’t be! Stop – stop – stop it! I’m – _agh_!”

Mutsuki’s bikaku twirled around and ran through his own neck.

“Tooru!” screamed Urie, diving forward in sync with Kaneki.

Kaneki’s rinkaku entrapped Mutsuki’s bikaku, and Urie threw his arms around Mutsuki. His neck was sticky with blood, but his healing abilities were replenishing himself fast enough.

Perhaps it was better that Mutsuki’d eaten before, thought Urie, to his own horror. The person who’d been eaten had family, too.

“Shh, shh, you’re okay. You’re gonna be okay, Mucchan,” Urie pled instead. “I forgive you; of course I do.”

Mutsuki gurgled in response. Tears streamed down his face.

“I’m here.” Kaneki stroked his friend’s hair. “I won’t leave you, I promise.”

“Is he –”

“He’ll be okay.” Touka interrupted her fellow blue-haired lady, finally back to solid ground.

“We love you,” Urie said loudly. “We all love you, Mutsuki. Saiko, Kaneki, Shirazu, me – I love you so much, Mutsuki. I need you to pull through this, okay? I’ll help you. I promise.”

“Your friends are still here for you, Mutsuki,” said Touka, peering over them to smile reassuringly at him. “You’ll be okay at Re.”

“Uh – um – uh – sorry to break everyone up, but given the sirens I hear, we should all leave,” said Higemaru with a glance outside. “Before we go on lockdown.”

Everyone stared at the pink-haired boy.

“What?” He blinked. “Aren’t we sticking with them until Mutsuki is better? Like you said, Urie, they’ll kill him for being full ghoul.”

Hsaio grinned, to Aura’s horror. Saiko’s glower silenced him. _Saiko_.

“I suppose we are,” murmured Urie, rocking Mutsuki back and forth in his arms. “See, Mutsuki, we’d all commit treason for you.”

In Urie’s speckled eyes, Mutsuki felt a brief moment of hope before he lost everything but feeling.

 

            “This feels like the Owl Suppression, part Two,” muttered Keijin as Hanbee raced up. The café’s lights were on, and at least ten people milled about inside.

            “Was it really?” asked Takeomi.

Suzuya shrugged.

“I’m here,” Hanbee panted.

            “So we see,” said Mizorou.

            “Takeomi, were you sure…?”

            “You said you could control her. I’m banking a lot on you keeping this secret,” hissed Takeomi.

Suzuya didn’t respond. Nami would never hurt Yoriko. He wasn’t prepared to remember Mr. Shinohara, or to face Haise.

“Why haven’t the Quinxes responded?” Ui threw his phone to the floor. “This is preposterous! We’ll need them.”

“Maybe they say Furuta’s display and fled for their lives,” snapped Miyuki.

Ui’s mouth dropped. “Show some respect.”

“Show some respect for yourself, then.” Suzuya nodded at Ui.

“I am. I encourage you all to think a little harder about your side,” said Ui, avoiding eye contact as Furuta sauntered over.

“Now then, little Arima,” he sang. “I hope you’re ready to kill more ghouls.”

Suzuya gripped Jason. “Always, sir.”

 

 


	9. In the Lion's Den

**Chapter Nine**

**In the Lion’s Den**

 

Inside Re, sirens had drowned out every sensation but dread. Kaneki couldn’t even feel confused at the blasting colors. All he could do was hear their panicked screams.

“We’re trapped.” Ayato pounded his fists. Hinami could not be caught again. If he had to die for her, he would. He absolutely would.

“Are we the only ones in here?” Kaneki asked, stumbling towards the door. His hands fumbled for the light switch, plunging them into darkness.

The hazy outside cleared. They were surrounded, and across the street, he spied the Oggai’s short figures bouncing up and down.

 _Children_.

“Us and Roma. She’s upstairs.” Touka crossed her arms.

“Can we leave her as a distraction and run for it?” demanded Ayato.

“She’ll die!” gasped Hinami.

“Roma has made herself our enemy,” Touka said uncertainly.

“Then leave her,” said Aura.

“If Aura says to do it, we should do the opposite.” Urie scowled from his position next to Mutsuki’s unconscious body.

“Why?” cried Aura. “Do you want to be a fugitive like Mado? Or _executed_?”

“Do you want to shut up?” countered Urie, eyes flashing.

“Urie, we shouldn’t fight now,” said Saiko, chewing on her lower lip.

“I agree with the Quinx,” called Hinami. Her smile unsettled Saiko’s stomach – she was so cute and innocent.

 _How did you see so much and not want ro dive away under a mountain of blankets and sweets_? Saiko wondered. Well, sweets probably weren’t an option.

“He _knew_. He _knew_ Mutsuki was losing his mind, and he did nothing because he wanted vengeance,” spat Urie. “Aura, you’re dead to me.”

“I’ll accept anyone’s death to anyone so long as no one actually dies,” Hsaio said dryly.

“Hey, I mean, he helped betray his own squad. Why don’t we leave him too?” suggested Ayato. He had no use for this tall, disloyal whiner.

“Shut up, teenager,” snapped Saiko, throwing her hands in the air. “All of us shut up! Let’s figure a way out of this.”

“I’ll get Roma.” Hinami spun around to head upstairs.

“Higemaru, accompany her.” Saiko ignored Urie’s glare. He was in no shape to lead.

“Uh – uh –” Higemaru hesitated. He didn’t want to displease Urie.

“Do it,” Urie said tiredly.

“Okay!” He bounded upstairs.

“I’m coming, too,” insisted Ayato.

Hinami forced herself to giggle. “Hi.” She waved at Higemaru. “This is Ayato. He’s so anxious, isn’t he, Higemaru?”

 

“Are we sure about this?” whispered Amon.

He remembered waiting around a coffee shop four years ago, back when he still had a certain morality to cling to, as they prepared to take down their great enemy.

He touched his eye. _And now he’s a part of me_.

“Yes,” said Hirako, staring up at the black building blocking their view. “We can’t not be. We know CCG best.”

After that building lay Re, lay CCG and Furuta and Oggai and their friends.

 _It’s weird, isn’t it? I’m happy to be on Eyepatch’s team._ Amon squirmed.

“It’ll be like old times,” said Seidou with a grin, elbowing Akira. “Right, Mado?”

Akira rolled her eyes. “Are you competing with me again?”

Seidou’s shoulders slumped. “I can’t anymore.”

 _Shit_. She felt like Maris Stella’s litter box.

“Oh, I see. You’re competing against Amon now, Owl.” Akira poked him. She didn’t know what else to say.

Something in her smile struck Seidou to smile back. “You got me.”

“Kids,” muttered Hirako.

“Shut it, human.” Seidou snapped his fingers.

“Hold on.” Amon pressed his phone to his ear. “Chie?” He nodded, and hung up with a cringe. “They’re in the sewers.”

“Damn, she’s good,” Seidou said. “CCG could have used her. If – you know – ”

“That means it’s on us.” Akira motioned to the remnants of Arima’s squad. “We’ll clear the way. You two get ready to pull out your kakuja or whatever it is you do.”

“That’s so imprecise for you,” said Seidou, head askance.

Akira delivered a withering look. “I’m learning we’re all allowed mistakes.”

 

“Does Suzuya tell you much about the CCG?” Yoriko clutched a cup of coffee and leaned towards Nami.  

“Some,” Nami answered evasively. Decaf coffee felt like an abomination, but this girl ad been sweet enough to brew some, so she would drink it.

“It’s so mysterious.” Yoriko grinned, but her eyes faded. “Takeomi can’t tell me much, but I worry for him.”

“They have strength in numbers,” Nami said, unsure how to comfort her. What did Yoriko want to hear? “I’m sure he will be okay.”

Yoriko traced the top of the cup with her fingers. “It’s not that. It’s – the CCG’s direction. The mass slaughters are shocking, to me and to him. And welcoming that Dr. Frankenstein back – it’s frightening.”

“Doctor?” Nami asked, her heart palpitating. “Do you mean Kanou?”

“Has Suzuya told you about him, too? His ethical history is disturbing, don’t you agree? I mean, I’m only a baker, I know, but …” Yoriko trailed off.

Nami’s mind whirred. Kanou worked for CCG now? He – he was the one she was chasing. Wherever Rize had vanished, she would find answers with him.

_I went to Hisen and submitted myself to capture and escape, and he was before me the entire time._

He was one person – Juuzou – removed from her.

“I know, Nami.” Yoriko stared at the brown liquid in her mug. “I should hate ghouls. They probably killed my best friend a few years ago. But I – I can’t hate someone I don’t know, you know?”

“Yes, I do know.” Nami leant forward and grabbed Yoriko’s wrist.

The other woman looked up with a start to see – a kagunan shining from the other woman’s eyes.

“Oh.” Yoriko blinked.

“You see?” Nami shook her head.

Suzuya was fighting GOAT now. People were dying all around them, and soon would be her turn.

All she had was an answer dangling before her, and it was all she really wanted before leaving. “Kanou took my friend. Once. I’ve been looking for her since. And now she’s before me.”

“How can I help?” Yoriko set down her coffee. “I won’t tell, by the way.”

“You could, if you wanted. I wouldn’t blame you.” Nami squeezed her eyes shut. “I need to sneak into CCG. It will be dangerous – but if you could help disguise me so Suzuya doesn’t come under suspicion of course –”

“Disguises will be easy.” Yoriko stood. “I’m coming.”

“It will be dangerous.” Anxiety tickled Nami’s stomach.

“Look. Clearly the world is much more complex than I know.” Yoriko bent down to smile at Nami. “But If it helps Takeomi, I’d do anything.”

 

The sewers smelt of decay and excrement and slime, and Suzuya thought that fitting. He felt as disgusting as their surroundings. He wanted Haise – Kaneki to be okay. He felt lost.

Miyuki’s yelp was the first indication anything was wrong.

Juuzou spun around as Keijin slammed into the slick sewer wall. One kick sent Mizorou tripping over him, and then it was just him and Hanbee left.

“Sorry,” said Hirako Take, emerging from around the corner. “But you should probably put down your quinques.”

Akira Mado stepped out from behind him. “Suzuya.”

“Mado?”

“I know you won’t believe me, but I’m doing the right thing.” Akira nodded to her side. Who was there? Ghouls, no doubt. “I can knock you out if it’s easier. It would have been for me.”

“Have you gone mad?” cried Hanbee, stepping closer to his leader. They wouldn’t hurt Suzuya. Not on his watch.

“Sane, actually. I’m trying to prevent another two investigators from dying.” Akira looked pointedly at them.

Suzuya drew a knife from his pocket. Slowly. He had to, right? “Are you sure?”

Akira tilted her head. It was time for what little information Karren had provided her. “You’re the one who’s friends with the little breeder, right?”

“Don’t call her that!”

Akira spoke as fast as she could. They didn’t have much time before the rest of his squad awoke. “If you want to help her, your best odds are to lay down your weapons and listen to us. Believe it or not, Kaneki also wants to help her. You’ve never been stupid; you have to know GOAT is her best chance.”

Suzuya frowned. “She knows Kaneki?”

He’d always known, hadn’t he? He just hadn’t wanted to believe her.

“Now.” Hirako cleared his throat as Shio Ihei, Yusa Arima, and Rikai Souza dove on Hanbee.

“Ah!” cried Hanbee as the young investigators giggled. “Don’t fight.”

Suzuya’s Jason sas torn from his hand, and he felt himself falling, as two kakuja ghouls shot past Suzuya.

When he leapt to follow them, he felt Mado’s arms around his neck. “Don’t fight me. You’re just going to get very sleepy.”

Ahead of him, the two ghouls hammered the slick stones, decimating the sewer wall.

 

CCG loomed ahead, the dark metropolis from which ghouls, Quinxes, and humans were held prisoner. Some within cells, some without, Nami thought.  

Yoriko hesitated. “Nami, it’s probably none of my business, but I’m glad you told me…about who you are.”

            Nami adjusted the itchy, straight black wig on her head. How did people like Yoriko stand bangs? “I’m grateful you don’t hate me.”

            Yoriko pushed the glass doors and hesitated. “I had a friend who hid everything once. She eventually disappeared. I don’t know what her secrets were, but I think she kept them because she was afraid. I wish people wouldn’t act just because they’re afraid.”

            “Me too,” Nami said, swallowing hard.

            “My cousin and I are going to wait in Takeomi’s office!” Yoriko waltzed into CCG and waved at a purple-haired secretary. She hugged Nami and waving her engagement ring around for all to see.

            “Of course, it’s on the third floor, left,” said the woman as the two women breezed past the RC scanners.

 

Roma was a surprisingly pretty ghoul whose glare probably could have killed every officer outside. She hissed at the Quinx squad. “Going to feed me to the wolves?”

“The opposite, actually,” Kaneki said. “We’re going to escape with you.”

Roma threw back her head and laughed. “I see. Oh, right. You and what army?”

“His family is his army,” Touka said, offering Saiko a slight smile.

“I don’t like her,” Aura said, returning Roma’s glare.

“Good, maybe she can kill you,” Urie said.

“Urie!” Saiko cried.

“Urie.” Kaneki knelt next to him. _I’m so sorry_. “You’ll be okay. So will Mustuki. I promise.”

“Why should we believe you?”

“Because Kaneki has never stopped fighting for you guys,” Hinami said. “Or you, Roma.”

Roma snorted, but Touka jumped in, pressing her hand over her heart. “He wants to die to make the world better for us and you, for humans and ghouls. I know he loves you all.”

“Maman – you –”

“You’re suicidal?” Urie started.

“I – I – no,” Kaneki lied lamely. Saiko’s face pouted, and he knew if she saw through his lies, everyone did.

            He deserved to die by his own hand, not Mutsuki.

            The floor erupted, sending Urie tumbling over Mutsuki’s body. When he looked up, he saw his former leader shielding him, and, in turn, his blue-haired lady ghoul shielding Kaneki.

 _What – do you really – care_?

            “Seidou!” cried Ayato. “And Amon!”

            “Floppy?” Saiko’s eyes looked about to fall out.

            “You.” From their closed quinque cases, Amon could only assume these Quinxes had sided with GOAT. _Only Eyepatch_. Wasn’t he always behind every strange happenstance?

            “You’re rescuing us?”

            Hsaio squeezed Saiko’s hand. Finally, Saiko could find her answers.

            “Well, duh.” Seidou scoffed.

“Tsukiyama suggested only former CCG officials come, but we’re all waiting for you in the hideout.” Akira Mado lifted herself into Re, only to stop a the sight of Mutsuki’s pallid figure. “What happened?”

            “Long story,” Urie said. “But for now, we’re on your side.”

“Pretty impressive, men.” Akira placed her hands on her hips and beamed at the two kakujas.

“You didn’t hate me?” Amon gazed down his kagune. “I’m one of them now, Akira. It’s okay.”

“No.” Akira grabbed his kakuja and pressed her lips against his.

 _In front of everyone_. Amon’s flesh burned.

“Oh my god yes,” giggled that annoying male rabbit.

“Move now, kiss later?” suggested Hirako, waving Kaneki towards him the floor. “We don’t have long. Besides, we have ten more minutes to give a clear signal or Yomo’s leading round two, and I’d really rather him not.”

Kaneki slid into the swearers and stopped at Suzuya’s body. “Um.”

“He’ll wake up soon,” Akira assured him. “I but him in a sleep hold.”

“Thank you, Mado,” Kaneki said quietly.

Akira eyed him. He didn’t even want Suzuya to die? _How_ had he killed Arima, then?

 

“The lab must be in the basement. I think. It’s where all hidden things are, right?” Nami tried to laugh as she pressed the button to close the elevator.

“Well, if they want a controlled environment, I would think so.” Yoriko brushed her hair out of her eyes. A thrill ran through her.

“I know Director Fur – Director Washuu. He’d insist on the basement for a meta-joke, if nothing else.” Nami crossed her arms. CCG had many labs, but Souta would want Kanou as close as possible.

She hoped she was right. But at least she wasn’t wasting this chance to find more answers.

“Is he part of the reason why you’re disguised?”

Would Yoriko panic if she knew Nami had already been caught before? Probably not, but Nami decided that should wait until later.

The elevator dinged merrily as its doors swished open. Nami paled. “He’s not the only one I know.”

“What are we looking for, exactly?” whispered Yoriko, following Nami on her tiptoes.

The hall was dim and desolate. A light flickered around the corner.

“If I know the director…there’s a lab we’re looking inside the one we’re not. Kanou needs to seem legitimate.” Nami still couldn’t believe she was breaking into CCG. Now. Of all times.

But why wait? What had waiting ever brought her?

“What if he’s here? Now’s the perfect chance to do something illicit, when most investigators are hyperventilating over GOAT.” Yoriko twiddled her thumbs.

“I can’t entertain that possibility right now.” Nami rounded the corner and pointed to a glass door that quite literally said _Research Laboratory_ across it.

“We’re looking for a tour.” Yoriko forced a smile and rapped on the door.

 

“Can you believe it, Mutsuki?” Urie stroked his friend’s hair. “We’re at Mirumo Tsukiyama’s. Of all people.”

Mutsuki didn’t respond. Urie wasn’t sure he was conscious yet, though “Doctor” Banjou had assured them full recovery. _Right now a soft bed and a friend are all he needs._

“It’s funny. I feel safe here, but I’m scared. Because I’ve never felt anything like this before.” Urie smiled. “I’ve lost everything, too, Mutsuki. But I have my family, and you’re a dear part to me. You know what I thought when you hurt yourself? That I would die without you. And when – you were on Rushima –” his voice cracked, “– all I wanted was to go through your torture for you. I love you, Tooru, and don’t you forget it.”

There – was that Tooru’s eyelid flickering? Urie’s heart soared, and he knelt besides Mutsuki’s bed, clasping his friend’s hands. “At the auction, you saw me at my worst and cared for me. I will do the same for you, and more. I love you, Tooru.”

Mutsuki opened his eyes, and Urie stiffened. He’d – he’d wanted this – but now that he’d heard –

“You know we’re all rooting for you? No matter what you do.” Urie gave him a watery smile. “We’re here to hear. To help.”

“Urie, are you crying?”

“No.” A tear slid down his cheek. “Damn you, now I am.”

Mutsuki’s eyes pooled. “You can’t love me.”

Urie pinched a lock of green hair. “Your hair is fine and shiny.” His hands traveled to his face, rubbing the leather patch. “Your eye-patch is cute.”

He tugged the corners of Mutsuki’s mouth. “Your smile melts my heart.”

He blushed and rubbed Mutsuki’s shoulder. He hoped he didn’t seem grabby. “You have nice clothing.”

Mutsuki’s cheeks were pink. He almost – did he – did he mean this?

“There’s no man who cares more than you. Even when I might not have deserved it.” Urie smiled ironically. “You know, all everyone wants for you – myself, the squad, Sensei and even his pretty friend – is happiness. We all see the same thing: someone whose real fault is caring too much.” He shrugged. “So your care got warped because of how others hurt you. So you let it warp you. I let my ambition warp me. Shouldn’t mean we can’t move forward and love ourselves.”

“And each other?” Mutsuki whispered.

“If you’ll have me.”

“I am – so weak – and broken.” Mutsuki struggled to sit up. He gripped Urie’s chin. “But I’m trying again, with you.”

Urie smiled then, and Mutsuki – who’d awoken wishing for death – found himself feeling a tremor of delight.

“You should rest.”

“Don’t leave me? I might – hurt myself.” Mutsuki wrung his hands. “Urie, I can lose my sanity like that.” He snapped his fingers.

“I’m not afraid of you, or what you’ve done.” Urie smiled then, a small but serene smile. “I’ll sleep on the floor so you’re comfortable.”

Mutsuki stretched out on the edge of the bed and dropped his hand down to entwine his fingers with Urie. The purple-haired man lay on the floor, and Mutsuki didn’t want to lose sight of him.

“Just so you know – Saiko, Hsaio, and Higemaru are going to accost you with love tomorrow,” murmured Urie. “But I delayed them tonight.”

Mutsuki’s eyes stung. He didn’t know who or what he was – but he had a family he couldn’t kill.

 

“Suzuya!”

“Huh?” Juuzou awoke with a pounding headache and two Takeomi’s peering down at him. “Ah!”

“They went through the sewers, did they,” murmured Ui Koori, grimacing at the kagune fluids on the decimated wall.

“But they didn’t kill us.” Takeomi frowned. The only ghoul they knew who didn’t kill was Suzuya’s Nami. Could she be involved?

“Akira Mado was with them.” Suzuya struggled to his feet, gripping his prosthetic leg as his phantom pain returned. It’s been almost a year since he’d felt that.

“Akira,” Koori hissed. How? How could she change? If anyone should have been devoted, shouldn’t she?

Unease tugged at him. He’d capitulated to Furuta for Hairu. What if…they weren’t so different after all?

 

“You move slow, Kaneki. I asked you to come here fifteen minutes ago.”

Kaneki leant against the door to Mirumo’s garden. “Shouldn’t you be tucking in the children, Nishiki?”

“Koma’s got it for now.”

“Does he know that?” Kaneki gave Nishiki his best Touka glare.

Nishiki shoved him back. “You need to work on your intimidation, dude.”

“Do I?”

“No. You’re best when you’re your kind, peaceful self. You know it, too.” Nishiki eyed him. “So, about me.”

“You?”

“I’m off to coordinate with the Great Wheel Arc.”

Kaneki narrowed his eyes. “Oh?”

“To see if anyone remembers Kimi, where she might have gone…” Nishiki laughed bitterly. “I’m selfish, Kaneki, but I want to see her one more time…to thank her.”

Kaneki stared at him.

“You almost died tonight; doesn’t that bother you?” Nishiki ran a hand through his hair. “Because it bothers me. If I had died without seeing Kimi again. I keep saying I’d be fine, but I wouldn’t be.”

He leant close. His eyeglasses pressed into Kaneki’s eyelids. “Just like you wouldn’t be fine if you died without kissing Touka.”

Kaneki lurched backwards. What was with everyone assuming he wanted to give Touka physical affection?

Nishiki smirked. “Don’t keep pretending, asshole. We’ll say ‘declare your love’ if a kiss is too much. Come on, now.” He draped his arm around Kaneki’s shoulder. “You’re gonna tell her, or I’ll kick the shit out of you like I did in college.”

“Nishiki, I almost killed _you_.”

“Show that level of determination again. See, dissociate if you have to. It’s part of you. Just tell her, dude. It’s torture watching you two. You’re worse than Karren and Tsukiyama.” Nishiki’s eyes glowed. “Don’t make me ever say that again.”

Kaneki had to chuckle, but a blow from Nishiki’s foot send him sprawling.

“Uh – just like old times, Nishiki?”

“You told me that weasel at CCG said he wants to get the most out of his life, right?” Nishiki advanced, bending down to glower at Kaneki. “And you think you deserve _less_? Or do you think you’re a hero for becoming exactly what your mother was? I see those Quinxes; _you want to leave your squad like your mother left you_?!”

Kaneki gaped at him.

Nishiki straightened. “There. I’ve said all I need. Because I am living my life.”

He opened the door. “Goodbye, Kaneki.”

Kaneki could say nothing as the door clicked closed.

 

“No one’s here.” Yoriko squinted in the dim lighting. The workbenches were desolate, as if no one had worked here for ages, though there was no .

“Not in this lab.” Nami felt her wig slip, but if there were cameras – perhaps paying no attention to it would be best. “There’s something hidden around here. I believe it.”

 _Souta…Souta…what would you like best_?

“Let’s knock on the walls. Listen if something sounds hollow.” Nami sniffed the air, and Yoriko felt a shiver down her spine.

She wished she didn’t instinctively fear ghouls.

“Do you smell that?” Nami pushed past the bottles of isopropanol and formaldehyde to the door at the far end of the rectangular lab. She peered through the window. “The morgue.”

“Uh –”

Nami pushed her way in. Bodies of ghouls and investigators, carefully preserved. Nothing suspicious.

Yoriko gagged behind her.

“I’m sorry.” Nami whirled around. “I just –”

“There’s a chemical cabinet here.” Desperate to avoid the smell of death, Yoriko opened the strongly scented cabinet –

to see another room.

“Or not.”

Nami approached slowly.

“Children,” squeaked Yoriko, looking at the bodies of future Oggai. “They’re breathing!”

“Future Oggai.” Nami’s hand returned to her stomach. _You’re hurting children, Souta_.

“And adults.” Yoriko pointed forward.

Hairu’s head and body floated in a glass jar, lying peacefully on the furthest table.

Nami gagged. _Hairu_!

 _I’m Hairu. You seem so sad since Rize left. We should be friends_. _The pink-haired half-human held out her hand with a wide smile._

And an orange-haired boy about her age, and a mummified ghoul – and multiple others, all in glass cases.

The dead.

Nami bent over. “He’s raising the dead.”

“What?!” Yoriko’s mouth dropped. “That doesn’t even – it’s not possible.”

“No, you don’t understand – the garden.” Nami keeled over, her hands on her splitting forehead.

But a tank glowed in the corner of the room, and she knew she had to approach it, to witness every level of secrecy.

A naked, violet-haired woman floated in it, her face obscured.

But Nami knew. She always had. “Rize.”

With one hand outstretched, the other fumbled for the tank buttons.

“What are you doing?” Yoriko’s voice rose.

“ _Yes, what are you doing_?” A voice rang out from the other end of the lab.


	10. Trespassers

**Chapter Ten**

**Trespassers**

 

“We’re trespassing,” squeaked Yoriko before her eyes had even focused on the men racing towards her.

Nami felt leaden. _I – I’m sorry_ –

Hands grabbed Yoriko’s arms and twisted them behind her back. The blonde woman flushed angrily.

Nami wasn’t sorry, not really, but she could be – she should be –

Suzuya shoved himself between Nami and those buttons, whatever they were. “Why would you do this?”

A tear trickled down Nami’s face. He thought her a traitor. Well, she kinda was. “I wanted to find my friend.”

Suzuya stared at the half-limbed young woman dangling like a carcass in the tank. “Your friend?”

“It’s _Rize_. Rize Kamishiro. Look what they’ve done to her.” Nami lunged for the tank, but Suzuya’s hands wrapped around her chest and wrenched her away. “Look what they’ve done to her! Furuta! I know this is his fault!”

“You came here for your friend?” Suzuya tightened his hold on her.

“Of course; why else?”

“And brought Yoriko into this, you filthy ghoul!” burst out Takeomi as he shoved Keijin and his handcuffs away from his fiancée.

“Stop it, Kuriowa!” Yoriko gasped. “I volunteered to help her!”

“Did you?” Sweat broke on Takeomi’s forehead. _Don’t say that, don’t say that, don’t say that!_

Yoriko shoved her face against his. “I know she’s a ghoul; am I supposed to _care_? You obviously knew, and it didn’t bother you before. I trusted you. And I wasn’t wrong. Was I?” She blinked back tears. “Besides, this was something to do that wasn’t waiting around to hear you’re dead.”

Takeomi hesitated. “Yoriko…”

“What is this place?” Keijin crossed his arms. “And how did you know to come here?”

“What happened with GOAT?” Nami cried back.

“So you _do_ support them.” Suzuya frowned.

“No, I – maybe. Yes.” Nami squeezed her eyes shut so she wouldn’t have to see his face. He must hate her.

“They escaped,” Hanbee said loudly. “And knocked us all out on the way.”

She smiled, keeping her eyes shut like the coward she was. “I’m glad. They’re free and your consciences are clear.”

“ _My_ conscience isn’t clear. _I_ don’t know why Akira Mado or the Quinx would join them. I don’t even know why Haise left, so how can I have a clear conscience?” Suzuya scowled. “No one will tell me the truth.”

“She had a hunch. That’s why we’re here,” Yoriko said shakily.

“Not good enough,” said Miyuki, glancing out the deserted hallway.

“If I told you the truth, you wouldn’t believe me.” Nami squeezed her eyes tight until she saw stars.

Suzuya tugged on his hair. “Hmm. If we bring you out of here and cover for you, will you tell us? All of us?”

           “I will,” said Yoriko. “But I don’t know much.”

“I still appreciate it,” whispered Takeomi, flashing her an apologetic smile.

“What about Rize?”

Suzuya stared at the floating ghoul. “Leave her. Just for a little while longer.”

“No,” whimpered Nami.

“You’ve gotta do what I say.” Suzuya began dragging her back. “It’s only fair.”

 _Do what he says. That’s your duty_.

Nami bit her lip to suppress a scream. She was back there – he was acting like back there – not Juuzou – it was so unfair.

“We need to leave before someone finds us,” Suzuya announced, breaking through her thoughts. “Nami, please watch your step.”

She opened her eyes.

 

Kaneki had scuttled away again. _Curse the centipede_. Furuta grinned to himself as he passed the nauseating portraits of leading Washuus from the past.

“Why are you humming?” asked Ui, peering out of his office.

“Because it annoys you, my ethical friend.” Furuta winked and sashayed down the hall to his own office, but not before he saw the flush on Ui’s face.

People were so dumb.

He’d given them every sign he was worse than a ghoul, and still they followed him.

Furuta threw open his door and collapsed in his chair. Soon they’d find the promise of life eternal – only to have it ripped away, because death was what all living beings deserved.

And he would do the ripping. Furuta giggled as a text from Kanou appeared on his phone.

_Someone knows_

Furuta rolled his eyes. He was too close for his plans to teeter now. Even Kaneki was but a distraction.

_Can you get security footage_

_Kanou, at least punctuate properly. Aren’t you a doctor?_ He typed back.

He paused. _But since you insist_.

His fingers punched a number into his phone.

“Hello?” answered a somber female.

“Nishino? Your boss wants security footage. Get it.”

Nishino’s voice was dry. “I know your game, Director.”

“I know you do; that’s why I keep you around, dear!” Furuta chuckled as he hung up.

 

Nami shrunk herself as best she could. Suzuya motioned her to the couch, but she shook her head. She’d disobeyed; she didn’t deserve a soft seat.

Suzuya groaned. “Hanbee.”

“Of course.” Hanbee scooped Nami up and dropped her onto the couch. “We still care about your kid, you know.”

“In the way that Souta does?”

“Who is Souta?” Suzuya asked.

“I – I know him. The director. Kichimura Washuu or whatever the hell he’s styling himself now. He was called Souta when we were children.” She sniffled. “A lab right under your noses is exactly what he would like.”

“Interesting.” Mizorou tapped his chin. “So what was that place?”

“There were a lot of dead investigators.” Suzuya surveyed the room. “And ghouls.”

“Everyone there was at least part ghoul,” Nami whispered.

“Part?” Suzuya asked sharply. “Even First Class Hairu?”

Nami’s shoulders slumped. “Do you not wonder why your RC detectors didn’t catch me at the door?”

Her voice caught. She couldn’t – she shouldn’t –

 

Kimi Nishino had endured quite a night, and that was before that slippery Bureau Director had delivered more orders.

He probably thought her dumb enough to just deliver the footage without reviewing. But Kimi was not dumb, despite Kanou’s mockery of her as ‘just a girl.’

“Thank you.” Kimi waved the flash drive before the security guards, but instead of walking to Kanou’s office, detoured into her own office. Which was essentially a closet, but it was still hers.

She plopped herself before her computer screen. She hadn’t been home in three days, and she certainly wouldn’t tonight.

Scientists were used to long, fruitless hours, but lately she was running out of options.

She needed a test subject. If they could raise these dead, she could test her RC inhibitory concoctions.

Kimi touched her silver bangle. This was how she justified messing with eternity. Maybe God would see it differently. Who knew? She didn’t have time to care.

With a groan to silence her doubts, Kimi fast-forwarded the footage until a few blips crossed the screen. _Halt_.

Shortly after 2 am, two women she didn’t recognize entered.

Then, _Squad Suzuya_. And Takeomi Kuriowa.

Panic clawed at Kimi. She needed these bodies. She needed to save ghouls and stop the second Arima before he interfered.

 

“If it helps,” said Hanbee, languishing his lanky frame on the floor, “we can tell GOAT’s story first.”

“Which is basically that Kaneki escaped with the help of former CCG agents, the Quinx have sided with GOAT, and we rushed back to CCG to find out from our secretary that Yoriko and her cousin were missing in CCG,” announced Mizorou.

“We used security cameras to find you,” Takeomi said, red-faced. “I thought you’d gotten scared or hurt!”

Nami cringed. She couldn’t blame him, but his distrust hurt regardless.

“I appreciate your valiant concern.” Yoriko poked his nose. “So answer my question now. I don’t understand why you’re opposed to GOAT. If someone wants ghouls and humans to cooperate, isn’t that a good thing? I mean, I like this ghoul here.”

She gestured to Nami, who laughed in relief.

“Not if that means accepting humans eaten,” Takeomi said.

“Who says it does?”

“Well, what else can they do? They can’t eat any other way.” Suzuya leant back against the wall. “I don’t blame them. This is just how it is.”

“That’s boring,” Nami said quickly, her hands over her stomach. “My kid isn’t guilty just because they are a ghoul. They didn’t choose it. And I – do you all really intend to hunt the two of us down?”

The room fell silent. Yoriko glared at Takeomi, and Suzuya scuffed his sandals on the floor. “I wouldn’t want to.”

“Not enough,” Nami shot back. “Look, I know my actions tonight were silly and dangerous, but please understand. If GOAT can find a way for humans and ghouls to _peacefully_ coexist, why would you oppose it?”

“Can we trust the ghouls?” Keijin asked.

“There’s not much trust between humans and ghouls left, is there? Aogiri. The White Suits. The restaurant.” Nami shrugged. “But there’s not much trust between ghouls and ghouls, either. Look to your leaders. Washuus.”

“They’re –” Suzuya stepped forward.

“They’re the leaders I used to work for.” Her hands trembled.

“Kichimura, too?” Suzuya exclaimed. He ought to carve up his face! It would be fun.

“ _That’s_ how Matsuri recognized you,” muttered Miyuki.

“Kichimura – Souta Furuta-Washuu, is the one who murdered his family. He never approved of their b – breeding program.” Nami coughed. “To which Rize and I belonged. She’s not my friend, but I know her so well, she might as well be.”

Takeomi made no effort to stop Yoriko from wrapping her arms around Nami. “You’re brave.”

“I’m not.” Nami buried her face in her hands. “I escaped the night he killed them, and all I could do was run while I heard Iyo screaming for help.”

Suzuya remembered Iyo handing him cookies once. Huh. For a ghoul, she was a good cook.

“So he killed them to free you?” Takeomi tried to gentle his tone.

“Ha! No.” Nami rolled her eyes with faux enthusiasm. She had to live somehow. “He hates Tsuneyoshi for how he treats us and most, his father. Because, see, the place we grew up is called the ‘Sunlit Garden.’ The Washuus dub the organization that runs it _V_. They train us and the failed ghouls there.”

“Failed?”

“Half-human hybrids produced by experiments. Like your Arima Kishou, Hairu Ihei, and Souta.”

“ _Arima_?” cried Hanbee. “ _Arima_?”

“Would I say something so ludicrous if it weren’t true? Surely you’ve read Sen Tatatsuki’s tale by now.” Nami crossed her arms.

“So Furuta wants to stop the corruption,” murmured Suzuya.

“By joking us all. I wouldn’t be surprised if he plans to end his life for his cause,” said Nami. “He’s smart, but self-destructive. That’s your chance. But you’ll have more chance if you join GOAT.”

“We can’t join GOAT,” Suzuya said. Mr. Shinohara was part of CCG.

“Do you want to know what he’s doing in that lab? Kanou is raising the dead. _Your_ dead. Surely you all heard of Noro, the mummy ghoul? The energy force in ghouls in tremendous, and the only one reason for him to keep their bodies.” Nami nodded. “Souta will probably pin his hopes on Kanou’s resurrection.” He was probably the type to find death fun.

“Can we stop this? Should we?” Shirazu’s face floated before Hanbee. “I want Shirazu back.”

“What if they’re more ghoulish than before?” asked Keijin.

“My guess is they’ll be back in a state just conscious enough to slaughter CCG,” said Nami. “That sounds like Souta.”

“Lovely,” muttered Yoriko, one hand moving back to grip Takeomi’s.

“All of you! If we can raise the dead, how can we not have a solution to ghoul’s food?” burst out Nami. “Surely it’s not that hard.”

“So you want us to bet on teaming up with ghouls and hoping we find a reason they don’t eat us?” Suzuya asked.

“What other choice do you have? Either way, you could die. At least now you have a chance. And, for your information, most of GOAT lives off suicide bodies instead of killing. Not to mention you’ll find humans like your friend Marude there.”

“Marude?” cried Keijin.

“But not his motorcycle,” said Takeomi, flashing a smile at Suzuya.

“Sometimes I think I should buy him a new one. I don’t really want to, though. I just feel like other people expect it.” Suzuya grinned. “But if he’s a traitor, all my debts are paid. Maybe we _shouldn’t_ join Goat.”

It took Nami a moment to realize he was joking. She laughed along with everyone else, but she felt even uneasier.

She wanted this motorcycle story.

She didn’t want him to hate her.

“Mutsuki?” Kaneki glanced behind him at Touka’s firm face. _Okay, okay, I’m doing it._

Touka shoved him into the room.

Mutsuki sat up straight at the intrusion. Electricity jolted through him. Forget sleep.

“Wha –” Urie rose from the floor and rubbed sleep out of his eyes. “Oh.”

Mutsuki espied a crusty trickle of drool on Urie’s chin and, because he couldn’t quite look at Haise, wiped it off.

“You saw nothing, Haise,” Urie said quickly.

“Of course not,” Kaneki said with a cringe-inducing smile.

“Good. Now stop smiling,” Urie commanded.

Kaneki’s face fell. “It’s not Haise. It’s Kaneki.”

“Why?” burst out Mutsuki. “Why can’t you be Haise? You were – you were kind.” His face reddened.

“Because Haise is not who I am.” Kaneki’s face crumbled.

“It is!” yelled Mutsuki, as Urie patted his shoulder. Tears choked his throat. “You can’t pretend it’s not you! You need to – you need to be both. You can’t say you weren’t you.”

Kaneki’s lips parted. “Mutsuki –”

“I’m the same,” mumbled Mutsuki, rocking back and forth. “I’m the same.”

“Mutsuki!” Kaneki dove forward to sit beside him. “I am – I am so sorry I abandoned you. On Rushima.”

“Rushima.” Mutsuki squeaked and buried his head. “You would have left me for Torso.”

The room fell silent. Kaneki felt stricken. _Oh, God_.

“No,” said Urie with a shiver. “The last thing he told me as Haise was to save you. I’m the one who failed you.”

“You’ve never failed me.” Mutsuki smiled at Urie.

“I have, and I will. We’ll fail together.” Urie rested his head on Mutsuki’s lap. “Right?”

Mutsuki didn’t want to smile, but he had to even as tears choked him. With a finger, he traced the characteristic moles below Urie’s eyes. “Yeah.”

So Kanae’s offbeat comment about love last night was correct. This wasn’t friendship love. _Huh_. Kaneki blinked. How could he have been so wrong?

“Mutsuki, I love you, too,” Kaneki blurted as Urie’s eyes darkened. “You’re like a brother to me.”

Urie nodded approvingly.

“Or a child. I realize I’m the worst parent anyone could have, but – I just – please, never doubt that I love you.” Kaneki had to wonder if this was how Mom felt. Despite her strikes, had she loved him? Did it matter?

“You didn’t molest me.” Musuki hung his head. “I killed my family. Not ghouls.”

“I know,” said Kaneki.

Mutsuki gasped. “And you still thought I’d make a good Quinx?”

“I met a good person. That’s all I saw or wanted. That’s whom I believe in. If I can be Kaneki and Haise, you can be a good person who killed as a victimized child.” Kaneki smiled as water dribbled down his cheeks. He had no idea what he was saying, but it sounded right. “My mom used to hurt me, too, Mutsuki.”

Urie gaped at them. He hadn’t known –he nearly wished he could say ‘me too,’ but Dad had been nothing but heaven to him. Where would he be without Dad? “That’s despicable.”

“My mom hated me, too.” Saiko’s voice rang out from the doorway. She sauntered in and stopped when she saw Mutsuki. “Mucchan, can I hug you?”

“If you want to.” Mutsuki felt confused. People wanted to be close to him? People besides Urie?

“I never had interactions with my parents. I was a science experiment from the Sunlit Garden,” announced Hsaio as she waltzed inside.

“The what?” Higemaru narrowed his eyes.

Kaneki gaped at her. “You, too?”

She nodded and flashed him a tight smile. “I’ll explain later, Saiko.”

“And hey, Aura’s just a disappointment,” Urie said, waving at the towering figure in the doorway.

“But he’s our disappointment,” said Higemaru, tugging Aura inside and throwing his arms around him.

“That means you’re _not_ our disappointment,” Urie added to Mutsuki.

“Thanks,” muttered Aura.

“Well, my father abandoned Ayato and me for revenge. So did Akira’s. And Amon was raised by Donato Porpora.” Touka tugged the two former CCG agents in the already crowded room. “Karren’s were killed at an early age, as were Hinami’s, Kurona had _Kanou_ as her daddy figure, and I know that Suzuya Juuzou was raised by Big Madam. We’ve all done terrible things as terrible children raised by terrible people. But we love each other still.”

“No hard feelings,” Akira said to Mutsuki as Amon beamed at her.

“I was mad at you,” he whispered. “You were like my mom.”

“I know.” Akira held out her hand. “Can you give me another chance?”

“And me?” asked Kaneki.

“And me?” asked Aura. He winced at Urie’s glare.

“Take it,” ordered Touka, pointing at Mutsuki. “We all like you. God dammit, I like you and you stabbed my stomach. You can at least try to like yourself. You too, Kaneki!”

“Me?”

“Yes, you, Maman,” said Saiko with a sniff.

“Touka and Saiko had quite the conversation,” Hsaio said with a grin.

Mutsuki couldn’t help himself. Laughter bubbled up and suddenly he was crying, but he couldn’t tell why.

“Here. I’ll take your hand,” whispered Akira, grabbing his fingers and shaking them.

“Please forgive me.” Kaneki wrapped his arms around Mutsuki.

“I already did,” whispered Mutsuki as a sob rose in his throat. “Kirishima is right. It’s myself I can’t forgive.”

“Me too,” said Kaneki, wiping his eyes. “Then let’s learn together? Sensei and pupil?”

Mutsuki’s face glowed his answer as he wrapped his arms around Kaneki.

 

“It’s morning, but we’re allowed until the afternoon for sleep. You should sleep, too.” Suzuya hopped onto his bed. “For the ghoul minion.”

“I’m sorry,” said Nami quietly from the doorframe. She fought the urge to smile at the phrase _minion ghoul_.

“For leaving?” Suzuya blinked.

“Yes. It must have worried you when I was gone.”

Suzuya looked at the floor and rocked back and forth. “I thought you were hunting.”

“I know.” Nami felt the sting of shame.

“I know you can’t eat here, and you need to.” Suzuya looked into her eyes. “Your body can’t take itself now.”

Nami hung her head. “I don’t – I’d rather be hungry than murder.”

“I used to kill so I’d feel less pain. With Madam.” Suzuya nibbled his fingernails. “I wouldn’t blame you if you did. And made it fun, like me.”

“And I don’t blame you for not trusting me. Or … whoever this is.” Nami glanced at her slightly rounder stomach.

“What are you going to call it?” Suzuya stood on his bed and tiptoed to the edge closest to her. He looked almost normal height.

Nami smiled nervously. She’d had plenty of time to think, but what if he disapproved? “If it’s a girl, Niji. It means rainbow. You know, like the symbol of promise after rain.”

“That’s pretty.” Suzuya nodded. “What if it’s a boy?”

“I was thinking Juuzou.” Nami peered at him through her long, long lashes. “Because you’ve been kind and brave. I’d hope he’d be like you.”

Suzuya stared at her for a moment.

“You should name him Yukinori Shinohara. After Mr. Shinohara,” he declared when he’d recovered.

“Juuzou Yukinori, then.” Nami blushed. “You ought to give yourself more credit. You’re a good person, Juuzou.”

“I wish…you didn’t have to die.” Suzuya blinked back his emotions. She was kind. She liked who he was. And she’d never wanted to kill, which was more than he.

Nami caught his hand and squeezed it. “I like you too much. I wish…I wish the world were different.”

There was one organization fighting for difference, Suzuya realized. The rest – CCG, Aogiri, the Restaurant – wanted stagnancy. Even the waves of the Clowns were repetitive.

He was going to go. Suzuya squeezed her hand back. “I’m going to take you back. To GOAT. We’re going to save you and your baby.”

Nami sputtered. “J – Juuzou. Why?”

“Because ghouls aren’t bad.” Suzuya’s voice broke. “People are, whether they’re human or ghoul or both. There’s fathers and mothers and friends in both.”

He felt something soft and ticklish brush away his cheeks. Nami was wiping his tears with her hair. But she was crying, too.

“I’ve always seen you as a possible friend, you know, human,” she said with a soaked smile.

“You’re always been my friend. Just like – like Haise.” Suzuya wrapped his arms around her.

Tender lips replaced her hair on his cheek.

“O – oh.” Suzuya’s eyes widened.

“Are you okay?” Nami drew back. “I just – I just thought you deserved a kiss.”

Suzuya stared at her, his delicate fingers on his cheek where she’d kissed him. How could he describe – how sweet – like – “It felt like a lollipop tastes.”

Nami broke into peals of laughter.

“Can I kiss you?” Suzuya leant forward.

Her eyes sparkled, but all she could manage was a nod. What was happening?

His lips tickled her cheek, and, unable to contain her excitement, Nami found herself turning her head to meet his mouth with her own.

Suzuya gasped slightly.

“You taste sweet,” he mumbled, his lips still on hers.

“So do you,” she replied with a wink.

Suzuya shoved her back playfully. “Are you going to eat me after I said I’d help you?”

“Obviously,” she scoffed, pulling him closer to her.

As his lips wrapped around hers, Suzuya wondered what it would be like to marry her, to love her forever and revel in the ghoul nature that made her _Nami_.

“Are you still crying?” His eyes were wide.

Nami sniffled and wiped her eyes. “I never thought I’d kiss someone I cared for. I – I like you, and I trust you, and I believe in you and who you are.”

“Why would you say that?”

“Because it’s true. And sometimes it helps to hear it. So Kanae told me.” She rolled her eyes.  
            “She’s right, I think. I like – I like hearing that. You tell me I’m good, and you’re not going to hurt me.”

Nami’s eyes melted. “Never.”

“So are we in love?”

“I believe we are, heaven help us.” Nami smiled at the ceiling.

Suzuya squeezed her so tight he fell on top of her. “I love you!”

She giggled into his hair. “You know I love you.”

He became oddly aware of a sensation in his pants he hadn’t felt much before and scrambled to sit up proper. “Oh – oh. Is your baby okay?”

Nami rubbed her stomach. “You don’t weigh that much, Juuzou.” She propped herself up on her elbows. “Is something wrong?”

Suzuya’s face burned. But if they were in love, they shouldn’t have secrets, right? “I thought – I thought I was broken.”

“Maybe in the sense that rocks are broken into sculptures.” Nami’s heart pounded as her hand slithered to his hips. “There?”

Suzuya nodded.

A smile crept back onto her face. “Remember I was broken, too.”

“I’m scared,” he whispered.

“Me too.” Nami buried her head in his shoulder. “Let’s just cuddle tonight. We can face tomorrow, uh, this afternoon.”

Suzuya pulled his quilt over them. She was soft and smooth and snuggly. With her, exciting finally felt safe.


	11. Over the Line

**Chapter Eleven**

**Over the Line**

 

“I’m sorry,” Aura cut in. “I’m just having a hard time with the fact that you’ve been part ghoul all along. Forgive me.”

“Your sarcasm isn’t helping,” Urie said.

“Neither is you antagonizing him,” Kaneki replied, drawing a sneer from Urie.

“It’s not like I could help it,” snapped Hsaio. She’d ordered everyone but the Quinxes gone from Mutsuki’s room, but this was still killing her. “I’ve fought against my nature my entire life, don’t you understand?!”

“You already told all of GOAT except us?” demanded Higemaru. “Don’t we mean anything to you?”

“You mean the most!” Hsaio snarled, clenching her fists. “So much I had to tell you last, when I was most prepared.”

“We’ve been fighting for a lie. My father…” _Died for a lie_. Urie swallowed and looked to the garden outside, where Akira met his eyes and smiled as if she understood precisely how he felt. And maybe she did.

“I still love and trust you, Hsaio,” said Saiko, scooting over to sit against her.

Hsaio’s face brightened. “Really?”

Saiko clasped Hsaio’s black ponytail and began braiding her hair. Her hands needed something to do. “Yeah. I’m part ghoul now, too. Does it really make a difference whether we became part ghoul or were born as one?”

“Why don’t you kiss already.”

“Urie!” gasped Kaneki.

Urie shrugged. “Mutsuki told me to say that.”

“It’s true,” squeaked Mutsuki clapping his hands over his cheeks. “Isn’t it?”

Hsaio’s mouth was open, her cheeks pink. “I’ve never met anyone like Saiko, yes. But –”

“But nothing!” Saiko yanked Hsaio by her ponytail and planted her lips on hers.

“Really, we can’t be mad at you,” said Mutsuki with a smile.

Hsaio pressed her lips against Saiko. Happiness like warm springtime floated through her. But when she pulled away, she had to say it.

“I have a shorter lifespan, Saiko. So do all the failed half-ghouls. I’ll be dying by the time I’m in my thirties.”

For a moment, Saiko sat still. Then she gasped. “Then we’ll find a way around that, too! If we’re finding a way around ghouls eating people, surely we can save you, Hsaio!”

“While we’re celebrating our newest couple,” said Urie, taking no small pleasure in Kaneki’s sweaty, anxious smile, “Mr. Tsukiyama has just texted you, Kaneki.”

He lifted the phone. “He said it’s an emergency.”

 

A gravelly voice rang out just as she’d locked the door behind her. “Nishino?”

Kimi bared her teeth and rolled her eyes. “Who are you and what are you doing in my apartment?”

She wanted _sleep_ , dammit.

“Your friend,” said the now-soft, familiar voice. Nishiki’s lanky figure appeared in the doorframe to her bedroom, still bespectacled and tousle-haired.

Kimi gasped.

He grabbed her and pulled her close to him. “Is there any reason CCG has guards watching your apartment?”

“How did you get around them?” she demanded, squeezing him tighter and tighter.

“I had some Great Wheel Arc members distract them.” Nishiki lifted her chin to see her eyes. “I thought you promised to stay out of danger.”

“I thought you promised to never see me again while there was danger,” she replied.

“Touché.”

“You know it.” Kimi caught her breath. “Nishiki, why are you here?”

“Because I wanted to see you again. I’ve gone years abiding this transient life without you.” Nishiki sank onto the bed and lowered his head. “I liked to imagine you married and successful, and that made me happy. But then I found out what you did at Kamii – that you couldn’t abandon me after all I said, and I decided one night with you, even if I die, is worth more than living until I’m eighty.”

“I agree,” she whispered, siting besides him and reaching out to stroke his cheek. “I love you, Nishiki.”

He snorted. “You know I love you now.”

“I have to tell you.” Kimi winced. “There are guards outside my building because I work for CCG.”

 

            “This won’t be a problem, really.” Furuta swiveled back and forth, back and forth, behind his desk. Whee! “I know how to handle these investigators.”

            “Do you, sir?” Kanou was ready to crush this runt and feed him to his experiments.

            “Indeed.” Furuta bared his teeth in a feral smile. He pressed a button. “Ui, send Special Class Suzuya up here.”

            “Yes, sir,” drawled Ui’s voice.

            “You see? The dead hold the living hostage. That’s how it’s always been.” Furuta laughed. “Isn’t it great?”

            “It is,” said Kanou with a cool smile. He slowly rose to his feet. “I’ll be on my way now. Nishino estimates a few weeks more.”

            “Do you trust her?”

            Kanou’s eyes gleamed. “As you said. The dead hold the living hostage.”

            “I’ll take that as a yes.” Furuta waved him out.

 

            “We’ll tell – Kaneki – about the dead, and we’ll solve this and live together,” Nishiki panted as he lay atop Kimi.

            She glanced at the cell phone strewn across the floor. “We should probably call him.”

            “Can it wait a minute?”

            “Or a few.” Kimi pulled his weight back onto her.

 

“I’m actually being serious for once.” Amusement lingered in Furuta’s voice. “You learned your behavior from Yukinori Shinohara.”

Suzuya’s heart thundered at his name. “Yes. Mr. Shinohara…loved me.”

            Furuta raised an eyebrow. Love? “Well, my dear, that’s perfect!”         

“Perfect?” Suzuya stiffened.

“Yes, obviously.” Furuta rubbed his palms together. “You don’t tell anyone about the little secret you found last night, and I’ll keep Papa Shinohara’s life support on and your little whore away from the Oggai. She _is_ pretty, isn’t she?” His brows touched. “Though I’m surprised she appeals to you.”

Suzuya wasn’t sure what the director meant to insinuate – his queerness or his mutilation – but he found his face bright red. Words eluded him. He was supposed to be ashamed, wasn’t he?

“Best of both worlds. Your family intact, mine shattered as it should be.” Furuta yawned. “Hey, I’ll even raise you a better deal: I use our new ghoul biology to restore your beloved Shinohara.”

Furuta wanted to watch him choose between Shinohara and Nami. Suzuya’s hands grew clammy. He felt as if he were back before Madam.

“So you’re going to keep that pretty mouth shut, am I right?” Furuta giggled.

_Stay quiet and earn good-boy points._

“I need a promise. Be a good boy.” Furuta’s eyes glittered.

_You’re so pretty, Rei. Smile for me._

“Okay,” Suzuya whispered, his shoulders slumping forward. “Okay.”

 

            “I have a plan,” Saiko said dramatically as she pranced into the parlor where over half of GOAT had gathered.

            “Saiko?”

Kaneki brightened every time Yonebayashi participated, Touka noted. He was a good father figure. She was perfectly happy to be these Quinx’s step-mother figure.

GOAT had been in a tizzy since news of Kimi and Kanou’s research. Half advocated the research stop now, while half – well, mostly a very loud Tsukiyama and Karren – wanted a chance for the dead.

“Okay, look here, all of you. We talked to those white coats and formulated a vague plan.” Hsaio nudged Saiko. “It was mostly Saiko’s idea. I’m just the muscle.”

Touka caught her eye and smiled.

“What does your aunt mean to you, Aura?” asked Saiko.

“Why?” Aura eyed her.

“Because now’s your chance for redemption,” she said sweetly. “And you’re not the only one. We’ve all got someone to talk to.”

 

“I can’t let him do this.” Suzuya shook his head and frantically stabbed the needle into his arm. “He’s trying to tear me apart.”

“Using _me_.” Nami grabbed the needle and thread. “I’ve got this.”

Suzuya drew a deep breath. “Okay.”

“You could turn me back in instead of to GOAT. I’d be fed and he’d lose half his bargain,” Nami said.

Suzuya shook his head so wildly his hair flew in his eyes. “No, I can’t!” He scrunched up his face. “You need to go to GOAT.”

“Hey.” Nami stopped stitching and traced the needle jabs with her finger, careful not to touch the blood. She didn’t want to upset him by sipping it. “Were you hurting yourself just now?”

Suzuya’s eyes filled with tears. He looked down at the ground. “I’m bad.”

“For what, remembering Madam?” Nami threw her arms around him as she began to cry. “You won’t be held hostage by anyone every again if I can help it. You’re not bad, Juuzou. You’ve never been bad.”

“I want to be good.” Suzuya sobbed into her shoulder.

“You are.”

“She hurt me when I was good.”

“I will never treat you like that, and neither would your squad nor GOAT,” Nami reassured.

Suzuya nodded.

“And neither would Mr. Shinohara.” Nami cracked a smile. “Maybe I could get him to like me.”

“I mean, you won me over,” Suzuya squeaked. He leant over to nibble her lip.

Nami giggled.

“You should do it. Call GOAT.” He breathed, fishing the disposable phone Hanbee’d bought out his pocket. “But can I hold you?”

“I would like that.”

 

“I don’t believe him,” Akira said, nestling herself in Amon’s arms. “I just can’t believe he killed Arima.”

“It does seem out of character,” admitted Amon, humbled at the beautiful woman snuggled against his chest. Suppose someone saw them here, in the garden?

“Even – even knowing how my father hurt ghouls,” said Akira slowly, “I could never have hurt him. It – it only makes me wish I could wrap my arms around him again. To have the chance to forgive him.” She heaved a sigh. “So how could Kaneki, who had Arima as his only father figure, kill him?”

“There were times,” Amon said, “I dreamt of killing Donato.”

“I see.”

“I feel he must die. For all my orphaned siblings. I hate him. And yet, without him I wouldn’t be who I am.” Amon swallowed. “I want him to be proud of me as I kill him.”

“Do you want to kill him or merely to avenge your younger self?”

“Can those be separated?”

“If Touka Kirishima is as wise as she seems…I think so,” Akira confessed.

“Both. Perhaps.” Amon tightened his embrace as Urie Kuki marched towards the shed. “Kuki?”

“We have a meeting in five minutes. I’m tasked with bringing the White Suits,” Urie said briskly, shoving a key in the lock.

“I saw Naki holding meetings in there earlier,” Akira offered.

“He’s a problem child older than me,” spat Urie.

Akira rolled her eyes at Amon. “Aren’t our children delightful.”

“Indeed,” Amon mused, smirking at Urie. “But, you know, I could talk to Kaneki for you – I think perhaps he’s as miserable and relieved as I would be at mu adoptive father’s death.”

“It hurts, to have Arima compared to Donato,” Akira muttered as Urie kicked open the door with unnecessary force.

“It’s not a comparison worthwhile,” agreed Amon.

Urie’s scream electrified both of them.

“Urie!” yelled Akira as Amon unleashed his kakugan.

The purple-haired investigator was already fleeing through the hedges.

“You better run!” shouted Miza Kusakari from the doorway, her hair messier than normal and her skirt awry. A stark naked Naki peered out from behind her.

 

“Takeomi.” Yoriko twirled into his office, a basket of pastries in her hands. She thrust the basket onto his desk, somehow avoiding the many papers scattered about just so, and wrapped her arms around her fiancé.

“Yoriko – what are you doing here?” Takeomi blinked.

“You’re adorable. Why wouldn’t I be here?” She giggled.

“I mean, I think you are the adorable one.” He pulled her closer to kiss her forehead.

Yoriko pressed her head against his chest. “I – uh – I think it’s time…”

“I’m scared,” he muttered. “Is that okay?”

“Yes.” She smiled up at him. “Let’s go see your father.”

 

“How’s your physical therapy going?”

“Sanny!” Kiyoko Aura whirled around to see her nephew’s hulking silhouette blocking her door. A pink-haired boy bounced behind him.

            “Aunt Kiyoko.” His hair fell in front of his eyes, as always, but he was quite relieved he was spared her expression.

           Higemaru elbowed him, and Aura cleared his throat. “May we come in?”

            “Of course, but you had better tell me what’s happened.” Kiyoko planted her hands on her hips. “So, Sanny, you’re working with ghouls now?”

            Aura cringed as he slid onto her couch.

            “I mean, we practically are ghouls ourselves,” said Higemaru.

            “I didn’t ask you, Touma.” Kiyoko strode over to her nephew and forced his chin up. “What happened, Shinsanpei?”

            “I – I fucked up,” he gasped.

            “Language!”

            “No, Aunt Kiyoko, you don’t understand. Furuta is slaughtering ghouls and using children to do it.”

            “The Oggai.” Kiyoko rested her chin on her knuckles. “I heard of them.”

            “How long before they turn on us?” Higemaru said.

            “You’ve joined forces with our enemies to save your own skin? Sanny, you know better.” Kiyoko eyed him. “There must be more.”

            “It’s my fault,” Aura rasped. “I knew one of our teammates had lost their mind in suffering.”

            “Tooru, no doubt?”

            “Y – yes.” Aura wipe his eyes. “I covered for him because I knew he was after Kaneki Ken. I wanted to cut him to bits for what he did to you.”

            Kiyoko gasped.

            “I just – you’re the only one who ever believed in me, and he cut you down like you were meat,” spat Aura.

            “Vengeance is how you lose, Shinsanpei,” said Kiyoko. “You lose control, you lose trust. Sometimes you lose your soul.” _Kureo_ _Mado’s face floated before her, delighting each time a new quinque was harvested. Every laugh was a disgrace to Kosaka._

            “Well, he’s lost his,” Higemaru said cheerily.

            “Touma!”

            “I think he’s trying to regain it, right?” Higemaru peered up at Aura. “Because they showed us their souls, didn’t they? They helped us escape Furuta when he would have killed Mutsuki. And they’ve been nice to us ever since.”

            “They have,” admitted Aura. “And I don’t deserve it.”

            Kiyoko huffed. “You always said you never deserved anything. That’s not any way to live, Sanny.”

            Aura turned his desperate gaze to her. “Then will you help us?”

 

            The sweet scent of blood wine drifted up Uta’s nostrils, but it was the other scent that caught his attention.

            “You’re back,” he said calmly, popping a green eye into his mouth.

            “Yomo! Long time no see!” Itori shoved the wine bottle towards Uta and pranced towards Yomo, arms outstretched. “What brings you here? Has your world gone…helter-skelter?” She giggled at her own joke.

            Yomo awkwardly embraced her. “Itori. Uta.”

            “Yes?” Uta didn’t glance up. He hadn’t seen Yomo since that night. He didn’t want Yomo’s disapproval.

“Would you look at me, you coward?” Yomo blazed.

“Yomo!” gasped Itori as Uta’s back remained to them.

Yomo rolled his eyes. “Let me finish, Itori.”

“Very well.” She crossed her arms over her chest and pouted.

“I accepted that you were both Porpora’s minions because you were my _friends_. But because you are my friends – I’m going to say this!” Yomo scowled. “We’re getting old, you two. And I’m watching you both commit atrocities without thinking of anyone but yourselves like we were young. Doesn’t it bother you? Uta, did Kaneki mean nothing to you but an amusing distraction? Itori, when Yoshimura helped build you this bar, did you merely think of him as a convenience?”

“I see.” Itori’s face iced over. “You’ve become just like your old manager.”

“I’ll never be Yoshimura. Don’t disgrace his name with mine.” Yomo scoffed. “But I’ve realized I care. I care about my niece and nephew and everyone they love. Fuck, I even care about Arima’s old colleague. But you know I care about you two more.”

“Then let us be who we are,” declared Itori.

“Do you like it?” Yomo seized Itori by her shoulders. “Do you?”

“What do you want?” Uta drawled without a glance.

“Help us. We know CCG’s plans. The dead are being raised, and it will be for all of us living to save ourselves. And by saving ourselves, we save each other.” Yomo stepped backwards. “Will you?”

“Life has no meaning.” Itori shook her head, letting her orange curls cascade back and forth. “No, I won’t help you, Yomo, though I won’t stand against you.”

Yomo closed his eyes.

“So this is where we are.” Uta stood and faced Yomo. “Would you want my help, knowing what I am and why I would help? Truly?”

Yomo didn’t respond. Uta knew the answer.

“I can’t give that to you.” Uta brushed a dark strand from his eyes.

The two men stared at each other, and for a moment, Itori feared they would rekindle their old violence. But before she could intervene, Yomo had spun around and the door slammed shut.

Uta grabbed the bottle by its neck and grinned. “I’m going to need more of these.”

 

“Hi, Quinx.” Suzuya tilted his head. In the dim sewers, they saw merely by the flashlights on their phones, and what they did see had already turned Hanbee’s stomach twice. “Fancy meeting you here.”

Urie stared at the little investigator. “Suzuya.”

“You chose the sewers for irony, didn’t you?” Higemaru said dryly.

“Yup! Nice to see you again.” Suzuya waved. “Is your leader around? You are a part of GOAT now, correct?”

“Why, do you want to be?” Saiko challenged.

“Maybe.” Suzuya wiggled his eyebrows.

“Get real,” scoffed Urie.

“I’m being serious.”

“We all are,” said Takeomi, stepping into Urie’s sight.

“You!” Urie scowled at him and the pretty fiancée hanging onto his arm. “Why are you here?”

“We’re helping GOAT from now on. Unless you do something against humanity’s best interests,” chattered the girl. “I’m Yoriko Kosaka, and I’m assuming you’re Urie Kuki.”

Urie winced. “Oh. Yes.” He gulped.

Around the corner, Touka pressed her hand over her mouth and fought down a scream. Was it too late to run?

Kaneki stared at her.

 _Kiss me to make it better_ , she wanted to yell. But no, he remained frozen.

Old Kaneki would have held her. He should hold her.

Still he hesitated.

After a lengthy pause, Saiko pinched Mutsuki, who immediately entwined his arm with Urie’s. His eyes widened, but Mutsuki saw a faint smile form on his lips.

“Are you two dating?” blurted Suzuya.

“Yes,” said Mutsuki quickly, squeezing Urie to his side.

“More weddings! And cake! Once we survive, of course.” Suzuya flashed a smile at Hanbee. “Isn’t it great?”

Hanbee coughed to hide his pink cheeks. “Um – yes, yes.”

“Hate to break up the bromance, but didn’t our terms involve Kaneki?” A crimson-haired ghoul emerged from behind Hanbee, her stomach noticeably rounder than before. The rest of her, however, looked like skin stretched over bone.

“You!” Urie’s mouth fell open.

“They’re helping you?” Mutsuki demanded with relief.

“Nami!” Kaneki hurtled around the corner into sight, Touka by his side. “You’re alive. Karren will be so relieved.”

“You helped her escape?” Touka eyed their childlike leader.

“Nami is kind.” Suzuya took her hand in his and smiled tentatively. “But she can’t be with me anymore.”

“Oh my god,” whispered Aura.

“You look starved,” Touka said, leaning over the line to grab Nami’s bony hands.

“She’s been living on coffee and vomiting her own flesh,” said Yoriko. “She needs help, Touka. I can’t cook for ghouls.”

Touka gasped. She felt – Yoriko knew. Yoriko _knew_ , and still she helped ghouls. “Yoriko.”

“Did you really not trust me?” Yoriko hissed. “Look me in the eyes! I loved you, Touka!”

With that, she dove over the line to tackle Touka in her embrace.

“It’s hard to look you in the eyes when you’re smothering me,” came Touka’s muffled voice from the cement.

“What information were you going to trade us about Furuta?” asked Kaneki, pulling Nami close to him. Seeing her pregnant and starved hurt – she’d never let on her previous life, and now her body announced it to the world.

“He wants to raise the dead,” said Suzuya.

“We know,” said Hsaio.

“Well. Why don’t we work together, then?” asked Takeomi, stepping closer to Yoriko.

“Takeomi! My best friend is a ghoul!” Yoriko yanked him down into her and Touka’s arms.

“I can still bake you a pudding,” Kaneki said awkwardly, shoving his hands in his pockets. “It won’t make up for anything, but…”

To his shock, Suzuya threw him against the wall and pounced on him.

“Ah!” Kaneki gasped as Suzuya’s embrace practically choked him. “What –I don’t deserve…?”

And then Suzuya Squad and the Quinx Squad were surrounding their two leaders, their faces transformed from frowns to smiles.

 

**Yay, Itori is back, y’all. Oh wait –**


	12. Unmasked

**Chapter Twelve**

**Unmasked**

 

“Look. The best time is Shōwa Day, because Director Washuu would love the irony of reflection turned into action. But we’ll want to raise a test subject first.” Kimi fiddled with her coffee cup. “Kanou’s dead set on one of the Quinxes, Shirazu Ginshi.”

“Shirazu?” Nishiki remembered Kaneki mumbling his name over and over in his sleep. He’d silently cursed this Shirazu.

Maybe he was a different Shirazu.

“Yeah.” Kimi shot him a curious glance, but she knew Nishiki enough to wait.

“I think Kaneki knew him when he was Haise,” Nishiki admitted.

“That explains a lot.” Kimi shook her head. “I’m sure our darling director would love to mess with Kaneki.”

“Are you sure they’re even dead? Is it possibly Kanou’s just made them look dead?”

Kimi rolled her eyes. “For now, they are. Though if Shirazu is an artificial ghoul, he might be an outlier to test. Not that it matters. Kanou will raise him regardless of the science.”

“Fuck Kanou,” said Nishiki.

“I’d rather not,” she said with a sly smile.

Nishiki choked. “ _Kimi_?”

“I learned my mouth from you. Take it as a compliment!” Kimi bopped him atop his head. “So, how many allies did we get?”

“In CCG, it looks like we have long-standing families and a few favors collected by Marude and Suzuya Squad to count on. Plus the Great Wheel Arc.”

“But on the ghouls’ end? The clown friends didn’t agree?”

“No.” Nishiki sighed.

Kimi groaned. “This is their future, too. What don’t they understand?”

“They’re entrenched in survival of the fittest. Like I was.” Nishiki shrugged. “I don’t blame them, really.”

“Then can you reach out again?” Kimi bit her lip. “We could really use their talents. The director will be looking to tear us apart. But if the shapeshifters are on our side, maybe we can mess with their minds first.”

Nishiki shook his head. “You have an amazing mind.”

“Only where necessary.” Kimi reached into her pocket and unscrewed a tiny vial. “Ready?”

“Bring it on.” Nishiki held out his cup as she poured both cream and a specially concocted powder inside.

“Drink up.”

 

“How are you feeling?” Hinami watched Nami slowly chew her meat.

“Hungry,” she admitted, glancing away. Mirumo’s kitchen was as large as Suzuya’s entire apartment, brightly decorated and sparkling clean. And everything was ornately carved with just the right details – though she couldn’t discern what exactly they were. She merely knew it looked perfect, fit for royalty.

And yet bloody flesh sat at the center of her plate. “Ah …”

Suzuya sat watching her, his eyes brimming with interest.

“Doesn’t this bother you?”

“Not really. I used to chop people up for the restaurant. Just makes me sad you have to eat people.” He shrugged, and Nami leaned over to hug him.

His heart fluttered at her kagukan, openly displayed before him.

Hinami winked at Ayato, who sat uncomfortably in the corner. “Ayato and I started dating.”

Nami dropped her fork. “Really?”

“Yes,” grumbled Ayato.

“Oh! That’s beautiful; I’m so happy for you.” Nami grinned and turned to Suzuya. “When I first came here, Hinami had recently escaped Cochlea and Ayato took care of her every need. It was precious.”

“Precious! Please never call me that again.”

“But you are,” Hinami teased.

Ayato buried his red cheeks in his hands. “Ugh, Suzuya, want to go exchange war stories? I can give you Aogiri’s side.”

“Have fun,” Nami said dryly as Suzuya’s face brightened. “Just so you know, you two are perfect for each other … But if you hurt her, Ayato, I’ll eat you.”

She winked nervously. Did they understand her joke? Was it okay to joke now?

“I’ll eat you first, pregnant or not,” Ayato shot back, rolling his eyes.

She sighed in relief.

“Then I’d have to kill you,” Suzuya told him, motioning to the quinque briefcase on the stool besides Nami.

Ayato paled. “Then my sister will kill you.”

Suzuya pursed his lips. “Then my squad will kill your sister.”

“Then Kaneki will kill you all, and you might deserve it.” Hinami laughed.

 

“Oh, God, what did I do?” moaned Nishiki, hunched over the toilet bowl. Retch after retch racked his body.

“Nishiki, I’m so sorry,” whispered Kimi.

“It’s fine,” he rasped. “First tries always fail, right? Like the first time we made love?”

Kimi couldn’t resist a giggle. “I don’t think that was a fail.”

“What’s that pink medicine you took that time you ate that poisoned curry?”

“Pepto-Bismol?”

“Let me try it.” Nishiki held out his arm. “Might as well see if I can at least keep medicine down.”

“Are you sure?” Kimi was more than ready to declare this a failure and move on before Nishiki sickened further.

“Yes!”

“Fine!” Kimi strode to her kitchen and returned with a pink tablespoon. “Drink up, Nishiki.”

He swallowed. “You know, I think my gag reflex was a little less then.”

            Kimi tapped her foot against the tiled floor. “You’re lying.”

            “Yup.”

            “There’s many more molecules to try. Tonight, you’re done.” Kimi threw the full spoon into the sink. Pink splattered across the creamy porcelain.

            Nishiki felt her hands on his shirt, hauling him up. “To bed with you, Nishiki Nishio!”

 

            “He doesn’t seem happy. Still.” Kurona flopped onto her bed and stared at the ceiling.

“I’ve noticed.” Touka swallowed and clutched the pink stuffed rabbit he’d managed to buy her this afternoon.

 _What kind of idiot risks exposing himself for a rabbit?_ she’d yelled, grabbing the animal tight, because heaven knew she couldn’t hold Kaneki like that. Granted, it’d been weeks since the raid on :Re, but the risk remained unnecessarily potent.

“That was sweet of him.” Kurona smiled uneasily. She wasn’t quite certain what to make of Touka, or the fact that Rei – no, Juuzou – was now on their side.

“You’re upset about Juuzou,” Touka noted.

Kurona sighed. “Nami can do better. He treated me and Shiro like we were – _meat_ playthings!” Her kakugan ignited.

“I know.” Touka hesitated.

“What?” Kurona demanded.

“What do you mean?”

“If you have something to say, you better say it.”

Touka threw the rabbit towards Kurona. “Hold this. Um, well, Kurona – I’m in no position to judge Suzuya. I…I’m the Suzuya in Akira’s story, the one who killed her father. I’m mad for you, and I’m mad for Shiro, but I am no better.”

“You _are_ better,” Kurona tossed back. “You didn’t make it into a game. You had motivation. Did he? No, I don’t think so.”

She pressed the ever-oozing wound in her stomach. “ _I miss her_.”

“I know.” Touka swallowed. “I missed Kaneki every day when I thought he was gone. I moved on, but the day I found out he was alive – it’s one of my happiest memories.”

_And now I’ve moved back, back to watching him kill himself for us when we’ve never asked him to._

“How did you move on?” Kurona peered at Touka as a tear dripped onto the rabbit. “I miss her so much.”

Touka had no idea if losing a twin was worse than an ordinary sibling, but she knew she’d go crazy if Ayato died. “Friends. Family.”

“I have neither.”

“I’m your friend.” Touka held out her hands. “If you’d want that.”

“M – maybe.” Kurona’s lips trembled. Panic rose in her – she couldn’t talk about Shiro anymore, as if Shiro were never coming back. If the dead could live, could Shiro? She wasn’t against that, and GOAT was.

They had to change the subject.

“Tell me more about Kaneki.”

“Tell me more about Takizawa!” Touka flicked her fingers.

Kurona’s mouth hung open. “Huh?”

“You know, they’re both determined to die for others when said others would rather them stay alive,” mused Touka. “Perhaps we can teach them a lesson.”

“ _Huh_?!”

“Look at you, pretending you don’t care that the love of your life abhors your misdeeds.” Itori raised her glass towards Uta.

“Don’t you have somewhere else to be?” he asked politely.

“Nope.” Itori shoved her blood wine into his tattooed fingers. “Drink up and tell me all your secret feelings. We all know you have them. It’s been almost two months; you must be simmering with _feelings_.”

“Yes, I’d like to hear them.”

Uta glanced behind him to see Donato Porpora’s figure looming in HySy’s doorway.

“Donato!” Itori cheered. Internally, however, she cursed that wretched clown. School was better without the teacher.

“You can’t ignore poor Yomo, especially with intel vital at the moment.” Donato’s kagune slithered down Uta’s cheek. “What kind of son are you?”

“The kind who doesn’t care about you,” Uta told him cheerfully.

Donato’s eyes gleamed with amusement. The feeling was mutual. “Word has it they’re planning something large during Golden Week.”

“Baa, baa.” Uta sipped his wine. “I’ll rectify things with Yomo soon. There’s always a calm before the storm. That’s the best time to stir up mischief.”

“Mischief.” Itori giggled. She perpetually acted vapid before Donato, but she couldn’t stop herself. “We’ll _both_ go and make it up to Yomo.”

 _Now scram_.

“Good.” Donato nodded as his kagune vanished. He backed out of the mask shop, hoping that wearing his mask was enough to appease Uta.

Probably not, and he didn’t really care. Amon was more his son than Uta, anyway.

When the doorbell rang two seconds later, Uta briefly entertained the notion of dicing Donato into tiny cubes, like he’d done to Renji’s allies twenty years ago.

“I’ll get it.” Itori patted his shoulder with as much sympathy as she could muster.

 

“Why are you crying?” Every day now, Suzuya hurried over to GOAT after another boring day at CCG. ‘The waiting game,’ as Kaneki called it, sucked, but at least Furuta seemed suspicious at last.

“N – nothing.” Nami smiled through her tears. _Shit_ , he’d finally caught her during one of these moments. “It’s just hormones, I think. And – and sometimes I just feel him – him, the father – on me. And I hate it.”

Suzuya closed the door to her room behind him.

“I hate that this thing is his,” Nami said angrily. At moments like this, she hated her body itself.

Suzuya just watched. He hadn’t seen her lose her temper before. It was rather fascinating. But he wished she would feel happy.

“I can’t believe I’m letting a monster live in me,” Nami spat.

“You’re not a monster, and neither is Juuzou,” said Suzuya stubbornly.

Nami forced a smile. “I hope not. There’s no guarantee, is there?”

“We’ll be good parents. I – I don’t know how, but we will. We’ll get married after this, right?” Suzuya smiled at her.

“Yes,” Nami promised, praying she wasn’t victim to fantastical whimsy. “You didn’t ask for this, baby, did you?” She poked her stomach.

Suzuya gasped as she jerked suddenly to fall back against the wall. “Nami, what’s wrong?”

“I – I think –” Nami’s eyes sprung wide. “Feel for yourself.”

Her hand guided Suzuya to her stomach. He felt a stirring, almost like a murmur of touch, within. “Oh!”

“He’s moving.” Nami instantly regretted fretting over her child’s morality. “He’s alive.”

“Juuzou.” Suzuya pressed both hands against her belly as the whir of life continued. His face grew red and he let out a shriek. “Sorry.”

“I’m glad you’re excited.” Nami kissed his cheek.

“How could I not be? Three more months, right?” Suzuya shook. “I want to meet them and see if I can’t get a ghoul baby to like candy.”

“With Kimi’s research, I hope he can enjoy candy with both of us.”

 _“What the hell?!”_ Tsukiyama’s shriek reverberated up his multistoried home.

 

“Special delivery!” chattered a tangy female voice.

Frowning, Kaneki shoved his way towards the parlor, where most of GOAT had already gathered at Mirumo’s pleas.

“No way. Why aren’t you dead?” Touka burst out.

Eto Yoshimura sat in the center, chuckling to herself. Her kakuja wrapped around an instantly recognizable tattooed mask-maker. A hand-and-footless version of him, at any rate.

“Even now, you’re still bored?” Eto released Uta, who promptly tumbled to the floor. She stepped back, laughter effervescing from her stomach.

She spun around and sniffed. What was that sweet – hmm, baby ghoul. How fun!

Her gaze fell upon a small ghoul with a rounded stomach. “Ah, there you are. I’ve heard about you, Washuu.”

“Don’t call her that,” Mutsuki said. He’d hate to be called Torso. Nami didn’t need to be called Washuu.

“Quinx and humans too! I knew you could, Kaneki.” Eto rubbed her hands together.

“How?” demanded Kaneki. “How do you know about us? And how are you even alive?”

Eto smirked. “How’s the One-Eyed treatment?”

“He hates it,” Seidou grumbled.

Eto ignored him. “I have a present for your old Uncle, Kirishima kids.”

“What have you done to him?” Yomo rolled his eyes. This bitch would love him to show anger at Uta’s imprisonment, and he wouldn’t give her that satisfaction.

“I remember him.” Urie frowned.

“Do you? Do you remember the auction? The clown attack? I’m sure he participated. Did he change faces?” Eto grinned.

Mutsuki paled. _No_.

No-face.

The ghoul grinned at him. He couldn’t look at Renji yet – he felt too naked, too open, like art displayed before it was ready. At least now Renji could face who he really was.

“You really ought to choose better friends, Renji. Suppose it was Touka’s kagune they harvested for their Quinx brats?”

Yomo swallowed. Uta knelt there, balancing on his regenerating hands and feet. His face held the same malevolence and innocence that had first captured Renji all those years ago.

“You?” Nami had met Uta once before, shortly after her first stint with GOAT. “ _You_ took Rize?”

“So what if I did?” Uta smiled at her.

A tremor soared down Yomo’s spine.

“You condemned her back to slavery!” Nami shrieked. Juuzou and Karren clamped onto her arms to prevent her from launching herself at Uta.

Her eyes landed on Yomo. He must be so brokenhearted –

But no, his face remained impassive.

“You knew, didn’t you?” Nami whispered as horror dawned on her.

“Yomo?” demanded Touka after a moment of silence. “Yomo?”

“I suspected,” he said thickly. “I had no proof.”

“Surely that would have been easy to find,” Ayato snapped.

“Uta’s forever sinning and Renji forever looking away,” Eto narrated. “Right, No-face?”

“That’s right.” Uta had no idea what she planned, but he wouldn’t show weakness now. He might be breathing his last. He was already damned. Why not have fun?

“Why are you here?” Kaneki took a deep breath. “R – release Uta.”

“No thanks, I’d rather not.” Eto tilted her head. “Here I was planning on vanishing into the night, allowing your little revolution to succeed –”

 _It’s not his revolution_ , Touka thought as Kaneki’s misery exponentiated. _It’s yours._

“But someone informed me that our dear Kanou is raising the dead, and as you might imagine, that holds particular interest to me.”

 _Arima_ , Kaneki thought.

“But first, I’d like your little plan to expose CCG to have a chance. And you know what kills chances, Kaneki? Idiot friends who trust their diabolical ex-lovers.” Eto jabbed her finger at Yomo as her other hand yanked Uta’s hair, almost affectionately.

Yomo’s cheeks felt hot. “We’re not –”

“You know we were!” Uta cried then.

“Aw, is someone hurt?” Eto mocked. “Or is someone just trying to expose his ex?”

Uta’s eyes glimmered.

Both, Kaneki had to guess.

“And why do you do it?” Eto prompted. “Because you feel all alone and unloved. Aw, poor baby. You never grew out of the home where your daddy left you.”

Well, in truth his mother had kicked Donato out to protect her baby. She’d once, at Noro’s prompting, tried to use her story to convince Eto to forgive Kuzen.

“And did you?” Uta threw back.

“Never. It isn’t something you can escape yourself.” Eto smiled, twirling her emerald hair around her index finger. “But other people can lead you free.”

“Oh, that’s right, no one cares about you.” She leant forward to mock-whisper. “Does it feel good to pretend to be someone else? Does it feel good to, for a moment, see love reflected towards your illusion? Isn’t that everything you want, poor baby Uta? Everything you’re too cowardly to take for yourself?”

“No one will mourn for you when you die.” Uta responded with a sneer. “In the end, you’re just like me.”

“I’d mourn for her,” Naki called.

“I’d mourn for her over you,” agreed Tsukiyama, drawing Karren closer to him. “Though I’d still rejoice, _madame_.”

“Ah, did you show Master Shuu your skills at last?” Eto cried, recognizing the violet-haired girl.

“I was already strong before I met you,” Karren said evenly. Tsukiyama beamed at her, and that was all that mattered.

“An apple ripe for the picking,” Eto teased.

“If you touch her again – with your filthy hands –” Tsukiyama squeaked in rage, and Mirumo and Chie moved closer to him.

“Uta.” The room fell silent as Yomo stared down his best friend. He glided up to the odd ghoul, staring down at him with the weight of Jupiter.

Uta’s lips curled.

 _Bam_! Yomo’s kick sent blood spraying from Uta’s nose.

Uta gasped, but Yomo already had him by the throat, dangling in midair. “Are you a fool? You think Itori doesn’t love you? You think _I_ don’t?”

He shook the tattoo artist back and forth, and Uta _let_ him. He dangled limp in Yomo’s hands.

“What is wrong with you?” Yomo dropped Uta back onto his feet.

Uta shrugged, avoiding Renji’s eyes. “It’s who I am.”

“Oh, stop the excuses,” scoffed Touka. “Hell, I can’t believe I’m half your age and _I_ have to be the one to tell you this.”

“Well, as Eto said, I never grew up.”

“What are you gonna do now?” Eto cackled. “You’re surrounded by friends you betrayed and people you preyed upon, and you’ve burned your last bridge. At least I had a purpose for what I did. You hurt people for fun while the world burned, and now you’re caught in the flames.”

Yomo turned his face away, igniting a spark of horror in Uta’s mind.

For a moment, Uta was simply blank. He could feel or think nothing. And then - and then rage volcanoed forth, and all he could think was he had to hurt them until they understood the rage.

Suzuya stepped forward, hand on his quinque. With a quick nod at Urie, Mutsuki unfurled his bikaku and followed Suzuya.

“Ah, little pets.” Uta’s eyes glowed. “Both of you.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t kill you back then,” Mutsuki told him. “I’m not your plaything anymore.”

“Aren’t you?” Uta transformed into Haise.

“O – oh.” Mutsuki faltered.

“Come, stab and rape me again, monster,” Haise cajoled.

“No!” Mutsuki doubled over. “No, you tricked me.”

“You took advantage of his mental health,” Saiko yelled.

“Just like the auction.” Urie’s face blazed.

“Suzuya.” A bulky, balding man called to him, and from the ire in Juuzou’s eyes Nami knew who he had to be.

“Why are you doing this, you sadistic bastard?” she choked out. _Leave Shinohara out of this!_

“Renji.” Now Uta was Hikari, gesturing to his old friend.

         His old friend who still wouldn’t look at him.

        There was no Renji and Uta anymore. There never had been. In his last few minutes, he could make it all meaningless.

Renji’s eyes met him, a fury of dark ice boiled quintessentially Renji Yomo. His voice was ragged. "Finally, my apathy is less destructive than your pranks."

Hirako drew his breath. The ghoul Arima killed, the sister Renji loved.

 _What are you doing, you sadistic bastard? What are you …doing?_ Renji wanted to scream. These attempts to draw hatred…Uta was pathetic.

Renji’s kagune swept out and pierced Hikari through her heart.

“You idiot!” Yomo grabbed the still-bleeding Uta and squashed his mouth against his.

Ayato shrieked, and Hinami took her chance to dash out his arms.

She ran forward and wrapped her arms around Uta. “Stop trying to end Yomo’s love, Uta,” she whispered in his ear. “It’s not going to end. You _can_ live with him. And we’re your friends, too.”

“Hinami-chan…” Uta gurgled.

“She’s right,” Yomo said roughly. “Don’t you remember?”

Remember? Fighting Yomo over a dozen dead bodies, dreaming of shredding his limbs, only to wind up making love under the moonlight and fleeing before his feelings overtook him – Oh, Uta remembered.

“Uta.” Yomo knelt alongside him. “Let me love you.”

_You violent Asshole! You'll get us all caught!_

_Better than an apathetic boor. If you don't enjoy life, can you even be certain you live?_

         "I won't let you push me away this time, you awful, vibrant - ghoul."

         _I can't fight you._ "I can neither live with you nor without you," he whispered.

"We're – we can – I mean – I'm going to manage the former," Yomo stammered. He sounded angrier than he meant, because hell if he ever shared his feelings.

 _I’m bad_. It was that simple. Uta looked at Yomo plainly. To change now – to claw one’s way to unreachable redemption solely for sentiment – it was beneath him.

But Renji’s eyes looked back at him: unyielding, nonjudgmental, forgiving. No matter what he did, Renji wouldn’t blame him.

That made him want better.

Uta stared at his memories in Yomo's swirling storm eyes. A gaping hole had devoured his desire to lash him. Or anyone. He was tired and surrounded by enemies he'd made. And one enemy who loved him.

"Kiss me," he murmured, and Yomo's lips and teeth sank into his. Their lips lips melded into one and, for once, he thought he might learn to live with this ghoul after all.

“Finally.” A peach-haired ghoul appeared in the threshold, holding a glass of blood alcohol aloft.

“Pour me one, dear. Looks like your plot paid off.” Eto smiled at Itori.


	13. And What is Wrong with Love?

**Chapter Thirteen**

**And What is Wrong with Love?**

 

“So.” Amon drummed his fingers on the table before him.

Uta smirked as he leant back against Yomo.

“You know the Priest. Donato Porpora.” Amon’s gaze didn’t waver. Uta quite liked intense men like him.

“More than know.” Uta nibbled on a dark eye.

Amon tried, unsuccessfully, not to shudder.

Uta noticed his discomfort and made a slurping noise.

“Can you not?” Amon burst out.

“Can or will?” Uta felt Renji’s hand tighten on his shoulder and sighed. “Fine. You wanted to talk. So talk.”

“I don’t trust anyone related to Donato.”

“Because you, much like me, can’t abide the thought of how your father – of sorts – betrayed your trust? Abandoned you, emotionally if not physically?” Uta focused on chewing the eye. They were his favorite. Yomo had brought them to him. “Or…because you’re self-righteous and hate that you can’t completely hate him?”

Amon scowled.

“I can’t either,” Uta said brightly, popping the rest of the eye in his mouth. “You’re much more his son than me.”

“Pardon me?” Amon froze.

“I used to tell myself I was so violent because of him. But now I think I just liked it. The chaos. It’s all I know – the thrill of being alive.” Uta smiled. “But you understand contemplation, loyalty, and you even wear his cross.” He examined the tattoos on his arms. “I’m a tattooed homosexual.”

Amon shook his head. “That shouldn’t matter.”

“It did to Donato.”

Memories of Yomo’s body around him, caressing his skin and slipping inside him, flew through Uta’s mind. And Donato’s expression when Uta had proudly declared that he’d turned an enemy into a lover, just like the Bible said.

“Well, Donato was wrong,” Amon said crossly, fumbling for the chain around his neck. “H – here.”

He didn’t want to hold out his hand, offer it towards this creepy fool. But he felt he must.

“Always doing the right thing. Why don’t you try what you want for once?” Uta teased, waving his hand. “Put that away. It belongs to you.”

Amon clutched the crucifix to his heart. “I want to hate it.”

“But you don’t.” Uta tilted his head. “When it comes down to it and I distract Donato, will you be the delivering the final blow?”

“What?” Amon started.

“Someone has to. There can be no peace with an unrepentant child-killer. Or so you probably tell yourself. To me, he plays the world for puppets and I’d rather his version not come to fruition. But he won’t stop, so we’ll have to kill him.” Uta spoke casually, as if discussing the weather.

“I – ” Amon sputtered.

“Neither of you will, because I’m going to.” The door flung open and Urie Kuki stomped in, arms crossed.

“Excuse me?” Uta asked.

“My father caught him the first time. It’s my fate, if such a thing exists.” Urie scowled.

“Honestly, I’ll help you, Urie.” Touma Higemaru walked in. “He killed my uncle. He –” His cheeks reddened.

“Tore your limbs off?” Urie scowled. “I can’t let that happen again. I promised your uncle I’d keep you safe!”

“No, he admonished you to train me well.” Higemaru swallowed. “And you have.”

Uta raised his eyebrows. “Looks like we have a team. Whenever the time comes.”

“Why were you eavesdropping, Kuki?” Amon demanded.

“Because I figured you were discussing that piece of shit,” Urie said with a shrug.

Amon rolled his eyes. “How CCG’s training has declined.”

“Says the full ghoul.” Higemaru grinned at him, and Amon couldn’t resist cracking a smile at the younger man’s enthusiasm.

“Speaking of, who knows when daddy dearest will stop by my store, so I’d best be heading back like everything’s normal.” Uta bounced to his feet. He stopped before Amon, their faces inches apart. “By the way, you really should eat more.”

“I don’t need to.”

“The humans are dead anyways whether you eat or not. And you’re going to need your strength.” Uta pulled back and laughed. “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of it.”

“Just what –”

Two minutes later, a very miserable Amon found himself force-fed by a scowling Akira.

 

“Ah, my Okahira.” Furuta caressed the dead man’s cheek. “You served me well.”

“Are you ready?” Kimi asked impatiently.

He did hate impatient women. Furuta rolled his eyes. “Frightened of the dead, are we?”

“Fear of failure, I think,” she confessed, casting her eyes upon the floor.

Furuta frowned at her sudden vulnerability. What was she calculating?

“Well.” Kimi clapped her hands together as Kanou reentered the chamber. “I’ll administer the first serum.”

Furuta danced from foot-to-foot as the needle slipped into Okahira’s dull pupils. How would it feel to have this procedure whilst alive? What would result?

“All set.” Kimi extracted the empty syringe from his eye.

“Perfect.” Kanou shook a vial of cells grown from Noro’s kagukan. Noro, his first victim, sacrificing himself for that silly green-haired child so long ago.

Well, he finally had Noro back, and he could never escape again because he was staying dead. Kanou had burned his corpse. He’d been reduced to cells in petri dishes.

“Here.” Kanou took a defibrillator and pressed it to Okahira’s chest. A wire twisted away into the same eye Kimi had injected. “Ready.”

When the electricity hummed and Okahira’s body jerked, Furuta found himself suspended in reality. He needed this to be real.

What kind of happiness could they give those who’d lost? What kind of pranks and fun, _more importantly_ , he reminded himself.

A ragged breath tore through the silence.

 _Ghouls are going to save the world_. Furuta couldn’t resist giggling. Humans would live by those who killed them.

When Okahira’s eyes fluttered open, Kimi yanked the wire from his pupil as her heart shuddered.

“Drink!” Kanou shoved the vial of cells into Okahira’s mouth. The man gagged and tried to spit it out. He clawed weakly at Kanou, who clamped his jaws shut.

“What’s that?”

“We can bring his body back, but he’ll need daily medicine to bring _who he is_ back.” Kimi watched recognition begin to dawn in Okahira’s eyes. “Otherwise you’d just have a zombie army.”

“That would be difficult to control,” admitted Furuta, nibbling on a strand of hair. _But what possibilities_. “Hey, Okahira!”

“Welcome back. I suggest you do as you’re told,” Kanou told the man.

Oh, this new corpse was larger than him, but he held all the power. Kanou shivered with delight.

 

“How are you alive, Eto?” Kaneki marched onto Mirumo’s patio, the Quinx squad on his heels.

Eto kept her eyes closed, her face tilted towards the golden evening sun. Before her, lush spring buds sparkled with recent rain. When she spoke, she uttered his name in singsong. “Kaneki Ken.”

“No, really, we want to know.” Ayato crossed his arms and shoved his way in front of the Quinx.

“Heard you and Hina are an item.” _Kids_. Eto finally turned her head and beamed at him. “I’m so proud of you.”

“Stop dodging,” Hinami called, sidling up to Ayato.

“Dodging. Now, isn’t that your answer? I dodged death.” Eto wiggled her eyebrows.

“And informed no one but Itori,” Kaneki said dryly.

“We women have to stick together.” Eto shrugged. “If you were to be king, you had to walk on your own.”

“I see.” Kaneki lowered his eyes.

“You really don’t want it, do you?” Ayato snapped.

“Ayato!” Hinami exclaimed.

“No, he’s right.” Urie eyed Kaneki. “What do you want, Kaneki?”

Kaneki flushed. Every time the Quinxes uttered his real name, he couldn’t help himself. He felt free.

“What do you think he wants?” Eto had to wonder if Kaneki knew himself.

“Love,” Mutsuki said softly, reaching out to touch Kaneki’s shoulder.

“We already love you, Maman,” Saiko growled. “We’ll beat it into you if we have to. You and Mucchan.”

Mutsuki choked, but he couldn’t resist a small smile as he felt Urie’s hand rest on his back.

“Of course he does,” Eto purred. “Doesn’t everyone? I would have been dead without Arima, you know.”

“ _What_?” Higemaru gaped at her.

“You think Arima and I had a conspiracy for years and never added spice to our relationship?” Eto tossed her head. “Of course we did.”

“A – Arima?” Kaneki coughed. It still hurt to say his name.

Eto rolled her eyes. _Don’t think I don’t know he killed himself, idiot._

But Arima’s last words held her back. _He needs to find his own path._

Damn that teetotaler. Eto smirked.

“Why, I remember waking up when I was the big spoon and he was the little spoon –”

“Please stop,” Urie said, nausea practically broiling his face.

“I think it sounds cute!” Mutsuki clapped his hands together. Tiny, mischievous Eto with CCG’s grim reaper. If they could work, could he and Urie?

“I think your king’s gone catatonic.” Eto pointed towards a very pale Kaneki.

Beads of sweat decorated his brow. Arima? Sex? Never. If there was every something he did not want to picture –

“Kaneki?” Touka cracked open the door. “What the hell?! What did you do?”

“Nothing but give him details on love,” said Eto slyly.

“What details?” demanded Touka, clenching her fists.

“Spooning,” called Mutsuki. “That’s really it.”

“Oh.” Touka hurried over to Kaneki and shook him. Tsukiyama waited for her outside, expecting her to fulfill her vow. She really shouldn’t have entered a coffee-brewing bet with the gourmet, though she suspected Irimi and Koma had crowned Tsukiyama victor solely to play Cupid.

“Hey, hey Kaneki…” She pressed her lips against his ear. “I’d spoon with you.”

Kaneki’s face turned bright red. “Touka-chan!”

“He speaks,” said Eto, kicking out her legs.

Behind the door, Tsukiyama cried out, “It’s happening!”

 

Ui’d noticed the figure haunting CCG for nearly week now, and he couldn’t ignore this any longer. He even shirked his duties to wait half an hour in the hallway for his appearance. “Okahira.”

“Special Class Ui.” The inspector kept his head lowered, but it was him, all right. He’d died battling the same ghoul as Hairu, hadn’t he?

As Ui opened his mouth, Okahira interrupted him. “Talking to me won’t allay your fears.”

Ui scowled. “The mere fact that you’re here allays my fears.”

Okahira turned away.

Ui’s breath quickened. “You died in the Rose Operation, didn’t you?”

Okahira wanted to laugh, but he wasn't sure he recalled how.

The kindly assistant had told him Furuta had ordered the doctor to withhold his proper medication dose. But Okahira had another theory: she just didn’t want to admit the truth. He was more zombie than man.

He’d been alive less than a week, but the blaze to live remained dead. He was a doll for the man who’d killed him. He was weaker and sadder than he’d ever been, and he couldn’t see his family lest they expose Furuta. Why live if there was nothing to live for?

“It’s the work of Akahiro Kanou, isn’t it?” Ui leaned in closer.

“Why are you talking to me?” Okahira burst out. “For Arima? For Hairu?” He’d seen both their bodies, hadn’t he, lying stagnant while he, no one special, arose.

Ui’s face blanched.

Ah. Ui’d never been good at hiding his feelings.

“She was pretty. Always smiling.” Okahira took Ui’s hands between his cold, dead ones. His soft skin was warm, like hope, like the hope of Hairu Ihei staying apart from this suffering. “Hope is important, Koori Ui. But the dead…do not return.”

“I’m late for my medicine.” Okahira turned around again, head down, feet scuffing against the concrete floor. “If I forget it, back to the grave with me.”

“Thank you for your honesty,” Ui said, puzzled. Okahira lived. Hairu could return. He’d take a sad Hairu over a dead Hairu any day.

 

**Three Weeks Later**

The whizz of flies and smell of rotting ghoulflesh sent reminders of morning sickness straight to Nami’s stomach. She swallowed bile and nodded in approval.

The back door to CCG’s garbage disposal was possibly the most obvious place to launch a sneak attack.

“Scared?” Suzuya asked, running his hands through her luscious ponytail.

“Yes, but also ready.” Nami straightened.

“Stay safe.” Hanbee hesitated for a moment, then wrapped his arms around Suzuya.

“Oh.” Suzuya smiled. “You’ll all do great.”

“So will you two,” said Keijin. “See you on the other side.”

“Hanbee,” Nami said gently.

“Huh?”

“You can let me go now,” Suzuya said with a grin. “I love you, too.”

As soon as Squad Suzuya departed, Suzuya unfurled Jason. “You should stand back.”

 

“Here we go.” Furuta poked Arima’s nose. Their time before his show was short, but what a time it would be! “Him first. For the irony. The Grim Reaper lives!”

“Yes, sir.” Kanou ground his teeth and waved Kimi over.

“Just like you said, we’ll withhold half the medication from the ghouls who weren’t part of CCG.” Kimi nodded towards the bodies of Matsumae, Tatara, and other fallen members of the Rose and Rushima operations.

“Perfection. Oh my.” Furuta practically came at the thought. The investigators would panic. It would be chaos. Brilliant, kaleidoscopic chaos.

“Hey, looks like there’s a new king in town, and it’s not your Kaneki.” Furuta beamed at Arima’s confused, rolling eyes. “You work for me now. Eek!”

The former king strained against his bonds, but his movements were clumsy and uncertain. He wasn’t even acclimated to life yet.

All around them, limbs began flailing around their bonds, and a few wailed. _This is hell, and it’s glorious._ Furuta hugged himself when he spotted Kimi bending over his special pet.

“Wait. Not that one.” Furuta leapt over to Kimi. “No medication. He’s my zombie.”

Kimi eyed the orange-haired quinx. _Shirazu Ginshi_ , his nametag read. “Why?”

“Oh, I’ve plans for him.” Furuta broke into giggles. “Tee-hee.”

He threw his head back. “The rest of you ghoul scum, follow me!”

 

“That’s the signal.” Urie cleared his throat and looked away from Takeomi, who melded back into the crowd alongside his father.

“I wonder what they have planned.” Mutsuki felt a flicker of unease due to Nami’s presence. What if they couldn’t rescue her in time?

“It’s better we don’t know.” Hsaio raised her quinque.

_The cameras will be blocked for five minutes at least until their software catches up. But you’ll only have maybe thirty seconds before the alarm._

Urie hoped Chie was as reliable as Tsukiyama and Karren assured.

“Now.” He yanked open the fire escape and shoved Mutsuki inside.

Aura yanked the door shut behind them, and Urie let out his breath. They’d beaten the alarm.

“Feels odd being back,” Higemaru said softly.

“Sometimes I wish we could all go back.” Saiko shrugged. “I’m silly and I’m not apologizing for it.”

“You shouldn’t have to,” Hsaio assured her.

“Keep moving.” Urie hurried down the stairs. “According to Suzuya, the lab shouldn’t be far...”

A shadow moved around the corner, and Urie frowned. Concern flickered across Mutsuki’s face, too.

 _Everyone should be out awaiting Furuta_. The dead would walk straight into Kaneki’s trap, and Kanou would be left for them.

A silver bikaku quinque leapt around the corner and knocked Saiko back. “Ow!”

“Saiko!” Hsaio cried, but the blue-haired girl shook her head.

“Go get my revenge.” She cradled her broken arm, but due to the human meat GOAT had forced on them, she could already feel the stretch of healing.

“We’ll be the bait.” Higemaru grabbed Aura and followed Hsaio.

“ _God_!” He heard Aura scream.

Urie veered around the corner to see a gangly orange-haired friend, eyes blank, teeth gleaming at the sight of Aura’s nearly bisected torso.

“ _Shirazu_!”

 

“Director, you’re about to be late.” Ui watched the director admire himself in the mirror.

“Come with me, my darling.” Furuta pinched Ui’s cheek the way Hairu used to, and it took all Ui’s strength not to slap him away.

“You’re about to give your speech, remember?” _It’s Golden Day, talk about learning from the past and moving forward, just like Tsuneyoshi used to._

“That’s why I need you! You’ll stand behind me, as usual. But oh! This won’t be usual.” Furuta twirled around, intoning, “Onward towards the stage we go!”

 

As they exited CCG, Ui noted, with some relief, the absence of any body parts or blood-soaked clothing on stage. Still, the eager, enormous crowd frightened him. They spread throughout the CCG lot, spilling into the twilit streets beyond, chanting Kichimura’s name. Girls squealed with delight when he passed and winked at them.

“Ladies and gentlemen!” Furuta bounded onstage with enough energy UI had to wonder if they could just use the director’s human body to raise the dead.

“We’ve got a special show for you tonight. Today is a day of reflection: reflection on our deeds past and present. For we humans have not always been very loyal to our own.” Furuta tapped his chin. “For instance, CCG has recently learned that some of its own agents are working for the vile organization GOAT.”

The crowd booed, teenage girls screamed obscenities, and the Oggai rolled their eyes.

Suzuya Squad was nowhere to be found. Ui swallowed his anxiety. They wouldn’t turn like the Quinx. They were human. Furuta couldn’t be talking about them.

“I’m talking about my Brutus, my Judas, my right-hand: Special Class Koori Ui!” Furuta spun around to clap at him.

Ui stiffened. The fuzzy world tilted, as if he were drunk. This couldn’t be – he must be pranking. “What are you talking about?”

“I think not.” Furuta waved the crowd quiet. “Allow me to prove it.”

The Oggai dragged someone out the CCG’s doors, and Ui screamed.

That pink hair, the face that remained sweet even when exhausted, the fire in her glassy eyes. “Hai – First Class Ihei!”

What sort of prank was the director playing? Did it even matter? She was _breathing_. Ui’s throat burned. He could die happy.

“Aw, his beloved partner,” Furuta cooed.

“She’s alive. You did it!” Furuta had kept his promise, and Ui had never been more thoroughly confounded.

“And you knew know she was a half-ghoul?” Furuta tapped his chin.

Ui stiffened. “Are you crazy? She worked for CCG.”

He scoffed, but his throat began to tingle. Did Furuta want him dead? He was good at exterminations, dammit.

“Hmm, and so did Arima, and Ching-Li Hsaio, and according to our dear little doctor, they were all special experiments. _Failed_ ghouls, but ghouls nonetheless. Funny how both their squads defected.” Furuta grinned. “You’re spying for Kaneki Ken, aren’t you?”

“What – no!” Ui spun around. “Hairu, can you talk? You’ve got to counter his crazy shit!”

Her mouth moved, but no sound came forth.

“You’re a ghoul, aren’t you?” Furuta waltzed over and hugged Hairu, whom Ui suddenly realized had no idea where and how she was. Had he _just_ raised her? “Don’t deny it anymore. Kanou can _only_ bring back ghouls, after all.”

Ui whirled around, but Okahira was nowhere to be seen. Him too? _The dead do not come back … human, do they?_

“Allow me to demonstrate.” Furuta lifted a knife and slit a fine line across her cheek. As soon as crimson leaked out, the flesh fought back, closing as if there had never been a scar.

“H – Hairu.” Ui ran forward and shoved Furuta out of the way. He knelt before her, stroking her healed cheek. “You turned her into a ghoul, you bastard! Hairu, can you hear me? It’s me, Koori.”

Hairu stared at him. Something was wrong, but all she could do was feel it.

“Oh, but I didn’t. The ghoul was already there.” Furuta giggled and motioned forward one of the Oggai.

“Look!” Furuta took the stack of papers they carried and waved them around. “Look at the date, Ui! Before her death – RC count level. Right here. 800.”

Hairu gasped suddenly as her thoughts returned. A tidal wave of horror – Matsumae – T-human – the doctor and a needle in her eye and the bodies – inundated her mind.

Ui knew. Hairu doubled over. CCG wouldn’t forgive him. He’d spend the last moments of his life hating her.

“You’re lying.” Ui’s palms began to sweat as he saw recognition and panic burn through Hairu’s expression.

“Please. Would I ever lie?” Furuta shivered with delight. His arms pulled Ui away from Hairu. “Now, Ui, let’s talk about why you, the pinnacle of morality, are really so horrified.”

“Hairu –” Ui looked over his shoulder, but Furuta put him in a headlock. “Stop!”

“You fucked her, didn’t you?”

“No, I –” Ui paused, gazing desperately out at the audience. _Please help me._

“Bold, moral Ui, giving everything away for another member of his squad.” With a chuckle, Furuta wrapped an arm around him.

A voice cut in. “And what, _arschloch_ , is wrong with love?”


	14. Foe

**Chapter Fourteen**

**Foe**

 

“Shirazu!” Saiko screeched. “You’re here!”

The orange-haired Quinx licked his pale lips as he swayed side-to-side. His eyes were foggy, his movements pure, unfocused violence.

Mutsuki recognized that look, but he didn’t move fast enough when Saiko dove forward.

Shirazu lunged for her, Mutsuki screamed at his own hesitation, and Hsaio threw herself before his quinque.

The quinque easily dispatched her arm and leg – and oh – she felt – so dizzy – and she couldn’t roll over to crawl away.

Hsaio could only grind her teeth as Shirazu loomed over her.

“No!” Saiko wailed. “Don’t you recognize us?”

“Obviously not,” Mutsuki said, holding her elbow. Shirazu wasn’t cognizant of his actions. He wasn’t. Mutsuki would know.

Urie licked his lips but said nothing. He felt as if he were made of shattered marbled as Shirazu swung low towards Hsaio. How – how could they fight Shirazu when it wasn’t even Shirazu’s fault?

“Kimi didn’t mention anything about their state – ” Higemaru exclaimed, rushing forth to break his quinque against Shirazu’s.

But their foe’s cracked, too. _He’ll use his kagune next_. “Furuta must have done something!”

“Ah!” Higemaru missed Shirazu’s unfurling kagune. He was hurled back against the wall, and with a crunch somewhere above his ears, his eyes rolled backward into his skull.

“No,” moaned Aura, using every ounce of strength to summon his kagune. RC bullets whizzed past the zombie, distracting him from Higemaru.

Now Shirazu approached him, and Aura grinned. He would bleed out here, but at least he wouldn’t be a burden.

“Aura, you’re too weak!” Mutsuki whirled around to Urie. “ _Move_! They’re all going to die!”

Urie’s eyes snapped back to reality. “I let him die. This is my fault.”

“No, it’s not!” Mutsuki grabbed Urie by his shoulders and shook him. His bikaku streamed out and tripped Shirazu to buy time. “But _they’re_ about to be our fault. They’re our second generation. We can’t let them die out!”

“We did this once before,” Saiko declared. “For you, Urie. Remember?”

Urie colored at Mutsuki’s questioning eyes.

“We don’t have RC suppressants this time,” Hsaio whispered, sweating in pain from her severed limbs.

“Then we’ll knock him out.” Urie straightened, fire igniting over his face. “There’s got to be a way that doesn’t involve death. Isn’t there always?”

“Saiko. You’re offense. Mutsuki, defend the new Quinx. I’ll be the one taking him down.”

“Hold up, Special Class!” A sandy-haired investigator dashed forward and screeched to a halt on the stairs.

His gaze fell on Nami as a silent Suzuya squeezed her hand. “Who is –”

“The director was right.” Ayumu Hogi cut off Itou Kuramoto.

Nami held her breath as investigators swarmed them. They hadn’t even made it to the basement yet. Well, so much the better.

She felt her hand wrenched from Suzuya’s and tumbled back, teetering on the stairs.

“Nami!” cried Suzuya as she slipped over the edge. Falling couldn’t be good even for a ghoul child. No!

“Oh!” Strong arms caught her, hoisting her back up to solid ground.

“I have to say,” said a quiet voice above her, “I’m disappointed.”

The blood drained from Nami’s face. The grim reaper himself towered above her.

Suzuya flashed a smile at the living dead. “Really? Because, you know, I’m supposed to be the new you, so we decided to finish what you started. I even have a ghoul lover. Isn’t it great?”

Arima’s stoic expression didn’t change.

“I’m sorry, have you lost your memory? Shall I remind you?” Suzuya strained against the hands holding him.

“Take them to the Director’s office,” Arima ordered the investigators. Itou flinched, but nodded. “And gag them both.”

 

“Well, when it’s a ghoul lover, my dear – that is called treason.” Furuta laughed as the loudmouth interloper shoved their way forward.

“No, I don’t think so.” A lanky girl emerged from the crowd, crossing her arms over her pink suit.

Furuta paled.

“Miss me, Washuu?” She smoothed her lilac hair and adjusted her sunglasses as a blue-haired man placed his hands on her shoulders. “Pardon me for saying so, _arschloch_ , but the Tsukiyamas would be much better rulers of society.”

“Well, well, well. We have another two ghouls!” Furuta clapped his hands together.

Tsukiyamas. The ones who’d killed Hairu.

Ui wanted to grab his quinque and behead them – but no, he really didn’t. He wanted to hear Hairu’s first words. Her truth. Everyone else was looking between Furuta and the ghouls, but he could only stare at Hairu.

“Now, now. Can we not talk this out, _monsieur_?” Tsukiyama held up his hands as his koukaku emerged, intertwined with Kanae’s rinkaku. Takeomi and his father closed in first, cutting off the Oggai.

The children fell back, to Takeomi’s relief.

“You’re awfully fond of words, aren’t you?” Tsukiyama’s smile dripped with honey.

“Kuriowas!” snapped Furuta. “Exterminate them.”

“D’awww, you shoulda watched your back, Souta.” A giggling ghoul leapt onto the stage.

The crowd gasped at the instantly recognizable Eto Yoshimura. “Ladies and gentlemen, I give you King Bileygr!”

She bowed to him, and, as Ui struggled to his feet, shoved him aside to grab Hairu.

“Stop!” screamed Furuta. Behind him, a young girl yelled “Liar!” while an older woman hurled a cup of coffee straight onto Furuta’s crystal white shirt.

No – he was humiliated – this was his joke. The world was diagonal, spinning like a merry-go-round. “You can’t steal from me!”

“Nothing here belongs to you!” Tsukiyama revived Touka’s holy fury from years past. Who would have guessed he’d find it rallying cry after all this time?

Eto pressed her hand over her heart. “You’re pathetic, ghoul.”

“Wait!” Ui grabbed his lover and tugged at Eto, who only tightened her grip on Hairu. “Don’t hurt her!”

“Even though she’s a ghoul?” Eto winked and tossed Furuta a smirk. “The best liars equalize truth and lies.”

“Ui! Now’s your chance! Prove your loyalty!” shouted Furuta.

“Uh…” Ui stammered.

“Oh, this could be fun,” Eto murmured, holding forth Hairu. From the crowd, Seidou hurled her a furious glare, but now wasn’t the time to focus on the Owl.

“Gonna kill her, Special Class Coward? Huh? Really? Before you do, you might want to know that only cowards deny their feelings with bigotry.”

Seidou stumbled forward. Who cared if he was off-script? So was Eto. _Distract that_ _Bowl-Cut Ethics Asshole_.

“Here, you wanna know who the enemy is?” Seidou scrambled onto the stage. “Look at me, kids. I used to be an investigator. Then the same doctor Furuta employs to raise the dead got ahold of me.”

The crowd grew louder. Screams rang out, but fury began to build. Furuta could feel in his chest.

“And your fear? It hurts so much.” Seidou laughed when, to his surprise, Kurona appeared beside him.

“We got this,” she said quietly, guiding Seidou to face Furuta.

The director backed away from them, but another kakuja thundered onstage behind him, trapping him in a kakuja sandwich.

 _How ironic_. Furuta forced a grin.

“I can’t believe what you did to these kids,” hissed Akira Mado, slipping off the kakuja. “Quinque, Amon.”

 _Amon Koutarou_? Furuta’s vision spun as former CCG ghouls – and allies, judging from the Kuriowas’ guarding of the Tsukiyamas – advanced upon him. “Help me, humankind! Would you really believe these _ghouls_?!”

“Kill him before he kills us!” screeched a girl.

“They’re all going to kill us!” shrieked a man.

“Boss!” One of the Oggai scrambled onstage. _Mayazumi, you loyal prick_.

“Look out!” Naki tossed off a realistic human mask to grab the screaming kid.

Now! Furuta ducked to avoid Seidou and Amon’s kakujas.

His movements sent one of Itsuki Marude’s bullets straight through the head.

“Ah!” Furuta fell to his knees: one sclera black, one iris scarlet.

“He is!” bellowed a man.

Furuta bolted for the CCG as Eto laughed and laughed.

 

Ui was on his hands and knees, unable to breathe. Furuta? Hairu? Who next, Arima?! Hadn’t Furuta said so?

“Ui.” Hairu’s lips moved and her voice was weak, like a nightmare.

He jerked his gaze back to her. “Is it true?! Did you know?”  
            “…Yes,” Hairu managed. Her face flushed the color of her hair, and her eyes filled with tears.

“Did I know any of you?” Ui cried, remembering how happily she split the last melon bun with him, the ticklish way she’d forced his lips into a smile.

“You knew all of us, but it wasn’t the time to trust you.” Hirako Take stood above him, Shio Ihei, Yusa Arima, and Rikai Souzu behind him.

“We missed you, though. You and big sister,” said Shio, smiling at Hairu as Rikai wrapped his arms around him.

“We have a mission for you. Come with us.”

Ui gaped at him.

“I trust Eto with Hairu for now.” Hirako held out his hand.

All he’d ever wanted was their hands. But he was human and against ghouls –

 _Hairu_. Ui doubled over again. He couldn’t meet her eyes. _What am I gonna do?_

“Kaneki says you’re a good man,” said a grim, silver haired ghoul behind Hirako. “Come with us now. Decode your feelings later.”

 _Kaneki_? Ui’s heart skipped.

“Yomo and I are in charge of helping the Oggai and finding Arima. He’s here, somewhere.” Hirako tilted his head. “Surely helping CCG’s children is ethical.”

Ui released a wail. “I’m not one to talk of ethics anymore.”

“I’m done waiting.” The silver-haired ghoul – Yomo – hauled Ui to his feet. “If nothing else, I’m going to kill your beloved Arima the moment I see him, so you and Hirako can stop me.”

“Wait, wait, wait!” Eto shoved Hairu into a chestnut-haired ghoul’s waiting arms. “Take this, Nishiki. I’m coming with you all.”

Ui’s heart stirred. Someone as precious as Hairu shouldn’t be passed around. He hated her.

 

_Remember, if you can’t handle it, pretend you’re bound and gagged._

_Miki, mother of Yoshitoki and far too old for anything but instruction, patted Nami on the back._

_“We basically are,” muttered Rize._

_“I don’t want to do this,” Nami whimpered._

_“At least you’re younger! My turn starts next year!” Rize hissed. Her voice rose. “He could come in to take me early any day!”_

Nami’s palms were sweating as they waited in Furuta’s office. How was the upset going? Between Eto and Tsukiyama, she had faith GOAT could brew sufficient chaos, but she hated ignorance.

And she hated. Being. Gagged.

“Well, well, well, what have we here?” Furuta threw open his door and tossed his arms around Arima.

He winked at Nami. Oh, he loved that this monstrosity who’d never done anything but obey wouldn’t fight back. This moment alone made life worthwhile.

The sandy-haired inverstigator loosened her gag, and Nami spit it out.

“Breaking and entering, Souta,” Nami replied coolly.

The sweat on his brow, the congealed blood on his hair, the harried breaths – he was fleeing right into their trap. As long as Arima, who guarded Furuta’s office with an almost bored expression, didn’t get in the way. She didn’t trust the dead, and she wished she could – _or maybe it’s just Arima I hate._

“Clearly, or are you returning a traitor to my new ghoul order?” Furuta tapped his chin.

“What are you talking about?” Nami whispered. She was almost disappointed he would be so predictably desperate.

Furuta’s arm slithered around her shoulders. He could do this. He had the dead. Eliminating all of CCG would be easy. “I said good work. We’ll take this little monster from here.”

            Suzuya trembled. _Pretend they’re Madam and the customers_.

            Even among ghouls, he could never belong.

            “No, not Juuzou,” whimpered Nami.

            “You don’t actually care for him, do you?” Furuta chuckled. People became pliable as soon as they formed attachments. He prided himself on killing all of his. Even Rize he’d reduced to a simple source of kagukans.

            He could still control this. He could still win. Furuta grinned back his tears.

            Nami swallowed. One wrong tone and Juuzou would be dead. For fun. “Of course not.”

            Suzuya couldn’t help it. His eyes filled with his own tears. “W – why, Nami?”

            “Take her to the lab,” Furuta commanded Arima. “Matsumae, be a dear and show our Suzuya the full power of resurrection.”

            “Of course,” said a tall, dark-haired woman as she stepped forward.

            Nami paled. She’d counted on her own experimentation, but not Juuzou. She could regenerate. He couldn’t.

            She’d predicted his interrogation, not an immediate demise. Furuta wasn’t typically that stupid.

            But his breathing still hadn’t returned to a normal rate. _He’s terrified_.

            This was her fault. She’d predicted wrong.

            She could risk it all, unleash her kagune and attack these dead and her former friend.

            But Suzuya shook his head, ever so slightly.

            What was it he’d told her he had said to Madam? _I don’t harbor a grudge. This is just my job._

            This was her job. Nami swallowed real tears and prepared to resume her act.

“Juuzou, it’s not true!” Nami screamed, pounding Arima’s arms. “It’s not true! It’s not true! He’s lying – stop!”

For Arima was dragging her back to the door. She collapsed just to give him more dead weight to uphold. She kicked out, but in her condition her kicks were off-balance and weak. “Look at me, please! You know I didn’t! Juuzou!”

Juuzou stared at her, his eyes wide even for him.

Nami reached out one more time. “Don’t hurt him!”

The door slammed shut.

 

“Shirazu, why are you doing this?” Saiko demanded, clapping her hands together. “You’re supposed to be cheering me for mastering my powerful kagune!”

Shirazu groaned and lurched forward, but Saiko’s kagune fists sent him spinning back. He turned towards a whimpering Aura again, but Mutsuki’s bikaku immediately pierced his eye.

“Over here, you big dolt!” Saiko yelled, punching his feet out from under him.

“Ahhh,” gasped their former friend, clutching his bloodied eye. For a moment, he’d seen a warmth from that green-haired boy.

Mutsuki frowned. _He recognized me_.

_I pierced his kagukan, and he recognized me._

_Is Saiko right? Would he be proud of me?_

_Now isn’t the time._

A door opened down the hallway, Saiko hit again, and Urie crept closer, his koukaku fully formed.

“Something happened!” Mutsuki shouted loud enough so Urie could hear. “Hit his kagukan, Saiko!”

“Huh?”

“Trust me!” Mutsuki barely dodged Shirazu’s swipe, and Saiko jabbed her fist straight into his eye.

She saw it, too. For a moment, he’d seen her.

“Stab him in the kagukan!” Mutsuki cried as Urie leapt forward.

Shirazu tried to whirl around to face Urie, but Saiko’s kagune fists pinned him to the ground as Mutsuki wrapped his bikaku around his neck.

Urie sank his koukaku into his friend’s black and red eye, and Shirazu’s eyes widened even as Mutsuki tightened his bikaku’s grip.

Shirazu grappled for his throat, but Saiko held his arms back and suddenly his eye folded shut, and the other extinguished.

Mutsuki released his kagune. “He’s asleep.”

“Thought you were supposed to just defend, Mutsuki,” growled Urie.

Mutsuki blushed. “I had an idea.”

“I know.” Pride rippled through Urie’s voice, and he turned to smile at Mutsuki.

Mutsuki gasped.

Urie clamped a hand over his left eye. He ought to have stabbed his own kagukan. “I…”

He swallowed hard, daring himself to look Mutsuki in his eyes. _I’m a fool_.

“You framed out?” Mutsuki asked softly.

“The night of the clown raid,” Saiko said.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” cried Mutsuki, stung.

“He’s scared to lose you,” Saiko translated. “Because he’s just as fucked up as you and me.”

“You’re not that fucked up,” Urie said wryly.

“I assure you, I am.” Saiko rolled her eyes. “I just went through my rebellious phase earlier than you two.”

“I think Urie’s always been rebellious,” Mutsuki said with a giggle as Urie’s two kagukans faded.

“Hey, glad you recognized us this time,” Saiko said.

“Me too.” Urie scuffed his shoes against the floor, looking at the spent younger generation and their unconscious comrade. “We should restrain him unless he wakes up.”

As Saiko’s kagune arms dragged Shirazu into a janitorial closet, Urie swallowed. “Yeah. You’re not the only one who lost themselves that night.”

Mutsuki’s arms crushed him in an embrace. “I forgive you.” He pulled back and wiped his eyes. “You know, you recognized us because you were in control among your friends. You lost control with Donato because you were scared and alone. I think I would know.”

Urie brushed the blood off Mutsuki’s forehead and gulped back a request for Mutsuki to take control right now, because he _was_ scared and didn’t know how to – how to –

Mutsuki’s lips brushed his.

“Gross!” Aura gagged on his own blood.

“I mean, you’re cute and all, but I’d appreciate some help,” Hsaio called, waving around the regenerating stubs where her limbs used to be.

            Arima shoved Nami into a coffin-sized cell. As best she could tell, they were in the basement, not far from the laboratory. _Weren’t you supposed to take me there?_

            “Wait.” Nami’s hand caught his. “Kishou Arima! Are you even _there_? Don’t you remember me?”

            Arima’s eyes softened.

            Seizing her opening, she pressed his hand against her stomach. Her voice cracked. “That’s your half-brother. Please, please help us.”

            His response was cool. “What do you think I’ve always done?”

            Nami tensed. She’d known not to trust him. Not because he was dead, but because he was _Arima_.

“Slaughter your own kind while pretending to be human?” She blinked back tears. “Join forces with Eto so you could slowly manipulate the world to change as people around you are _raped and butchered here and now_? You may be the Grim Reaper, but you’ve always been a coward. I was _glad_ Kaneki killed you.”

            He fell quiet for a moment. So Kaneki had kept his promise. _I’m sorry._

“No, you weren’t. It’s not in your nature.” Arima half-smiled. “You’re too much like him, actually.”

“Huh?”  
            “Nami.” Arima dropped to one knee. “You’re in the safest position you can be right now. I promise I am here, and I’m not going to let the Washuus win the day. Even if I die again.”

“What?” Nami shook her head. “No, you have to take me to the lab. It’s the plan!”

“Getting captured was your plan?” Arima narrowed his eyes. _Eto, what are you thinking?_

“Yes!” she snapped. “Now get me to that lab and you go back to Furuta! I swear to God, if someone hurts Juuzou, I am hormonal and desperate and I will _eat_ you!”

 

“Oh my. You were right, Uta.” Donato chuckled and tossed an eye into his mouth. A child’s eye, perfectly moist.

“They asked for masks. It wasn’t hard to discern.” Uta smiled at the carnage below.

Enraged humans were storming the CCG as the Quinx kids fled and agents tried unsuccessfully to hold off civilians.

“Humans really do eat each other,” Nico commented. “Metaphorically.”

“We got that,” Itori said icily.

“Isn’t it breathtaking?” Donato sighed and wrapped his arm around Uta. Behind him, Itori rolled her eyes.

 

 


	15. The Liberating

**Chapter Fifteen**

**The Liberating**

 

“What’s wrong, little Rei? That was your name, right?”

The Tsukiyamas’ bodyguard had a vicious koukaku, but she wrapped it around him slowly, as if hesitant to actually hurt him.

Suzuya didn’t reply. Nami was safe with Arima, right?

“I remember watching you kill. You seemed to enjoy it, Rei. And you really think you doves are better than us?”

_“When I was bored or scared, I’d just listen to others. There was so much they’d be saying beyond their words.” Nami gazed into a nightmare he’d never know, but there was a smile on her face. Because she’d gotten free. She’d won._

He’d already won.

Matsumae sounded like she forced the harshness. Like he had his first taunt, on his second kill for Big Madam. He’d slit the guest’s throat and tasted the blood from curiosity. Madam had hurt him for that.

 _“You can tell a lot about people by their eyes.” Shinohara ruffled his hair_.

Matsumae’s eyes were desperate.

“You’re not in control, are you?” Suzuya smiled.

“Shut up!” screamed Matsumae.

“This isn’t you. You were always calm. You barely flinched when we raided the auction and I took my knives out of my skirt.”

“Are you even a boy?” mocked Matsumae.

Now she wanted to die, didn’t she? Suzuya swallowed. “Yes.”

“Really?” Matsumae laughed. “I think you’re a freak. You can’t imagine that girl would truly go for you. Not when she’s already had a man.”

“You’re just scared because you’re helpless before an investigator. You think by hurting me, you’ll hurt Furuta.” Suzuya winced as the koukaku tightened, biting into his flesh. “But I’m on the same side with Tsukiyama and Kanae, and you like them, right?”

Matsumae hesitated. _Fingers dug into her eyes…_

“We can help you.”

“You’re lying.” She blinked back the pain.

“I wouldn’t tell such a boring lie.” Keep her talking. He could totally be weird enough for this.

Matsumae tightened her kagune again, and Suzuya grinned. “Your motives don’t make any sense. Why work for the ones who exploit your strength even though they hate everything you are?”

Shuu’s face flashed before Matsumae. “Shut – up!”

Now, if there was one thing Suzuya wouldn’t do, he wouldn’t stop smiling.

 

“Thank God.” Kimi leapt to her feet to grab Nami as Arima swept out of the lab. “Is that…?”

“Arima,” Nami confirmed.

“Does he remember?”

“Apparently.” Nami scanned the lab. “Where are the Quinx?”

“Where’s Juuzou?”

“Arima’s getting him. I think.” Nami had committed to this. She couldn’t turn back now – he’d want her to keep to the plan.

_Keep to the plan, like lying on your back, letting an old man rip you up inside._

“Where are the Quinx?” Nami asked again, louder this time.

Kimi swallowed. “Probably fighting their fallen friend.”

“Shirazu?” Nami’s mouth fell open. How like Furuta. “ _God dammit_!”

“I had to withhold his full medication.” Kimi cringed.

“It’s not your fault.” Nami fought back for sanity. “They can take care of themselves, I promise. Right now we need to focus on Rize.”

_Like Juuzou would want. Yeah. Exactly like that._

“Right. Chie should be livestreaming most of the CCG’s secrets right now, including the cameras in this room.” Kimi lifted a pair of keys from her pocket, fighting her misgivings about exposing a small pregnant girl to a potentially rabid ghoul. But Nami had insisted on this role. “Here.”

The lab was mostly empty. Nami blinked. “He raised everyone?”

“You know Furuta doesn’t hold back.” Kimi swallowed and took a step towards the tank imprisoning Rize.

The door burst open in a flurry of blue hair. “Kimi!”

“Saiko!” Nami gasped.

“ What’s left of her,” said the girl, waving in Urie – carrying an unconscious Higemaru – and Mutsuki – with a bloodsoaked Aura.

“Where’s Hsaio?” Nami cried.

“Here.” Saiko beant over and lugged the ravenhaired beauty in. Minus two limbs.

Nami wanted to shriek, but she couldn’t. She couldn’t lose herself just yet.

“Where’s Shirazu?” Kimi asked.

“Bound in a closet just down the hall,” Urie said grimly. “Kimi, are these the same people?”

“They are.” Kimi’s voice trembled. “But I had to – he wanted me to withhold half his medicine.”

“Where’s the medicine?”

“Here.” Kimi darted aside to a freezer and rummaged around. She held aloft a syringe. “Here.”

“Can you give it to him now? While he’s out?” Saiko pressed.

“That’s not the plan,” Nami said nervously.

“We have enough time. We have to. It’s more time than we’ll get if he wakes up again!” Mutsuki pointed towards the bleeding Quinx.

“Okay. Nami, Saiko, wait here and guard your friends.” Kimi brushed past Nami. “Take me to Shirazu.”

 

“I’m glad those Quinx went first,” Ayato muttered.

Kaneki swallowed. He’d heard screams. He’d heard screams. What if – he put his trust in – and they died? What if by trusting them he was betraying them?

Touka’s fingers razed his, and she gave him a small smile.

 _She knows how I feel_. Kaneki felt warm despite the horror awaiting them.

The door to the stairwell flung open, knocking Hinami back into Ayato’s arms.

“Hey, you fucker!” Ayato’s kagune emerged.

And Kaneki tilted sideways. “Arima?”

 

“There’s too many of them!” Akira shouted across the stage.

“They don’t know what to believe,” Amon muttered.

“Neither do we,” Seidou said, rolling his eyes.

“Well, we know to believe that we might be close to death if we stay,” Takeomi hissed, pushing Seidou back.

Keijin’s phone rang. “Are you serious?”

“What?” Hanbee hesitated.

“That was First Class Aura. Furuta’s called in CCG departments from all over the country. We need to get out of here.”

“Where?” hissed Miza. “We’re a bit boxed in at the moment.”

“We’ll follow dear leader, of course!” cried Kanae. “Let’s go!”

“What?” But Kurona had already grabbed Seidou and rushed him towards the CCG.

 

“Kaneki.” Arima’s voice was just as emotionless as Touka had expected.

“You killed our mother.” Ayato’s voice trembled, but otherwise he stayed calm.

Hinami shot Kaneki a terrified glance. Calm Kirishimas were terrifying Kirishimas.

“Nothing? You have nothing to say?” Touka scoffed. “Ayato, we don’t have time for this – this corpse right now.”

Her eyes burned with tears at Kaneki’s pained expression.

Maybe they never would have time. Maybe they didn’t have to kill the one who killed their mother.

 _I’m a traitor_. Touka paused. _But so is Kaneki_. “Are you with us or Furuta?”

Ayato glowered at his sister, but Hinami’s furtive eyes kept him still. If he rushed Arima, she’d jump in front of him. And they had more important things to attend. _Fuck_.

“I’m always with my king.” Arima nodded to Kaneki.

 _Oh_. So Eto wasn’t the only puppeteer. Touka’s face twisted.

His protégé looked tired, scared – and good, because the One-Eye King must travail. But the emptiness, the prisoner’s desperation and the child’s wail, beyond his eyes nauseated Arima.

He didn’t have time to worry. Not now. “Investigator Suzuya is being tortured in my brother’s office.”

Ayato gasped.

Kaneki sturdied himself against the grief, relief, and – rage – in his heart. “We can handle this. You’ll be more use heading downstairs to help hold off a mob.”

“Yes, sir.” Arima bowed his head to a sickened Kaneki.

 

            _Too many ghouls and half-ghouls and Quinxes and traitors_ …Furuta clenched his jaw. Backup was too far away.

            His phone buzzed. _Donato_.

            _Your chaos is marvelous._

            Furuta growled and stamped in a reply. _Hilarious, you mean._

            He was hilarious! Humans and ghouls united against the bureau run by ghouls to protect humans from ghouls!

            The irony ran deeper than the 24th ward, and Furuta knew it was beautiful.

            So why didn’t he feel like laughing?

 

“Go away!” screamed Mayazumi, using his quinque to slam Shio to the ground.

“Shio!” cried Hirako.

“He’s fine,” said Yusa, helping his friend to his feet. “Look out!”

Another Oggai threw a chair towards Rikai as they dashed for the elevator.

“A chair? Really?” called Eto, sidestepping a reeling Rikai.

“Can you not?” muttered Yomo, to Ui’s gratitude. Wait, was he actually agreeing with a ghoul?

            “Get on the elevator!” Mayazumi shoved his squad members forward. _You’re proof ghouls can coexist with people instead of dominating. That makes you highly important and highly dangerous. You think society hates you? Ghouls will want you dead._

“Agh!” A redheaded Oggai tripped.

“Hajime!” screamed a brunette, lunging out of the elevator.

Mayazumi yanked her back as the door closed. “We can’t save everyone, Akiko!”

_I’ll be a good boy, papa. I’ll won’t let the world win._

The redhead – Hajime Hazuki – spun around, two kakugans out. Why hide what Furuta had turned him into? “I’ll kill you all if you come closer!”

“Hajime!” Ui stepped forward.

“Ui?” Hajime’s eyes filled with tears. “Why are you with them? Are you really a traitor? I thought you were f – f – faking.”

“Not to you, he’s not,” Hirako said, dropping his weapon. “He’s betraying CCG for _you_.”

“Because your leader is using you and hurting you,” said Shio, hurrying closer to Hajime.

Hirako’s breath caught. He felt as though every moment his kids spent in danger took another year from his life.

Yomo elbowed him and nodded. _Let go. Like I did with my niece and nephew._

Ui frowned. These two villains – the ghoul and the ex-investigator – were friends enough to read each others’ minds.

“I’m part-ghoul, too, like you. You can trust me.” Shio opened his arms.

“What?”

“Kids,” muttered Yomo as Hajime tentatively gripped Shio’s hand.

“I’m so scared.” Hajime cowered before them.

 _The Quinx are unethical_. Ui gulped at the shaking Oggai. Were they, or were the ones who made them?

Ui shoved Hirako aside. “I’m scared, too. Neither of us know what we’re doing, do we? But I know we can help people today.”

Ui knelt before them. “And if these ghouls and traitors do anything unethical, I’ll help you escape them, Hajime, I promise.”

“You’re lying. You’re human and you want to kill us.” Hajime glared at Yomo. “And ghouls want to eat us because we’re proof humans and ghouls can coexist.”

“So much sentiment.” Eto sniffed. “Did your daddy dearest tell you that?”

“Why would you believe him?” Ui burst out.

“Unhelpful,” growled Yomo.

“This is the man who wore PARTY glasses to his inauguration! Everything he does is wrong,” Ui protested.

“At least he’s not pretentious,” Hajime snapped. “He doesn’t run around proclaiming ethics while he lusts after his dead lover.”

Ui colored. “It’s not lust.”

Beside Yomo, Eto wiggled her eyebrows. Hate flooded Ui’s eyes and Hajime wanted to scream.

“Love doesn’t exist. Except Furuta’s.” Hajime crossed his arms. “He made us stronger and unique because he loves us. _He told me I was special, like he was my mom_!”

Eto’s lips pressed into a flat line. She wasn’t quite sure how to defeat a brainwashed child. Luckily – judging from the elevator – she wouldn’t have to.

With a _ding_ , the elevator doors swept open. Hajime threw himself backwards. “Arima! What – ah!”

“Did you miss me?” Eto grinned.

“Always,” Arima said dryly, holding Hajime up by the collar. “Hello, Hirako. Raven. Ui.”

Ui stared at his former leader and confidant. _Is it true_?

“You already know the truth. Act on it,” Yomo said quietly.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you,” Arima said.

“You’re really one of them?” wailed Hajime.

“Sorry?” Ui burst out. “You left me all alone!”

“Technically, Kaneki and I did that,” Hirako said.

Ui staggered to his feet and slapped Arima, prompting another smirk from Eto.

“I hate to break up your reunion, but shouldn’t we all be going after these rogue children?”

“We’ve already caught two.” Shio pointed to Eto and Hajime.

“I like you.” Eto bounded into the elevator. “Let’s save these children.”

 

 

“Suzuya!” Hinami’s kagune flooded the office as her wings knocked Matsumae away from a bloody Juuzou.

“You’re the Tsukiyamas’ bodyguard! Matsumae.” Kaneki grabbed her arm as Touka and Ayato fired RC shards to sever her kagune.

“ _You_!” Matsumae screamed. “You’re the reason Shuu couldn’t leave! He tried to bring you back your memories, and you killed him!”

“Kaneki!” Touka cried.

He barely dodged her newly grown kagune. _The dead move fast._

“M – matsumae!”

“So that’s it!” Suzuya burst out laughing.

“Shut up! He was like my son, and you butchered him!” hissed Matsumae.

“Furuta told you so?” Kaneki’s face shown with sweat and relief. “No!”

“Here!” Touka pressed a button on her phone. “Pick up, you pesky gourmet!”

Matsumae hesitated.

“Touka? _Ma chere_ , what is wrong?” An urgent voice sparkled from the phone.

Matsumae gasped.

“What’s wrong is your bodyguard Matsumae or whatever is trying to kill us because Furuta told her Kaneki killed you!”

“What?” Tsukiyama gasped. “But, Matsumae, I am alive!”

“Shuu, is that really you?” Matsumae grabbed the edge of Furuta’s desk.

“Oui, oui! It’s true Kaneki tried to kill me, but Kanae saved me and nearly died in the process. We’re together now. Father’s fine too – soon you’ll be fine with us because _you’re alive_!” Tsukiyama’s voice rose to a shriek.

“Where are you guys?” Touka cut in.

“In the lobby, hoping the CCG boasts bulletproof walls.”

Ayato swore, but Kaneki could only place his hand on Matsumae’s shoulder. “He’s okay. He’s brave, and wonderful.”

“Yes, yes he is.” Matsumae wiped her eyes.

“Hinami, untie Suzuya. Touka, you and I need to see if we can find any transactions between Furuta and Kanou.” Ayato kicked open the desk drawer. “Like a thumb drive or something!”

“If all else fails, we can take the hard drive.” Kaneki grabbed Furuta’s laptop. Hide would have known exactly what they’d need – ah, this was not the time to think of him.

“I – I’m sorry,” Matsumae stammered.

“I’m not. I think I’ve been you before,” Suzuya said, accepting Hinami’s pull to his feet.

“You really are strange,” Matsumae said with a queer light in her eyes.

A gale of laughter struck then, blasting its way through the door.

Furuta doubled over in the doorway, gagging on mirth. “How delightful! You’re all here! King versus Director, isn’t it? Master versus master while the slaves watch!”

“We’re not Kaneki’s slaves,” Touka spat.

“It’s like I read once: ‘I no longer call you slaves, but friends.’ I don’t remember the source. But that’s how Kaneki treas us, however imperfectly,” Hinami told Furuta. She smiled shyly at Kaneki. “And we like him that way.”

“The Bible? A damned ghoul, quoting a Holy Bible?” Furuta wrung his hands. “I see why you had to rescue her, Kaneki. She’s _ironic_!”

“You’re ironic,” said Ayato.

“Clever,” muttered Touka, drawing Ayato’s glare.

“See how dysfunctional people are? Whether ghouls or humans. You can kill me, but you’ll all be trapped here and soon you’ll be eating each other. Just to – what? Survive? Does life really mean so much?” Furuta giggled, but Kaneki noticed the serrated edges to his eyes.

 _Say yes_.

But did he think so?

The lives of those he knew mattered. Did the nameless? He couldn’t even love them.

“I think it does,” whispered Suzuya. Mr. Shinohara would have said so. He had to believe it. He _wanted_ to believe it.

“I agree,” Kaneki said with soft anxiety. Now he’d have to act on this, and Furuta could call his bluff anytime.

“Liar!” Furuta lashed out, but Touka’s kagune shot shards straight into his face.

“Oh, my beauty,” he wailed dramatically.

“Stop joking.”

“I’m not.” On the security cameras beyond, a shadowy figure was pulling Rize from her tank.

“You’re done, Washuu,” growled Touka.

As she swiped for him, Furuta scrambled for the stairs.

 

            “We’re in deep shit,” muttered Miza, watching police cars pull up to the entrance.

            “They can’t come in without official investigators,” Seidou said.

            “Yeah? How long will that be?” she demanded.

            “We’ll be your hostages,” declared Takeomi.

            “Two aren’t enough. We need Furuta.”

            “Chie’s should be broadcasting what he’s done with the lab any minute,” said Tsukiyama, and if on cue, his phone rang.

            “This is the one time I’m relieved you’re not Kaneki again,” he said by way of greeting, prompting Kanae to stick out her tongue.

            “Shuu,” she answered. “I’ve hacked in, but you’ve only got one chance to get his confession. Make sure everyone understands how bad the bureau’s duped us all. Because you’re totally surrounded, and hwile I can slow them down, you won’t make it out of there without the public on your side.”

 

The door to the lab burst open, and Furuta staggered in.

Mutsuki lunged forward, but Urie wrenched him back. They had to protect the unconscious Shirazu, Hsaio, and Aura, along with a babbling, half-awake Higemaru.

Besides, Kaneki and Touka were directly behind him.

“Nami!” shrieked Furuta, stretching out his arms. “Ah – fuck! You have to help me.”

Nami burst into laughter as the ever-focused Kimi hoisted a limbless Rize down into Nami’s arms. Ugh, she was heavy, or maybe Nami had grown weak. She supposed she ought to worry about Rize attacking, but the emaciated ghoul seemed too weak for that.

Furuta paled at the sight of Rize and Nami, the two women he’d, as Uta put it, “royally fucked over.”

“Laughing? Do give me more then, dear. At least give me laughter!” Furuta forced his own giggles.

She had to know he was different. That he wouldn’t rape her. Hell, the only ghoul he’d refused to bring back was Torso. That should mean _something_.

“Fuck you!” Nami spat at him. Kimi rummaged through the container for the muzzle, just in case.

“Rize needs a muzzle because of _you_ ,” Nami growled. “Juuzou is hurting because of _you_. Those kids became murderers because of _you_.”

“The Oggai were already in training to kill.” Furuta skittered forward as Touka advanced from behind.

“And did you help them? No, you pushed them further into it, you bastard,” Nami yelled. “All for your selfish little black heart!”

“I’m pretty sure it’s red.” Furuta’s plastic smile crumbled. “Nami, we’re the same. I know what you’ve gone through – I’m one of the few who can understand you.”

“Do you?” Nami demanded, her hand tightening on Rize’s shoulder. “Do you know what it feels like – to be not only unloved, but used? To have even your body taken from you?”

Nami choked back a sob. She was once more stumbling out of bed, feeling Iyo’s eyes on her, sore and angry she _knew_ and wouldn’t help her. Angry at the dead.

She hated herself until she didn’t even feel that she belonged in her body anymore.

“You think you helped us,” she seethed. “All you did was help yourself, so _you_ could have us. You’re as bad as your father.”

Furuta jerked. “No.”

“Yes,” she cried. “Yes, you are.”

“You’re lying!” he screamed.

“I wish I were,” she said. “You saw the evils V did and chose to become worse than them to tear it down. That doesn’t even make sense. It certainly hasn’t brought you fun. You are empty inside.”

Furuta doubled over. “Fuck you – fuck – fuck – fuck –”

He retched, and the sound of rejected food overcame Rize.

“No!” yelped Kimi, dropping the muzzle.

Shoving Nami aside, Rize lunged forward and sank her teeth directly into Furuta’s throat.

“Rize!” shrieked Nami as a powerful blow from Touka sent the frantic ghoul flying backwards.

“Hah…” Furuta choked on his own blood. Kaneki’s arms encircled him, as did a very cold, damp darkness.

“We’ll hold her.” Urie grabbed Rize by her arms.

“It’s funny. I’m gonna die with you,” Furuta murmured to Kaneki.

“Don’t move.” Kaneki met Nami’s eyes and shook his head.

She hated him, didn’t she?

Not enough to want his throat torn out as his blood pooled around her.

“I used all my strength…” Furuta coughed. He deserved it, didn’t he. His voice rose. “Help.”

He sounded like a child. His eyes looked familiar – probably the same eyes she’d given Iyo, desperate for salvation that wouldn’t come.

Nami knelt besides him. She was too weak to feed him, but she could at least do this. “Souta…”   

 _I don’t want you to die_. His eyes traveled to hers, and she forced a grin. “I’m not going to call you one of your silly aliases.”

_For once, be real._

_I’m too deep a coward_.

“Kanou,” he mumbled. “He – h – he –” He wasn’t even going to finish, was he? What a joke. “Dead.”

“He’s raising the dead, we know.” Kaneki ground his teeth. “Was that not on your orders?”

“No, that’s not what he means.” Nami clutched his hand as tears streamed down her face. “I won’t let that happen to you, Souta. Don’t you worry.”

Souta gasped, or tried to laugh – and then his eyes paled.

“Find peace,” Nami admonished his soul. She liked to think he heard.


	16. Lam

**Chapter Sixteen**

**Lam**

 

“What the fuck, Kaneki?!”

“Karren!” Shuu admonished as GOAT took refuge in the now-stuffy lab. Seidou, Kurone, and Naki sprawled across a table, while Miza eyed them like a disappontd parent. “Did we have to enter _comme un cheveu sur la soupe_?”

“Well, you won’t say it, but I sure will.” Karren crossed her arms at the door to the lab. “Congratulations, all of us. We’re trapped, and we’ve just broadcast someone assassinating the bureau director. Awesome!”

“She couldn’t help it,” snapped Touka, tying the muzzle over Rize’s tear-streaked face.

Mutsuki unwrapped his kagune from around the miserable girl. “Can’t they see how tortured she is?”

“Sure, if they look past their anti-ghoul bias and the fact that, right now, Kanou has seized his chance to proclaim us monsters who could be harvested to yield the fountain of youth humans are always chasing, sure. Absolutely.” Karren threw her hands in the air. “It’s only a matter of time before they break in and slaughter us. And I won’t let them hurt Shuu. I won’t.”

“Okay, calm down,” Kimi said, rubbing Nami’s hair. “Let’s think.”

“Yes,” muttered Kaneki. “Think.”

 _Everyone’s going to die. I led them into a trap_.

“Did you all flee into CCG? Did anyone escape?” Urie asked.

Shuu coughed. “No one’s heard from Nishiki after he took Hairu Ihei.”

“I see,” Kimi said quietly.

“And Banjou and Chie are at Mirumo’s. Otherwise all of GOAT is here.” In her peripheral vision, Karren watched Nami. She hunched, white as bleached bones and still as stone, beside her dead tormenter and former friend.

“Get everyone into the lab,” Kaneki said, swallowing. “We’re in the basement. That has to be the most secure location, right?”

 

“I can’t believe we’re teamed up with the Owl,” Hirako muttered, glaring at Eto.

She snickered in response, shifting closer to Arima.

The elevator was teensy and garishly lit. Ui found himself uncomfortably pressed against these strangers.

Strangers. That’s all any of them were. That’s all they’d ever been.

Hajime met his eyes, and Ui took small comfort in their shared discomfort.

“You gonna behave?” Hirako asked the Oggai.

“Why wouldn’t I?” asked Hajime dully.

“Because it’s hard to believe ghouls are good,” Shio suggested.

Hajime rolled his eyes.

“They’re not,” Ui said sharply.

“Oh?” Eto raised her eyebrows as Arima hung his head. Yomo said nothing, though his displeasure increased with the children’s sad expressions.

“Same with people, maybe,” Ui said, struggling to regain emotional control. “I don’t know, Hajime. Maybe none of us are good.”

The elevator doors rushed open.

“I just know we shouldn’t let Furuta hurt your Squad members.” Ui patted the air above Hajime’s shoulder.

“You’re too scared to even touch him?” Eto rolled her eyes.

“I’m not scared!”

“You’re scared,” Yomo muttered, shoving past Ui and peering to the window of the roof. “They’re huddled in the middle.”

“Waiting for a helicopter?” Hirako asked.

“I doubt that Washuu rat would rescue them. Move aside, oaf.” Eto growled. “What were your orders, kid?”

Hajime ground his teeth.

“Hajime, we could use your help. I know you’re scared. You’re like me, scared of being alone, but you don’t realize you’ve been alone your whole life.” Ui shot Arima a glare before returning his gaze to Hajime’s wobbly face.

“I wasn’t with my parents,” Hajime said thickly.

“I know.” Ui sighed. “We’re two loners together. At least for now, we’re not alone.”

“Director Washuu wants us to show the world we are better. That they don’t deserve us.” Hajime trembled.

“What does that mean?” Hirako barked.

“Shut it, Shiba man.” Eto approached Hajime, who jerked away from her. He felt his back press against Ui, against a human who understood him, and finally he could breath again.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart,” Eto said. “But Furuta – Director Washuu – he wants you to kill yourselves?”

“We’re monsters. Ethical nightmares to defeat unethical ghouls. It’s a joke, but at least we can die before those undeserving people get their hands on us,” Hajime blurted. “That’s real love, isn’t it? Becoming a monster to destroy monsters? To save weaklings?”

Eto pushed aside her father’s voice. _Get out of my head_. “Well, I’m not an expert on love, but I think I’m qualified to say even monsters deserve second chances.”

 _Factory reset, my ass. We’re stuck with these broken pieces, aren’t we_? She saw Arima smirk behind Hajime and ground her teeth. _Goddamit._

“Let’s do this.” Eto twirled around. “I’ll distract them with my _renowned_ kakuja. Arima, Ui, you have a good chance to get close and subdue them before they kill themselves.”

 

“The Owl!” Mayazumi dropped the tablet to the concrete roof.

Akiko’s face was stained with tears. “You hurt Director Washuu!”

“Squad Leader!” Daisuke noticed Hajime run out, followed by Ui and Arima himself. “Remember?”

_Remember –_

_Kill me if I can’t kill myself._

Hajime’s fingers curled. _There’s a way out_ , he wanted to say, but how? Suppose he was wrong?

“If you can’t choose, I can choose for you,” Ui said in his ear.

Hajime glowered at him.

“Or not.”

Eto lunged towards them, and Hajime did what she’d expected: he dove for her, and his squad followed. Dozens of Oggai overwhelmed Eto like ants on a cookie.

“Hello,” Hirako said, appearing with Yomo to grab Mayazumi’s arms.

“What? Let me go!”

“We don’t want your blood on our hands,” Arima said grimly, knocking Akiko’s quinque from her hands with ease.

“There’s too many of them.” Yomo said, restraining two with his ukaku.

 _Kids are going to die_.

 _Isn’t that what we’ve been training them for?_ Ui threw his head back. “You don’t have to die!”

“We want to!” yelled a dark-haired girl with a face that remined him of Hairu. “Even if you betray the director, we won’t!”

Ui choked back tears. “Don’t die, please.”

“Helpful,” muttered the Owl, knocking three unconscious. Arima eyed her, and she stuck out her tongue. “At least they’re too busy killing me to kill themselves.”

“You’re more like your father than you wish,” Arima retorted.

“You take that back!” Eto knocked another kid unconscious. “Sorry, child.”

“Look at us!” Shio threw his arms wide. “We’re turning into monsters to save you! We love you!”

“Traitor!” called back one.

“I’m the traitor,” Hirako yelled. “These kids just followed my orders.”

“Like you all, right? Following Fur – the Director’s?” Ui called as Yomo lifted his phone, of all things.

 

“Nami!” Juuzou rushed into the lab and threw his arms around her. She collapsed into his arms. “You’re okay.”

“ _You’re_ okay,” she breathed, pushing her guilt aside. She couldn’t deal – all she could deal was a breath in and out.

“Luckily, I have an idea.” Itou Kuramoto entered the room, followed by his squad, Mougan Tanakamaru, and a wheelchair-bound Kiyoko Aura. She gasped at her unscious nephew, but nodded tightly at Mutsuki.

“Thank you for saving him.”

“Of course,” said Mutsuki, tugging Aura closer to Kiyoko.

Itou immediately wrapped his arm around Hanbee, who frowned at the unwelcome touch.

“We’re your hostages.” Itou pointed to his squad.

“And the Oggai, whenever they get here,” added Kiyoko. “Assuming your child rescuers are fit for the task.”

“I don’t want kids as hostages,” protested Kaneki.

“It’s all about appearances,” Shuu shot back.

“But we need to show – kindness and mercy.” Amon glared at the Gourmet.

“And we will! But right now, it isn’t merciful to let all of us die here.” Irimi crossed her arms.

Akira sighed. “They’re right.”

            “What?” Amon gaped at her.

They were interrupted by the tones of Mozart from Shuu’s phone. “Chie! I thought they’d be blocking calls in – oh, I see. Clever girl.”

“Can we be hostages too?” asked Kuriowa.

“Dad, we were just publically denounced as traitors.” Takeomi wiped his forehead. _What if they come for Yoriko?_

“Yoriko’s stronger than you think. Learn that, or else you don’t deserve her.” Touka read his mind and glowered at him. In the background, Shuu was asking after Nishiki.

“I like her,” Kuriowa pointed to Touka. “Yoriko has good friends.”

“She does.” Takeomi smiled tentatively at Touka. Would she forgive him and his family?

She smiled back.

“Ahem! Mamman. Pay attention. Look at him.” Saiko seized Shuu’s delay to wave Kaneki’s attention towards a sleeping, breathing Shirazu. “He’s alive.”

Kaneki sat frozen.

“Mamman!” Saiko stomped her foot.

“You’re glad, aren’t you?” wheezed Higemaru.

He was a blot on this miraculous world. Kaneki shook. Behind him, he could have sworn Shuu was now asking about dragons.

Shuu hung up and shook his head. “Chie’s amazing.”

“Do tell,” Seidou said dryly.

“First of all, sounds like Nishiki and Miss Hairu are on their way back to my father’s.”

“Thank God,” Kimi whispered.

“And Chie thinks she and Yoriko can create a diversion long enough to help a few of us escape. From there, we’ll need something huge to get the rest out. Like exposing Kanou’s agenda.”

“What agenda?”

“According to Uta, Furuta implemented Kanou to create something called the dragon. Powerful enough to kill both Eto and Arima, which, speaking of, I’m glad they’re still absent lest they eat me.” Shuu waved his hand about. “Anyhow, sounds like the clowns still don’t know what it’s about. But if you want to expose Kanou as a cruel, exploitative mad scientist, we should start with this scaly beast.”

“It’s surely not a real dragon,” Urie said.

“I’m sure, because the cold world wouldn’t allow something so delicious.” Tsukiyama smacked his lips as Ayato smacked his head.

Takeomi forced a laugh. These ghouls were crazy. But if Yoriko liked them, so could he.

 

“Are we really doing this?” Nico rolled her eyes, watching the roiling children versus the owl two buildings away. “Uta, you’re fabulous, but you lack Souta’s simple _pretty_.”

“Shut up.” Itori shoved him out of the camera angle. “We don’t need your ugly face.”

Nico sucked in her breath. “I am fucking beautiful, Itori.”

“We’ll agree to disagree.”

 _What do I have to do to be beautiful_? Nico wanted to scream, but now was not the place. Though, she mused as she leant over the rail for a better view, even a sadist could see the beauty to come.

A familiar face stared back at him from the midst of a writihing mass CCG’s fire escape.

Nico smacked his lips and pointed. _Get your pretty pale ass up there, boy._

“Pledge devotion and pride. Pride’s their meat and devotion is their candy.” Donato tilted Uta’s face towards his. “Like child eyes, to you and me.”

Uta fought the urge to tear his father to bits right then and there. This wasn’t working. He would never be Amon Koutarou. “Right.”

 

“Hahaha!” Furuta’s face emerged on Yomo’s phone. “My darlings, my baby dragons!”

“Dad?” A dark-haired boy who couldn’t have been more than eight hesitated.

“Your devotion is, ahem, most admirable. I’m so excited! Did you know, they currently think I’m their captive, but I have to ask, do you really think I’m the captive one? Real power is imprisoning those with freedom.” Furuta chuckled.

“Lay down your weapons, go with these rats, and we can be the freest captives of all – together!” Furuta clapped eagerly and Yomo ended the feed.

“Thank you, One-Eyed King,” he said woodenly.

“He’s lying!” screamed Daisuke after a moment of quiet. “There’s no way he survived!”

“It’s hard to kill a ghoul,” Ui protested.

“And none of us want you to die,” Hirako added.

“What does that have to do with anything?” Eto asked. “Though it’s true.”

“Well, we want to!” Mayazumi snarled.

“We can,” said Hajime slowly, “but first hadn’t we better check out if it’s a lie or not? If it is, we can slaughter these idiots by numbers alone. And we’ll win because no matter how we end, our Director wins. ”

“I can’t. I can’t keep spinning around, waiting for thinner and thinner hope.” Daisuke had always emulated Furuta’s eloquence, and Hajime cursed him for that.

“I’m going. You can all die later.” Daisuke backed towards the roof.

“No –” Hirako’s eyes shone with fright, and Rikai was closest but not close enough –

He toppled backwards only to be immediately thrust forward on his face.

“Tatara!” Eto cried.

Tatara, Houji, and the ghosts of Rushima climbed onto the roof.

“This brat got in the way of another battle,” Tatara said simply.

“That’s a fancy way of saying you tried to flee Furuta and fight your nemesis, but I approve,” Eto surmised. “Well, now you’re outgunned, you adorable half-ghoul runts. Time to join your leader.”

“Adorable half-ghoul runt, huh?” Arima whispered to the kakuja as Ui and Hajime escorted a dozen children to the elevator.

“You know I am.”

Ui’s eyes bugged out, and to his relief, Hajime looked as horrified as he felt.

 

“Nami, you can’t stay here. Besides, if this involves V – and the Sunlit Garden – we’ll need someone like you.” Kaneki dragged her forward.

“What about _them_? They’re innocent, too.” Nami pointed towards Shio, Yusa, and Rikai. But she knew they’d make good hostages, so long as Hirako took the blame.

“And you’re coming too, Suzuya, because you’re our strongest human. And we need you to protect Nami.” Kaneki half-smiled at Nami’s unusually independent scowl.

“I’m coming, too. Think of me as your protection, Kaneki.” Touka eyed him. His emotional protection, at any rate.

“Not me?” gasped Tsukiyama.

“GOAT needs a good leader, Tsukiyama.” Kaneki nodded towards him. “You, and Amon.”

“Not us?” Eto smirked.

“Really?” Arima muttered, face burning and heart stinging. “I agree with him.”

“Yeah, you really don’t deserve it,” Kurona sang. She stood safely in front of Seidou, who still couldn’t look at Houji. Quietly, she added, “’ll block as long as you need.”

Seidou nodded, his head in his hands. All he wanted was an embrace, but he was too afraid to even take her hand.

“Cool.” Suzuya looked to Keijin. “You’re in charge. Don’t die.”

“We’re not the ones you should worry about,” Miyuki said with a smirk.

“Kimi? You know Kanou. And Nishiki is …” Nami trailed off.

“I think it’ll be best with just four of you. And besides, these people are gonna need care,” Kimi said, watching the Quinx.

“Mamman! He’s awake. Kind of.” Saiko bent over Shirazu.

Kaneki hesitated.

“Thought you could get away, didn’t you?” Touka dragged Kaneki over to the gasping Shirazu.

“Shirazu.” Kaneki knelt besides his friend. Touka’s pinch dug into his shoulder blades. “You’re alive.”

“Why?” Shirazu blinked at the many faces – Akira and Arima were here – and so were Tatara, and Naki, and other members of Aogiri. They were all watching him. “Ghouls?”

“We had to join an alliance because everything went to shit after you died,” Urie said.

“Including us,” Mutsuki added, kneeling besides Kaneki.

“It’s called GOAT. Bahhhhhh.” Saiko tugged her ponytail.

“ _Huh_?”

“I have to go now,” Kaneki choked. Touka jabbed him at the nape of his neck. “Ah. Just – I don’t know what you’ll think of me when this ends – but I need you to know I love you.”

“What are you talking about?” Shirazu’s eyes darted around.

“Thought you could escape my temper, did you?” Urie managed.

Shirazu’s eyes fell on the closeness between Urie and Mutsuki. “What happened?”

“Good thing he’s sitting down,” grumbled Aura, poking his oozing wound. Kiyoko smoothed his hair out of his eyes. She didn’t have to say she was proud of him. He knew.

They were in a desperate spot, but she’d never seen him so calm.

“You’re awake!” Saiko tackled him.

Urie laughed as Mutsuki wrapped his arms around Aura to save him from Saiko’s shakes. “Well, he’s not wrong.”

“ _Wait_. Shinsanpei Aura is a Quinx?!” Shiazu whined. “Tell me what’s happening in a way that makes sense!”

Amon sucked in his breath as Kaneki, Touka, Nami, and Juuzou slipped from the room. Every heartbeat shattered his shoulders.

 

“Really, what is happening?” Shirazu eyed Seidou. “Why is he here?”

“Why shouldn’t he be? He’s been fucked over like the rest of us.” Kurona rotated to block Seidou from Shirazu now.

Akira and Amon traded looks.

 _Maybe you were right_. Amon cleared his throat. “As Kaneki said, we’re called GOAT.”

“Basically,” said Tsukiyama with a twirl, “we’re Kaneki Ken’s new organization to promote ghoul and human alliance.”

“What the fuck?!” Shirazu scrambled back, but Saiko held him fast.

“It’s really okay.”

“Urie, you agreed to this?” Shirazu’s jaw practically scraped the cracked tiled floor.

“We had to,” said Urie, avoiding his eyes. “It was the right thing to do.”

“I would have died if they hadn’t,” Mutsuki said softly. “Shirazu, Nimura Furuta was Bureau Director and he ramped up extermination efforts to a frenzy – and they didn’t spared anyone associated with them, either. He made new Quinx types to do it.”

Shirazu followed Mutsuki’s finger to several dozen – mostly sedated – children. “ _Kids_?”

Ui rubbed a hand through his hair. “And then planned to kill them and you guys. Just so he could raise a new ghoul undead army where you were all under his control.”

“I don’t get it.” Naki frowned. “Why make them conscious then?”

“He can always threaten not to give medicine. If they run off, too, they’ll die.” Kimi shrugged.

“But now he’s dead.” Shirazu stared at Furuta’s oddly peaceful corpse.

A sob broke out from the back.

A large, silver-haired ghoul knelt besides a woman rocking back and forth in misery, clad only in an oversized coat. Her face was lovely, gaunt, and her limbs were only half-formed.

“What the fuck?” Shirazu yelled.

“That’s Rize Kamishiro. The ghoul who made Mamman into a ghoul,” said Saiko.

“And I realize we all have vendettas against one another,” the silver-haired ghoul said with a quiet strength that immediately snapped Shirazu’s mouth shut. “But we’re stuck here for the moment, so we best make sure we get along. And that starts with no one disturbing Rize. She’s been through enough.”

“We can help her.” Hinami tugged Ayato closer.

“Thank you.” Yomo had to smile at their entwined hands. “Deal, everyone?”

“That includes you two.” Eto smirked at Tatara and Houji. Seidou gasped and shrunk back.

“Deal!” called Karren and Tsukiyama in unison.

 

“Go!” Suzuya grabbed Nami’s arm and pulled her into the humid dusk as a traffic camera exploded by a side door.

“I’m not even going to ask how Chie did that,” grumbled Touka between the blaring alarms.

“You okay?” Kaneki asked Nami.

She grimaced. “CCG ddidn’t design their combat gear for pregnancy.”

Suzuya and Touka chuckled.

“You four! Get back to position five!” An investigator waved at them, and Nami instinctively moved to hide Suzuya’s recognizable face.

Touka hollered back, “Yes sir!”

“Let’s go.” Kaneki slipped towards the vans.

A back door flew open, nearly decapitating Suzuya. “Hey!”

“Get in.” Nishiki hauled Nami in without a pause.

“Kaneki, thank God.” Mirumo began driving before they’d even finished climbing in, but for a moment his eyes lingered on them, as if by seeing Kaneki he could see his son.

“Hairu.” Nami caught her breath at the pink-haired woman sprawled across the floor.

“Nami?” Hairu lost her words again.

She gulped as her friend’s swollen stomach came into focus. “Um, hi.”

“She’s pregnant, you’re undead, Kaneki’s the One-Eyed King. Are we up to-date now?” Nishiki slumped against the side of the van.

“You know I would have helped you, Kaneki,” Hairu whispered.

“You were always a good friend.” Kaneki sat next to her. “How’re you feeling?”

“Angry. Used. Will Ui forgive me? Not that the last one has anything to do with work.” Hairu scrunched up her face. “Whatever you need, consider me your Squad Zero for now.”

“I’d really like you to recover, make sure you’re normal.”

“Kimi gave us medicine for you.” Nami held up a bottle packed with vials and a syringe. “She’s working on a pill form, but the science isn’t there yet.”

“Yuck.” Hairu made a face. “Well, maybe you’ll get parenting experience from forcing me to take that gunk.”

Nami forced a laugh.

“You know,” Touka said, “It’s okay to think about Ui now. He gives you strength, right?”

“Nishiki says you’re the rabbit.” Hairu regarded her. “You’re cute. Surprisingly so. Anyways, he and Arima both lend me strength. And Arima doesn’t have to forgive me.”

“But Ui loves you. In that way.” Nami hesitated. “Like me and Juuzou. Right?”

“You and Suzuya?” Hairu giggled. “Nishiki, you didn’t mention this! I couldn’t picture a better match!”

 _She’s lively enough death could never have kept her_ , Touka contemplated. Their situation,f or a second, didn’t feel hopeless if they could still laugh.

            Mirumo pressed the brakes. “Chie and Banjou are at home with the kids. What’s the current plan?”

“You joining, old man?”

“Weren’t you always blathering on about respecting your elders, Nishiki?” Touka couldn’t resist.

“Shut up, cottontail!”

“Anyways. Of course I’m joining,” said Mirumo. “My son and future daughter-in-law are in there.”

“Matsumae’s alive,” Kaneki said.

Mirumo sucked in a breath. “Even more reason, then. Where do we start?”

“Let’s wait for Chie and Banjou.” Kaneki cracked his knuckles, and Touka’s face flooded with concern.

“I think,” said Kaneki, with the orphans now in bed and no one but Chie, Banjou, Nishiki, Hairu, Nami, Suzuya, and Touka in the chillingly empty parlor, “from Furuta’s files, we need to hunt down Kanou’s dragon.”

“And what,” said Nishiki, “exactly is that?”

“I have no idea.” Kaneki pressed his palms over his eyes. Touka’s hand brushed the back of his neck, and he wanted to grab her and never let go.

Hairu and Nami stared at each other.

“You say it,” Hairu said.

“What?” Banjou frowned.

“We might know.” Nami swallowed back a horde of hornets.


	17. Up in Arms

 

**Chapter Seventeen**

**Up in Arms**

 

            She felt Suzuya’s hand tighten on her arm. Kaneki and Touka just stared at her.

Yoriko leaned forward, her hand over her mouth, and Banjou tapped his foot eagerly. Chie smiled, because she was Chie, Nishiki adjusted his glasses, and Mirumo’s face didn’t register surprise at all.

Hairu bit her tongue and motioned for Nami to continue.

            “When we were growing up…in the Sunlit Garden,” Nami began as sweat broke out on her brow and Juuzou wrapped his arm around her, “we heard rumors of the great ‘dragon,’ the original One-Eyed King, the one who turned his back on the world to found a giant city buried deep beneath the 24th ward.”

            “There’s a city beneath the 24th ward.” Nishiki shrugged. “Of course. Why did I not expect this.”

            “Because none of us did,” said Banjou.

            “I was being rhetorical.”

            “Anyhow,” Touka said.

            “They used to tell us if we went outside the Garden the king would eat us.” Hairu smiled bitterly. “I thought the stories of his immortality were old wives’ tales.”

            “We all did.” Nami rubbed her stomach. “But what if they’re not? What if there is a city underground ruled by an undead ghoul?”

            “I’m undead. Anyhting possible, right?” Hairu laughed back tears.

            “Yes, and maybe there’s a real dragon,” said Nishiki sarcastically.

“And maybe it’s Kanou!” Chie slumped in her chair. “The way things are going, I wouldn’t even be surprised.”

“If there’s a city, we have to go there, don’t we?” Kaneki met Nami’s eyes.

She winced. “I can’t be certain, but it must be near the Sunlit Garden, or else why did they threaten us?”

“We need to believe liars to find the truth,” Mirumo mused.

“I see where Tsukiyama’s dramatic side came from,” Touka remarked. “Nami, Hairu: do you think you can lead us there? It’s flimsy, but it’s our only clue.”

“We’ll be with you. Behind you and before you,” added Yoriko. “I don’t care if I’m human.”

“We humans can handle ourselves,” Chie agreed.

Nami’s eyes burned. “I suppose.”

Suzuya shifted closer to her. “I’d like to see where you grew up.”

“No,” she said with a shake of her head, “you really wouldn’t.”

“It doesn’t scare me.”

“It scares _me_ ,” Nami admitted.

“It’s okay to be afraid,” said Yoriko. “I’m scared to death for Takeomi.”

“Kimi’s in there, too.” Nishiki sighed. “And Ui, right?”

“Yes,” said Hairu softly. “If revisiting the garden means saving us all, I’m game to return.”

“Me too,” Nami said hoarsely. “Even if I don’t want to.”

           

            “Ui. May I speak with you?” Arima avoided his subordinate’s eyes.

            Ui wrapped his arms tighter around his knees. “Is there a need? You deceived CCG, got many fine humans killed, and apparently fell in love with our number one enemy. Am I supposed to have anything to say to you?”

            “I have things to say to _you_.” Arima sat besides Ui as Eto nodded approvingly from the back of the lab, where she lounged between Tatara and a visibly distressed Hirako.

            “You were a phenomenal inverstigator. Not many dedicate themselves as you did, even after you lost everything.”

            “But I’d never had anything to begin with!” Ui snapped. “You and – and – Hairu – you were ghouls.”

            “She, at least, was solidly on your side.” Arima eyed him. “First Class Ihei is like a little sister to me.” He smiled bitterly. “She used to make me play ‘Red Light, Green Light’ for hours.”

Despite himself, Ui felt a smile on his lips. He squashed it like a fly. She was a ghoul. A fucking ghoul.

“We all knew we were dying at a much faster rate than humans. I think Hairu was one of those who wanted to die faster, before anyone found out.”

“Dying?”

“We’re failed ghouls, remember?” Arima looked up at the grimy ceiling lights, at the dead flies trapped within. “I wouldn’t have another year left if …Kaneki hadn’t…. I still might not. Bt while I’m here, I think Eto wants me to live to the fullest.”

Arima’s eyes soared through his glasses and into Ui’s. “When I met her, I was utterly dedicated to the CCG’s promise that I could atone for being made in the wrong test tube. She – well, she convinced me that life was more, and that I was strong enough to fight back. Even if it meant damning my soul, I could fight back.”

“And did you?”

“Damn? I don’t remember.”

“You could have at least remembered something useful from the grave,” Ui dared to say.

Arima chuckled. “You know how she convinced me?”

“No.” Ui shrugged.

“She was a half-ghoul. That’s it.” Arima nodded. “She was the product of a human and a ghoul’s love. Even if _she_ never saw it that way. She is proof humans and ghouls can interact without annihilating each other.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“Because you deserve to know. And I should have told you.” Arima gulped. “Kaneki isn’t the only investigator I love like a son, Ui.”

“You still love him though he killed you?” Ui blurted out, fighting the tears creeping into his eyes.

“That was planned.”

Karren Von Rosewald burst out laughing. “Planned, down to the script where he lied for you!”

“What are you talking about?” Ui swung around to glare at her.

“Are you seriously so dense? All of you?” Karren giggled. “Since when would Kaneki kill Arima? I don’t know what went down, but he’s a terrible liar.”

Ui blanched. “You’re still lying to me?”

Arima stayed silent.

“Arima! I love him like a son, too.” Akira strode over. “Remember, I was his engineered mother? For God’s sake, you have to tell me the truth.”

“Arima.” Eto watched with interest. “I appreciate you following my plan, but you were right.”

“Say that again?”

“I don’t need to.” Eto ran a hand through her hair.

“I killed myself. Slit my throat to give ghouls a powerful king to rally about.” Arima’s voice was hoarse, his eyes glassy.

Akira ground her teeth, and Ui couldn’t see in anything but spirals. _Kaneki hadn’t killed Arima._

Kaneki was kind even after the deepest betrayal.

 _He’s a ghoul, and I’m a human_. Ui pressed his hands over his eyes. _Are humans the hopeless ones?_

“ _Non_ ,” said Tsukiyama to the stunned silence. “Kaneki’s gentleness is his strength.”

 

            A sob send Suzuya leaping from bed in the blackest morning hours. After frantically grabbing for Jason – only to remember he’d had to leave his quinque with those in the lab – he scanned the room to see Nami twisted up in blankets, sobbing. “Are you sleeping?”

“Hmm?” Nami blinked the sleep from her eyes. “Juuzou.”

“Hi.” He wrapped his arms around her as she twisted around to face him.

“I love you.” Nami buried her head in his shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” she choked out, “I can’t help crying. They say you’re more emotional when you’re having a baby.”

“You miss your friend.” Suzuya smoothed her hair. Furuta was their enemy, but he’d been a friend to Nami.

“I miss a friend who never really existed. I guess – I guess I just hoped he could exist someday, and now he never will.” Nami sniffled. “I know he did evil, but so have so many here. Was I wrong to hope he could change too?”

“No. I changed, remember.” Suzuya fingered the blanket. “I think, in the end, he knew. He knew what was good, I mean. Not like Big Madam.”

Nami waited.

“I’ve seen unrepentant death. His wasn’t that.” Suzuya wiped his eyes. “I miss Madam.”

He shuddered. Wasn’t that horrible?

Nami understood. She always did. “I miss Souta. Maybe it’s okay to miss horrible people.”  

They smiled at each other, and Nami wondered if tonight she should reclaim part of herself. With Juuzou.

“I want your kisses,” Suzuya said.

As she drew him close and pressed her tongue around his, Nami’s mind lifted with the fear of one standing over a cliff. Her heart trembled.

But maybe it was time. She was willing, at any rate.

Maybe the sooner she did, the sooner she could forget Tsuneyoshi. But maybe she could never really forget and this was simply reclamation. Maybe, for he and her, this was redemption.

“Do you want to do more?” Nami burst out.

Suzuya blinked. “I – ”

“I don’t care what you can or cannot do. I only care about what you want. I think – I think we could be happy together.”

“We are,” Suzuya said, but he was curious, and in his dreams he was whole and he did it with Nami. “How do I –?”

“Here.” Nami guided his hand to her chest.

“Oh!” Awash in fireflies, Suzuya giggled. He felt that strange, pleasant sensation he rarely felt until she kissed him, and suddenly he really, really wanted to be as close to her as possible.

He hovered over her, exploring her mouth with his tongue. She let out a squeak and he pulled back. “Are you okay?”

“Oh! Yes. I love how that felt.” Nami’s cheeks were red. “May I – would you mind if I take off my clothes?”

Suzuya’s heartbeat drowned out sound. He shook his head. “Let me help you.”

Nami giggled as he pulled off her shirt. “Tickles.”

“You’re uh, very beautiful.” Suzuya averted his eyes.

“You don’t have to look away if you don’t want to.”

“I don’t; I just want to make sure you’re comfortable, Nami.” Suzuya ran a finger around her nipples. “I’m not going to hurt you.” He drew a deep breath and fumbled for the buttons on his shirt. “You can look at me, too.”

Fear arrived late, when he was bare before her. His hands covered where Madam had crushed him years ago. “Uh…”

“Hey.” Nami kissed his nose. Her face flooded with emotions, and he knew she understood and loved him for the man he was. “You know you’re beautiful. Handsome.”

Suzuya brightened. He’d been called beautiful many times, but never handsome. His hands lifted away from his body and Nami was kissing him again, confessing how much she loved him, and he felt truly special.

Not special as Big Madam had insisted, but special to someone special.

“Can – you show me?” he squeaked.

“In a way,” said Nami, “you’re showing me.”

Tonight she made love with someone. She moved her body in rhythm with his, laughed at their false starts and awkward movements and Suzuya’s shock when he came, and cried when she did because she never had before. For the first time she felt as if all of her, including her body and even the child within, were treasured.

 

“Kaneki.” Touka knew she ought to be quiet, but the door slammed into the wall despite her efforts.

“Touka – what?” Kaneki stirred and sat up, disheveled in ostentatious pajamas clearly made for Shuu.

All her rehearsed speech, all her determination to avoid what she really wanted, evaporated.

She slid the door shut behind her and stalked over to him. “I love you, you crazy fool.”

“Touka?”

And then her mouth was on his, soft and warm and sharp, and he had fallen back onto the soft feather mattress.

“I love you.” Touka smiled down at him, caressing his hair.

Kaneki stared up at her, hardly daring to reach forward, as if he didn’t deserve –

“You can touch me.”

Kaneki shoved his fears aside for one moment, because even if just for fucking now, he loved Touka and _felt_ her love for him.

            His fingers rubbed her breasts in circles. “They’re so…squishy.”

            Touka giggled and pushed him down for another kiss.

            Kaneki groaned and suddenly he wanted to take his shirt off and fling it – nope, instead he had to catch it around his neck and nearly strangle himself before dropping it – to the floor.

            Touka’s eyes flickered as she dared to touch his muscles; she feared she might sully his holiness. So this was why she had to encourage him to touch her first. “You were so skinny before.”

            “We were kids.” Kaneki smiled.

            “Here.” Touka pulled off her own shirt and to Kaneki’s relief, she too lost her way in the fabric.

            “Do you need help?” Kaneki asked nervously.

            “Uh – I’ve got it!” Touka broke free with a laugh. “Even the great king is undone by fabric, so I’m not ashamed.”

            “Good,” said Kaneki, with a twinge of guilt at the word _king_.

            “I originally came here to see how you’re coping.”

            “I love you.” Kaneki’s hands were tugging off her underwear, and to her surprise, she didn’t feel afraid at all.

            “I love you too, Kaneki.” Touka pulled him foreward and gasped in pain.

            “You okay?”

            “Let’s slow down. It’s okay.” Touka nibbled his nose. “You don’t have to be so gentle with me. Don’t hold back – in here, out there, whenever you’re with me.”

            “T – touka.” He gasped her name and she gasped his, and for once, Kaneki felt home.

 

            “Are you listening to this?” Nishiki cringed.

            “I’m trying not to. Although I _am_ happy for them.” Hairu brushed back her hair. “Can’t sleep?”

            “Not when Kimi’s in danger and our friends are riding each other.” Nishiki adjusted his glasses from sliding down his nose. “Kimi is my girlfriend. She was a double agent against Kanou and Furuta.”

            “She is?” Hairu’s eyes popped open. She had to focus on the surprise so she wouldn’t think about Koori. Her lips trembled. “I figured the girlfriend part, but…wow. She was nice.”

            _Shit, don’t cry on me_. Nishiki spoke quickly. “I know how you feel.”

            Hairu cocked her head.

            “I thought Kimi would turn me in and have me killed. That’s how my sister died,” he said, as if he were discussing the weather.

            _I guess ghouls just expect death_. Hairu swallowed her growing guilt.

            “Uh, but I don’t think that priggish investigator would do that to you. If he’s really as ethical as he claims, why would he betray you?”

            “Because he’ll think I’ve betrayed him. I spent – all my life – fighting my own kind, and still he’ll think I’m a traitor because of how I was born.” Hairu’s voice cracked. “I’m so sorry.”

            “Well, if he dumps you, that only means he doesn’t deserve you.”

            “Am I supposed to find that comforting? I have half a mind to go back in my room and smash those vials. Why am I alive?” Hairu punched the wall, and upstairs, the creaking bed stopped.

            “Okay, wow. You’re strong.” Nishiki grabbed her hands. “And you’re alive because Kimi is brilliant and Kanou’s crazy, but we can ignore the Kanou part.”

            “I want you to tell me I have a purpose. I want to know I’m going to do something important.” Hairu sneered. “But no one can guarantee that, can they?”

“No, but wasn't Kaneki just a random victim when Furuta dropped beams on Rize? Wasn’t Tsukiyama just a hedonist gourmet? Weren’t you just another talented investigator who met an early demise? And now Kaneki’s a leader – or learning to be one, at any rate – Tsukiyama’s caring for others’ wellbeing instead of their taste, and you’ve come back from the fucking dead. Do you realize how special that is already?” Nishiki leant back. “Hell, if you did nothing else but eat chocolate the rest of your life, you’re still special and you’ve already accomplished something important.”

Hairu fell quiet for a moment, unsure if she wanted to take his comfort. “Who were you before?”

“A loner who used Kimi and bullied Kaneki.” Nishiki grinned. “Kaneki changed everything, you know. And he still dares to hate himself.”

“Doesn’t give me much hope for me.” Hairu shook her head. “But if he needs a bodyguard, I’ll be perfect for him.”

            Yoriko bounded down the hall. “Isn’t this great? Touka took my advice!”

            “Are you sick?” Nishiki erupted.

            “What? They’re happy. What’s the harm?” Yoriko smiled. “Jealous?”

            “Shut up.” Nishiki blushed.

            “You shouldn’t tell a lady to shut up.” Hairu shoved him to the side. “I’ve got a kagune thanks to your girl, and I’m not afraid to use it.”

 

“You realize,” Tatara said icily, “you killed people I loved.”

“You realize,” Houji mimicked, “you did the same?”

“Did you ever wonder what would have happened?” Tatara bit off every word. “If I had listened to you and we’d enacted our plan?”

“Our plan?” Houji scoffed. “To ignore the world and run away together? It’s a fair dream, but not for you and me.”

“How cute. You two were made to hate each other.” Eto grinned.

“You’re not welcome, Owl,” snapped Houji.

“Tatara welcomes me. Besides, I’m not the only Owl, remember? There’s daddy dearest, and that one over there.” Eto pointed towards Seidou, who, despite his turned back, jerked as if he knew they were speaking of him.

“The one who killed me for you,” Tatara admitted. “Can’t say I blame him, after what we did. But I _am_ surprised at your coldness towards your friends.”

Houji hung his head. “He was a ghoul. He could never be my friend.”

Tatara swore in Chinese before storming away.

“Kiss and make up?” Eto suggested. “It’s worked before.”

“Please shut up.” Houji shivered.

“No, I think you and your bigoted lunacy need to shut up,” said a somber voice from behind him.

He spun around to see Kurona Yasuhisa glaring down at him. “For the record, half-ghuls – people like Seidou and I – have been through hell your violent heart couldn’t comprehend. You’d break like a twig.”

“Cliché, but true,” Eto remarked.

Kurona narrowed her eyes. “Don’t act so glib, Owl. Yo told me once no one could love me. Well, I’ve found people who love me, and they’re not my family, so there. They’re called friends.”

“Touché.” Eto was unfazed.

“But you.” Kurona swung her sights back to Houji. “You abandoned your friend. Yes, you abandoned him. Akira didn’t. Amon didn’t. He was my enemy and I’ve been more a friend to him than you. Fuck you.”

Kurona sauntered away, only to stop and place her hands on her hips. “And now I’m going to kiss him, but there’s no need to make up because I’m his true friend.”

“That’s the spirit!” Eto pumped her fists in the air as Seidou scrambled away.

“K – Kurona –”

Kurona scowled, advancing upon him. “What? You don’t want to? We’re the same, former investigators turned ghouls. We’ve both lost our families. What do you have to lose?”

Seidou stammered. “Um – um – uh –” God, everyone was staring at them. “Uh … you.”

Kurona’s mouth trembled. “Me?”

Seidou nodded, his pale face now pink as a watermelon.

She smashed her lips against his. Seidou stumbled back.

“Tres bien, Seidou!” hollered Tsukiyama, and Amon threw in a whistle.

Seidou pulled away. He felt his chapped lips, his misaligned eye sockets, his hunched back. “You…don’t think I’m disgusting?”

“No one here does,” Kurona promised.

Could it be? Too afraid to survey the room, Seidou found himself entranced by those dark, dark eyes – comforting, unapologetic eyes.

His lips bit into hers, and kissing him almost felt like kissing a puppy. Kurona giggled.

After a minute, Seidou realized he was smiling too much to keep kissing her.

“Sit next to me?” he implored.

“From here on.” She sank next to him, her head over his beating heart.

 

“Aren’t they cute?” Akira grinned at Amon. “I wish we had wine to toast them.”

“ _You_ don’t need wine.”

She smirked back. “Dawn’s soon.”

“And we have no more hope than before.”

“No more hope that _we_ can see.” Akira nodded. “It’s there. It has to be.”

“At least we’ve had the chance to discuss things,” Kuriowa said gruffly. “Heaven knows we broken souls need it.”

Enji smiled. “The boss did always say that stories help people.”

By his side, Irimi couldn’t resist turning around to eye Eto.

“Wait.” Amon leant forward. “Say that again.”

“Stories help people,” sang Eto.

“That’s it!” Amon leapt to his feet.

 

“So this is the 24th ward.” Kaneki stood, his hand in Touka’s and hers in Yoriko’s, flanked by Hairu, Nishiki, Suzuya, and Nami. After Amon’s call, Chie and Banjou had stayed behind in the mansion – though they could have used er smarts and his muscle.

The sun peeked out between buildings, just at the right angle to blind him.

Mirumo stepped forward with a squint. “I’m afraid I’m not a popular figure here.”

“We can get you through,” Hairu promised, nodding with Nishiki.

“It’s more them I fear for.” Mirumo nodded towards Yoriko and Suzuya.

“We’re strong. We’ve got this.” Nami swallowed. “Now let’s get in there before Kanou’s minions eat us.”


	18. Bodies

**Chapter Eighteen**

**Bodies**

 

“It’s awfully damp down here,” Yoriko said with a grimace as she grabbed Touka to avoid losing her balance on the slimy steps.

“We must be at least a kilometer down by now,” muttered Nishiki.

“We’re near the bottom.” Nami pointed her flashlight forward, towards a dripping tunnel. “See?”

“You grew up around here?” Nishiki shook his head. “No wonder Furuta was whacked.”

Arima and Hsaio had begun here, too. Kaneki shook his head.

“Is this kagune?” As they finished their descent, Mirumo reached out to stroke the slippery tunnel wall.

“I think so.” Nami shivered, and Suzuya remembered that day so long ago, when he’d faced down Nashiro and Kurona in a building walled with kagune.

He wished he could tell Shiro how sorry he was.

“Just a bit further.” Hairu hurried forward and skidded to a halt. “Yes. Here.”

“Here where?” Touka asked.

“Here.” Hairu smiled and leapt to press her hand into the ceiling.

A shrill beep noise startled Kaneki. The floor beneath them began to sink.

“Is this supposed to happen?” Yoriko raised her voice.

“Yes. Watch out.” Hairu reached out to stabilize Nami as the floor tilted, sending them tumbling down before a shiny metal door. “Kagune technology isn’t always safe, you see.”

“Remarkable,” huffed Mirumo.

“We can get you in.” Nami stepped in front of the door and tapped a sequence of buttons. Red, then blue, green on the left and green on the right.

A panel above the door slid open with a buzz. A laser bore straight into Nami’s eye.

“Iris scanner,” Hairu said, biting her lip.

“Let’s go.” Nami’s voice thinned as the doors whooshed apart.

 

“Look, Chie, I don’t care how you do it, just please get it done,” Amon pled.

“And here I thought talking to Shuu was annoying,” Chie replied. Amon could hear the _click clack_ of a keyboard through the phone. “Not that I blame you for being uptight.”

Tsukiyama doubled over with silent laughter, and Amon gave him his sourest glare.

“Congrtulations, Mr. Amon. You’ll be live in five minutes.”

Amon’s chest felt as if it might explode. “Thanks.”

            “You ready?” Hinami extended a hand towards Akira.

“Ready as ever.” Akira grasped her hand and stepped into the path of the security camera. _Dad used to say that._

 

Nami was stiller than a pillar of salt, and about as fragile.

“Is she okay?”

Touka jabbed her elbow into Nishiki. “Shut up.”

Blood, blood was everywhere. And it wasn’t even fresh. This was old, crusted blood, dark and dusty. Not even a starving ghoul would eat this.

Suzuya stepped futher inside, shining his flashlight towards the ceiling, towards lamps that would have outlit the sun. But they’d long been smashed.

The grass was trampled and in some cases overturned. One chunk had been shoved into the mouth of an old woman’s decaying remained. A strand of brittle purple hair flowed down her face, obscuring her eyes.

“Megumi,” croaked Hairu.

“She was Rize’s mother.” Nami began to shake.

She hated the women here, the ones who’d raised her and Rize like cattle for slaughter, but now she’d never be able to confront them. She was supposed to confront them and end her hatred, wasn’t she?!

“What – what happened?” Yoriko held Nami steady, afraid of herself because she wished she’d never come.

“It has to be Furuta.” Kaneki bent besides another bloated body. “Probably around the same time he consolidated his power.”

“I don’t think one artificial ghoul could do all of this. My son couldn’t even do all of this.” Mirumo frowned. As disgusting as the rot was, he couldn’t bear this corpse’s open eyes. He had to bend over and close them.

“Clowns. They’re in Furuta’s pocket, no?” Touka fought nausea.

“Seems strange that neither Uta nor Itori mentioned it, then.” Kaneki turned around to face Nami and Hairu. “Do you think this dragon is already loose?”

“I don’t know –” Hairu began, but Nami cut her off.

“There were kids here.”

“We know,” Touka said angrily. She couldn’t think of this anymore. People, reduced to rot.

“No, you don’t.” Suzuya straightened. “Because they’re not here. There’s only adult bodies.”

 

“My name is Akira Mado, former First Class Ghoul Investigator,” said the pretty blonde now filling everyone’s television screens.

“What the fuck is happening?” As the only loyal Special Investigator left, Mougan Tanakamaru felt increasingly disturbed by the recent turn of events. _Et tu, Kiyoko?_

What would Shinohara think of this? Aura and Kuriowa would never rebel unless they had reason.

What would Kasuka and Kureo think of their daughter?

“My name is Hinami Fueguchi,” said the brunette teenager besides Akira. “Former member of Aogiri Tree.”

 _Number 745_.

“I grew up cognizant of ghouls in ways most of you probably didn’t,” said Akira. Amon’s cross was slick in her hand, but how she hoped God heard her. “My parents were ghoul investigators, and I wanted nothing more than to follow in their footsteps. My resolve only increased when my mother died in battle.”

“I grew up wanting to go to school so I could read stories without pictures. My least favorite day of the month was feeding day, when Dad went out searching for suicide victims because he didn’t want to kill.” Hinami blinked back tears. “But I was happy.”

 

In the back of the lab, Eto nibbled on her lip as Seidou and Kurona glared at her. She remembered the fear on Kasuka’s face right before she’d sliced open her chest. _Was this how Mom felt_?

“I don’t hate you, Eto, no more than they hate each other.”

“Shut up, Kishou.” She felt him settle down behind her. His back made a good headrest.

“You had a loving father and threw him away for his mistakes. I was never loved.” His voice was crisp and even, perfect for hiding emotion. “But I don’t hate you, because what would that solve?”

“You love me, you bastard.”

“Both true,” he said dryly. “But I’d rather you make a similar decision.”

“You know I love you.”

“You’re too smart to convince anyone with that stupid act.”

“Shut up, Kishou,” she snapped again, taking her focus back towards Hinami and Akira.

“What did I want revenge for? Revenge couldn’t bring back Mom and Dad,” Hinami said through a trickle of tears.

“Dad was cruel to her.” Akira’s chin trembled. “But he was also the best father. We’re both just orphans who want our parents back. And the line between human and ghoul is about to blur even more…”

Kurona dragged Seidou on screen, Amon with a strong arm around him.

 

“We haven’t checked taken the Southern Gate,” Nami said. “Right? They couldhave escaped through there.” _Or been kidnapped. Or we could find their baby corpses._

“Let’s go.” Hairu shoved past overgrown brambles to slam her fist onto another pinpad. She’d wanted this garden demolished, but no, not like this.

“This will lead us out into the rest of the 24th ward.” Nami watched Juuzou and Kaneki yank aside the thorns to let her and Touka pass. A woman stretched out her arm towards the door, as if she’d fallen protecting the fleeing children.

“I’m not that delicate,” Touka declared with a huff. She would have said anything rude to seem normal after the carnage of this garden.

“Well? What floor?” Hairu stepped onto an elevator.

She’d stepped here many times before, heading to the lab directly underneath the surface for doctors who made sure she grew into the fertile body she’d been raised to be.

“Either the top they would have been familiar with, or the bottom. The farthest from here. I don’t know which.” Nami shrugged.

“I vote the bottom first. We’d know if a gaggle of wild ghoul kids suddenly appeared in Tokyo.” Nishiki hesitated. “Kaneki?”

“I agree. Bottom it is.” He swallowed, wishing he could believe these kids were alive. Suppose he chose wrong, and they died?

They’d been there for months. They’re already dead. He tried to shake off his uncertainty, but he couldn’t – because, dammit, uncertainty would be with him until he died.

Touka. He hadn’t felt uncertain about _her_. Kaneki moved closer.

 

“Anyone else?” called Tsukiyama, wiping his eyes as his confession echoed in the lab. _I’m selfish. I chased beauty because it was all I could never feel._

Karren nuzzled his neck, and he saw her tender smile and remembered that Father had been proud of him even when he broke.

“You’re strong, Gourmet,” Amon said quietly.

“You’re quite the gourmet yourself. Of decent personalities.” Tsukiyama snickered, but in the end he had to smile.

Hajime hesitated, and Shio opened his mouth, but Yusa elbowed him silent.

Ui mustered all bravado. “I’ll go with you.”

“Me?” Hajime hesitated – but there were Rikai, Yusa, and Shio smiling at him, and Mayazumi and Daisuki and Akiko begging him to redeem them.

“Okay.” He held out his hand.

 

When the elevator doors swept open, Mirumo gasped, but most were too overwhelmed for an audible response.

Domed buildings and stately homes swept out for a kilometer or more, dusty and dirty and dark. Silence incompatible with a city met their ears, save for the rumble of a slimy tree trunk through the main street.

“What the hell?” Nishiki breathed.

Kaneki stepped off the elevator. “I smell ghoul.”

“It’s a kagune, isn’t it?” Suzuya nudged the oily tree with his foot.

“I don’t know anything anymore.” Nami fought the urge to scream. The kids and Kanou could be anywhere.

Yoriko’s shriek nearly came too late. Touka managed to yank her out of the way of three flying kagunes.

“You fuckers!” she yelled, igniting her own kagune.

“Touka, wait!” Kaneki bellowed, tackling her just in time for Nishiki and Hairu to slam two of the three children onto the ground.

Suzuya was about to kick the other when the kid burst into tears at the sight of his friends in the arms of strange ghouls. “No!”

 _They remind me of me_. Suzuya watched Nami’s face melt, and then she was kneeling besides the kid, rubbing his back.

 _She wouldn’t have rejected me, even then_. He smiled to himself.

“These aren’t the kids we’re looking for,” Touka said, sick at what she’d nearly done.

Kaneki squeezed her hand, and Yoriko smiled at her.

 _They love me. They accept me_.

One of the kids slapped Nami’s hand away. “Yarra nargas!”

 

“I can’t take this anymore. How can any of us? Men and women, we may not know what is right, but we know this is wrong.” Mougan threw his quinque in the air.

“Suppose it’s a trap?” demanded a reporter.

“Suppose it’s not? I think it’s worth the risk,” Mougan said.

“Well, sir.” Another reporter hurried up. “The polls are changing dramatically in favor of freeing the ghouls, so long as they agree not to harm us.”

“Fantastic.” Mougan looked around his fellow investigators. “Are we agreed?”

“You’ll do the negotiations.”

“I wouldn’t have it otherwise.” Mougan strode toward CCG _._ “Someone turn back on our cell service!” _Paging Kiyoko Aura._

 

 

“I can’t understand their dialect,” said Mirumo, “and I know more languages than all of us combined.”

“They’re cute.” Yoriko ruffled a child’s greasy brown hair. The girl squealed with delight.

“We won’t eat you,” Kaneki said desperately.

“Et?” A teenager cocked his head. “Et?”

“ _You_. We won’t eat you,” said Touka.

Nami swallowed. She was about to be a mother. She ought to interact with these kids. Instead she felt drowned in despair.

“We?” A kid gasped. “Et ut?!”

“They’re not ghouls like the rest of us,” called a voice in welcome discernable language.

Touka gasped. “Asa!”

“Hi there.” A girl with sandy hair and boy’s clothing waved her tattooed arm as another the kids dragged her forward.

“What are you doing here?”

“Surviving.” Asa adjusted her knit hat. “Hi, I’m Asa. I apprenticed for Uta briefly.”

“Why are you here now?” Suzuya asked.

“You’re human!” Asa’s eyes lit up. “Anyhow, I’m here because I’m one of many refugees from the surface. The new Washuu director had his cronies nearly kill me. I would have died if it weren’t for Ikoma here.”

A lanky ghoul Kaneki recognized tiptoed outside a doorless house. “I heard of a place where ghouls are fed straight Rc cells from a neverending kagune. Some investigations led me here.”

“Like cannibalism?” Mirumo frowned.

“No. We eat this.” Asa sauntered up to the kagune tree and slapped it. “Gives us strength without hurting anyone, and you can even _cook_ with it. I’m learning to _cook_.”

Nami stared at the Rc bounty. Ought she…

“Here. You need food.” Yoriko grabbed a chunk of kagune and held it out to Nami.

“So, anyway, we’re refugees, and most of the kids have lived here for generations. What brought you all here?” asked Ikoma, leaning against the doorframe.

“We need help,” said Kaneki.

 

“I’m supposed to argue for ethics. I have many logical arguments. If we survive, I’m happy to publish them for academic value, even if one disagrees.” Ui’s voice shook. He might die soon. “But I can’t talk about that now. All I can tell you – all I want to tell you, really – is a story about the most beautiful woman I know.”

He sucked in a breath as Hajime nodded at him. “Her name is Hairu Ihei, and I love her. She was born in a test tube, a failed experiment by Dr. Kanou and his cronies. A failure to combine ghoul and human. She was destined to die by age thirty-five.”

“And she taught me more about life than anyone else. She was brave, and she fought her own nature by slaughtering ghouls with more skill than most investigators. She was kind and cheerful, and you’ve never seen anyone enjoy food more than she enjoys a melon bun.”

“Hey,” joked Tsukiyama. “Karren, I want a melon bun.”

Ui muffled a sob. “And she could never tell me she wasn’t fully human. Because she loved me, she wanted me to think the best of her. But love – love shouldn’t require lies. The world is wrong if it requires lovers to lie to one another. And I’m done forcing her to lie, to say she’s human and keep me, or accept her nature and unlove me. I love you, Hairu Ihei, even if I don’t get out of here and I don’t see you again.”

“What do you mean, you believe us?” Kiyoko barked into her phone.

The lab fell silent.

“Oh. Oh. I see. Well, it’s about time, Mougan…yes, Aura’s fine. He’s been braver than me, actually.”

Aura flushed, and Higemaru elbowed him in his recently-healed ribs. Saiko kissed his cheek, and for a moment, he felt home.

Kiyoko snapped her phone shut. “We’re going to let Mougan in. Seems our stories are having the desired effect.”

“I knew it,” breathed Ogura.

“So we’re free?” asked Mayazumi, biting his cheek. “They won’t hate us?”

“I don’t know. All I know is we now have a channel that wasn’t open before.” Kiyoko wheeled towards the door of the lab. “Someone open this thing.”

“Mayazumi,” said Hirako, “you Oggai will be with me and Squad Zero for now.”

“The Quinx will defend you!” Mutsuki hurried forward. “Right, Urie?”

“Right.” His face turned green even as Higemaru’s turned pink with excitement. _Hyperactive, maladapted children, what can go wrong_?

“We’ll go first, as leaders.” Amon gestured towards Tsukiyama.

“I knew Mougan,” Arima said.

“Fine, then you, Eto, Naki, and Ogura should also come along as leaders of your respective groups.”

“Kimi would be better. She was our founder, and she knows Kanou.” Ogura stepped back into the crowd.

“Great. If we’re not back in ten minutes, please – don’t panic.” Amon wasn’t ready to face another investigator. He wasn’t ready to face his past, but he would do this for the rest of them.

 

“We’ve been watching your surface exploits in our TV center.”

“The CCG officer confessing his love for Hairu the ghoul is the stuff of fairy tails,” chattered Asa.

“What?” gasped Hairu. “I’m Hairu! Let me see!”

“The feed is over. I – uh – I’m sure they’ll let them all go,” stammered Asa, backing away.

 _Ui, please_. Hairu’s eyes flooded.

“And to answer your question, Kaneki, I haven’t seen any kids, but a human did arrive here not long ago.” Ikoma’s eyes traveled to his guitar inside. He could die and never play again. But if he didn’t help them – he’d never play anything worthwhile again, anyways.

“He took some of our kagune ‘for research.’ Said he was working on a cure for ghoulism.”

“As if we need a cure!” Asa scowled.

“Doc dun back after he kilt da bozos,” piped up the girl hanging onto Touka’s legs.

“Bozos?” Mirumo hesitated.

“Clowns,” Nami said urgently.

“Fuck.” Touka hesitated. She oughtn’t swear, right? “We need to find his location stat. And someone call Uta!”

“We have only one center where your phone will work. Come on.” Ikoma took off down the street.

“If you’re lying, I’ll powder my face with your bones and paint my lips with your blood.” Tsukiyama’s kakugan burned through Mougan’s resolve.

“Certainly.” His gaze traveled to Amon, and Akira behind him. “So.”

“Mougan, there’s a lot of us ghouls you knew.” Arima stood next to Amon.

“Y – yes, clearly.” He laughed weakly.

Eto waved at him.

“Were you telling the truth when you claimed to collaborate with her?”

“I was.” Arima wasn’t one to hold regrets, but the faces of those who’d died by his inaction revived, haunting him even more than those he’d slaughtered.

“We both have an army of ghosts behind us,” Eto said to Mougan. “You won’t get an apology, but you will get understanding. Is that sufficient?”

“It’ll have to be.”

“Or maybe,” said Keijin, snapping his phone shut, “we can make it sufficient by capturing Dr. Kanou. He’s at a church in the 24th ward. Suzuya’s asking for everyone we can get.”

“Well,” said Mougan, “Suzuya’s one of our own. Let’s go to his aid.”

“I’ll give you an interview later, dear.” Tsukiyama winked at a reporter as he sauntered towards waiting CCG vans.

 

_Three Hours Later_

“You’re not at all sad about Souta?” Itori placed her hands on her hips. The reflections of stained glass danced around her. She was pleasantly surprised she hadn’t immediately incinerated upon entering a church for Souta’s ‘service.’

“Why would I be? His death has merely paved the way for more fun.” Donato smiled. “Do you feel that twinge in your heartstrings? It’s delicious, isn’t it? The seeds of tragedy are the seeds of power.”

“You must have a very odd definition of delicious.” Nico sighed. “I have’t felt this melancholy since my dear Yamori.”

“You know,” rang out a voice, “I may be considered the dumb one, but I’m not the outlaw priest hanging out in a church.”

“Roma!” Nico’s hands clapped over her cheeks. “Look who’s back!”

Uta frowned. “Asa?”

“I’ve been assigned to escort her to you by GOAT.” A pretty blonde walked with Roma down the aisle, her neck red from a new dragon tattoo.

“My, that’s quite the tattoo.” Uta smiled. “I like it.”

“You do?” Asa brightened. “I found it ironic. A way to say I won’t let dragons keep us down.”

“Down where, in the 24th ward?” Donato sounded amused. “Yes, I know all about that.”

“Oh.” Asa shrugged, unfazed by the infamous ghoul before her.

“What does GOAT want in exchange for this useless broad?” Nico gestured at Roma.

“Fuck you, Nico!”

“She’s just jealous because you’re prettier. Nico needs to laugh because she feels ugly inside.” Uta stretched across the altar. “Just like you need to laugh because you feel insignificant. And I’m lonely. And Itori needs knowledge.”

“And me?” Donato narrowed his eyes.

“I imagine, Father, that you have some sort of existential dread. You don’t go through church and not imagine _what if_ it were real. Sometimes I think the only reason you don’t believe is that you know you’d need to face yourself. You laugh to avoid.” Uta sang. “That’s why I made crosses on your eyes, because you use them to obstruct your perspective on life.”

“Hmm. Interesting perspective.” Donato spread his lips in a sneer. “Do you know why I’ve let all of you in my little posse?”

“Because we’re fabulous?”

“No, Nico, because you represent everything wrong with society. You and my son are queers, Itori’s a skank, Roma’s a ditz, and Souta was…an overly sexual child in an adult’s dying body. You’re sinners, bringing me my own brand of entertainment before I die.” Donato shrugged. “Everyone dies eventually. We shan’t honor Souta, because none of us deserve honor.”

Nico was the first to giggle, and soon the rest of them were smiling, nodding, as if they agreed.

Asa couldn’t do much, but she didn’t have to stand here. “Your son is an amazing artist, and your group wants normal, meaningful things in life! Relationships, beauty, knowledge: those are all things ghouls and humans share, right? Didn’t you show me so, Uta?” She pointed at Donato. “You’re better than that old creep!”

“I never chose based on my old man,” said Uta. Dammit, why did he always have to hurt himself?

“He’s still wrong!” Asa stomped her foot. “Fuck him and his nihilism, and you know what? I just said the holiest thing in here, if I do say so myself!”

The floor exploded, sending wooden boards and nails flying into the ghouls. An icy container of cells and aluminum tanks stretched below, housed with harvesting ghouls and new experiments pounding for freedom.

“What?” Asa gasped up to see Uta shielding her.

“First stop.” Dr. Kanou smiled from behind an enormous kakuja, controlled by a redheaded boy none of the clowns recognized.


	19. Awaken

**Chapter Nineteen**

**Awaken**

 

_“You mean to tell me you’re fine with getting pounded down here?”_

_“But – Hide – I can’t…”_

_“Can’t what? Can’t win? Ha, look at you, you’re friggin’ ripped.”_

_“You just need to remember your reason to live.”_

Kaneki stared. _That’s not what you said. You said I needed to find one._

“Kaneki!” Touka shook him. “We’re fucked! Come on, we need you.”

Hide writhed lunged forward, spitting fire towards a stream of CCG investigators.

 _Touka, you’re my reason. Or am I my own reason, because I like you?_ Kaneki hesitated.

 _“You can walk, can’t you?” Hide held out his hand. “I’ll say it as many times as I need. It may not be stylish, but, Kaneki,_ live.”

“Kaneki!” pled Suzuya.

“We know you’re stronger!” barked Hairu.

Kaneki’s eyes refocused on Touka’s lovely, firey face. “Help me get to CCG. We can coordinate a plan.”

_“Now trust me.” Hide smiled and rolled up his sleeve._

“Kimi!” Suzuya spotted her in the masses. He lunged forward and grabbed Nishiki’s girlfriend by her shoulders. “Get Nami and Yoriko out of here!”

“Get yourself out of here!” exclaimed Nishiki.

“I’m medically trained!” snapped Kimi.

            “If you think I’m leaving Takeomi and Touka –” Yoriko cut in, but the rumble of the collapsing church bell tower interrupted. “Oh.”

            “Please, you can do more good away from here,” pled Nishiki. “Who knows what else Kanou has planned?”

            Kimi’s eyes hardened. Her hands latched around Yoriko and Nami’s wrists. “Got it.”

            “Juuzou!” Nami whispered. “If you die, I’ll eat you.”

            “You better.” He smiled and gasped with delight as a van screeched to a halt at the edge of the crowd. Before the vehicle completely stopped, his squad spilled out, shouting and waving their quinques at him.

            “Come on.” Kimi tugged both women away.

            “I love you,” Nami exclaimed, suddenly overcome with the fear that she’d never see him again.

            Juuzou accepted Jason from Hanbee and looked over his shoulder with a grin. “I love you, too.”

            “Aw,” said Yoriko.

            But Kimi was all business. “Nami, Yoriko: is there anyone else Kanou and his cronies could get to?”

            “Anyone else…” Nami froze. In the midst of the chaos, Kaneki remained doubled over. _Kanou likes fucking with everyone we love_. “Mr. Shinohara!”

 

“Guess CCG wasn’t lying when they said they needed all of us,” muttered Hirako, stepping out of the van.

“The 24th word is gone.” Ui’s heart sunk.

“No, just devastated. They can come back once we finish off Kanou.” Eto nibbled her lip.

“Regretting employing him?” asked Hirako.

“Regrets are for idiots. It happened.” Eto shrugged. “Can’t take it back.”

“She’s regretting it,” Tatara translated, leaping onto the pavement.

“Wait!” Hirako gasped as a van of Oggai and the Squad Zero kids pulled up.

“Hirako, go with Arima. He could use your strength. I’ve got these ones.” Yomo pushed Shio and Hajime back. Hell, even Rize was there, curled up in a ball in the back of the van. “You’re not fighting here.”

“You need our numbers!” protested Shio.

“We need your numbers to help reconstruct this place when we win,” Hirako ordered. “Right, Arima?”

Eto jabbed him in the ribs. “I didn’t save their asses to kill them now.”

“Right.”

“Why are they here?!” Saiko Yonebayashi and Ching-Li Hsaio ran over.

“We’re starting over by not employing children, and that starts now!” snarled Hsaio.

“I agree,” said Ui. “It’s, uh, ethical.”

“You know what else is ethical?” said Eto slyly.

“What?” Ui spun around to see Tsuiyama, Amon, and several CCG leaders consulting with – Suzuya, Kaneki, and … Hairu.

“Talking to her. Off with you, Inspector Bowl-Cut.”

 

            “Hairu!” Ui Koori’s words melted before her. Just like his eyes, which were leaking tears. “You’re alive.”

            “Ui,” she whispered, but a figure behind Ui immediately caught her attention. “Oh, Arima!”

            Arima pointed to Ui. “He has something to say.”

            “I’m sorry,” Ui eked out. “I’m sorry let Furuta humiliate you. I’m sorry I insulted you when I killed ghouls.”

            “I mean, I did too.” She shrugged.

            “No, but I reacted – badly, too. You were everything to me, and when I found out you lied about something so important, I was afraid I wasn’t important to you. I don’t know what you went through in that Garden, but if Hsaio and Arima can be believed, I – I who grew up in a study home with everything I ever wanted, I am the worst hypocrite of all. I’m sorry I didn’t know you better. I’m so glad you’re alive – and I understand if you don’t want to use your second life on me.” Ui sank to one knee. “But if you do, I want to marry you and live happily ever after with you, like you’re the princess you are.”

            For a moment, she didn’t move and his self-hatred multiplied faster than a rabbit.

Then Hairu tackled Ui in a hug. “First we gotta defeat Maleficent.”

            Ui had to chuckle.

            “Then, of course I’ll marry you, Charming.” Hairu stroked his cheek, bending over him. “You don’t hate me.”

            Ui didn’t care that he lay on the filthy asphalt. She was looking down at him. Smiling. “No, nor any ghoul or half-ghoul or whatever. I’m fully on your side.”

            “Aw, look at them sucking face,” remarked Eto as Hairu nibbled his lip and Ui giggled. “Arima, go talk to Kaneki and let’s give them their two minutes of privacy during a crowded pre-battle. Remember ours?”

            “What?” Hirako nearly shrieked and Tatara found himself gagging onto Houji’s shoulder.

            “No?” Arima scowled. “That never happened.”

            “Well, not before a battle, I’ll give you that,” Eto conceded. “It’s enough for me that our friends thought it did.”

 

            “We have to kill them,” Tsukiyama said to Mougan and Amon. The church block was decimated. People scrambled to flee as more CCG vans full of ghouls and allies struggled to arrive and set up some means of a base.

            “I’m not so cavalier on life anymore,” he added tersely. “But look at them.”

            Amon swallowed. Bloated, one or three eyed, five-armed and limbless, mottle-skinned and bruised all over, these zombies had been through hell. _They were once people. Like me._

            And they were pouring out of the decimated church that swayed in the wind.

            Kanou was going to kill everyone, and no one knew why. Sure, he’d work for CCG, but he was neither a nihilist like Furuta nor a powerlord like Tsuneyoshi. He was simply desperate to stay alive at monstrous costs.

            “Tsukiyama’s right,” Akira said.

            The Snow Queen hadn’t called him _Gourmet_. Shuu blinked.

            Akira raised her voice. “We save as many lives as we can, including theirs. But at this point, we could easily be overrun. If that happens, you hit to kill and you _do not hesitate_ , because your death won’t be just about you. If you die, you’re risking someone else’s life. Got it?”

            “Got it,” said Naki as Miza squeezed his hand.

            “I like you.” Tsukiyama winked at Akira as Amon handed him a withering gaze.

            “What are we waiting for?” Seidou shuffled forward.

            “Kaneki, that’s who!”

            “Touka!” gasped Ayato with such relief she thought her heart would melt.

            “Yeah, yeah, we’re here.” Nishiki leapt out of the sewer to shove aside Itou, who had the audacity to stand between him and kissing Kimi.

            “What’s wrong with Kaneki?” Hinami frowned.

            “Look at the kakuja,” Juuzou said tightly.

            Amon grabbed Mougan’s binoculars. “Nagachika.”

            Kaneki shook his head. “I can’t.”

            Touka grabbed his hands. “You have to. Now! I’m about to lead Anteiku. The rest of you – shenanigans of Kanou, brilliant minds and powerful bodies – you need to fight on your own. Not alone, but on your own. Got it? I believe in you, Kaneki. Now trust me.”

            Kaneki choked. “Touka…”

            He saw Amon’s eyes, Akira’s eyes, Arima’s and Tsukiyama’s _. Everyone’s counting on me. To trust them._

_Hide smiled and rolled up his sleeve._

_I did this to him, didn’t I?_

_I did, but I can’t give up. I have to own it. Like Arima._

            “Go save these victims,” he croaked, shoving Touka back.

            She pecked him on the lips and sauntered away. “Black Dog! Devil Ape! With me!”

Tsukiyama hesitated. “And me?”

“We could use you.”

“Best of luck, my king.” Tsukiyama threw his arms around Kaneki.

“We got this, King Kaneki.” Karren saluted as she hauled Shuu towards Touka.

            “Amon, Seidou, Kurona. You guys know Kanou. Will you help me?” Kaneki pled.

            “Always.” Seidou laughed hoarsely.

            “My honor,” said Amon, bringing tears to Kaneki’s eyes.

            “We’re coming, too.” Mutsuki tugged Aura forward. “Urie, the clowns are here.”

            Urie hesitated.

            “Stay safe.” Saiko wave from her position guarding the Oggai. “We’re protecting the kids.”

            “Kids?” Yusa protested.

            “Kids,” Hirako confirmed. “Saiko, Hsaio, I trust you two.”

            “I will, too.” Hairu paused as she struggled to her feet. “They’re my siblings.”

            “I’ll be with Arima, then?” Ui accepted her hand up and wiped her saliva from his scarlet face.

            “Good. Keep him safe, too. None of you are dying on me again!” Hairu glared at Arima.

 

“I never thought I’d be grateful for a lack of hospital security.” Kimi yanked the curtain around the bed.

 _Are we doing the right thing? It’s been so long_.

She had always trusted science when had nothing else to go on. Kimi whipped out her purse and brandished the syringe.

Nami watched the wasted, white figure under the sheets. “I hope he likes me.”

“He’d be dumb not to. Juuzou loves you, after all.” Kimi shook the syringe to ensure the liquid’s homogeneity.

“He hasn’t been around to change his own mind. He’ll just be thrust into a world that’s spun out of control.” Nami rubbed her stomach.

“Contractions?” Yoriko frowned.

“I think they’re just Braxton-Hicks. I’ve still got a month to go if we’re going by the date of conception.”

“I see. Keep note.” Kimi watched the girl tentatively reach out to hold Mr. Shinohara’s hand.

In any other context, this ghoul would seem like a childlike and kind daughter-in-law, well-informed on her condition. Her near-clinical knoweldge of pregnancy was the only indication that she hadn’t grown up in a sweet and innocent home, that she’d been prepared for this her entire life, without a choice.

Nami smiled under Kimi’s probing eyes. “I’m okay, Kimi.”

And she was. Juuzou had given her a choice. _Mr. Shinohara, I hope you still see what a beautiful man you raised._

Kimi climbed onto the bed and straddled Shinohara. The needle slid into his unblinking eyes.

 

“Down here!” Asa’s bruised and bloody face peeked through the smoke and rubble.

“Asa!” Touka ran forward, and Shuu used his kagune to swipe her free of rubble.

“I think Kanou took everyone by surprise.” She coughed. “Uta and Roma and Itori and Nico – they’re all down there. They fell through the basement floor.”

Irimi swore. If Uta had fallen, this dragon – Kaneki’s former friend, oh, she remembered – must be near impossible to break.

“Let’s rescue them.” Ikoma unleashed his kagune, and Karren was already hauling rubble with hers.

Koma wheezed. “It’s on fire.”

“We’ll more quickly, then.” Touka pushed her way into a crack in the fallen concrete.

“Uta?” She squinted as a hand wrapped around her ankle. “Ah!”

“Look around,” Itori managed, barely able to crawl. “Sz’a lab.”

“Sacre bleu.” Tsukiyama approached what looked like an upright coffin. “T – touka.”

“What?”

“I’ve got her.” Ikoma picked up Itori, who smiled at him.

“You’res han’some.”

“Uh, thank you.”

Touka approached the coffin and let out a cry.

 _Yoshimura, Kuzen_.

“He’s alive!” Tsukiyama’s fingers scrambled at the door.

“Stop! You could wreck what’s keeping him alive.” Karren grabbed Shuu. “We need to move all these out, plus the clowns.”

Touka followed the wall, for the smoke was quickly blinding her. “Here’s another.”

“Got it.” Irimi snatched _Shikorae, Rio’s_ coffin. “Help me, Koma.”

“I’ve got Roma!” Asa called from somewhere that sounded close, but black ash obscured her.

“Anyone seen Nico? Or Uta? Where are you?” cried Hinami. The smoke was killing her senses.

“Nico’s here,” said a weak voice directly below Touka.

“Oh hey.” She bent down when Ayato’s scream erupted to her left.

“Ayato!” Touka dragged Nico closer towards the sound, towards another coffin.

 _Kirishima, Arata_.

 

Kimi nearly stumbled with relief when Shinohara began to stir. “Nami, Yoriko, mind stepping back?”

Nami obeyed without question, though her hunched shoulders and shadowed eyes betrayed her fears. Yoriko followed, her eyes flitting between Shinohara and Nami.

Kimi pulled off his oxygen mask. If she was wrong and he died, she’d get his body to CCG before anyone knew. She would _not_ allow jail to keep her from Nishiki.

“Yukinori Shinohara. That is your name, isn’t it? Mr. Shinohara.” Kimi bent over him as the man’s eyes began to focus again.

“Hi.” She smiled nervously. “Hold on, I need to give you more medicine.”

Nami cringed in time with another contraction as Kimi jabbed another needle in his eye.

“Quick and done.” Kimi waved. “Hi there. It’s, uh, been about five years.”

“Who…?” Shinohara felt his lips move, but his voice remained garbled.

“I’m Kimi Nishino. I work for CCG and, uh, this is experimental treatment to revive you from a coma.”

“C – coma?”

“You sustained heavy blood loss during the Owl operation,” said Nami from her corner. “You saved Juuzou Suzuya’s life by taking the blow meant for him.”

“Suzuya…” Shinohara’s eyes widened. “He’s okay?”

“He’s an amazing leader,” said Nami, her eyes glowing, “and a better friend.”

“Unfortunately, CCG’s new leader was less amazing and hired a crazy scientist – Akahiro Kanou – to raise the dead. Which is where I come in.” Kimi shrugged. “The Washuus were ghouls, special ghouls, you see, and CCG’s new leader wanted to exterminate his kind in some revenge game. Ironically, now all ghouls and half-ghouls and artficial ghouls and Oggai and Quinx and humans are working together to save the world from Kanou.”

“Artificial ghouls and _what_?”

“It’s a long story and probably too much information,” Nami said quickly. “Your wife and kids –”

“My wife?” Shinohara asked at the same time.

Nami clasped her hands. “She and your children are doing well. Suzuya’s squad pays them regular visits, though sometimes it was too painful for Juuzou.”

She seemed to know him very well. Shinohara noted her rounded stomach. “You say you’re Juuzou’s friend?”

“Yes, but I’m a ghoul, you see,” blurted Nami. Yoriko’s hand tightened on her arm.

Shinohara raised an eyebrow.

            “Like I said. We’re working together now.” Kimi stepped between them.

            Did he trust Juuzou? Shinohara hesitated. The girl seemed sweet and harmless, but he’d seen far too many humans tricked by a ghoul’s appearance.

            “Besides,” Nami said, lowering her eyes, and settling a hand on her stomach, “if you were ever loyal to the Washuus, you should know that this is Tsuneyoshi’s.” She cringed at the thought. No, this kid wasn’t his in anything except DNA. But she would tell Shinohara anything to give Juuzou a chance.

            Shinohara wrinkled his nose. She was just a kid herself. Tsuneyoshi was old.

            “I was his pet.” A tremor seized Nami, and she hated herself for her fear.

            Shinohara froze. He couldn’t imagine if someone treated his daughter like that. It didn’t matter if she were a ghoul. Someone – the head of CCG, a traitorous ghoul himself if these women could be believed – had done that to her, and not that long ago, if she were still pregnant.

            “You’re surprisingly normal for mankind’s enemy,” Shinohara said lightly, placing a hand on her slight shoulder.

            Nami’s eyes widened. She looked like – well, like Juuzou had he’d claimed he’d be sad if he died.

            Kimi rubbed Nami’s arm. “Mr. Shinohara, we woke you to ensure Dr. Kanou wouldn’t use you against Juuzou. See, if you just get half the cure, you’ll be a zombie.” She swallowed. “I understand if you’re overwhelmed and want to go home. But I hav to ask you – the odds of our best ghouls, investigators, and hybrids against Dr. Kanou’s creations aren’t as good as you’d hope. Suzuya is fighting them now.”

My wife. Kids. Shinohara would never forgive himself if he died again before they could see him.

But…He would never forgive himself if he didn’t go.

“Let’s go.”

 

            “Oh my god. Oh my god. No, no, no!” Ayato was shaking and his fingers kept _slipping_ – he wasn’t _strong_ enough.

            “Ayato, stand down.” Hinami’s kagune slashed the wires keeping the coffin adjoined to the wall. “Now pick it up with me. On three. Wait, Touka – focus on Nico. On three, we get out. One, two three!”

            Ayato tugged up and Touka turned to leave.

            “I think not, pretty rabbits.” Donato Porpora manifested from the smoke, flames licking his heels.

Ayato froze. The priest was too close to Hinami – and he _knew_ she wouldn’t let Father fall because she loved him –

            “Go!” screamed a voice, as Uta launched himself at his father.

 

            The CCG van screeched to a halt near the blockade.

            “We’re reinforcements, move!” Kimi shoved a reporter out of the way as she, Nami, Yoriko, and Shinohara rushed forward.

            Nami gasped as Touka and a clown – Nico – struggled out of the church screaming. “Donato’s here! Donato’s behind everything!”

            “Amon!” Touka tried to whistle, but tears choked her. “Get your ass over here!”

            “What…is happening?” Shinohara watched Kishou Arima and the One-Eyed Owl swiping at an army of fleshy, misshapen humanoids. Working together. Because, of course.

            “Only kill if necessary. We need to save as many victims as possible – because it’s the right thing,” Nami declared.

            “We’re fucked, frankly. There’s too many.” Kimi hesitated. “Yoriko, take Nami over to those Oggai to wait. I’m gonna see to the wounded.”

            “Shinohara. You’re here. I mean, why wouldn’t you be? Washuus are ghouls and the dead live,” grumbled a voice behind him.

            “Marude!”

            “Yeah, yeah, I joined with ghouls too.” Marude crossed his arms. “We better get in the thick of it.”

            Shinohara eyed a shiny motorcycle behind him. “That yours?”

            “It’s time I experienced why that was such a popular move.”

 

            “What are you thinking?” spat Donato.

            “I’m thinking you’d like me better like this.” Uta melded into Amon Koutarou. _Yomo’s gotta see his brother-in-law again_. His excuses for Donato’s death blended with sincereity in a chaotic maelstrom Uta loved.

            “Is now the time?” Donato asked with annoyance.

            “It’s the perfect time, Father.” Uta’s kagune lashed out to leave a scarlet gash across Donato’s face.

            “Why you –”

            “Donato Porpora!” Urie Kuki and Higemaru Touma clamored into the burning basement.

            Donato watched them approach. “You two, again?”

            “Back and better than ever!” Higemaru announced.

            “You won’t be when I remove your head this time.” Donato sounded as if he were discussing the summer breeze.

            But Higemaru and Urie’s kagunes blocked his.

            “See, we learn from our mistakes.” Urie grinned, feigning confidence. _Mutsuki, I have to live for Mutsuki_.

            “And if I go for your crazy bitch over there?” Donato smirked at Mutsuki, who paused wrapping his kagune around a zombie to stare at them.

“His name is Tooru Mutsuki, and their love is mutual in a way ours can never be.” Amon leered at his father.

“Uta, that’s the one who assaulted you? You must have wanted it, hmm? Too bad it wasn’t even a penis for you.” Donato grabbed Uta by the neck.

“Don’t insult Mutsuki!” Urie hissed as Higemaru shot him a worried look.

“Or your real son.” The real Amon leapt forward, knocking Donato away from Uta. Donato’s mouth fell open as his son unveiled a full kakuja.

 

“I’m scared,” admitted Shio. “I wish we were helping.”

Hsaio crouched before Shio as Hairu rubbed his head. “Believe me, it’s better you’re not, and I promise that someday you’ll understand.”

“I feel useless,” Yoriko muttered as she and Nami settled besides the kids.

“Be my friend.” Hajime waved at her.

“And cook us treats.” Daiksuke teased.

 _Their dissociation powers are strong_ , Nami realized with a chill. _It’s never going to end, is it?_

“Looks like both of us Souzus are useless,” Rikai muttered.

Nami pressed her lips into a smile. “You’re never useless, Rikai.”

“Look out!” screamed Yoriko suddenly.

“Monster!” A human resembling a goblin or perhaps Gollum lunged for the children.

            “No!” Nami’s ukaku erupted before them, because she couldn’t chance a moment that Hsaio and Hairu wouldn’t react in time – she could, so she must.

            Her abdomen tightened, and then she felt a searing pain behind her – it took her far too long to realize that the kagune was slicing through her shoulder.

            “No!” Saiko’s fists sent the disheveled beast lurching back, but his kagune kept growing and growing – pushing Saiko back –

            Its head splattered off in a tornado of blood and brains that nearly tore Saiko apart. _These are people, people so ruined we’re killing them_.

            Nami saw Shinohara’s fuzzy, bleeding face – or maybe that was her own blood – god –

            “Fuck.” Hsaio lowered a profusely bleeding Nami to the ground.

            “Did it hit her stomach?” Saiko barked.

            “No!” Yusa squeezed the gaping hole in her shoulder.

            “She’s bleeding a lot,” said Shio nervously. Rikai was too horrified to move, a gesture of concern Nami found curiously comforting.

            Yomo scrambled to his feet. He had to get over to them.

“N – nami…” Rize stared at her former friend.

Yomo spun around. Rize spoke?

Her mouth hung open as she watched her very pregnant friend soak the ground in blood.


	20. Soon

**Chapter 20**

**Soon**

 

_Ten Minutes Previous_

            “What is it you said, Seidou? All us half-breeds need to stick together?” Kaneki cleared his throat. He ought to give an inspiring speech, but he was no Tsukiyama.

            “Did I?” Seidou blinked.

            “Before we tackled that one.” Kurona nodded at Amon, who smiled gingerly. “You made me feel like I belonged.”

            Seidou’s eyes widened.     

            “We do belong. I feel like you guys are my family.” Kaneki lowered his eyes. “I’m sorry I’m a selfish king. I’m sorry I haven’t fought for you so much as myself.”

            “Hmm.” Amon tilted his head. “My father used to say fighting for your family is the purest mix of selfish and selfless.”

            “Father?” Mutsuki asked. His gentle tone shared something else with Amon – they knew terrible fathers in ways the rest, fortunately, never could.

            His eyes traveled to the flames leaping upon the collapsing church roof. “He’s likely dying now.”

            _At least you don’t know what killing him is like_ , thought Mutsuki.

            “I need you here. Can you – stay with us?” Kaneki asked.

            “Let’s go.” Amon thrust his way through the frenzy, towards Nagachika.

            Kaneki chuckled to himself. “Apparently I’m more a plagiarist than an author.”

            “If that makes you unlike Eto, I consider that a positive trait,” Aura said dryly.

            “Everyone, release your kakugans. We need to expect his attention at any time.” Kaneki tried not to scream as flames showered the CCG battalion before them.

           

            “She’s too weak to heal properly. Or so it seems.” Kimi cringed at Nami’s dropping blood pressure.

            “Uh – is that – I think her water broke.” Yoriko nodded at the clear liquid washing over the sidewalk. She began to shake as she realized that if Nami hadn’t eaten the kagune underground, she’’d probably already be dead.

            Kimi swore. “She’s going into labor from the shock. Go flag down an ambulance.”

            “What are you doing?” Yomo tried to wrestle a kakugan-displaying Rize back into the van.

            “She’s mad!” Shio cried.

            “They hurt her,” hissed Rize. Tsuneyoshi would be angry. She couldn’t be around for that. With Nami gone, all he had left was her. Why didn’t they understand she couldn’t be around for that?

            Another monster lurched towards them, and some blue-haired ghoul knocked it back, and Rize’s fury devoured her control.

            This monster was dying, and it wasn’t even good to eat, but who cared? She wasn’t going back to slavery.

            Squad Zero lunged to the side, and Yomo finally released Rize.

“Hey!” yelled Yusa.

“Nami’s our friend,” hissed Rikai.

“So am I, kid!” Hairu had all three wrapped in a bear hug.

“She’s an adult. You’re children, and you’re staying here. Keep Nami and Kimi company.” Yomo waved his ukaku as a threat before turning to watch the battle. He couldn’t watch the little ghoul bleed out.

 

“Nagachika Hideyoshi! Remember me?” Seidou cackled. His kakuja emerged just in time to block a hawl of flames.

“He doesn’t remember anyone,” Kanou said, patting the kakuja. “Except his master.”

“You’re no one’s master,” said Kurona. Her kagune slithered out behind her. “But only a very weak man would want to be someone’s master.”

“Weak?” Kanou laughed. “I’ve taken V back from that patricidal dolt, haven’t I?”

“No, Rize gave it back to you,” Amon said.

“Donato! Donato’s here!” The rabbits spilled out from the burning church to their left, and Amon caught his breath.

_I’m needed here, even if this is it._

Kaneki knocked Amon aside just as Hide unleashed another wall of fire.

“God dammit, what did you do to him?” spat Seidou.

“Dragon? I named him after the ghoul savior; wasn’t that fitting?” Kanou pursed his lips. “Because you experiments are the key.”

“Key?” Mutsuki asked.

“The key!” Kanou grinned. “You kill and kill us humans, but you can’t come close to the rampage of disease or warfare. And you know what? _I can stop it all_.”

“Warfare?” Kurona scoffed.

“I can _taste_ the irony,” muttered Aura.

“I’ve found the elixir of life in your RC cells! I’m saving the world, and what better way than to massacre all of you and dozens of humans, only to save them all?” Kanou clasped his hands. “You’ve played into my goal! History will immortalize me, but you know what else will? _Ghouls_! Because your RC cells will stop death!”

“You know this for sure?” Kaneki demanded.

“Because I don’t think you’ve stopped aging.” Kurona wiggled her eyebrows.

“Go ahead and surround me. You’re condemning yourselves to death. Would you stop the maker of something to save everyone from death?” Kanou laughed. “Are ghouls that selfish?”

“Lucky for us, I am.” Kaneki crossed his arms. “Your imperfect cure won’t save anyone.”

Hide showered Kaneki with fire. His partial kakuja wasn’t cover enough, Amon realized.

He leapt before Kaneki, but Hide had already turned to Mutsuki.

“No!” A red rinkaku smashed throat Hide’s armor, and Kanou stumbled back.

“Rize?” Kaneki was mesmerized at the anger in her eyes as she yanked back her kagune to send three more into the kakuja’s wings.

“Stop!” cried Hide, his voice deranged, creaky, and still wildly warm as only Hide’s was.

Amon shrieked. There was no other appropriate response.

How had he not remembered?

Seidou’s eyes lit, and soon, he too was laughing.

“What’s so funny?” cried Mutsuki.

“Hide is Scarecrow. He’s the ghoul who saved me from Kanou all those years ago.” Amon grabbed Kaneki. “He still remembers. He has to.”

Kaneki paled. Sweat dotted his forehead. _Don’t hope_.

_What else do I have?_

“Get thee to Donato,” his whispered to Amon.

 

_Current Time_

“Amon!” Donato gasped. “You’re – you’re –”

“A ghoul? Yes, yes I am.”

“Why?” Donato screeched. “Why? It wasn’t enough that they made you hate me? They had to turn you into a monster, too?”

Amon traded glances with Urie, Higemaru, Uta. “We’re not monsters.”

“Monsters,” said Urie, knocking Donato off his feet, “enjoy eating children’s eyeballs.”

“Monsters hate their families because they view their families as part of the self they hate,” Uta added, drawing his kagune around Donato’s throat.

“Monsters break apart families.” Higemaru’s bikaku jabbed Donato’s chest.

“So yes.” Amon knelt before Donato. “By those definitons, I am also a monster. Everyone is.”

“Why did you enjoy ripping out my limbs? I know you said you wanted revenge on Urie, but you seemed to enjoy a helpless father.” Higemaru spoke sadly. “Who didn’t rescue you?”

“It’s not who didn’t rescue him,” Uta said, tilting his head. “It’s whom _he_ couldn’t rescue.”

Amon’s cheeks burned. “Why couldn’t you have not hurt others? If you cared about me, why didn’t you show me that ghouls could be different?” He lurched back to his feet. “You didn’t love me. You never did.”

“You’re right.” Donato snickered.

“Stop trying to hurt him now that you’re hurting,” snapped Urie.

“You know.” Donato smiled.

“You love him – or at least that you could control him – but it wasn’t enough. It should have been, like in Saiko’s mangas, but it just wasn’t.” Urie swallowed. _Like Dad’s wasn’t enough to keep him alive_.

_That’s it, isn’t it? All this time, I thought love could stop death, and it should, but it can’t._

“Like you couldn’t save your Mutsuki from smashing my Uta.” Donato batted his eyelashes.

“Oh!” cried Higemaru, and Amon gripped Uta’s shoulder.

“But Mutsuki –” Urie looked out beyond the smoke, as if he could spy Mutsuki fighting alongside Kaneki. “Mutsuki is still here. And he’s choosing differently.”

Donato strained against his kagune, and oddly enough, Urie realized he dreaded it. It was coming, and hthe had to, but he didn’t want to.

“I forgive Mutsuki, Father, for he knew not what he did.” Uta drew a deep breath, felt the fire in his lungs. “You knew. And still.”

It was over. Donato lunged forward, and a familiar quinque shot straight through his head.

 

“Suzuya! _Suzuya_!” Hsaio knocked a creature with dangling eyeballs back into Hanbee and Mikage’s quinques.

“Pay attention, Juuzou!” Saiko stomped her feet.

“What is it?” Suzuya paled at the tears in Saiko’s eyes.

“Nami got hurt defending Squad Zero,” Hsaio blurted. “She’s in labor and on her way to a hospital, but Kimi asked us to get you.”

“Can’t Kimi bring her back even if she dies?” demanded Suzuya, looking truly frightened for the first time Hanbee’d ever seen.

“Yeah, but she’s unsure how that affects the kid.” Saiko grabbed Suzuya. “Come with us.”

“Uh –” He couldn’t abandon his squad, but – but Nami –

Tears blurred his vision, and his ears couldn't place the voice that told him to step back, that he would lead.

“I don’t know you!” Suzuya cried out angrily, opening his eyes –

“Your girlfriend saved me. Now you go save her.” Shinohara, the Shinohara, his dad who could now see everything he had and hadn’t done in four years – bent over, smiling into his eyes like he had whe he’d introduced himself.

_Hi Juuzou, I’m Special Class Shinohara. Your new partner._

Of course Nami had used her freedom from battle to save him and return. She was nonsensical and beautiful like that.

Suzuya nodded. He wanted to do more, like throw his arms around Shinohara and wail, but he would do that later. When Nami was safe and the battle won.

 

            “Three…three…” Kaneki mumbled.

            “Can you elaborate?” Aura requested, huddling behind Seidou’s kakuja. “You just sent us down a man.”

            “We have three of us with Rize’s rinkaku. And Kanou’s worked with Seidou, too. You and Mutsuki have the kagunes he’s not familiar with.”

            “Can I please just kill him, Kaneki?” pled Rize.

            “I’ll tell you all about vengeful murders later, Rize, but for now please believe me when I say there’s a better way,” pled Mutsuki.

            His hands on her arms distracted her momentarily. “You smell delicious.”

            “Urie thinks he does, too,” Seidou cracked.

            “Is now the time?” Kurona rolled her eyes. “We are so fucked.”

            Kaneki rubbed his chin. “Seidou, how much control do you have over your kakuja?”

“Do I have a choice other than ‘complete’?”

“Not really.” Kaneki swallowed.

 

            Amon roared and Uta stood stock-still.

            Akira Mado, flanked by Shirazu and Hakatori, dangled Amatsu by her side.

Would Amon hate her? Dare she say anything?

            Uta wiped his eyes. “That’s a good woman, Amon Koutarou.”

            She’d done this for him. For all of them, so their souls wouldn’t be stained with patricide or vengeance. Amon discovered himself too afraid to move, to exist in the same world as Akira Mado.

            “Let’s grab his body. Higa, Urie, help Uta. There’s one more coffin on your left, Shirazu and Hakatori.” Akira advanced, coughing. “Amon, I’ll help you get his body out of here.”

            “Should I even bury him? Shouldn’t he burn?” Amon’s fingers brushed the split in Donato’s skull.

            “Shouldn’t we all? He’s gone, but his memoris will always be here. You might as well have a place you can visit with them.” Akira lifted his feet.

            Embers crashed around them, reflecting off the tears in her eyes.

            Amon hoisted Donato up by his shoulders. As the crucifix tumbled down at their feet, he thanked God he was forever in her debt.

 

“Now’s you’re time to be great, kid. Not that you aren’t already.” Kaneki nodded at Aura, who sprang out from Seidou’s shield. RC bullets whirled around him, and fire hurled towards his face – but that ghoul, Seidou, had him covered.

_“So you’re going to use your kakuja to shield Aura as he flies towards Hide.”_

_“Excuse me?” Aura barked._

_“You’re ukaku. Deal with it.” Kurona sniffed_.

Hide howled as Rize knocked him to the ground and Kurona tightened her kagune around him. All six of Kaneki’s tentacles were required to take his friend’s enourmous, scaled arms.

 _“Besides, you’re the bait,” Kaneki continued. “Rize, Kurona – you two and I will wrap our kagunes around Hide’s neck while Kanou’s distracted by Aura and Seidou._ ”

“You exposed idiots!” Kanou laughed. “I’m not dying anytime soon.”

“Are you so sure?” A bikaku impaled Kanou through his neck.

_“Mutsuki – can you grab Kanou?”_

_“You trust me?” Mutsuki’s eyes bulged._

_“Kinda have to now.” Aura smirked._

_“Of course I do.” Kaneki smiled at Mutsuki._

_Haise still lives in you. Mutsuki felt safe again, even as people burned around them. “Let’s go.”_

            Kanou gurgled and clawed at Mutsuki’s kagune, and for a moment, Mutsuki fantasized about throwing him to the ground and tearing off his flesh mouthful by mouthful.

            But that wasn’t what Kaneki wanted. Urie either. And Mutsuki didn’t want to be a monster anymore.

            He ripped his bikaku away from Kanou and dragged the doctor to the gravel, where Itou waited with healing serum.

            “You’re not gonna die anytime soon. There’s n escape,” Mutsuki told him.

            “I’ll –b-be part g-ghoul if you in-inject me,” he wheezed.

            “Now you’ll understand,” Itou said simply, sliding the needle into a crying Kanou’s pupil.

 

            The kakuja gave way, and Hide tumbled to the smoking gravel, bloody and bruised and _alive_ and _free_.

            Kaneki launched himself to his kneeling friend. He threw his arms around him, not caring that loud sobs ravaged his body. “Hide – Hide –Hide!”

            Hide blinked slowly, barely conscious.

“I’m sorry I left you. I won’t again.”

“Hey, we’re ghoul brothers now,” Hide mumbled as his eyes slipped shut.

“What’s wrong with him?” cried Kaneki.

“He’s exhausted.” Eto stepped forward and sniffed Hide. “I don’t smell any serious injuries.”

“Did you know?” Kaneki didn’t want to ask, but he had to.

_Hide waved his arm below Kaneki’s starved nose._

_“This is the future, Ken. It starts with not being afraid. You can eat me. It’s okay.” Hide blinked back the lump in his throat. “I’ll still live for you.”_

_And Kaneki dove into his flesh._

“Of course I knew. But once he disappeared, I saw no reason to tell you.” Eto shrugged. “I thought it would demotivate you.”

 _You’re despicable_ , Kaneki wanted to scream.

But he saw the way her eyes lingered on her father’s coffin, the tic in her cheek, and perhaps then he glimpsed – not quite who Kuzen Yoshimura desired to save, but a person. And, for Kaneki, that was enough.

“I’ll get him to an ambulance.” Seidou lifted Hide’s limp body. “Come on, King. You should be there when he wakes up.”

“I’ll see if we can arrange him near the Kirishimas’ room.” Kiyoko pulled out her phone.

 

“The epideral won’t work on a ghoul,” said man in a white coat, but in her dazed state, Nami could have sworn he was Tsuneyoshi, bending over her and shoving himself inside her.

A scream ripped from her throat, just like whatever was ripping itself out of her stomach.

A woman shrieked, but then Kimi’s face floated above her. Beeping machines flooded her eardrums, and something cold rested above her heart. “Nami, it’s okay, it’s me. You’re okay. You’re having the baby.”

Iyo? Baby? Nami gasped back her memories.

Iyo – Iyo was dead, and GOAT and Juuzou existed, and Furuta was dead.

“Her pulse is still too weak. Get me a bag of Type A quick.” A nurse removed the stethoscope from Nami’s chest.

“But – she’s a ghoul –” protested a man.

“I said get it for her,” snarled the man in the white coat.

“The kids are okay. Don’t worry about them. Saiko and Hsaio are fetching Juuzou, too.” Yoriko’s voice appeared, but Nami felt too weak to turn her head.

Cramps swelled within her, and Nami bit her lip to avoid screaming.

_I didn’t want this – I’m not ready – why am I in so much pain?_

“Breath. Breath, okay, honey?” The nurse rubbed her hair, almost like a mother should.

Hot tears poured down Nami’s face. _I don’t know how to be a mom_.

“Nami!” Juuzou shoved his way past a doctor. “Out of my way – that’s my girlfriend!”

Juuzou’s eyes fell upon hers, and she felt capable of breathing again.

“I’m – sorry.”

“For what? Being a hero? You were just doing what Mr. Shinohara would do.” Juuzou nibbled on the ends of his hair, unsure how to comfort her.

Nami gasped in broken laughter. “That’s the highest praise.”

“I know you saved him.” Juuzou stroked her crimson curls.

“She should stabilize with more blood.” The nurse jammed an IV in her arm before it could heal. “This is my first ghoul!”

Juuzou flashed her a smile. “They’re nice, aren’t they?”

 

“Isn’t it wild?” Mutsuki sat besides Urie. “We reached our goal of peace without killing all the ghouls in the world.”

“There’s still more to be done,” Urie said. “Opinions won’t change overnight.”

“No, but there’s a place for us hybrids. Probably.” Mutsuki settled back against Urie’s chest. “Don’t get mad at me.”

“Why would I?” Urie frowned.

“Because you’re Urie Kuki,” teased Higemaru. Urie stuck his tongue out, and Saiko smiled at the Aura’s blush, which recently occurred every time Higemaru opened his mouth.

Hsaio kept nibbling the corners of her lip, waiting for word on Nami. But Saiko refused to believe in pain anymore. She believed Nami would be okay and emerge with a screaming the Quinx could spoil rotten.

“I’m glad you didn’t get to kill Donato,” Mutsuki confessed.

“Why?” Urie felt prickles in his chest.

“Because I killed for revenge. It just made me hate myself more,” he said softly.

Urie tightened his arm around Mutsuki. “You’re safe with me. I’m not mad. And – you’re a hella lot wiser than me, so I’ll take your word for it.”

The Quinx laughed as one.

 

“Okay, but what if I, like, run away to America? Or Antartica.” Eto paced in Yoshimura’s room. She did not appreciate Tatara and Arima’s team-up to lock her inside.

“But what if you, like, don’t?” Tatara asked.

“Can we please stop talking like this?” muttered Arima.

“Shut up, Kishou.” Eto lowered her face. “He’s going to hate me.”

The door burst open. Hirako, Irimi, and Koma shoved their way in.

“Where’s the kids?” Eto greeted them.

“Resting with the other gardeners. I think they’re all anxious on Nami. We left them trying to explain to Rize everything that happened,” Hirako said.

“No, we left them interrupting their explanation because Shio wants to plan a garden reunion dinner,” said Irimi dryly.

“Oh dear.” Arima gulped.

“He was already texting Tsukiyama to organize.” Koma clapped Arima on his shoulder. “Sorry.”

“Looks like you’ll have to socialize,” Eto sang.

“Eto,” murmured Yoshimura, his eyes still closed.

“Fuck,” she muttered.

“That can’t be your first word to him,” Koma said in disbelief.

“Too late, it was.” Eto grimaced. “’Sup, old man? We freed you from Kanou. I may have been behind giving you to Kanou to begin with. Oops. Either way, your Kaneki helped change the world and now ghouls aren’t automatic Satan spawn. Oh, and V is down. Yeah. Did you know I was working with Arima this whole time? Hi.”

Yoshimura opened his eyes. “I love you.”

“Don’t kid yourself,” Eto said briskly.

“He’s not kidding,” said Koma.

“But I don’t know how I feel about him,” Eto hissed.

“You’re here. For now, that might be enough.” Arima guided Eto towards the bed. “Hello, Kuzen.”

“By the way,” Eto said, snatching Yoshimura’s hand like it was nothing, “Kaneki didn’t save me. _I_ saved him.”

“Technically, I helped,” Arima remarked.

“You two saved him _and_ nearly destroyed him. But in the end he’s alive and we all owe our lives to him.” Irimi rolled her eyes.

“It’s a happy ending!” Eto giggled.

“It’s a happy ending with you,” mumbled a dazed Yoshimura. Arima was pleased to see pink tinge Eto’s cheeks.

 

            “Mr. Kirishima!” Hinami clapped her hands as the ghoul’s eyes slowly opened.

            Both Ayato and Touka intensified their focus on the wall opposite Arata, and Kaneki rolled his eyes.

            “You two really are alike,” Hinami chirped.

            “Ayato, shouldn’t you introduce her?” Touka said.

            He glared at her, but dutifully swiveled around. Hinami felt warm beside him. Even if Dad rejected him, Hinami wouldn’t.

            “Um, hi.”

            “Ayato,” croaked Arata. “Touka.”

            “This is Hinami. My girlfriend,” he said stiffly.

            “Hello, Hinami.”

            “I’m so glad to meet you.” Kaneki wiped his eyes. “You weren’t the only victim of CCG scientists.”

            “Yeah, my boyfriend was, too.” Touka turned to face her father and threw her arms around Kaneki, forcing a smile on her face.

            “S – s – sorry,” Arata choked. “How long?”

            “Years. Many years.” Yomo and Uta stood in a corner.

            “But you’re here now,” Kaneki said. “And the prime minister is about to abnnounce that ghouls aren’t illegal anymore. They’re going to supply us with an RC kagune to eat. We’re going to be okay, all of us.”

            “It’s not okay.” Touka’s lips trembled. “It’s really not. Dad.”

            She stood to lean over his bed. Her tears dripped onto his face. “I’ve missed you so much.”

            Arata lifted his arms, which were imprisoned by more IVs and medications than Touka cared to count. And she didn’t care.

            “Hug time.” Hinami shoved Ayato forward, and then waved at Yomo.

            Uta chuckled as Yomo brgedgingly stepped forward. “You’ll be very proud when you hear all your kids accomplished.”

            “Yeah, they only changed the world. No big deal.” Uta snickered.

            “With Kaneki. We couldn’t do it without Kaneki.” Touka smiled at him. “I love him.”

            Arata turned his eyes to Kaneki and smiled. _That’s enough for me_.

            Behind Kaneki, Hide stirred on his bed.

            “He’ll wake up soon.” Touka smiled at Kaneki.

            Kaneki gulped. He’d abandoned Hide, he’d abandoned Touka and Anteiku and the Quinx – he’d tortured Ayato – and yet they still wanted him. Their _father_ wanted him.

            Soon Hide would awaken and soon Kaneki would have to grovel before Yoshimura and grapple with the reconstruction of a world that’d never existed for ghouls.

            But soon wasn’t now, and right now the Touka’s arms stretched out towards him.

_Is this what family feels like?_

Yomo’s arms awkwardly encircled him and Touka, who in turn embraced Ayato and Arata. Hinami had latched onto Ayato, and Uta on Yomo.

_It has to be._

 

The waiting room overflowed with GOAT, civilians, and investigators. Squad Suzuya huddled closest to the door, and Karren and Shuu made busy entertaining Mirumo. Chie was trying to comfort a distraught Banjou, who couldn’t bear the wait.

Naki, Miza, and the White Suits tossed barbs with the Clowns – including a sullen Roma – and CCG agents. Yoriko sat on Takeomi’s lap, to his father’s discomfort, and some parental instinct had kicked in for Akira and Amon, because they’d insisted on staying in Rio’s room so he wouldn’t wake alone. Hakatori lounged with Ikoma, and Asa was drawing fake tattoos on momentarily truced Oggai and Aogiri children, to Hirako’s mock-horror.

A nurse came out and waved at Shinohara, who had sat quiet with his family and fellow special investigators. He stood after one more kiss from his wife.

 

Shinohara passed by a huddled Squad Suzuya to enter a room that smelt of blood and salt and alcohol. The little ghoul lay on the bed, her eyes wide at the sight of him.

And Suzuya, Suzuya Juuzou, stood beside her, bouncing a tiny, mewling baby in his arms.

“Oh – oh. Mr. Shinohara.” Suzuya hesitated, his vulnerable ghoul child tight in his arms.

“Do you want to hold your grandson?” rasped Nami from behind Juuzou. Her eyes were wide and earnest.

Grandson? Did Shinohara still want him? Juuzou trembled.       

Shinohara could see why Juuzou loved her. “I would love to.”

Tears filled Suzuya’s eyes as he handed the bundle to Shinohara.

The child’s hair was dark and wispy, its eyes small and closed with trust.

Shinohara remembered holding his own children besides his wife at the hospital, the hope and awe that had filled him.

“Well done, Juuzou.” Shinohara smiled down at the baby, then at his adopted child. “You’re going to be a great father.”

“M – me?” he stammered.

“You,” Nami confirmed, reaching out to take his hand.

Juuzou launched himself onto the bed to press his lips against hers.

“Ow.” Nami winced.

“I love you, Nami,” he repeated in singsong.

“I know you do,” said Nami, tears in her eyes. “And I love you.”

 

**Thank you all so much for reading! <3 I hope you face every day with as much courage as Suzuya Juuzou. **

 

 

 


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